Was this rape? Part 2

Was this rape? Part 2

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After reading everyone’s remarks and doing my own research, I would classify what happened to me as a sexual assault. Leading up to this event, this guy treated me like a queen – opened doors, pulled out chairs, held my hand, texted me regularly, etc. I know now that this was all an act to get me to sleep with him.  He started bread-crumbing me the next day and within a few days had completely cut off all communication. Originally, he stated very clearly that he was looking for a relationship, but after we had sex, suddenly his kids being off for the summer took up too much of his time for a relationship to be possible. This man may not be a rapist, but he is a despicable human being and I feel incredibly stupid for believing the charade that he put on. He manipulated me and took advantage of me.  I absolutely hate him for what he did.


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13 comments

  1. Megan Volunteer

    Hey rosebud,

    It’s not fair that he treated you like that. You deserve better. But you shouldn’t feel stupid for believing it. People like that do this a lot and they’re good at doing manipulating people. It’s unlikely that anyone would have noticed what he was doing until after the fact. Don’t feel bad that you chose to believe in the good in people. That’s a good quality. You have every right to be mad that he took advantage of that. Stay strong. You’re amazing.

    Much love,
    Megan

  2. mkyuellig

    Hi Rosebud,

    I’m so sorry that this man took advantage of you and manipulated you. You shouldn’t feel stupid though. People like that are master manipulators and they thrive off of kind people who trust and expect the best out of people. You have every right to be angry at the person who hurt you. Please feel free to keep us update as you process.

    Stay strong and be gentle with yourself,
    Keight

  3. Graciegrace22

    I am so sorry what you went through must be emotionally overwhelming. It seems like a lot of feelings were built up over the time and trust was majorly broken. I hope that you are able to heal and move past this. Best of luck to you.

  4. Lizzi

    Hey Rosebud,
    I’m so sorry that he put on an act to get you to sleep with him. That makes me so angry that he’d treat you so great just to get what he wanted and then leave you. Those excuses are literally just that… excuses. i’m sorry that he assaulted you, manipulated you, and just left. But you are better off without him in your life. I hope that you’re able to heal from this situation, and we’re here for you if there’s anything we can do to help and support you through this time.

    Much hope,
    Lizzi

  5. candyappleb Volunteer

    Hi rosebud,

    I am so sorry to hear this happened to you. I’m angry on your behalf as well. You don’t deserve to be treated that way at all. You are an amazing person. Is there anything else we can do for you? Please feel free to reach out anytime. We’re here for you!

    All the best,
    Becca

  6. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi rosebud,
    I’m really sorry that he took advantage of you. I hate that he put up an act to get what he wanted, and he is despicable. You’re not at fault for this, not in the slightest, and you’re not stupid. He took advantage of your trust and kindness. He’s entirely at fault, and you don’t deserve to be treated this way. I completely understand the anger and hatred, and you have every right to feel that way. I’ve been there, and it’s so hard to cope when someone manipulates us. I would recommend taking some time to yourself to process how you’re feeling and to relax. It can help when we’re dealing with intense emotions.
    Thank you for updating us. We’re glad to listen and respond, and we’re here to support you. Please be kind to yourself. You’re strong, and you’ve got this.

  7. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi rosebud,
    I’m sorry that he did this to you. You deserve better. What he did, like you said is despicable and unforgivable. I know what you are going through is so hard, but we are here for you. If you need anything let us know so we can help you as much as we can. Thank you for updating us and I’m happy we can help.
    -Alyssa

  8. Marissa Day Captain

    Hi rosebud,

    I read both of your posts but I’m just going to consolidate a response into one comment. First, thank you for sharing your story with us. I’m so sorry he took advantage of you like that. I agree with you that it was sexual assault and that he is totally despicable. Being manipulated is so hard to deal with, speaking from experience. I want you to know that you’re not stupid for believing that he was a good guy. It’s dangerous to assume the worst in people, but in this day in age, it’s hard not to. I definitely wouldn’t blame you if you were more reserved after what happened to you, because I know I would be.

    My best advice for you is to take care of yourself. Speaking to a therapist might be helpful, if you can. Please don’t push yourself though. That won’t be helpful in healing. If you don’t feel comfortable with speaking to someone, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us again. We’re here to help you however we can. Remember, we support you 100%.

    Stay strong. You’re doing an amazing job.

    Marissa

  9. Jess Volunteer

    I am so sorry that this man manipulated you. You cared for him and trusted him. He took advantage of that trust. You did not deserve what he did to you. You have every right to be angry. Try not to feel like your stupid though. This man earned your trust and then yanked it away – that is no fault of your own. Take some time for self-care and please reach out if you need anything else from us. We are always here and we believe you. Stay strong and keep fighting. <3
    -Jess

  10. CarmenR Volunteer

    Hi there,

    I am so sorry for what happened to you. You are not to blame, and you are not stupid. You cared for him, and hence you trusted him. He took advantage of your kindness and that is not your fault. I am so sorry he treated you the way that he did. Please know that we are here for you and we support you. Stay strong.

    Carmen

  11. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear rosebud,
    I am so sorry that he did this you but you must remember that you didn’t do anything wrong. You weren’t “stupid”; you were in a relationship with someone that you thought cared about you. Be sure to take care of yourself and reach out for help if you need it.
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  12. Julia Mandel Day Captain

    Thank you for reaching out again. You have every right to be angry; what he did was terrible and no one deserves to be treated that way ever. Is there anything we can do to support you further? We are always here for you; stay strong <3

  13. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    You don’t have to feel stupid-none of this was your fault. He took advantage of you, and that is not okay. That’s completely on him, not on you. Is there anything else we can do to support you? Let us know-we are here for you.

    Erin