Hey everyone, it’s Jamie.

In the last few days, my ex boyfriend unblocked me on social media and last night we were actually talking again. The love is still there and very strong, and we both still love each other immensely. My family and friends know I still care and love him despite the turmoil we both put each other through, and my heart is aching for another chance to make it right. It’s like nothing anyone can say can change my mind, and I’m optimistic and hopeful that maybe one day (not any time soon), we can try again. What’s there to lose when you’ve come to realize you can be just as toxic and are willing to change your ways? 

I’m just glad he doesn’t hate me and still feels just as strong as I do.


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35 comments

  1. Sammie101 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie,

    I definitely know what you are feeling, but trust me, do take it slow. If it was toxic before, there is a definite chance it could be toxic again and I want you in a safe and happy relationship without so much turmoil. Make sure changes are made in his behavior first, as friends, and see how it is around him. If there is a positive change, definitely give it a try, but be careful love. Whatever ends up working for you hopefully brings you endless happiness.

    Much love

  2. SydSquid Volunteer

    Hey Jamie,
    Definitely take it slow with this. If the relationship was toxic in the past you need to give them some time to see if they will actually change and if the relationship will be better the 2nd time around. I am glad to see that he unblocked you and that you guys are talking again. Maybe try to start as friends and see how you guys work together. Whatever happens I hope it works out for you!

  3. myazojo Volunteer

    Hey Jamie,

    Trusting your thoughts is a great first step. It seems like you were able to be friendly with them, which is a good sign in any sort of relationship rebuilding with a person. I understand not wanting to job back in because pain can still be there. I think looking at the situation in a calm and mature way, the way you have been by taking in slow is the best way to start a friendship again. I hope you both are able to grow, even if you don’t end up with him again.

    Feel free to come back and update us.

  4. Ashley Day Captain

    Hello Jamie Marie,

    It can be impossible to stop feeling love towards someone we love who has caused us harm. It sounds like you two were able to have a friendly conversation and that’s wonderful. I like the idea of not attempting to get into a relationship with him immediately; I encourage you to allow the friendship to grow and proceed from there.

    Ashley

  5. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi Jamie,
    I’m glad that you and your ex were able to talk. It’s a sign of maturity when we’re able to look at our behavior and see how it impacts the people around us. You can choose what to do from here. If you try again, I hope it works out and that you both will be able to grow. I especially hope – no matter what you decide – that you focus on your safety and health, trust your instincts, and take care of yourself.
    Thank you for the update. We’re here to support you, and you are strong.

  6. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear Jamie Marie,
    Thank you for coming back to update us. You sound optimistic about being able to talk to your ex about things you shared with us. Hopefully, this will bring you some resolution. Understanding and acknowledging the role that you held in the relationship is a sign of growth and maturity and can be healing in a relationship. None of us are in your relationship and really have no base to offer advice; however, we do all care for you and want to you to be happy and to remember to take care of yourself.
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  7. Turnschaosintoart Day Captain

    Hey Jamie
    Itnso hard to resist when a ex reaches out on social media. I understand you still love him and you both care about eachother. It is a difficult situation because of your past. It is good that you both seem to be on the same page and have grown. I hope it all works out just dont forget your saftey, your progress and your mental and what you deserve bc You deserve so much. I just want you to take care of you and be happy. Sending happy vibes
    Much love
    Kristin

  8. Samantha Harris Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    Thank you for continuing to share your story with us. I’m glad things are looking up right now. I just suggest you keep in mind what you went through before, and to avoid getting back to that point. If you can work things out and improve yourselves together, then that’s great. Just make sure that you’re keeping your safety and happiness as priorities. If you ever need anything, let us know. We’re always here for you.

  9. Brianna W Volunteer Volunteer

    Hey there,

    Thanks for giving us an update on your journey, I’m glad to hear things are starting to work out but just be aware you don’t want to end up back in the same toxic place you were before. You’re happiness matters don’t let anyone take that from you.

    -Brianna

  10. eagle206 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Welcome back, thank you for giving us an update on your journey. Glad to hear that you and your ex seem to be on the same page. You just want to be careful to make sure you don’t end up in the same toxic environment you were in previously. You want to make sure you both want to make things better on a mutual level. I hope that you can work through things with him and make things right but there is no reason to force it. Lots of fish in the sea and lots of people who will love and respect you.

    Stay strong,

    Tyler

  11. dzreid Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie!
    It sounds like you have made great strides in your healing. I think sometimes order for relationships to work, we need to focus on taking care of ourselves. It’s good that you are strong enough to see the changes. Continue to take care of yourself, & give yourself the space & time. I wish you the best. Come back & share any time.
    Dawn

  12. Marissa Day Captain

    Hi Jamie,

    Thanks for updating us! I’m glad you and your ex were able to talk through some things. Please remember to be gentle with yourself, though! As long as you remember to keep yourself safe and healthy, we completely support your decisions 🙂 Please let us know if there’s anything we can do for you!

    Marissa

  13. Sschwartzberg24 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie,

    Often we have to lose something or someone in order to find ourselves. Being able to notice the love is still there, yet not run to get back together shows you are seeing your great value.. I’m a big believer in timing and focusing on ourselves for a bit sometimes. We believe in you.

  14. sam Volunteer

    It sounds like you are doing well, growing, and trying to get to know yourself and your trauma better. That’s really healthy! You didn’t deserve anything you went through, but it’s good that you’re practicing self-awareness and learning from your past experiences. I hope you continue to stay strong and understand your self-worth, no matter what happens with your ex. We are always here for you!

  15. Stellablue Volunteer

    Jamie Marie,
    It’s good that you can recognize how the relationship was toxic. You seem to have grown and can acknowledge where the relationship went wrong. It is ok to still be in love with someone after you break up. The love for the other person vary rarely just goes away. If you two are in a healthy place and want to try again then you should follow your gut. Just remember to be safe and put yourself first. I’m glad you are feeling good!

  16. zoeyb

    It sounds like you have made a lot of growth. Regardless of whatever happens between you two in the future, you will always deserve to be happy and feel safe. Continue doing what’s best for you. We will always be here to listen and support you!

  17. Amysue43 Volunteer

    Coming to realize the contributions you have and can make in a relationship is crucial. You’ve made certain conclusions for the better which can help you in establishing a strong foundation. However, the realization of this may come at a different time for everyone and it can’t be forced. Perhaps, this guy hasn’t came to the same realizations that you have and feels that he needs to work on himself first. I think that for this situation, patience is key. It’s not easy to be patient but if you can come to this realization that you have, you definitely have the ability to do such.
    Stay strong <3

  18. Megan Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    That’s good that your ex doesn’t hate you and you still seem to get along well. It nice to be able to still have an amicable relationship after everything you’ve been through. As for what to do about him, I think it’s definitely hard to know and I can imagine you feel pretty conflicted right now. On the one hand you still love him, but on the other hand you know that your past relationship was toxic. I think in making this decision you should consider a couple things. Do you really believe that you both have changed and that if you were to pursue a relationship that it wouldn’t go back to being toxic? And also, if it becomes toxic would you be able to get out of the relationship?

    We are always here if you need us,
    Megan

  19. Lizzi

    Hey Jamie,
    I’m glad to hear that reconnecting with your ex has gone better than you imagined it would. It’s so tricky to decide what’s right, when you know things have been toxic in the past but emotions play a role. It sounds like you love him, but you also know how bad things have been in the past. Only you can decide what is best in your relationship, but know that we will be here and support you whatever you decide to do. People can change things about themselves, and troubled relationships can improve with work from both people. But at the same time, people don’t really change at the core. Keep us updated with what you decide, and I just hope that you’ll find happiness in whatever happens. You deserve to be happy.

  20. tbird830 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie,

    Thanks for reaching back out. I’m glad that you feel comfortable using us for support and sharing your story with us. We are a safe place and will never tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. You are the expert on your life and you know best. It sounds like you have some insight into your relationship and are able to recognize that you may have some work to do as well, which takes lot. We will be here for you through whatever comes next. Please reach back out if you need more support!

    -Tori

  21. Solongago Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I can’t comment much a relationships since I don’t have any experience, so wouldn’t know what I was talking about. But I want for you to know, that I care about you and hope that this works out the way you want for it to. It is a huge sign of maturity to understand that some of the problems there are might be what we do and not all the other person. And it sounds like these relationships have a lot to do with give and take, and seeing ourselves and the other clearly so we can make changes and at the same time not put up with too much stuff. It’s work. And it is a huge part and an important part of life. Take care and know that we are always here for you.

  22. Natalie M Day Captain

    Hi there,

    Thank you for trusting us with your thoughts and providing us with an update. We will support you whether you decide to pursue a relationship again or not. You know the situation best and you are very strong. Know we are here for you every step of the way.

    Stay strong,
    -Natalie

  23. jcas120 Volunteer

    Hello Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for coming by and it’s great to hear from you again. I hope you had a good week. You are a strong person and you know what’s best for you. You have come so far in your progress and there are no such thing as a backwards step in the healing process! It’s great to see that you’re feeling hopeful. We are here to support you any way we can. I hope you can come back again and share more updates with us!

  24. candyappleb Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for the update! You know yourself best. If you feel comfortable moving forward and repairing the relationship we support you. I encourage you to take things slowly. People can change and correct their behaviors, however it doesn’t mean change will happen over night and that there won’t be times when the toxic behaviors relapse. Move forward with whatever brings you peace. We’ll be standing by if you need anything.

    All the best,
    Becca

  25. Northlane1991 Volunteer

    Welcome back and thanks for giving us a update. Do what is best for you and if you feel safe and comfortable go for it. We are here for you friend and we care for you.

  26. KatherineL Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Welcome back and thanks for giving us an update. It’s great to see you’re feeling hopeful and happy. It seems like you’re approaching this a wiser person, and you know what is best for you. If you feel safe and comfortable moving forward with rebuilding a relationship, we support you. Please keep us updated as you’d like!

    KatherineL

  27. mocha1821 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie,

    Thanks for sharing. It’s great that you both are trying to improve and work things out. I would just recommend going slow. I hope things continue to look up for you.

  28. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I’m happy that you were able to talk to him and you are happy. Your happiness is all that matters. Just be safe and make sure that things are healthy if you get back together. Good luck. Thank you for updating us.
    -Alyssa

  29. colton95 Volunteer

    I think it’s great that both of you are trying to improve yourselves and give each other a second chance. I would recommend that both of you proceed with caution and prevent any further turmoil in this relationship. I really hope that both of you will be okay.

  30. sfmbelle413 Day Captain

    Hey there Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for sharing that update with us. I’m a firm believer that love conquers all. When someone is willing to change their ways, that says a lot about a person. Just be mindful to protect your heart and yourself. Taking things slow like you mentioned is a great idea. And we are here for you through this journey.

    Sending light,
    SFM

  31. rkr18 Volunteer

    Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for updating us. It sounds positive and I wish that everything will work out for you guys.
    -Marie

  32. musicislove

    Hi Jamie,

    Than you for coming back to share, I’m glad things are going well and that you’re feeling hopeful. I think making a plan with your therapist would be a great idea if you can get in to see them sometime soon. That way you can focus on how to grow the relationship into something healthy and good for both of you. I wish you so much luck, please come back whenever you want to share again.

    Delaney

  33. mikaylaanne11 Volunteer

    Hey again Jamie Marie,

    It seems like things are going well, and I hope that things work out for you! I agree with Erin that it might be beneficial for you to create a plan forward with a therapist so that the relationship doesn’t fall back into toxic tenancies again. It might also be a good idea to suggest this to your ex, as well. Keep us posted, and come back any time you want to share!

  34. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    Thanks for coming back to share with us. I hope you are doing well. Are you still seeing a therapist? They may be able to help with seeing a path forward.

    Erin

    1. Jamie Marie Volunteer

      I’ve yet to see my therapist, but maybe with medical assistance I can afford it.