Peeping Tom?

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So when I was in a rehab facility, I had a roommate. When I was using the bathroom, she walked in on me. At first, I thought it was an accident. But then she just stared at me as I was sitting on the toilet. When she left, she came back in for a second time to stare at me. I felt very violated and disgusted.

What I wanna know is if this is a crime or not? Like a peeping tom type situation? If anyone could offer their input, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

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  1. eagle206 Volunteer

    Hi Zelda,

    So sorry to hear about what happened with your roommate. I don’t know if this is technically a crime but I’m sure the rehab workers would definitely have helped make sure it never happened again. Really violating and frustrating that she just stood there and watched you. Maybe if this happens again you can bring it up to the staff to make sure they are aware of the situation. I’m sure they would do something about it, as they would want everyone to feel safe.

    Stay strong,


  2. Kayla Volunteer


    Welcome back, I hope you’re well. That’s super creepy and violating what happened with your roommate. I’m sure the rehab staff would have taken action to remedy the situation, but I’m not sure if it would be considered a crime elsewhere. Regardless of it being a crime or not doesn’t make it okay. It’s invasive and bizarre. I’m sorry this happened.

  3. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi zelda,
    I’m so sorry this happened to you. This is very weird that she would do this to you and invade your personal space like that. I don’t know if that is a crime and I don’t want to say the wrong thing if it is or if it isn’t, but I’m sure if you asked your law enforcement where you live they could tell you an answer. It sounds like a peeping Tom though, which isn’t okay what so ever. Even if it isn’t a crime what she did was not okay and I understand why you feel the way you do about this because what she did was wrong. Thank you for sharing this with us. If you need anything just let us know.

  4. brodie_james Volunteer

    Hello friend,

    Thanks for sharing this experience with us. I’m also not certain about peeping tom laws, but I definitely understand how violating that must have felt. I’m so sorry that your roommate did that and made you feel that way. There may be websites that go into more detail about whether those laws exist (perhaps try going to Google and searching “peeping tom laws -the state you’re in-” and see if anything pops up). If there isn’t much that can be done on a legal sense to hold her accountable for that, there may be a way that you could notify someone within the rehab facility about the situation and either get yourself placed in another room with a different roommate, or (if you’re not there anymore) provide some feedback so that it doesn’t happen to another person later down the line. Sometimes things aren’t able to be handled legally through the police department, but can still be handled within the organization or building to protect the people that are there currently.

    Thanks again for reaching out to us, and please don’t hesitate to write us back if you need any more support!


  5. Shannon Volunteer

    Hey zelda,

    Thank you for sharing with us. I am so sorry that happened to you. I don’t know much about peeping tom laws, but it probably varies from state to state. I hope you find the information you need, If there’s anything else we can do let us know. Be kind to yourself


  6. Knina7 Volunteer

    Hey There Zelda,
    I am sorry that had happened to you, I am not sure if that’s a crime but it is extremely violating. I am sorry she put you through that. Thank you for updating us, we are always here to listen!

    Sending Love and Hope,

  7. dzreid Volunteer

    I don’t know much about “peeping toms” but I do know that if you felt violated, then I would say that’s a normal response. I believe that is a form of abuse. I can see if it was accidental or if she didn’t know you were in there, but it sounds like she did. I’m sorry she took advantage of you. I think peeing toms are a valid, real growing concern that should be taken just as serious as any other sexual act. What she did was not your fault! You are entitled to the feelings that you are experiencing. You didn’t deserve that & I’m sorry that her actions caused you a lasting impact Stay strong!

  8. Natalie M Day Captain

    Hi zelda,

    I do not know much about peeping tom situations. But I would say that if it made you feel violated and uncomfortable if was definitely not okay. I am really sorry that this happened to you. Were you able to talk to anyone in the rehab facility about this? Let us know if we can be helpful to you in this situation.

    Stay strong,

  9. Jordan Volunteer

    Dear zelda,

    I do not know much about what qualifies a situation to fall into a pepping tom category, I agree with comments below that this is something that you should further investigate to see what is said about these situations and if it can be related to yours. Regardless, it is for sure a weird, creepy encounter that would probably leave me feeling the same way. Do you know if this ever happened with anyone else regarding your roommate? Seems like it could just be a weird mannerism/behavior, or possibly something more. Regardless, definitely strange.

  10. sam Volunteer

    Hi zelda,
    A lot of states do have peeping tom laws, but from my understanding they usually have pretty specific elements that have to be met to charge someone. If you feel like that is the best avenue for you, you may want to do some research on the laws in your state. Whether you choose to go down that path or not, your feelings of violation are valid. It must have been really scary to feel so vulnerable in a place that was supposed to be designed to keep you safe. Even though we can’t offer you legal support on this platform, we are always here to provide support if you want to share more about how that experience affected you.

  11. Lizzi

    Hey zelda,
    I’m sorry about the roommate invading your privacy. I can understand the first time being an accident, as that can happen when you’re sharing a space with someone. It was wrong of her to stay and stare. I don’t know legally if that’s a crime, but it was wrong for her to make you feel so violated. You’re feelings of disgust are valid. I’m sorry this happened and know that we’re here for you if you want to talk about it more.

  12. Megan Volunteer

    Hey zelda,

    I’m sorry that this happened to you. That’s definitely a weird situation and violation of your privacy. I don’t know much about whether it’s a crime or not, but either way it’s still not fair that she made you feel uncomfortable and violated like that. Whether it is a crime or not, your feelings are still valid.

    Wishing you the best,

  13. Ashley Day Captain

    Hi zelda,

    The first time your roommate walked in on you, it’s not abnormal that you believed it was an accident. Although I’m uncertain about whether this is a crime, I can see how this situation would influence you to feel disgusted and violated. The fact that she stared at you more than once isn’t appropriate; we should be able to use the bathroom without having to worry about someone staring at us. On her behalf, I apologize that she disrespected your boundaries and caused you to feel uncomfortable.

    After this incident, how did she behave?


  14. Northlane1991 Volunteer

    i am so sorry your roomate violated your privacy. I am not sure if it applies to roomate since the peeping tom applies to mostly being on property without consent. I am sorry you had to go through that. Let us know how we can continue to support you and help you through the process.

  15. candyappleb Volunteer

    Hi Zelda,

    I’m sorry that your roommate violated your privacy that way. It’s understandable that you would feel disgusted and violated. I’m not entirely sure if it would be classified as a crime, but perhaps you can find a helpful resource that can provide additional information under our resources tab. If you feel comfortable speaking to the police, sometimes the local police department will send an officer to discuss questions like this with you. Might be worth checking into. Let us know how we can continue to support and help you through the process.

    All the best,

  16. musicislove

    Hi zelda,

    I’m sorry you were made to feel uncomfortable and had to deal with your roommate violating your privacy, that’s not okay. It’s understandable that you felt disgusted. It’s definitely not right, but I’m not sure if it would be considered a crime or not. If you’re feeling weird about it looking into it might be a good idea. Good luck and thank you for sharing more with us, share any other updates you’re comfortable with, we’re always here to listen!


  17. tayestlack Volunteer

    hello love thanks for sharing your story with us. i’m so sorry you were in a situation where you felt disgusted or uncomfortable. although i am not sure if this is a crime or not, but again i am not very knowledgeable on crimes such as this one. it may be something interesting to look into, and it may vary by state or region. please come back if you have any updates. we’re all here for you. i hope you have a lovely day.

  18. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    Thanks for coming back to share more with us. I’m sorry that this happened to you-you didn’t deserve that or to feel uncomfortable. I’m not sure regarding the legal definition of what happened, but what I do know is that anyone who did something like that and made you feel that way is not okay, and you have every right to feel the way you do about it. Is there anything else we can do to support? Let us know-we are here for you.


  19. colton95 Volunteer

    Regardless of whether it is a crime or not this person is intentionally making you feel uncomfortable. I think that you should report this incident to someone official whom you really trust. If anything like this happens again, feel free to talk to anyone here!

  20. rkr18 Volunteer


    Thanks for sharing. I think that if it makes you uncomfortable it’s not ok. Is there anyone you can talk to there about this? Please keep us updated. We are here for you.


  21. mikaylaanne11 Volunteer

    Hi again zelda!

    I do think that, depending on the state your rehab facility was located in, you might have a case for legal repercussions. I’m not well-versed in legislation regarding peeping tom situations, but take a look at the Find Help > Police tab! There might be some resources in there that will stand out to you. Whatever you decide on is valid, and we’ll support you! You’re doing great, and we’re here for you.

  22. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi zelda,
    I’m really sorry this happened to you. I understand why you would feel violated and disgusted; if I were in that situation, I think I would feel the same way. In my opinion, what she did was weird and creepy, and I definitely don’t think it’s right. If you’re in the United States, whether or not it’s a crime depends on what state you live in (because each state most likely has different laws regarding this).
    Thank you for sharing this with us. We’re always here for you!