Why I feel damaged and broken

499 6

Perhaps for 40 years I have felt broken in many ways, my grandmother constantly told me I wasn’t wanted, I was a mistake, that nobody loves me, and I’m nothing but a burden all were between the ages of 8-12.

When I became 13 my mother began belittling me, anything I may have done for her she always thought there was a ulterior motive which hurt me more than I can ever say.

And whatever I had left after I was raped and sexually abused was ripped from me by my peers and the education staff, by the end of 1987 I was damaged and broken

By 1998 I was healing and dealing with my past very well, until my mother now everyone in her life was gone or dead except for me so all her frustration, anger, and negative energy was aimed right at me no matter what I did or didn’t do

So even though I have been damaged and broken cause of the rape and abuse I have always seemed to pull myself together, and through the tears I will continue to pull myself together no matter how many times nor how long it takes


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6 comments

  1. CarmenR Volunteer

    Keep up the positive attitude you have. You are strong and can get through this, and everyone here at AVFTI is here for you!

    Carmen

  2. Erin Day Captain

    I continue to be sorry for all the pain and abuse you have endured. You deserved better. You deserved a better life. We are happy you are here, and will do what we can to support you. Thank you.

    Erin

  3. Ashley Day Captain

    Nobody should be told that they’re a burden, especially not children who are desperately trying to figure out how to navigate life.

    Since you’ve joined our community, I’ve wondered why your mother mistreats you and the answer is here. Your mom seems to carry a significant amount of pain. Instead of expressing her negative feelings in a healthy and positive way, she has chosen to pull you down with her.

    You have proven your resilience and I know you’ll continue to keep your head above water.

  4. daisy Volunteer

    I am so proud of you for what you have gone through and to have the attitude you do. You may not feel strong, but you sure sound like it to me. You have come through so much and still have your head above water, even when it gets hard. <3

  5. Marissa Day Captain

    I left a comment on your other post, but I just wanted to remind you again to stay strong, you’re doing great. You have the right mindset to get you through this hard time <3

  6. Kristen Eby

    You will always come out on the other side. Of this I have no doubt. Have you considered alternative housing for your mother? You shouldn’t have to suffer just because she needs care.