Raped again

Its been a while since i posted on here. As the title says yes i was raped again this time by someone different. Its a lot different this time because this time it was my best friends boyfriend who raped me. He told me not to say anything to anyone because i though he was gonna come after me if i told. I finally crack last Monday and spoke up and have to call the coos and everything give a statement and i had to go the police station on Tuesday to talk to the  detective and relive the whole situation over again. I still cant get over the fact that i was stupid and let my guard down. That was the other reason i wasn’t around much as a volunteer i didn’t have my phone for a couple days between cops having it and then i needed to update it all. I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT


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22 comments

  1. mkyuellig Volunteer

    Hello again,

    Thank you for coming and sharing your story. I am so sorry that you have to experience this again, but I want you to know that it is not because you are stupid or because you let your guard down. It is actually very common for survivors of sexually violence to be attacked multiple times, although the jury is still out on why. It was very brave of you to report to the cops and make a statement. I know how scary and emotionally draining that can be. Don’t worry about anything but taking care of yourself for awhile. We are here for you if you need anything. You are not stupid, and nothing you did puts you at fault. The only person to blame is the person who attacked you.

    Stay strong and be gentle with yourself,
    Keight

  2. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear JProshuto,
    This was not your fault! Letting your guard down, living life, and enjoying yourself are in no way you giving permission for others to violate you. I know that my response is late compared to others who have responded, but I hope that you are feeling better and have found some comfort and support. Be sure to take care of yourself and to be gentle with yourself…remember, no matter how many times you go over it in your mind and wish things had gone differently, none of your words or actions gave this person permission to do what he did. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help you.
    Sending love and strength,
    Roxie

  3. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi JProshuto,
    I’m so sorry this happened. This is not your fault. If you need to take time and recover from this, it’s okay. Take all the time you need. Remember you are strong and brave. It takes a lot to go to the police and report these kind of things. Is there anything we can do to help you? We are here for you. Thank you for trusting and sharing your story with AVFTI.
    -Alyssa

  4. Lizzi G Volunteer

    Hi JProshuto,
    I’m so sorry for what happened to you and I’m glad you were able to report it to the police. You are so strong for going through this and seeking justice against him, especially after he threatened you not to tell. You aren’t stupid and this isn’t your fault. You shouldn’t have to keep a guard up to avoid being raped. He shouldn’t have done it. He is 100% to blame for this. I hope things get better for you soon, but know that we’re here for you.

    Much hope,
    Lizzi

  5. Zoe Volunteer

    I am so sorry for what happened to you. Please don’t blame yourself. What happened was not your fault, and you’re not an idiot. You should be able to trust people, especially your own friend’s boyfriend, without having to worry about something this traumatizing.

    I know you must be feeling overwhelmed, but I just want to let you know that I’m so proud of you for standing up for yourself and reporting him to the police. Regardless of what happens with the case, that shows how strong and brave you are. I wish you weren’t going through this pain right now, but I know you can get through this.

    Please know that you’re not alone, and that we’re all here for you. If there’s anything you need, any resources or further support, don’t hesitate to reach out.

    Zoe.

  6. Megan Volunteer

    Hey JProshuto,

    I’m sorry that this happened to you. Just remember that the rape is NEVER the survivor’s fault. Don’t feel like an idiot. There was no way you could have known it was going to happen. I hope the police and the justice system help you properly. Don’t worry about not being around much as a volunteer; take time and focus on yourself right now. If you need anything at all, we are always here.

    Much love,
    Megan

  7. Julia Mandel Day Captain

    You are definitely not an idiot. It is never the survivors fault when something like this happens. I hope the justice system helps you in the way you deserve. Stay strong: we are here for you always <3

  8. Graciegrace22 Volunteer

    I am so sorry this happened to you. It terribly traumatic to feel as though you have to relive a horrible memory. We are here to support you through this time. You are not an idiot and nothing you did caused this or made this your fault. In time things will get better. Try and hang in there.

  9. colton95 Volunteer

    You are not an idiot and what happened to you is NOT your fault. I really hope that you will stay strong and not look down on yourself and that there are people in your life who you trust and who care about you.

  10. Thomas Volunteer

    Hi JProshuto,

    I am so sorry that this happened to you. But this isn’t your fault. None of it is. It is all your boyfriend’s friend’s fault. He shouldn’t have done that. You deserve to be treated with compassion and respect. It took a lot courage to go to police and relive your situation. That takes an incredible amount of strength. You are not alone. Thank you for sharing your story. Please let us know what else we can do for you. Stay strong.

    Thomas

  11. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi JProshuto,
    I’m really sorry this happened to you. You’re not stupid, and this was not your fault. He shouldn’t have violated you in any way, and this is entirely his fault. The fact that he told you not to say anything shows that he knows what he did was wrong. Please don’t blame yourself for what he did.
    I’m so proud of you for telling the cops, especially after he tried to silence you. It’s not easy to relive what happened and give a statement.
    Are you feeling okay and safe right now? I think it could help to call a hotline or use Crisis Text Line if you need immediate support.
    Thank you for updating us. If you need support and/or resources, please write back. We’re here to support you through this difficult time, and we believe you. You can get through this.

  12. Jade Volunteer

    Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry for everything that’s happened to you. You didn’t deserve any of it. It sounds like you are feeling vulnerable and ashamed but please know that none of this was your fault and you are not to be blamed. You are a survivor, you are not stupid at all. It is not your fault that someone you trusted betrayed your trust. He had no right to touch you. It was extremely brave of you to speak up and inform the police. You deserve justice. Please stay strong and don’t give up hope. You got this!

  13. Ryan4121 Volunteer

    Please don’t criticize yourself. You are the victim and did the right thing by telling the police. Crisis Text Line is a great option and I hope you continue to have the incredible bravery by seeking help from the authorities. You did nothing wrong here and we are with you. Stay strong!! 🙂

  14. sfmbelle413 Day Captain

    Hey there JProschuto,

    Please do not feel like an idiot. What happened is not your fault. You are strong for speaking with the cops and making sure everything is documented. I know reliving the situation can be incredibly difficult. As Erin said, if you need immediate support during this time, our friends at Crisis Text Line are there for you. You can just text VOICE to 741-741, or reach out to them on Facebook (since you still may not have a phone – this is another way you can speak with a trained Crisis Counselor). I’m glad you remembered us and felt safe to come back to share your story.

    We’re here with you. And we believe you.

    Sending light,
    SFM

  15. Deanna Volunteer

    You are NOT stupid or an idiot. You trusted someone you knew to act like a decent human being and he violated that trust. You are so brave for coming forward and talking to the police. Do you feel safe?

    Stay strong,

    Deanna

  16. Brianna W Volunteer Volunteer

    I’m sorry this happened again , this is absolutely not your fault and you are far from stupid. Thank you for continuing to trust in us and come back to share. We stand behind you the entire way and believe in you.
    Stay strong

    -Brianna

  17. CarmenR Volunteer

    Hi there,

    I am so sorry that this happened to you. You are not stupid, and what happened is not your fault. You didn’t deserve this. Thank you for coming back to our site and sharing with us. You are so strong. We are here for you.

    Carmen

  18. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    You are not at fault here. For any of this. At all. I am so sorry for what happened to you-you did not deserve this. This is someone you should have been able to trust-and you should not feel at fault for trusting this person. I’m sorry they betrayed you. Is there anything more we can do for you? Remember your Crisis Text Line, text VOICE to 741 741. We are here for you.

    Erin

  19. Solongago

    I am sorry this happened. Please do not feel like an idiot. These animals do these things and say the things they do because they work on a lot of people. I am proud of you for reporting him and making a statement. No one should have to go through this stuff, and when you do doing everything exactly the way you should after the fact can be next to impossible. It may just be impossible not to second guess yourself etc. Try to be as understanding to yourself as you would be to anyone who comes on here and explains a similar situation.

  20. candyappleb Volunteer

    Oh J,

    I’m so sorry you’ve been going through all of this! It is NOT your fault. Feeling safe with someone you know well is normal, and it makes me so angry that this man took advantage of your trust like that. I’m so glad you were able to find the strength to contact the police even though it’s been difficult to relive the trauma. Please take care. We’re here for you. Take care,

    Becca

    1. JProshuto Volunteer

      Thanks Becca. Its so hard to even focus on anything right now. I mean im sitting in a dark room worried that something is gonna happen to me

      1. candyappleb Volunteer

        I understand. Take lots of deep breaths. You are not alone in this. If you need someone to talk to with a more immediate response you can always use the crisis text line. Text VOICE to 741741. Also a good grounding technique I like to use when I’m feeling overwhelmed is running my hands under cold water. It helps get your body out of the fear response and back to a calm state. It doesn’t have to be just cold water either. It can be sounds, sights, smell; anything that you can focus on in your environment. It’s a bit late where I am right now, but please don’t hesitate to post more if you need to. We’re listening.