Stepfather

Ever since I was young I was abused by my father. My mom divorced him and we moved away. A couple years later She got married. I always felt off about him he always stared at me. One time  He touched me he said it was an accident. An after noon i was going to go to my besties house and as I was leaving ( my mom was at work ) he asked me where I was going I said to a friends house. He walked towards me and he got so close I could smell the achohol on his breath and he grabbed me and said that I was going nowhere. He said I needed to please him. I told him no and he hit me and shoved me against the wall and raped me.  He did that almost ever night  I never told anyone anything not even my mom and I started to wake up screaming in the middle of the night. I still have nightmares till this day.


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19 comments

  1. jamie.lynn Volunteer

    Camilacabello979,
    First of all, thank you for trusting us with your story. These things are never easy to share and I hope you know that we are here for you!! I am so sorry that this happened to you! You certainly didn’t deserve any of this and I am sorry you never felt you could tell anyone. Have you thought of trying to find someone locally to speak to about all of this? It can be beneficial to work though some of your thoughts and feelings with a professional. We also have a lot of resources available on our site that may be helpful to you, too! Please know we hear you and are here for you along your journey!

    -jamie

  2. alexcostello Volunteer

    Hi there Camilacabello979,
    I am so sorry to hear that this has happened to you, and that you have been betrayed by people that you should be able to trust. I do want to say thank you for sharing with us. It was an incredibly brave thing to do and I do hope it has offered some healing in your heart. I used to really struggle with nightmares as well and they can be so terrifying and vivid. Would you want to maybe talk to some about what has happened and a way to manage the nightmares? I started a little nighttime routine to try to kind of keep the nightmares at bay, just a few self care activities that kind of relaxed me and got me super tired before bed which made the nightmares less likely. Please keep us updated, sending love and light your way

  3. Gamato04 Volunteer

    I’m so sorry this happened. Does this still go on? Do you see him? Do you think telling your mom would help? You are so brave for sharing your story and I hope you the best. Nightmares can be scarring but you have made it so far in being able to write what happened. Please give updates.

  4. Ashley Day Captain

    Hello Camilacabello979,

    Thank you for making the courageous decision to share your story with our community.
    You have the right to be treated with respect. It’s not okay that your mom’s husband placed his hands on you.
    I can only imagine how heartbreaking and painful it must feel to carry such a heavy secret. Who do you currently live with?

    I believe you. If you don’t want to share your story with anyone else, please know that’s okay. We have your back.

  5. Marissa Volunteer

    Hey Camilacabello979,

    Thanks for sharing your story with us. I’m really sorry to hear that you were treated so badly by people that were supposed to protect you. You’re stronger than you know. Is there anything we can do to help you? Are you safe? Please let us know if we can help at all.

    Stay strong <3

  6. Thomas Volunteer

    Hi Camilacabello979,

    I am so sorry that this happened to you. You did not deserve this and none of this is your fault. It must challenging to keep this all bottled up, but you are not alone. We believe you. We support you. We are here for you. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. Are you safe now or is this still happening? Do you have people who you could reach out to? I know that might seem scary and it is only something you should do if you are comfortable, but it could be beneficial to reach out to either a person you trust or a counselor. Everyone heals differently though and everyone’s situation is different. So no pressure! Please let us know how else we can help. We also have resources you can access here under our “Find Help” tab. We are here for you.

    Thomas

  7. Zoe Volunteer

    I am so sorry for what happened to you. I know how difficult it must be keeping something like this to yourself. But please know that you’re not alone. We’re here for you, and we believe you.

    Have you considered talking about this with someone you trust? I know how scary it is, and it is completely your decision. But it is really helpful to have some kind of support system, especially as it affects you more intensely. Speaking to someone like a counselor might also be helpful for you, if that’s something you’d ever want to do. Under our “Find Help” tab, you can find local resources, or you can look up local counseling services at rainn.org. Again, that is totally up to you, but it might be beneficial for you if you’d like to work through these things with someone.

    Thank you for trusting us with your story. Please let us know if there are any ways we can be of more help to you. You don’t have to face this alone.

    Zoe.

  8. blashea

    Hi, I am so sorry that this happened to you. You are so strong and brave. Thank you for trusting us with your story. We are so proud of you. I hope that you are safe from him now and I hope that if you ever decide to tell your mother that she’s understanding and supportive. You can always talk to us and you can text VOICE to 741-741 to be connected with a counselor anonymously. Please let us know if there is anything that we can do to help.

  9. SAF Volunteer

    Hi Camilacabello979,
    Thank you for sharing your story with us. I’m so sorry that this happened to you. None of it was your fault and you deserve to heal. Talking through what happened and the feelings surrounding it can help work through them. Finding a counselor might help with that, our Find Help page is a great tool if you need somewhere to start. Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help.
    Stay Strong,
    Stella

  10. Jess Volunteer

    I am so sorry that this happened to you. You didn’t deserve anything either of those men did to you, you father included. Are you safe from the man your mother married later? What he did was incredibly wrong. He took advantage of you and it shouldn’t have happened.
    I’m so sorry to hear that you still have nightmares. Have you sought help from a therapist/counselor? They would be able to help you work through the nightmares and help you heal from your trauma. If that isn’t appealing to you, there are a lot of resources to be found online about dealing with anxiety and waking up from nightmares. Deep breathing and orienting yourself to reality could be beneficial. I would look up those things and work through different exercises until you found something that might work to at least help you cope when you do wake up from a nightmare.
    Thank you for sharing your story with us. It had to be incredibly hard to open up and share what you’ve been through, and it shows how strong you are. It’s an incredible first step to healing! If you need any help finding your next step, please feel free to ask. We are always here for you and will help in whatever way we can. You are so strong and incredibly brave for sharing your story! I hope that you felt a little better after sharing. If there’s anything else we can do, let us know.
    Sending healing thoughts your way,
    -Jess

  11. MH Volunteer

    Hey Camilacabello979,
    I am so sorry that this happened to you. You did not do anything to deserve this. It must have been very scary growing up in the same home as him. Have you thought about seeking help from professionals? Please take a look at the “FIND HELP” section and check out the resources available in your area. They could assist you with the nightmares.

  12. music2799 Volunteer

    Hi Camilacabello979,
    I’m really sorry about what you’ve been through. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way, and it wasn’t your fault. What he did was so wrong and unacceptable, and he had no right to do what he did.
    I’m also really sorry that you’ve been having nightmares. Do you have any ways to calm yourself down after the nightmares, such as deep breathing, etc.? That could help you cope. If you feel comfortable, maybe you could talk to a professional and figure out how to cope with the nightmares.
    Thank you for confiding in us with your story. We’re proud of you for sharing – that can be very difficult. It’s okay that you didn’t tell anyone. You can tell your story at your own pace. If you ever need anything, we’ll be here for you. You’re not alone, and you can make it through this.

  13. Julia Mandel Day Captain

    Thank you for sharing with us. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Are you safe from him now? Have you tried to speak to a therapist to help with coping mechanisms for the nightmares? We are always here for you; please let us know how we can help <3

  14. nicolegorman Volunteer

    Camilacabello979,

    I’m so sorry that you had to go through this abuse. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way by someone who is supposed to protect you and make you feel safe. I can’t even imagine the effects that this still has on you. I’m proud of you for find the courage to share your story with us here. Have you considered talking to someone else, like a counselor, that might be able to help you process this? Also, your mother took you away from your first abuser, have you ever considered telling her about your stepfather as well? She may be able to help you again. Regardless of how you choose to express these traumas, this community will always be here to listen to what you have to say and help you.

  15. Jade Volunteer

    It takes courage to reach out and share your story. Thank you for trusting us with that. I’m so sorry for everything you’ve gone through. You didn’t deserve any of it. You didn’t deserve any of what that man did to you. He had no right to touch you. You deserve to always be in control of your own body and to always have a say. You’ve shown so much strength by continuing to push on, so please don’t ever give up. Keep on fighting and staying strong. We are always here for you.

  16. Deanna Volunteer

    Hi camilacabello979-

    Thanks for sharing your story, I’m so sorry about what you went through, it wasn’t your fault. Are you safe now? Did you ever want to and/or pursue counseling or therapy? I saw a new psychiatrist today and he told me that the heavy lifting of recovering from trauma like that is done in therapy. He recommended going to a bookstore and seeing if any self help books jump out at you. So, I wanted to pass that along 😊
    We can help point you toward some resources if you need them.

    How did you feel after sharing your story? Did it help writing it out? That was a very strong first step you took. I hope you keep going and those nightmares stop for you.

    -Deanna

  17. sfmbelle413

    Hey there Camilacabello979,

    Thank you for sharing your story. It’s okay to still have nightmares to this day. It’s okay you haven’t told anyone. It’s brave of you to share your story here. There’s no set timeline for when you need to share your story anywhere else. We all process things in our own ways. Are there any positive things you currently do to help you through those nightmares? If you ever need to talk to anyone immediately, our friends at Crisis Text Line are there for you 24/7. You can reach them by texting VOICE to 741-741.

    Sending light and positivity,
    SFM

  18. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    I am so sorry for what you have been through. You didn’t deserve any of this, and none of this was your fault. Are you safe from him now? Is there someone else in your family, or maybe friends you could reach out to to share? Let us know how to help you further-we are here for you.

    Erin

    1. Camilacabello979

      I still love with him and I’m gone most of the time and I’m planning on moving out with my bf