Wits end…

Hey, it’s Jamie…

I was supposed to head back to Ohio tonight, and repatch my relationship with my boyfriend. Unfortunately, my mom had a nasty slip, and we’re here at the ER getting examined (just for safety precautions since she’s older).

Unfortunately, he didn’t take the news well that I couldn’t go to the bus station, and lost it on me. Some close friends know, and they knew this was bound to happen. I couldn’t take it anymore and blocked him on everything…

I don’t know what else to do…I’m lost, angry, confused, heartbroken…


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24 comments

  1. Shannon Volunteer

    Hey Jamie,

    Thank you for sharing with us. I am sorry to hear about your mom, I hope she is doing better. I’m sorry your boyfriend responded in that way and was not more understanding and empathetic toward the situation. I know its been a little while since you posted this, but I hope you come back to let us know how you are doing, or just to chat if you want. Be kind to yourself

    Shannon

  2. Mary Volunteer

    Hi Jamie,

    Thanks for reaching out. I hope your mom is doing well. I’m so sorry that this is how your boyfriend responded to what happened. It sounds like you were really hoping to fix things with your relationship. I don’t blame you for blocking him. Your mom was hurt and in the emergency room. He should have been more understanding of the situation. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. Please feel free to reach out, and if you are in crisis and need to talk to someone right away you can text VOICE to 741-741. You’re not alone.

    Mary

  3. mkyuellig

    Hey Jamie,

    I’m sorry that things did not go as planned, and that your mother had an accident. I hope that everything turned out okay and that she isn’t seriously injured. I’m sorry that your boyfriend reacted angrily towards you for something that was clearly out of your control, and honestly sounds like a medical emergency. I think that anyone who truly cares about you would have responded to this news with kindness and understanding. Still, I know that the end of a relationship can be difficult regardless of the circumstances. I hope that you are able to take some time to yourself, and also are able to spend some time with those you love while you are grieving the end of this relationship.

    Stay strong and be gentle with yourself,
    Keight

  4. candyappleb Volunteer

    Hi Jamie,

    I’m so sorry to hear about your mom. I hope she’s okay! I understand why you’re angry, lost, confused and heartbroken. I’m sorry that your boyfriend chose to react the way he did. No one deserves to treat you poorly regardless of the reason you were unable to make the trip. We’re here for you. Please feel free to post anytime you need to talk.

    All the best,
    Becca

  5. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear Jamie,
    I am so sorry to hear this…it really hurts when we find about the truth about someone we care about and who is supposed to care about us. In a positive light, you are in a safe place and not stuck in a bad situation in Ohio. Take care of yourself and take the time to grieve.
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  6. colton95 Volunteer

    Your boyfriend should have been more understanding of your situation and I hope that you will be okay and remove him from your life if it has to come to that. I hope that your mom will be okay and that you will be okay as well!

  7. Northlane1991 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Thanks for updating us. I hope your mom is doing okay after the fall.

    I am so sorry your boyfriend lost it on you. If he dosen’t understand that then he should not be part of your life. I understand why you feeling like this and i truly bel ive if he cared about you then he would fully support you. Let us know if we can do anything!

  8. Marissa Day Captain

    Hi Jamie,

    Thanks for updating us. I hope your mom is doing okay after her fall!

    I’m sorry your boyfriend lost it on you. It was completely out of your control and you were being a good daughter by staying with your mom. If he doesn’t understand that, then you don’t need him in your life. I understand why you’re feeling everything you are, but I truly think you’re better off without him.

    Please let us know if we can do anything for you! We’re here for you no matter what.
    Marissa

  9. Jess Volunteer

    I am so sorry that this happened. I hope your mom is doing well and is out of the hospital. It’s so disappointing that your boyfriend wasn’t understanding about your mother. I think it’s great that you recognized you needed space from him right now and blocked him. Taking time to figure out what you want from the relationship and whether this is going to be a positive experience for you is incredibly important. Your mental health is VITAL and taking the time to care for yourself is so incredibly important. It takes a lot of strength to recognize that we need space and time away from someone we care about, so kudos to you for recognizing that within yourself.

    Thank you for updating us. I hope that your mom is well and that the time away from the situation is helping you. If you need anything else at all, you know we are always here for you. Stay strong and keep fighting. <3
    -Jess

  10. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I’m so sorry about what happened, and I hope your mom is doing better now. I hate that he wasn’t understanding of the situation. I think it’s strange that he didn’t support you, especially since someone you cared about was in the ER. I also believe that blocking him for now is a good idea. This can give you time to think about everything and truly evaluate whether or not to keep him in your life. It’s understandable that you’re dealing with all these emotions at once, and you can take as much time as you need to figure this out.
    Thank you for the update. I hope the time away from him is helpful for you. If you need anything else, please feel free to write back. We’re all here for you, and we’re glad to support you.

  11. Mindfully Em Volunteer

    I hear how angry you are about your boyfriend, and his lack of caring for you and your mom after her fall. It’s a tough thing to have someone go through an event like that. It sounds like blocking him and not being able to have contact will be helpful. Take it easy today.

  12. Ryan4121 Volunteer

    Jamie,

    I’m so sorry about what happened to your mom. I can completely relate to your emotions…going through a challenging experience in life and then a partner show anger towards you for not focusing on them. IF you are seeking advice, I’ve found it easiest to take on one problem at a time. It seems like you’ve chosen to help your mother, which is likely a great call. Maybe take care of her, and when you feel at peace call your boyfriend. If he is the right one for you, he isn’t going anywhere. If not, there are millions of men who would support you, not yell at you, during hard times. Please hang in there, Jamie. Focus on you and your family first.

    Ryan

  13. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I’m so sorry this happened. I hope your mom is okay. Maybe your mom falling was a sign that it was better that you didn’t go visit him. I’m happy you blocked him because it could have gotten worse if you didn’t. You will find someone else who treats you with more respect and someone who will care if your mom is hurt. Don’t be heartbroken over him. He is not worth crying over because he hurt you and that’s not okay. Things will start together better over time. I’m happy you are safe and your mom didn’t get hurt. If you need anything we are here for you!
    -Alyssa

  14. Brianna W Volunteer Volunteer

    Hey there,

    I know things are frustrating but maybe blocking him and taking that step is what’s best. I’m sorry to hear about your mom I hope she’s okay and that nothing is seriously wrong. Thank you for updating us again and hopefully we hear from you again soon.
    -Brianna

  15. brodie_james Volunteer

    Hello, friend!

    Everything that you’re feeling right now is entirely valid. Obviously I don’t know anything about your relationship with your boyfriend before this incident, but it seems like things have been pretty rocky lately, and then things just got worse when you weren’t able to meet with him like you planned. I can imagine this weekend felt really overwhelming with you needing to take care of your mom in the ER, and then having your boyfriend blow up on you about needing to cancel plans to meet and fix things, and a lot of times in situations like this, we need the space to think and not be bombarded with messages or calls. That being said, if blocking him is what you needed to do in order to process what happened and to figure out what to do next, then that’s what was necessary. You did the right thing.

    Like I said, I don’t know anything else about the situation or your relationship with him, so giving solid or specific advice isn’t really appropriate. One thing I will suggest, though, is to follow your gut. Even if it’s hard, even if being with him is comfortable or easy, if your gut tells you that it’s better to keep him blocked (or to unblock him to break up with him), trust that feeling. This can be incredibly difficult – it took me two years to do it in my own relationship. At the end of the day, your responsibility is to take care of yourself, however that looks like. Just know that whatever you decide to do, we are here to support you through it every step of the way.

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us!

    Cheers,
    Brodie

  16. Lizzi

    Hey Jamie,
    I’m so sorry about what happened. I know you really care about him and it just sucks that he didn’t understand or care enough about what you and your mom were going through. I hope that your mom is alright! I’m so proud of you for putting up a boundary with him after what happened, although I’m sure it was so difficult to do. Even when you know a relationship isn’t right or is even toxic/abusive, it can still be hard to cut someone out of your life when you do care about them. I think it’s fair to be lost and angry and heartbroken right now because what you’re going through is frustrating and sad, and I truly hope that things start to look up for you. Lean on those close friends you have… they’ll be there for you through this.

    Much hope,
    Lizzi

  17. CarmenR Volunteer

    Hi there,

    I am sorry about your mom falling, and I hope she is okay. Your boyfriend should have been more understanding of the situation, and what you were dealing with. I’m sorry he wasn’t. If you feel that blocking him is what’s best than that’s okay. You need time to think about things, and sometimes cutting off contact is the best way to do that. I know things are hard right now, but we are here for you. We support you. Stay strong.

    Carmen

  18. Jordan L

    Hey there,
    I’m sorry to hear this and I hope your mom is doing well.
    You’re boyfriend should understand that you need to be there for your mom and that family is more important than anything. Seeing his actions about how he handled this situation this appears to be the best way to handle the situation.
    Thank you for trusting us and being able to share your feelings with us.
    We are always here to listen and support you.

    Much love,
    -Jordan

  19. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    I’m so sorry that this happened, and hope that your mom is okay. He should definitely have understood that you needed to stay and help your mom. Our crisis text line is texting VOICE to 741 741 if you need more immediate help. We are here for you-thank you for coming back to share.

    Erin

  20. Amysue43 Volunteer

    I’m happy to see that you have confided in this organization to share your feelings and concerns. I apologize for the circumstances you’ve come across recently. I’m sorry he didn’t respond in a supportive and understanding manner. That can be very frustrating in a time of need. I do think you are in the right spot and have taken proper measures for yourself and your family. You deserve so much better than that and I know that you have a bright and beautiful future to come!

    Stay stong

  21. eagle206 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie,

    I’m so sorry to hear about your mum I hope she is doing ok! My grandpa took a spill last month and it was really scary, so I feel for you. It’s frustrating that your boyfriend didn’t understand that things like this come up and that this wasn’t in any way your fault. It’s understandable to be a little upset or sad that you couldn’t visit him in Ohio but it would be nice if he understood that you didn’t choose to not come. He shouldn’t have taken this out on you, especially since it was completely out of your control. If he is being toxic it was probably a really good idea to block him. Hopefully, you can talk to your friends about how you want to proceed with this. Taking some time to think always has helped me in past relationships. Stay strong.

    Tyler

  22. Megan Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    I know break ups can be really hard, but maybe this is for the best. I’m not sure you want to be with someone who isn’t understanding at all, especially of accidents like your mom ending up in the ER. You deserve so much better than someone who loses it on you over that. You’re incredible and you deserve someone who treats you amazing.

    Don’t forget that,
    Megan

  23. Graciegrace22

    Hello, Jamie

    I want you to know you are not at fault for his actions. Never blame yourself as that is not your fault. It is good that you are able to have close friends to lean on during this time. I hope everything is okay with your mom and that you are able to get to a safe place with this man. I think you took an amazing first step by blocking him.

  24. Solongago

    I’m sorry but I am going to give you a facebook answer (not one that is taking into account who we all are, just a shoot from the hip sort of answer).

    Dump that jerk! You can do better. You have so much to offer. You do not need someone who is not going to be understanding and supportive when your mother is in the ER. I am glad you blocked him on everything.

    The thing is, when you are with someone for some time, you get to thinking that you don’t want to lose all that time that you have put into the relationship. So you stay, you fix things up. Things go on. You put up with more stuff. Finally, he does something even worse, and you break up again, but then, you’ve been together for even longer and the old argument is still true, and you are that much more likely to go back. At the end of the day, if you are with this guy for 2 years or 20 years, if he is a jerk, he is a jerk, and it will not make it any easier for you to finally kick him to the curb, and find someone else.

    I’m sorry. I really don’t know your entire situation, and you are the only one that can make decisions. Whatever you do, that is up to you, and you can come here and talk about it, good or bad. We care about you, and understand that it’s complicated. I am hoping the best for you.