Someone I Knew and Trusted for Years

Someone I Knew and Trusted for Years

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It was a Monday in April and I was stuck at home sick instead of being at school. I also had a broken ankle at the time so I was planning on staying in bed all day except to grab some food for lunch. It was also extremely hot that week so I was only wearing a bra and panties all day. Some time after I woke up I took a snap of myself that was saying I was sick and wouldn’t be at school. The pic itself was angled a bit lower than I’d normally do, but I was only going to send it to close friends. Well me, not thinking fully through, sent it to everyone, my mind slipping up I guess thinking I was sending my streaks to everyone on my list. My phone went off all throughout the day giving me notifications that someone had screenshotted it, just about every screenshot being from a guy I had streaks with. Was definitely not a great day for me, although the amount of sleep I got was really good. I was only really sick in the morning, later in the afternoon I was for the most part fine.

School gets out at 3, I wasn’t paying attention to time but I knew I wouldn’t be hearing anything until at least 6 when my parents got off work. I didn’t expect or hear from anyone that said they would come over, but when I heard the back door open I was super confused. I knew it was someone that I would know because the key is hidden in a pretty weird spot. I heard whoever it close the door and walk towards my door and knock lightly. I asked ‘Who is it?’ and the door opened and I saw my neighbor who went to the same school as me. I wasn’t too surprised as we had been friends for a long time and he has been helping me out at school because of my broken ankle. He’s seen me in similar clothing before so I didn’t think to try and cover up or anything. I also remembered he was one of the ones who screenshotted the pic from earlier so there was no point. He sat back on my bed perpendicular to me with his legs hanging off and asked me how I was feeling while rubbing my foot. We talked for a few minutes, just talking about what happened at school and the work I missed.

At one point as conversation slowed, I noticed he looked deep in thought and kind of nervous, so I asked him what was up. He basically ended up saying that his friends that didn’t go to our school found me and thought I looked good and he ended up telling them that he knows me, and that they wanted him to find out my bra size. He was super embarrassed after saying this and I was personally shocked. It didn’t really bother me though. So I told him my bra size was a 34F and to tell his friends that I’m taken. He went wide-eyed as soon as I told him my bra size. Everyone knew I had a massive chest, it really showed because of my slim body size, but I guess hearing the actual size took him by surprise. He said something along the lines of “Really? That’s massive.” I responded to him by saying, well they are pretty big, while cupping my chest and jokingly bouncing my boobs. His eyes did not leave my chest. He randomly asked if he could see them. It didn’t really surprise me, but I didn’t immediately give an answer. I wanted to take a moment to think before doing anything. I’ve known him for so many years and I do trust him, I also knew where his phone was so nothing sneaky was going to happen. I slightly sat up and reached behind me and undid my bra. I layed back, leaving the bra sitting over my breasts, and told him that if he wanted to see to go ahead.

He moved from the foot of my bed up to the front and kneeled over me. He slowly reached towards me and lifted my bra off, exposing my bare breasts. He just said “wow” and “they’re incredible” while staring. I just giggled as I watched him stare at my chest. Then all of a sudden he planted both hands on my chest and began to grope my breasts. I immediately told him to stop and to get off and tried to push him off but he was stronger and he wasn’t stopping. He got up to sit different and straddled my stomach. I kept hitting him and trying to push him away so he used one hand to pin both of my hands behind me and continued to grope me using the other. He kept groping me and pinching my nipples despite my begging him to stop. At one point he planted his mouth on my nipple, licking, sucking, and nibbling on it. Not long after his free hand left my tit and traveled down my stomach into my panties. His fingers ran along my vagina up and down until he inserted a finger. After a few minutes of fingering me, his mouth left my tit his hand left my panties and he got up, unpinning my hands in the process. He moved to my legs and began to pull down my panties. I started kicking at him but he immediately held my leg down and took advantage of me being ticklish by tickling my foot with one hand and pinning that leg down with his knee and using his other hand to pull my panties all the way off. Without hesitation he pulled his pants down, spread my legs, and penetrated me. I did not ever think that that is how I would lose my virginity but that’s what happened. He continued to fuck me, occasionally reaching forward to grope me, sometimes just slapping my tits. After a few minutes he suddenly stopped and moved forward over me. Using his knees he pinned my hands down and grabbed the side of my tits with his hands, using my chest to give himself a titjob. He fucked my tits until he came on my chest and face. He went to the bathroom and came back cleaning me off. He tossed my bra back on to my chest and put my panties back on me.

The worst outcome of all of this was the trust issues I’ve had. It’s been hard trusting people, even my closest friends. It’s been hard making new friends and beginning to trust them. I’ve gotten better at that but I’m not like I used to be. I won’t ever be able to be the same but I have come a long way since it happened and I am proud of myself for that.


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26 comments

  1. Natalie M Day Captain

    Hi there,

    I am so sorry that this happened to you! It is not okay that your friend would betray your trust in the way that he did. It was obvious that you trusted him and he took advantage of that. What happened was NOT your fault! You are always able to say stop and your friend should have respected that and listened to you. I am sorry that he didn’t. I’m glad you feel that you have gotten better since this has happened, but know you are on a journey to being okay. It takes time. What happened does not define who you are and it does not change you. You are still the same amazing girl you were before this! You are so strong and I know you can get through this ! We are on your side and we are here for you!!

    Sending love and hope,
    Natalie

  2. Lizzi G Volunteer

    Hi harleyrr,
    I’m so sorry for what he did to you. It’s awful that he betrayed your friendship in such a horrible way. You trusted him and he took advantage of that, and advantage of you being injured and unable to fight back like you normally could. What he did to you was not your fault and I hope you know that. I hope that you can find someone in your life that you can talk to about this and get help if you need it.

    Much hope,
    Lizzi

  3. Marissa Day Captain

    Hi harleyrr,

    Thanks for sharing your story with us. I’m so sorry your “friend” took advantage of you like that. Especially since you literally could not move due to your ankle. That’s honestly so gross on his part, and I hope you know that just because you sent that picture to people, that doesn’t give anyone the right to your body. Just because you showed him your breasts, that doesn’t mean he had permission to touch them, or do anything else, for that matter.

    Your feelings and trust issues are totally and completely valid. I’m proud of you for finding it in yourself to learn to trust again, even if it takes a long time. And you should be proud of yourself too!

    Please don’t hesitate to post again if you need anything. We’re here for you, and we support you no matter what.

    Marissa

  4. Hhobby23

    I am so sorry this happened to you with all my heart. But know this you are special and strong. You told your story which is not easy and that makes you amazing.

  5. eagle206 Volunteer

    Hi Harleyrr,

    Thank you for coming here and sharing your story with us. I am so sorry that these things happened to you. It’s hard that such a small mistake like sending a snap to the wrong person can become such a big deal. Your neighbor should have listened when you said stop. I am so sorry that this happened with someone that you used to trust. I am proud that you have come a long way since what happened. You are very strong. We are all here for you if you want to post updates to your story. Hang in there.

    Tyler

  6. Jordan L Volunteer

    Hey there,
    Thank you for trusting us and sharing your story with us.
    I am so sorry this happened to you. This is not your fault, this is his fault. He took advantage of you. You trusted him and he betrayed you. I want to let you know that he can’t take something you cherish like your virginity, only you have the right to give it away to someone special. In a way, I believe you still are a virgin.
    Have you told anyone such as your parents or a trusted adult about this? if not, I would start there then transition into therapy (if you would like). I know therapy has been beneficial to me. Going through a process like this, having a support system is very helpful. Having someone to lean on when times are too hard alone. I know trust is going to be hard for a while but being able to confide in someone with this will help so much.
    You are so strong and brave.
    We are AVFTI are here for you. We support you. We believe you.
    -Jordan

  7. CarmenR Volunteer

    Hi there,

    I am so sorry that this happened to you. Please know that it was not your fault, and you are not to blame. It was not okay for hm to take advantage of you, especially since you knew him and trusted him. Have you told any of your friends or family about what happened? Sometimes having that support can really help, or if you think it’s right for you, therapy is always a good option. You are so incredibly strong. Thank you for trusting us with your story and sharing with us. We are here for you.

    Carmen

  8. Brianna W Volunteer Volunteer

    I’m so sorry to hear this. Absolutely none of this was your fault and it was not okay for him to take advantage of you at all. Thank you for sharing your story with us, it takes a lot of strength and courage, know we are here for you and believe in you.

    -Brianna

  9. Amysue43 Volunteer

    I’m so sorry that this happened to you. This is not at all okay for him to take advantage of you like that. You persistently said no and it’s definitely frustrating to hear that he disregarded you. One thing is for sure, this was NOT your fault. I’m glad that you found comfort in sharing this story with us. We are here to support you and hope that our comments are reassuring to you.

    Stay strong!

  10. Edjay Volunteer

    Hi harleyrr,

    What happened to you was terrible. It’s awful that someone you trusted did that to you. Please know that what happened was not your fault at all. It’s completely understandable to have trouble trusting others after being betrayed by someone you trusted. You have come a long way and that is definitely something to be proud of. Please let us know if there’s anything you need. Please don’t hesitate in reaching out again in the future. Take care.

  11. candyappleb Volunteer

    Hi Harleyrr,

    I’m sorry that you went through that experience, and I’m sorry that this boy took advantage of your trust. Remember, it was never your fault. You clearly asked him to stop and he chose not to. It doesn’t matter what you were wearing, or how much he had seen in pictures or otherwise. Please feel free to post anytime you need to. We’re here for you. Take care,
    Becca

  12. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi harleyrr,
    I’m so sorry this happened. You trusted him and he took advantage of you. That is not okay. Have you told anyone about this? If you haven’t I would try to talk to someone. If you don’t feel comfortable talking about it, thats okay too. We are here for you. If you need anything let us know. Thank you for trust and sharing your story with AVFTI.
    -Alyssa

  13. Thomas Volunteer

    Hi harleyrr,

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am so sorry that this happened to you. None of this was your fault, you didn’t deserve any of it. You deserve to treated with compassion and respect. It’s okay to have trust issues. It is up to you decide at what pace you decide to trust or not to trust someone. It is okay to protect yourself. Overtime, you’re openness to trust others with grow and you will be able to figure out who to trust, how, and when. It’s a process and that’s okay! You should be proud of yourself and you have come a long way. Progress is not a straight line, there are twists and turns. And that’s absolutely okay. Stay strong. You can do this. Please let us know if there is anything else we can do to help.

    Thomas

  14. Jess Volunteer

    I am so sorry this happened to you. You absolutely did not deserve for any of it to happen. Those guys should never have taken screenshots of that photo and your neighbor should not have done what he did. You told him to stop, and he should have. Absolutely none of this is your fault and I’m so sorry these guys took advantage of you in such a vulnerable time.

    I’m glad to hear that you’re doing better. It’s completely normal to have issues trusting people. Therapy is a route you can explore, if you would like. I’ve also found that support groups are incredibly helpful in learning how to trust others again, because you’re surrounded by people who have been through similar things. If you need access to any of that, there are lots of resources on our website.

    Thank you for trusting us with your story. If you need anything else at all, please reach out. We are always here and we believe you. Stay strong and keep fighting. <3
    -Jess

  15. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi harleyrr,
    I’m really sorry that this happened to you. Those guys should not have taken screenshots, and that person should not have done what he did. He should have gotten the message the second you told him to stop. You are not at fault here, and you didn’t deserve this at all.
    Having difficulties with trusting people after an assault is normal and very understandable. It can take time to reach a point in which you feel ready to trust again. It’s also nonlinear, which means that you may feel ready to trust on one day and not ready on other days, and that’s okay.
    I’m glad that you’re doing better now, that you’re proud of yourself, and that you’re acknowledging that you’ve come a long way. It sounds like you’re doing well at practicing self compassion based on these things. That’s a great skill to keep practicing.
    Thank you for confiding in us with your story. You overcame the trust issues to share here, and that’s incredible! I hope that sharing is helping you process how you feel about everything. We’ll always be here if you need anything, so please reach out if you would like to. You can get through this!

  16. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear harleyrr,
    Thank you for trusting us with your story. It takes a lot of courage to tell others about something so painful. I am very sorry that this happened to you. It is normal to have difficulty trusting others after this type of experience; they key is finding a way to heal. I hope that telling your story here in a safe place and trusting all of us to support you will begin that healing process for you. We have an array of support available in our Find Help tab and we are always here to listen, so please feel free to come back and write to us as often as you would like.
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  17. blashea

    Hi, I am so sorry to hear that happened to you. He shouldn’t have taken advantage of you or your trust. I am so proud of you for sharing your story with us and for the progress you are making. You are so strong. It is completely understandable and common to experience difficulties trusting individuals when trying to heal from trauma. I hope that your friends are understanding and supportive. We are all here for you and hope that things continue to improve for you. Please never hesitate to reach out if you need anything!

  18. Kailey2298 Volunteer

    Hi Harleyrr.
    I’m so sorry to hear you had to go through this. What he did is so wrong and is in no way your fault. How your feeling is completely valid and understandable. When someone you trust breaks it and hurts you like that its totally normal to be scared of trusting again. Have you talked to anyone about what happened? Friends, family or a therapist? Talking about what happened can help work through it. You are strong and brave don’t forget that. Thank you so much for trusting us with your story! If we can help you in any way please let us know!
    Kailey

  19. Ryan4121 Volunteer

    Harleyrr,

    I am so sorry this happened to you. We are happy you came to us with your story and proud of you for telling us. I agree with the other comments…your feelings are extremely valid. What happened to you was wrong and you didn’t deserve that. But I can tel you are so strong. I am proud of how far you come and hope you will keep coming back to us. We are always here for you.

    Ryan

  20. daisychains8891 Volunteer

    Harleyrr,
    I’m so so sorry to hear about what happened to you. You did not deserve that in any sort of way and your feelings afterward are totally valid. Trusting someone after that can be really difficult. I’m so happy to hear you say you’re proud of yourself for how far you’ve come, that’s a really hard thing for some people to do. And we are all so proud of you and here for you. Please continue reaching out to us, you’re so strong and so brave.
    All my love and support,
    Leah

  21. andyspringer Volunteer

    harleyrr,

    I am sorry to hear this happened to you. It was wrong and no one deserves that. Please understand that none of it was your fault- I know that can be difficult mixing trust issues with a mistake and considering all that transpired- but that doesn’t merit being taken advantage of. If you feel comfortable, I highly recommend confiding in a close friend or perhaps a school counselor as they may be able to provide guidance on what to do next and how to help your healing journey. Additionally, we are all here to help you, believe and support you in any capacity you may need.

    Warmest regards,

    Andy

  22. Deanna Volunteer

    Hi harleyrr,

    Thanks for sharing your story, it takes a lot to share such personal memories. What happened to you was wrong and he had no right to do those things to you nor did any of the guys have a right to save your snap. Everyone makes mistakes. I understand how it feels to have trust issues. Have you tried opening up to people you know you can count on? Maybe a counselor at school? Everyone here supports you.

    Deanna

  23. Brianna W Volunteer Volunteer

    I am so sorry that this happened to you. You are so strong and brave, It takes a lot of courage to tell you story. Have you told any of your friends? How did they respond? Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help, we will always be here. Stay strong and keep up your fight. Know we will always be here for you.

    -Brianna

  24. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    I am so sorry for what happened to you. You didn’t deserve this, and this wasn’t your fault. Have you been able to tell your friends about what happened? Have they been supportive? Let us know what else we can do to help you-we are here for you.

    Erin

  25. Megan Volunteer

    Hey harleyrr,

    I’m so sorry that this happened to you. It’s not fair and you deserve so much better treatment. Having trust issues after something like this is normal. You think you know someone and then they do something like this and you no longer trust your own judgement. It’ll definitely take some working through but I believe that you can get past this. I’m so happy that you’re doing better now though! You should be so proud!

    Thank you for sharing your story with us,
    Megan

  26. Julia Mandel Day Captain

    Hi, harleyrr,
    I am so sorry that this happened to you. You clearly told him to stop and the fact that he didn’t listen is a terrible thing. Having trust issues is a very normal reaction to what you went through. I am glad to hear you are doing better now; you should definitely be proud of yourself for that! Please let us know if we can do anything to support you further. Thank you for being brave and sharing your story with us, and showing others that healing is possible. <3