Why?

I was 13 years old . I had my first boyfriend. The first time I snuck out with him it was a party old me to drink I wanted to be cool and so I drank it the last thing I remember is being put into a car I don’t know how long I was out but I woke up there were to many guys there my boyfriend was watching them and laughing and drinking and I couldn’t feel my legs they we all touching my and all of the sudden I felt a sharp pain down there it was my boyfriend I couldn’t move or speak and after they were done taking turns they told me if I told anyone they would kill me and that they would do it again and while my boyfriend was driving he said that if I leave him he would hurt me so I never left him for a year I put up with him being abusive mentally and physically . While he was at work I packed up most of my things and left than later on I found out I was pregnant with his child. I had to tell him so I messaged him and told him he seemed happy but than started saying bad things about me and said that I should get an abortion. I blocked him and deleted him. I have not heard from him ever since. My due date is in a couple weeks. I lived my life in fear but now when I have my baby I’m worried that he might hurt her. I found a new guy he said he would protect me from him. I told my parents and they called the cops and told them what happed but they didn’t have enough evidence to arrest him.  


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16 comments

  1. Mary Volunteer

    Hi Harmonizer334,

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am so sorry for what happened to you. You did not deserve any of it. It was so brave of you to leave him. Please check out the resources under our “Find Help” tab. We are here for you!

    Mary

  2. alexcostello Volunteer

    Hi there Harmonizer334 ,
    Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, it has taken so much courage and bravery and you should be so proud of yourself. I want you to know that we will always be here for you, no matter what. I also want you to know that you are so brave for being so strong despite all of the hurt that you have endured and your baby is lucky to have someone so strong and caring as a mother. Please know that if you ever need anything this community will always be here to lend a hand. It is hard to comprehend how people can be so cruel to others and i’m so sorry that you have had to deal with that first hand.
    Sending love and light to you
    Alex

  3. Northlane1991 Volunteer

    i am so sorry this happened to you just know you didnt deserve what he did. You deserved to be treated with respect and love. Are you looking forward to being a mother. Raising a child is one of the most beautiful things a person can do and just know their are people here who understand the anger and being terrified. We are here for you.

  4. Natalie M Day Captain

    Hi there,
    I am so sorry that you had to experience this! What this guy did to you was not okay. He took advantage of you and I am sorry. You did not deserve any of it. You did the right thing by telling your parents. I hope that they will be able to keep you and your baby safe. Please let us know how we can help to keep you safe. We are here for you and we are on your side. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Come back anytime to share more. Stay strong!
    -Natalie

  5. Gamato04 Volunteer

    I’m so sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve it at all. Are you excited to be a mother? How are your parents? I hope your child brings you nothing but light in the world, and mostly that he never sets foot near you or your child again.

  6. Solongago

    I’m sorry this happened. You did not deserve this. Maybe when the baby is born, a paternity test will give the police enough evidence on the guy. And maybe you do not want him in your or the baby’s life. Maybe the best thing to do is to take care of you and your baby. It sounds like your parents are being supportive? I am sorry there are real jerks in the world.

  7. Thomas Volunteer

    Hi Harmonizer334,

    I am so sorry that this happened to you. You didn’t deserve any of it. You deserve to be treated with love and respect, just like everyone else. While I am glad that you are no longer in that relationship, I know that many challenges may be still be ahead. I agree some of the other volunteers that pursuing a restraining order of some kind could be helpful, especially if you are concerned with your safety or your baby’s. I am glad that you have found a new guy to help, as well as your parents. How comfortable are you with these support systems? If there is anything else we can do to help, ranging from counseling to legal help, please let us know. A Voice for the Innocent has a lot of resources. You can find them under our “Find Help” tab. But perhaps most importantly, you are not alone. We believe you and we support you. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Stay strong. You can do this.

    Thomas

  8. Zoe Volunteer

    Hi, Harmonizer334.

    I am so sorry for what happened to you. I’m glad that you were finally able to get out of that abusive relationship, but I know you must still feel so much pain. And I understand your concern for your child. Have you considered getting a restraining or protective order against him? That might make you feel safer, if he knows where you live or work.

    And I’m so sorry you haven’t been able to get the justice you deserve, that no one seems to be doing anything about it. I know that must be difficult to deal with. Do you feel like you have a good support system in place? And have you considered going to counseling? You can look under our “Find Help” tab, or go to rainn.org to look up resources in your area. Especially with everything you’re having to go through, it’s definitely important to make sure you have the support that you need. And, of course, we’re here for you as well.

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. Please do whatever you need to do to feel safe, and to be able to start healing. Don’t hesitate to reach out again, at any point.

    Zoe.

  9. rkr18 Volunteer

    Hello Harmonizer334,

    I am sorry about all the pain and suffering you have endured. You are truly brave and strong and I pray that you stay safe and well protected. Please keep us informed as to how you are doing. If you need further support, please check out the resources we have available on our website.
    -Marie

  10. music2799 Volunteer

    Hi Harmonizer334,
    I can’t imagine how terrifying that was, and I’m so sorry about what you’ve been through. You didn’t deserve for this to happen to you, and you didn’t deserve the mental and physical abuse. No one deserves to be treated that way – period.
    I’m extremely happy that you were able to leave him. Realizing that it’s abuse, let alone leaving, can be so difficult. I agree with the people who suggested a protective/restraining order. This could keep him away from you.
    I’m also glad that you have someone who is willing to protect you. That support can help so much.
    Thank you for confiding in us with your story. If you need resources/support, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. We’re here to support you. Continue to stay strong, and I hope you’re doing okay.

  11. kelly Day Captain

    Hi, Harmonizer334. I’m so sorry you went through that. I can’t imagine how scary that must have been. You are incredibly brave and strong for surviving what you went through and having the courage to leave him. I’m so glad you were able to tell your parents and call the police. Even if they can’t arrest him, it’s at least on file now. I know organizations like RAINN and others that we have in our Find Help section will provide resources to people in your position. It’s worth checking out. Please let us know if there’s anything we can do. We’re here for you.

  12. MH Volunteer

    Hey Harmonizer334,
    I am so sorry that this happened to you. You deserve so much better. Please take a look at our “Find Help” section to find resources that are in your area- it may be very helpful.
    Also know that we are here for you- to listen and support- if needed.
    Take care of yourself.
    MH

  13. Ryan4121 Volunteer

    Harmonizer,

    Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing your story. We believe you and are sorry to hear about the abuse you received. I agree with other comments in their suggestions; maybe it is best to seek a protective order against him and if you have any messages you can share with investigators, that is also helpful. Your parents seem sympathetic and from the limited, yet extremely powerful information you have provided, it seems your parents are supportive. I hope you feel comfortable speaking with them as they will hopefully be helpful. The love of a partner can come and go, but I hope, hop, hope your parents love will remain strong as you raise and keep the child safe. Finally, there are many sexual assault advocacy groups that could potentially help you press charges against this individual if you feel comfortable reaching out to them. Also, they may help provide you legal services as you potentially seek child support or whatever it may be. We are always hear for you and please update us on your situation. We will try to provide any support that we can.

    Ryan

  14. blashea

    Hi, I am so sorry that this happened to you. You did not deserve any of this. I am glad that you are safe now and that you have been able to distance yourself from him. I’m also glad that you found someone you can trust and who supports you. You are so strong and brave. Your daughter is going to be so lucky to have a role model like you. I am so proud of you. Thank you for trusting us with your story. Please let us know if there is anything that we can do to help you.

  15. Jade Volunteer

    It takes courage to reach out for support and share your story, thank you for opening up to us. What happened to you was not your fault and you didn’t deserve any of it. None of those people had any right to touch you. Your ex-boyfriend especially had no right to betray your trust and treat you the way he did. I’m glad to hear that you were able to get away from his abuse. I’m sorry to hear though there was not enough evidence against him to serve him justice. You don’t deserve to live your life in fear. You deserve to live a happy, stress-free life especially with your new boyfriend and baby on the way. It’s great to hear that your new boyfriend is supportive and wants to protect you and your child. As Erin pointed out, perhaps you could get a protective order? Whatever you decide, please don’t give up hope. Keep staying strong and pushing forward. And remember, we are always here for you.

  16. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    I am so sorry for what happened to you. You didn’t deserve this, and this wasn’t your fault. I’m glad your new partner and it seems like your parents are being supportive? But I’m sorry the police were not as helpful. Do you think you could ask them for a protective order, and show them the messages he’s been sending threatening you? I think you can at least get that, even if they can’t charge him. That way if he violates that, they could maybe charge him with violating that order. Let us know how else we can help you-we are here for you.

    Erin