Well, this month has been extremely emotional.
First off, I had to put my beautiful cat, Milo, to sleep on Monday due to old age, cancer & kidney failure (it’s a miracle he lasted this long since his diagnosis) so I’ve been extremely depressed.
But on the other hand, I finally told my health care provider about the rape, and the flashbacks that Jesse set off back in March, so I do feel a bit more calm knowing my therapist and doctor are aware. But, this means I’ll have to go on disability for a while since the PTSD is bad.
I want to be able to work and manage a life without this stigma and medication, but I guess that’s asking too much…

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  1. Jacqui

    Hi JamieMarie25,
    I can relate to what you are feeling. I’ve had a bad episode of depression and anxiety, and realizing that I’m not as better as I thought I was.. is hard to deal with sometimes. But, remember how important self care is. The table can’t do it’s job if one of the leg’s is broken.

  2. Ashley Day Captain


    I’m sorry for your loss. Losing an animal that means the world to us can be heartbreaking. I’m proud of you for confiding in your healthcare provider. Wanting to live a typical life isn’t too much to ask for, I promise. Going on disability doesn’t mean that you’re less than; you’re capable of living a productive life. Right now, I’m thinking taking care of yourself might be best.

    I’m sending love your way <3

  3. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi JamieMarie25,
    I am terribly sorry about your cat. Pets are part of the family and they can be great companions, and it can be so difficult to lose a pet.
    However, I’m proud of you for telling your health care provider about what happened to you. Telling people about what happened can be indescribably difficult to do. Also, your therapist and doctor can help you heal.
    You’re not asking for too much, and having to take medication to help you feel okay is not a bad thing. In fact, it’s good because it’s one way to take care of your mental health. You’re taking your health into your own hands, which is amazing.
    Thank you for updating us. I know you will be able to heal. We’re here for you.

  4. sickpiecexo

    i am so sorry about your cat. i know how hard that must have been for you. losing a pet is never easy. you are so brave for coming forward and sharing your story here and also telling your therapist and doctor. just know none of what you have said is asking to much. it is your life. it will get better over time. you are not alone. and just know we are always here for you<3

  5. Kristen Eby

    Hey JamieMarie25,

    I’m so terribly sorry to hear about Milo. I lost my childhood cat a couple years ago, and it was one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever had. I have two cats now, and they are, frankly, my best friends. I understand how hard this is.

    I’m proud of you for telling your HCP about your past and glad they’re helping you cope. I know you want to live a normal life without the pain and difficulty that comes with rape…it just isn’t fair. You shouldn’t be the one to suffer from someone else’s crime. But Jamie, it isn’t asking too much. You deserve it! And in time, I promise, it will get better. You will be able to heal from this. And if you are on medication for some time, that’s okay! I have been on antidepressants for over a decade, and I used to wish I could just live a typical life without them – but the truth is I can’t. And that’s alright. It’s no different than a diabetic who needs insulin. Some people need an extra boost for their mental health, just like some need a boost for their physical.

    I hope coming here helps you, and I hope we offer some support. We’re always happy to hear from you, and we’re proud of you. You got this!


  6. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi JamieMarie25,
    I’m so sorry about your cat. He is in a better place where he isn’t suffering. However, telling your health care provider is great. I know it sucks that you have to take disability leave, but it is for the best. Working on your mental health is something that you have to put first so you can go back to work. Dealing with PTSD is super hard and can take a lot of patience. You can make it through this and will go back to work soon.
    Keep your head up and continue to stay strong. It’s good to hear back from you.

  7. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear JamieMarie25,
    Thank you keeping us updated. I’m sorry about your cat, our pets are family. It is good that your doctor and therapist are on the same page so that they are able to give you the best care possible. There is no shame to taking medication to help you be healthy and strong. Please come back and chat with us as often as you need. Giving you a big hug for Milo.
    Sending you love and strength,

  8. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    You don’t have to feel ashamed for taking medication. Many people do, thousands of people do. to deal with the mental health affects of trauma each and every day. You are strong for taking charge in your recovery to disclose to your health care provider what happened to you-that takes a lot of courage. I’m glad that both your therapist and doctor are aware, and can keep helping you fight and push. I am so sorry to hear about your cat 🙁 Putting down a pet is never easy, especially a kitty cat that I’m sure has been there for you through so much. Keep filling us in on how your recovery is going-we are here for you to support you.