I didn’t know if I’d put another update on there, but I thought it’d be encouraging to hear the most recent part of my story to the others out there that are struggling.
Last week on Thursday was a year since my sexual assault (to those who haven’t been with me since the beginning, yes, it did happen in a church, hence the title). On that day I saw my therapist again. Not because I’m going downhill again or anything, but I figured since she was the one who helped me through everything the most, it’d be nice to see her again and update her on everything. Plus, it’s always nice and relieving to talk to her. She was really proud of how far I’ve come. All the things I was diagnosed with when I first started seeing her (depression, anxiety, and ptsd) have really decreased for me. Honestly, I’m proud of me, too.
Yes, I still see him everyday at school, but it’s not as hard. Yes, sometimes my ptsd still hits me like a truck, but it’s not unbearable or uncontrollable anymore. Yes, I still flip out on the rare occasions that I’m in the same room as him for 10 seconds, but I’m better. I don’t break down at the sight of him like I did this time last year. It’s also been over 8 months since I last self harmed. I use to be really bad about that, but I’ve found other outlets, like journaling (which I highly suggest). Stuff like that has also really helped me to learn to love myself a lot more than I use to. This is the happiest I’ve ever been with myself.
I’m posting on here for me, but I’m also posting on here for all of you. I hope that if you’re in a dark place right now, you can see through my story that it won’t always be dark. Last year was the worst year of my life, but I’ve grown from that horrible event. It doesn’t rule or define me anymore. Yeah I still struggle sometimes, but I’m overall happy. Last year I thought I’d never find that again, but here I am. So just know that it’s possible to feel happiness again after a traumatic event like that. Just hold on, and always keep fighting.