Hey everyone, I hope all is well. I’ve been busy with work, and taking time to reflect. This Sunday, I ‘plan’ on telling my dad, whom I’ve reconnected with in the last several months, about the rape/molestation. I’m nervous as hell, seeing as though at one point when my mom told her dad, he blamed me and wrote a nasty letter, so maybe I’m just expecting the worst. I just hope it goes well..


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54 comments

  1. leoreslavick Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    Thank you for continuing to update us. I hope everything with your dad went well and I hope that he was understanding with everything that happened. Continue to update us if you need anyone to talk to about everything that you are going through as I totally understand how stressful it is to go through these types of things alone.
    Stay strong and we are always here for you,
    Leore

  2. VolunteerNem Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    It’s nice that you want to let your dad know, also don’t expect the worst keep your hopes up and stay positive. Hope to hear from you again. Stay Safe.

  3. iap66325 Volunteer

    Hello Jamie Marie,

    Good to hear that you plan to speak with your father about your experience, do not expect the worst. You got this, everything will go well just remain positive. Hope to see an update soon!Sending love and strength your way!

  4. casitasbonitas Volunteer

    Hi Jamie, thank you for keeping us updated. I understand why you are feeling nervous to tell your dad. Try not to think negative! You got this good luck and keep us updated.

  5. Chloe-Barnett Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,
    Thank you for updating us. I hope that everything went well with your conversation with your dad on Sunday. Stay strong, you got this. If you need anything we are here for you!

  6. chompyapple1 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for continuing to update us. I hope your talk with your dad went well on Sunday and that he was understanding. We’re so proud of you and your journey. Stay strong!

  7. eagle206 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Sending you good vibes and support from the east coast! I hope it goes well and I hope saying something feels like a big weight off your chest. In the end remember, we all believe you and you’re in the right. He may lash out but he’s in the wrong. You’re doing the right thing.

    Stay strong,
    T

  8. jao1820 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for keeping us updated! Its great to hear from you again. Keep a positive outlook on things, I know as humans we sometimes always expect the worst-case-scenario but most the time its not as bad as we expect. I understand that this will be a really hard and uncomfortable conversation, but I hope you are able to find the strength and courage to tell you dad. You’re already so strong for wanting to come out and share your story!

    – J.A.O.

  9. alexiswilliams

    Jamie Marie,

    Today is Sunday, and I will be thinking of you. I hope that you are able to find the strength to share these things and I also hope that your father’s response is understanding. I am proud of you!

    Sending love, hope, and healing,
    Lex

  10. brookeallnutt Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    It’s great to hear from you again! I hope everything went well with your dad on Sunday. It’s definitely understandable that you’d be nervous to have this conversation, and you deserve to be proud of yourself for having the courage to share your story. Let us know if we can do anything to support you!

  11. candyappleb Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    It’s good to hear from you again. Good luck telling your dad! I know how intimidating it can be to share such a personal trauma with those you love. Sending you lots of luck and good vibes.

    All the best,
    Becca

  12. Rustin Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I haven’t seen an update from you since this so I hope everything went okay! If you haven’t done this yet, I wish you the best and send you all the positive vibes!

    -Rustin

  13. KatherineL Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    It’s completely understandable why you’re nervous. It was not okay how your mom’s dad responded, you didn’t deserve that and it definitely was not your fault. Getting a response like that is never easy, and I’m sure it’s contributing to your nervousness about this. But at least if you tell him, you know and can move on accordingly. You can survive whatever your dad says to you. You’ve already proven courageous and brave for telling others, and deciding to tell your dad. It’s been almost a week, so I hope it went well! Looking forward to your update.

    KatherineL

  14. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi Jamie,
    It can be difficult to tell someone our story, and I can understand why you’re nervous. I will say that it takes courage and strength to share these experiences. I wish your grandfather hadn’t blamed you or sent a nasty letter. What happened wasn’t your fault, and you didn’t deserve it.
    If you had the conversation with your dad, I hope it went well and that he was supportive and empathetic when you told him. If you didn’t, that’s perfectly okay as well. You can share whenever you’re ready.
    Thank you for updating us. I hope work is going well for you and that reflecting is helpful for you as well. As always, we’re here for you whenever you need anything. Please write back whenever you would like to share!

  15. tania Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    Thanks for sharing! It is Friday now, so I hope telling your father what happened went well. Talking about what happened is not easy, so I am proud of you for wanting to take this step. I am, however, sorry to hear that your grandfather reacted that way as he should have listened and showed support to you! I wish you the best.
    -Tania

  16. adrian Volunteer

    Hi, Jamie Marie-
    It can be a daunting task to talk to anyone about your story. It sounds like you are at a precipice of change in your life and maybe this is a step forward toward healing. How did this go for you? Were you able to able to have this conversation?

    You’re strong to take this step in your healing and know that we are here to support you!

    Keep fighting the good fight.

    Take care,
    Adrian

  17. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear Jamie Marie,
    It is Wednesday and I see that you wrote an updated post, but I just wanted to send love and strength your way<3
    Roxie

    1. Bluebell13 Volunteer

      Ooops!! I saw that the next post has the same title and thought it was an update. I hope that everything went well with your dad and that he was understanding and supportie of you. Your mom’s dad is not your dad and he is a different generation (not that it is an excuse but they don’t always see things with a current perspective).
      Still sending you love and strength,
      Roxie

  18. Breanna Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I know it’s after Sunday, but I hope that, if you spoke with him about it, it went well. I’m so sorry your grandfather reacted that way. No matter what your dad says, it was not your fault. I’m sending you much love. Keep your chin up and stay strong.

    Bre

  19. Starling Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    Thank you for continuing to share with us. I’m sorry that you got that reaction from your grandfather. Since it’s past Sunday, I hope everything went well with your dad and that you received the support that you deserve. Keep us updated on how it went. If you ever need anything, let us know. We’re always here for you.

  20. rachelb098 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I hope everything went well and that you got the support you deserve from your dad. You’re always welcome to share here; don’t hesitate to reach out with an update! Take care, and hope you have an amazing week!

    -Rachel

  21. dzreid Volunteer

    Hey there JamieMarie,
    How things go with your dad? I am so happy hearing that you were given this opportunity to finally share what happened with you dad! How are you doing? To share what happened is hard enough, but to open up & share with someone you reconnected with, I’m sure is very scary. I am glad that you reconnected with your dad. I hope he can be a support to you & will have a better understanding of what you went through. I am sure if you were able to share with your dad, in the coming days, & even weeks, feelings, emotions, & memories will surface. That is very common. I hope that when or if things surface, you will have the support you need to make it through. We are here for you! this is a huge milestone in your personal healing. You deserve that moment! Stand strong & press on you brave warrior!
    Dawn

  22. meg Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I think it’s an extraordinary show of strength to be willing to tell your father what happened to you. If you told him already, I hope that you got the support you need from him! As you go through this next week, a lot of feelings might come up after such an intense emotional release. Remind yourself to be patient, you’ve lived with this a lot longer and they might process the news differently. Celebrate the fact that you are in control of your life. It isn’t your fault what happened to you, no matter what anyone says. I’m so sorry about your previous experience. That’s unfair of your mom and her father to attack you like that… I look forward to your update! Let us know how it went.
    -Meg

  23. CarmenR Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Today being Monday, I hope things went well for you yesterday when you told your dad. Your feelings leading up to telling him are completely valid. It can be scary to tell the people in our lives our stories, but it can also be a relief. No matter what happened, remember that it is not your fault, and that you show so much courage and strength every day. Let us know if there is anything we can do for you. Stay strong.

    Carmen

  24. aegardiner Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I’m not reading this until now, but I’m guessing you’ve had the conversation with your dad. I hope everything went well and that your worst fears ended up not being anything you had to worry about at all. It’s understandable that you would be nervous about the conversation – it’s a big deal and you are trusting your dad with a very personal story in your life. I hope he treats you and your story with the respect that is deserved. We’re happy to hear your update if you want to share it with us. All the best to you!

  25. Mary Ella Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie!

    Today is Sunday, and I hope that it went well with your dad! I can imagine how nerve wracking this can be because you never know how they could react to disclosure. I wish you the best of luck if you haven’t told him yet. No matter what he says, just remember that what happened to you was not your fault. Feel free to update us on how it went with your dad, and we’re going to be here to support you!

    Mary

  26. sarahj Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    For me, it is Sunday evening. I am wondering if you told your dad about your experience. Either way, know you are brave for sharing your experience, whether that be with your dad or us here. I hope that if you did share with your dad that he was receptive and supportive. Know that no matter what we are always here to support you.
    Wishing you the best,
    Sarahj

  27. Caitlin Volunteer

    Hello Jamie Marie,

    It is Sunday so I am not sure if this will get to you before you talk to your Dad, but I wanted to tell you whatever happens I am very proud of you for making such a hard decision.

    We are all here for you and rooting for you.

    -Caitlin

  28. t3nnis_player18 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie. I would just take your time with telling your dad, it seems very stressful. Do whatever you think is best and whatever you are comfortable with. You share as much or as little as you want. It is your story and your life. I hope it all works out for you thank you for sharing your updates with us.

  29. timms_andrew Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,
    I would imagine this is very anxiety-inducing for you. I encourage you to do whatever you feel comfortable with, and I hope everything works out! We all wish you the best!

    Andrew

  30. Lex Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for sharing with us! I am responding to you on Sunday, so I am not sure if you have or have not decided to tell your dad. However, it is important to do whatever feels right for you! Please update us if you feel comfortable.

    We are here for you, always!
    -Lex

  31. Marissa Day Captain

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for posting. It’s okay if you’re not ready to tell him. It’s also okay to be nervous. Take things at your own pace! If you go through with it, I would love to hear an update. We are here for you no matter what, and I hope you know that. Be strong!

    Marissa

  32. morganndelacruz Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    This is great news! I’m so proud of you for making this huge decision in your life on what happened. That is a lot of bravery and strength you have and you actually made me smile and cheer for you this morning! I know it seems scary at the moment right now but you got this and even if you need to take a step back for a bit to breathe and then move forwards or even do it 100 times more then do it! Keep us updated, if you’ll like!

    Hope all goes well with you and your dad <3

  33. lizzi

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I’m really proud of you for making the decision to tell your dad about what happened. I’m sure it feels incredible difficult and scary, especially seeing as how things went in the past, but I believe that it will go well and that he can be supportive of you. I hope it goes well and that you’ll let us know afterwards.

  34. pinksky92 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    It takes a lot of courage to share your story. It is a very difficult to do and I can understand that you are keeping your expectations relatively low. I think you should also be optimistic that your father has a different response than your grand-father. I hope that everything goes well and that you can start to heal with his support.

    Please feel free to let us know how it goes, take care.

  35. haesol Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I hope everything goes well with your dad, sending you strength and lots of encouragement! Sharing your story can be tough, so remember to tend to yourself afterwards if you need.
    Let us know how it goes!
    Take care.

  36. mikaylaanne11 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie!

    Telling your story always takes a lot of strength and can take a lot out of you. If you’re ready to share, I say trust in your intuition. Keep positive, and make sure you have some fun self-soothing activities ready for after sharing (like watching your favorite movie)! Keep us updated. You can do it!

  37. Edjay Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    It’s good to hear from you again. It definitely sounds like a big step for you, so it’s understandable you’re feeling nervous about telling your dad. This is entirely up to you, and it’s totally okay whether you decide to tell him or not. I’m hoping it goes well. We will be here for you either way. Take care.

  38. jcas120 Volunteer

    Hello Jamie,

    Great to see you back, I hope everything is going well for you and that you are safe. You are certainly taking a big step this weekend! I hope everything goes well. It takes so much courage to do this, I hope you celebrate this accomplishment. I hope everything goes well too and I know you can handle whatever may happen, but I hope it’s a positive experience on your healing journey!

  39. Ashley Day Captain

    It’s wonderful to see an update from you, Jamie Marie.

    The fact that you’re thinking about confiding in your dad about the rape/molestation is courageous. Since you received a negative response from your mom’s dad, it’s understandable that there’s some nervousness about how your dad might react. If you don’t end up telling him, that’s okay.

    I hope everything goes well.

    Ashley

  40. AlisonDKaufman

    Hello Jamie:

    It is wonderful you are working on developing a relationship with your dad and you owe it to yourself to begin the relationship in the best way for yourself and your needs. I wish you the very best during the discussion and know we are here for you if you need support. The situation with your grandfather certainly may place question and concern on your heart, but again you must do what is best for you. Revealing the truth is never easy but always the best path.

    Ali

  41. jcastle38 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie,
    I am so glad to hear that you have reconnected with your dad! And I am so sorry to hear that your grandfather responded that way.. I hope it goes well when you tell your dad just remember that regardless of the outcome, getting it off your chest will make you feel a lot better. And you are so strong for doing so I truly admire that! I hope to hear an update from you soon! Stay well Jamie!

  42. ajklessig Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    It is great that you have reconnected with your dad. I am sorry your grandfather was not supportive when he found out. That was not okay for him to write a nasty letter, but hopefully, your dad has a different response. It is totally normal to feel nervous (I would be too), but you should be really proud of yourself regardless of how it goes. That is a huge step to take and requires a lot of bravery especially after how your grandfather responded. You are strong and you got this! Just remember that whatever happens, we support you and you deserve to be believed. You have a right to be accepted and valued.
    I am rooting for you! Please please feel free to update us on how it goes!

  43. Thomas Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for the update. I really admire your bravery here. This is a significant step and I am wishing you the best. We are in your corner. You can do this!

  44. snandi2 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I’m proud that you plan on telling your dad about what you’ve been through! I’m sure it took a lot of courage and bravery to even consider telling your dad about it. What your grandfather did was horrible and inexcusable. He doesn’t know the full extent of what you’ve been through, and the fact that he decided to blame you makes no sense at all. I’m praying that your dad isn’t like that! I’m sure that he’ll be more willing to comfort you and listen to what you have to say, since you are his daughter. Please know that all of us here at AVFTI support you and that we’re all hoping things go well on Sunday. Good luck and we hope to hear back from you!

  45. Ryan4121 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie- I’m catching up to your journey, but I think safely having conversations with others is often times the best option. You seem like you are making the right move and the conversation should help. Even if it is quick, that is just fine. Keep going. Keep being strong. We appreciate you sharing.

    Ryan

  46. zelda Day Captain

    Hi, Jamie! That is a huge step; I am so proud of you! I know that takes an insurmountable amount of courage, inner strength and bravery. You are going to rock this, I promise.

    I’m sorry your grandfather wrote you a nasty letter; that’s really uncalled for and pathetic, if you don’t mind me saying. I know he’s still family, but it still doesn’t excuse his actions to undermine and invalidate your experience and trauma. You went through a horrific ordeal. We all acknowledge the reality of the situation, and I hope he comes to acknowledge the reality, as well. However, your father might have a much different response. You are his daughter, after all. If anything, I could see him feeling very sad. I don’t know much about your relationship with him, but I’m assuming you guys have a good enough relationship if you’re willing to share your truth. I’m hoping the conversation will go well, and I’m sure it will. You are his child; he loves you.

    Anyway, just remember that no matter what his response, you know what happened. You live with what happened, every day of your life. It’s in your marrow as much as it is in your spirit and soul. And that’s because it is your past, your life, and your trauma. Traumas that you are overcoming and conquering, as I write this post.

    Please message us again before Sunday, if you have any worries or thoughts to get off your chest. You will be fine, and your father will be fine, too. At the end of the day, you are giving him the truth. You’re giving him a piece of your life experience, and that’s a gift in and of itself.

    Take care, Jamie Marie. We’re all rooting for you. 💕

  47. musicislove

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Opening up to someone about your experiences with trauma is never an easy decision so its understandable to be scared. I’m glad you and your dad have reconnected and I wish you luck on telling him what you went through. You deserve so much support and love, sending you hope and strength!

    Delaney

  48. laurenp34 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie! I’m new to your journey but I’m wishing you luck! I hope he is loving and empathetic toward you. You deserve happiness and peace after what you experienced. We are all rooting for you!
    Love, Lauren

  49. Julia Mandel Volunteer

    Deciding to open up to someone and share your story is definitely a scary thing, but also extremely brave! This decision is up to you completely, so if you feel comfortable doing so that is your choice. I hope that it goes well and you get the support from him that you deserve. We are always here for you; good luck! <3

  50. colton95 Volunteer

    I hope that your dad will be understanding and I’m sorry about your mom’s dad not being understanding like he should’ve been. Stay strong and positive!

  51. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    Hi Jamie,

    Thank you for coming back to share! We are here to support you-I know it can be scary to tell someone what happened, but no matter what, you deserve support. Come back here to share with us how it goes if you need. We are here for you.

    Erin

  52. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    It’s good to hear from you. I’m happy you have reconnected with your dad. I think it’s up to you if you want to tell him what happened. If you think he will be understanding I’d tell him. Times have changed where more people are believing the survivors instead of just ignoring the situation/victim blaming. Go with your gut feeling if you think your dad will be there for you tell him! I hope it does go well if you decide to tell him. Good luck!
    -Alyssa

  53. Megan Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    It’s perfectly normal to be nervous about opening up to someone new about difficult things, especially after receiving a negative response before. You should be proud of yourself for taking this step and having the strength to be vulnerable with your dad. That truly shows growth.

    I hope it goes well for you too,
    Megan