Some days are better than others

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Life with CPTSD is an ongoing battle. 

There are days where I feel I’m on cloud-9 and can take on the world and that I have nothing left to fear.

Then there are days where it feels the trauma just happened yesterday and I plead and cry and beg God to take my pain away. All I know is, some day maybe it won’t hurt as much and it’ll be nothing but a distant memory.

Gotta keep troopin’ I suppose, right? 


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28 comments

  1. lizzi

    Hey Jamie Marie,
    I’m so sorry to hear that you’re having such a hard time. Healing doesn’t happen in a perfectly straight line. Some days will be good and some won’t, and things may get better and then worse again before they get better. It’s all very frustrating and can sometimes make people feel like it’s never going to be okay again. I believe in you, and I’m glad to hear that you do have days that are wonderful. I don’t think anyone in this world has a life where every day is perfect, but I believe that one day, you’ll have more good days than bad. That’s at least what I hope for everyone. You’ve survived this far, just keep on pushing through. I believe in you and I support you.

  2. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I’m sorry some days are harder than others. Just remember to keep your head up when things get bad. It’s okay to cry and be upset. You are allowed to have feelings. Just remember if you need to talk about anything we are here for you. Thank you for updating us.
    -Alyssa

  3. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear Jamie Marie,
    Healing IS hard!!! You are doing it and we are here to remind you of that.
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  4. eagle206 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I’m sorry to hear that there are so many ups and downs for you recently. I think you are right that someday it won’t hurt as much, time can really help work things through. One thing that I do is on days that I feel good I write reminders to myself about the good things and positive things in my life. That way on bad days you have something to look at to remind you that it isn’t always bad and those good days will come back.

    Stay strong,

    Tyler

  5. Stellablue Volunteer

    Yes stay strong! It can get very hard sometimes carrying around all that weight, just remember you are strong and can push through the hard days to get to the good ones. Keep fighting!

  6. Marissa Day Captain

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    You’re exactly right! Just gotta keep trooping. Keep your head up. You will pull through this, I promise! Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help you through those rough days. We’re here for you, and I hope you know that.

    Marissa

  7. SydSquid Volunteer

    Hey Jamie,
    I’m sorry to see you are struggling right now it really can feel like a battle of emotions going when you have CPTSD. But it will get better! I don’t know what you have been doing about the pain at the moment but I know that a councilor can really help you find ways of working through your emotions and figuring out good ways of dealing with them. Keep updating us on how you are doing and hang in there, you are so strong!

  8. Amysue43 Volunteer

    I’m sorry that you are going through this. Managing this can obviously be difficult and exhausting as you’ve described. I hope that you have considered some coping mechanisms to help facilitate the ongoing battle. You’ve identified several reoccurring thoughts/feelings that come along with CPTSD which is monumental. Definitely something worthy of acknowledging to help you in the future.
    If you’d like, you could update on where you are in the future. We would love to support you.
    Stay strong <3

  9. myazojo Volunteer

    Hi Jamie,

    I am glad to see that you are acknowledging your patterns. This can the hardest part, but I know you can work through this.I am sorry that you have to experience the days that are surrounded by pain. That must really hurt. We are always here for you.

  10. candyappleb Volunteer

    Hi again Jamie Marie,

    I’m sorry you’re struggling right now. Remember to be gentle with yourself. Healing is a personal journey. Some days are more difficult than others. You’ve got this, and we’re here for you.

    All the best,
    Becca

  11. jcas120 Volunteer

    Hello Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for coming by to share another update with us. Based on what I’ve read from your posts, it does sound like an ongoing battle. BUT it sounds like you’re winning! There’s been a lot of hard days, but you’ve pushed through and made it past them and were brave enough to come here and share with us. That’s very inspiring!

    I know the days where it feels like the trauma just happened yesterday are hard, but the days where you feel like you have nothing to fear will always be there too! I hope you have more of those days. You’re doing a great job with your process so I’m sure more of those days are just right around the corner. I agree, someday it will be a distant memory and it won’t hurt as much.

    Thanks again for coming by and being so honest with us.

  12. Ashley Day Captain

    Hello Jamie Marie,

    Since you seem to fluctuate from feeling hopeful to defeated, it sounds like you feel as if you’re on an emotional rollercoaster. With time, I believe that emotional pain begins to hurt less. Soon, I hope you can reach a point where things don’t hurt as much.

    Ashley

  13. Northlane1991 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie

    You are so right that things can go from feeling great to feeling so much pain. What is really important that you keep going friend. Healing is messy and also takes time for everyone. They are ups and down and sometimes we have good days and bad. Thank you for trusting us and We are always here for you.

  14. musicislove

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    You are so right that things can go from feeling great to feeling like you’re being thrown right back into the pain from the past from day to day sometimes, but what’s important is that no matter what, you keep going. Healing is messy and there are so many ups and downs, but as time goes on you’ll discover you have more good days than bad days and that the bad days get a little easier to get through. Thank you for coming here and trusting us, we’re always here for you.

    Delaney

  15. KatherineL Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    You’re not alone in feeling this way. Your trauma is in the past, but the pain from that is still very real. Healing is not a linear process; Some days or moments are good while others are terrible. Keep moving forward even though it may feel impossible some days, and eventually you’ll be having more and more good days with fewer bad. Stay strong!

    KatherineL

  16. colton95 Volunteer

    I am really sorry for what you are and have gone through but I’m glad that you’re trying to stay strong and go on with life. That is definitely not an easy thing to do and I applaud you for trying. I hope that you will be able to experience more cloud-9 days. Feel free to reach out to anyone here and share your thoughts whenever you feel like it.

  17. rkr18 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Yes keep going, your trauma is real and someday you will have peace, just keep pressing forward. We are always here for you.
    -Marie

  18. Turnschaosintoart Day Captain

    Jamie Marie,
    You are a warrior and are so strong. You fight an on going battle in your brain and that makes you incredibly brave. Living with PTSD is super challenging and a lot of people do not understand it. But I am proud of you for getting up every day, for posting here and sharing your story and just living. You will have those high high days and those low low days but you are doing so well and have come so far on your journey that those day will get fewer and fewer. Sending positive vibes your way

    Kristin

  19. mikaylaanne11 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    I have also been navigating the PTSD waters. I sympathize with you, and it’s important to try to remember that the trauma is in the past. Healing is messy, but we’re all here for you! Try to be kind with yourself and take some time to do something that makes you happy. We’re always here for you!

  20. Knina7 Volunteer

    Jamie Marie,
    Hi again! What you are feeling is completely normal, and it’s okay that you feel this way. Thank you for trusting in us. Have you considered seeing someone? Another technique that may be worth a shot is journaling. Write down your feelings, let it all out. We are here for you!

    Sending Love and Hope,
    Kelly

  21. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi Jamie,
    Exactly! I can relate to you. There are some days when I feel like I’m doing well and others when my stress levels are through the roof. Life is an ongoing battle, and healing is nonlinear. All of it is okay – the wonderful days, the difficult days, and everything in between. I believe that having coping mechanisms, self care, and hope are helpful every day, but especially on those difficult days. Sometimes it’s not easy to care for ourselves when things are hard, but it can help us cope.
    Thank you for sharing this update with us. I’m glad you wrote this because it’ll help people remember that healing is nonlinear and that there’s no “time limit” for healing. You’ve got this, and we’re here for you!

  22. Jess Volunteer

    You’re completely right – it’s an ongoing battle. Unfortunately, some days will always be harder than others. On those days, you have to use your strength and your coping skills. Engage in activities you enjoy, take a walk, journal, share your hard days here… whatever helps, make sure you engage in those things when those hard days come. It will be so difficult, but that’s the best way to keep moving forward. Keep troopin’ along, Jamie Marie. If you need anything at all, you know we are always here for you. Stay strong and keep fighting. <3
    -Jess

  23. Rustin Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I think you make a great point in stating this. Some days will be harder than others and that’s just the unfortunate side of it. The best thing to remember is to take one day at a time! You got this! Just keep going and pushing forward! We are here to support you during those bad days!

    1. Starling Volunteer

      Hi Jamie Marie,
      Thank you for continuing to share your story with us.I’m sorry that you had to deal with this. You didn’t deserve this and it wasn’t your fault. I hope that you are able to have more good days than bad days. You’re very strong and have come a long way. You got this! If you ever need anything, let us know. We’re always here for you.

  24. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    Thank you for sharing an update with us. You’re right-it is an ongoing battle. And it is okay to have good days and bad. I know the bad days can be especially difficult. You are always welcome to share here on those days. We are here for you.

    Erin

  25. CarmenR Volunteer

    Hi there Jamie Marie,

    Please know that you aren’t alone. It is okay and normal to have some days that are better than others. Stay positive. You can do this, and we are here to support you. Stay strong.

    Carmen

  26. Solongago Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I’m right there with you: sometimes I think, maybe this will be over with soon, and other days, OMG, I was paralyzed with fear!

    I wish I could tell you about the beautiful rainbow place that sprouts up when we get “there.” Unfortunately, I am not “there” yet. And it is really pissing me off, that I am not “there” yet. Because after all this, I think “there” ought to be something spectacular.

    I will tell you this, and that is I think the secret is self-care. If you can continue every day, to practice self-care: Take your medicine if you have any prescribed, eat foods that are healthy for your body in moderation, sleep 7-9 hours every day, exercise even when you don’t want to get out of bed, do something fun even when it doesn’t sound like fun to do anything, talk to your friends and go out with them, even if you think you won’t be good company, work your program (therapy, 12-step if you have any of those), find something to be grateful for every day, find some good in some one, praise one of your accomplishments every day. Learn something every day. Do something for someone else. Make it a habit/lifestyle. If you can do this, than you will conquer. You will make “there” here and now.

    Now if only I could practice what I preach. It’s hard. Is it so hard to do the right things for me, because I don’t believe I deserve them? Perhaps this is what they mean when they talk about “work.” I think we have to do the right thing for our minds and our bodies and our spirits even if we don’t think we deserve to be happy.

    Well, anyway, yes, I feel like you do in your statement there. I do believe in the process, and I believe that it will get better if I can do my bit. If I can keep troopin’.

    And I believe in you. I think you can have an awesome life ahead of you. Keep on troopin’.

  27. dzreid Volunteer

    Jamie Marie,
    The one thing I have learned is that each day is another day, & each day, is a new day. I am sorry that some days are tougher for you. I can relate. Unfortunately, trauma & recovery from it is no easy walk. There will be rough days, & days when nothing seems wrong. You are way stronger than you seem, & braver than you think. I know it may seem painful at times, but giving time, & patience, things will get better. One day, you will reach the point where your trauma will still be there in your mind, but the pain from it will lessen. I understand how difficult this can be ( the feelings of “being on cloud 9”, & then feeling like the trauma just happened). When those days come, just remind yourself, to take a deep breath, & hold your head high. I know you will reach the day when trauma no longer holds you back. You can do this one day at a time!
    Dawn