When you are going through a bad time, you often look for someone to lean on. Whether it be a parent, a friend, or a partner. But what can you do when they are unsupportive? Each type of relationship is different, but this article will specifically talk about the unsupportive partner. Having an unsupportive partner can truly be devastating, but not all love needs to be lost. This article will help you and your partner work through this, together.
When handling a situation with two people, it is important to keep all emotions in mind. You are both allowed to feel however you are feeling – sad, mad, flustered, or frustrated, to name a few. Whatever it may be, it is important to vocalize those feelings for the other to hear and understand. Generally, when someone is unsupportive, there is reasoning behind it. When something is happening, or the normal has changed, it can be hard for all involved. While these difficult conversations can be uncomfortable, it is important to vocalize what is going on.
A few ways you can start a conversation include:
“I sense what I told you is uncomfortable. Can we talk about it?”
“I really need some extra support right now. What can we do to both feel okay during this time?”
We, as humans, can be extra vulnerable when we need support but are not getting it. When conversing, it is recommended to try and use “I” statements. It can be challenging to not become defensive with an unsupportive partner – we always want to protect ourselves first. Humans inherently want to help others and keep homeostasis. When someone is being unsupportive, it can be helpful to understand why.
A technique called role reversal may also be helpful when speaking with an unsupportive partner. It can be beneficial to sit down with your partner and both put on the other persons shoes, so to speak. Trying to understand something from the other persons perspective can go a long way.
Each side can also need time to cope with what is going on. It can be exhausting to have an unsupportive partner and you deserve rest and time to heal on your own. When dealing with an unsupportive partner, take the time to step away and do something that you love. Alone time can go a long way in giving yourself a well deserved rest. It’s important to keep yourself first, well and happy.
Not all love needs to be lost with an unsupportive partner. While it would seemingly be easier to get the support you deserve instantly, there are ways to work through this. Relationships are as strong as the humans in it. Time and patience plays a big role – an unsupportive partner can become supportive. Here is your hope to keep on fighting and to work through this together. You can do this.