Setting myself free

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It took me years to get over the fact I was raped, another few years to get over me being sexually abused, and attempted rapes by my step father. I started started listening to old music, watching old movies, and taking pictures of nature, I would even branch out in taking reflection pictures, then writing screenplays and scripts.

About 2005 I lost interest in most everything, and still have. I have found that empty depressing thoughts filled my mind at this time. But I’m widening back out again, learning to enjoy things I take pleasure in instead of feeling guilty and shamed all the time, that has left me at times paralyzed and unable to even do anything but cry, oh I still got a long way to go but with the help of the doctors, and this positive outlook on life I know I will survive, I know I will survive. I have set myself free, set myself free


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3 comments

  1. Erin Day Captain

    Thank you for continuing to share with us-does this mean you’ve found some outside help as well? I hope so-let us know how they are helping you, and I hope you are able to get back into the hobbies that you love.

    Erin

  2. Kristen Eby

    I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you for taking the steps to improve your physical and mental health, and I’m proud of you for reminding yourself of your worth and talent. It’s okay to be paralyzed sometimes. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to have a tough time. But at the end of the day, you always end on a hopeful note – and that’s what really matters.

    Your work and interests are important. Your photos, screenplays, scripts – they’re important. Thank you for telling us about them, and keeping us included in your thoughts.

    You got this.

  3. Ashley Day Captain

    Your willingness to wrestle your demons is remarkable. About 12 years ago, you lost interest in things you loved and it sounds like you were swarmed by thoughts that were troubling to regulate. As you move forward, you seem determined to broaden your horizons and attempt to rediscover the feeling of joy you have lost. Perceiving life in a positive way seems like it will be promising for you. Each of us has good days and bad days. There are things everyone needs to come to grips with. Please know you’re not alone in your journey of healing.

    Take things one day at a time and understand that you have the ability to get through this.