Something has been on my mind a lot recently so I decided to share in hopes I could process it.
Before we split up my ex who was also my rapist and abuser shared a story with me. I have zero way to verify if it was true at all, especially since I’ve learned 80-90% of everything he told me was an elaborate web of lies, and yet it makes me wonder…
We were in bed one evening and somehow the topic came up of how many previous sexual partners he’d had. Once we discussed the number, a few stories followed about specific girls. The one that stuck with me the most was hearing the story of his high school girlfriend, whom he basically forced himself on and got caught when her mom came home unexpectedly.
Of course when he was telling me the story he didn’t flat out say he raped her. He spun it around to make himself sound innocent, but now so many years later understanding consent better than I did before, what he did was definitely coercion, and he never had her consent. The story ended with him getting a lecture from his own mother, and this girl dropping out of school and disappearing.
This girl has been on my mind so much lately. I wonder what happened to her and if she ever got the help and support she needed after what happened. She’d be in her late 30’s now. I’ll never know because other than a basic description and first name I don’t even know her. I don’t even know if that story was true, or he was simply trying to normalize the way he treated me by making things up about his past girlfriends.
Anyway… thanks for listening.