Nude Picture Blackmail Update

Nude Picture Blackmail Update

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It’s late at night and yet I can’t sleep.  You’ve all read my previous story and were kind enough to leave me comments for me to read.  I want to thank you for doing that.  I had a lot of anxiety in me then.  I still do now.  So, I thought I’d give you all an update on how things are going with me.

Like I said I planned on telling my mom that Asshole was blackmailing me for sex and treating me like shit.

The very first thing I did that morning when I woke up was to check my text messages.

I had a message from Asshole.  It was a picture of him spreading open his hairy ass and showing off his asshole.  He said, “Take a good look, Cunt.  Today’s the day you become my full toilet.  I’m going to sit on your mouth and you’re going to choke down my shit.”

That caused my anxiety to go through the roof.  I gagged at the thought of that.  His piss tastes awful.  And although he’s made me clean his dirty penis after anal sex with me, swallowing shit itself is a whole new horror I didn’t want to go through.  I can’t believe he’s so abusive.  I don’t know why he’s like this.  He seems so angry at me all the time and for no reason.  I never tricked him in the relationship.  I never teased him.  I was just me.  Unfortunately for me I have a body everyone wants to have sex with.

That gave me enough motivation to finally tell my mom what was going on.  She was not as sympathetic as I wanted but was as sympathetic as I expected.  She didn’t believe me when I said he stole the pictures and stuff from me.  She shook her head and said, “Stop lying.  You’re a slut.  You took those pictures and sent them to him to please him and now you regret it.”  She also doesn’t believe what I’ve been going through is rape.  I haven’t told her everything that he’s done, specifically the toilet related stuff, but that was still disheartening.  She said that being blackmailed is a consequence of me being a slut and if I didn’t want to continue having sex with him that I could have stopped at any time.

Look, I love my mom.  And she loves me.  But when it comes to sex stuff she is crazy and super old-fashioned.  To my mom a girl’s vagina doesn’t belong to her.  A girl’s vagina belongs to her future husband.  Same deal with virginity.  If my mom finds out that you lost your virginity to someone that isn’t your husband, not that she ever asks that question, she loses all respect for you.  My mom is even against things like trimming your pubic hair even if that’s just to fit into a swimsuit.  So, her anger and disappointment at me?  I understand that.  I hate that but I get it.  To her I’m a slut.

But she did help me.  She called the school.  Got in touch with the right people. Our schedules, mine and Asshole’s, were changed so I won’t run into him at school.  I basically have an ‘in school restraining order’ against him.  The school people don’t know the real story.  Mom said that he and I were going through a bad break up and that I needed space away from him.

After that my mom told me to tell Asshole that I wouldn’t have sex with him anymore.  I asked her if that was really the best way to handle things because he has my pictures.  She said that he was probably going to have my pictures for the rest of his life.  She said he probably had already shared everything with his friends.  She said he was either going to follow through with his threat and he’d back off.  She said that if I wanted to talk to the cops about Asshole and things like that then I could.  She didn’t like the cop option.  Remember, she doesn’t think what he did was rape, so she told me to, “Think twice before you ruin a young man’s life just because you didn’t say no.”  That’s a brutal thing to tell your fucking daughter in this situation.  I don’t know if I could talk to the cops anyway.  Not now anyway.

I wasn’t going to school.  I wouldn’t see him in person.

I texted Asshole and told him I was done being his bitch.  Asshole immediately threatened to send everyone my nudes.  My heart was beating but I told Asshole I was done.  I could tell Asshole was furious.

Asshole said, “I don’t see why you can’t be a good cunt and obey me like you should.  Remember you had every chance in the world to stop this.”

And then he did it.  For a solid ten or twenty minutes I didn’t know.  But I found out.  Asshole sent people my nudes.  And when he said ‘everyone’ he meant as many people as he could.  My mom got my nudes.  My brother.  My extended family.  My friends.  My class mates.  My teachers.  Strangers.  Everyone.  And I imagine the people that got my nudes shared them with other people they knew.

I know because my phone started blowing up with text messages.

“I always knew you were a fucking slut!”

“Nice cunt, baby!  It’d look better if you trimmed though.”

“STAY AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND YOU FUCKING SKANK!!”

“Wow I love your boobs!”

And so on.  And on.  And on.

Asshole not only send out my nudes but he sent out my name, address, phone number, email address and basically every way he knew how to contact me.

Asshole did it.  He really fucking did it.  My life is ruined.  The only thing I can think of that isn’t horribly wrong is that people don’t know the truth.  They think I’m a slut and that I really did send him all those nudes.  Everyone just thinks this is a bad break up.  They don’t know the truth.  They don’t know how he’s been raping me or pissing into my mouth or wanting to shit into my mouth.  And you know what?  I can barely handle this shit now.  If ALL those people found out the truth that would be the worst possible thing that could happen, and I don’t know what I would do.

My life is utter fucking shit.  Everything is ruined.

And I know the guys loved seeing me naked.  I’ve gotten texts from all sorts of strangers.  You want to know how dick pics I’ve gotten?  I have 40 since my nudes got out.  FORTY.  Guys showing me their erections and asking me if I’m interested, or if I want to be with a ‘real man’.  Some of them are extremely rude and call me ‘cunt’ too just like Asshole.  I will never understand why guys think it’s okay to send pictures of their penises to strangers, especially after something like a girl’s nudes being leaked.

I got more texts from Asshole that night.  Asshole sent me a picture of a toilet bowl filled with one of the biggest lengths of shit I’ve seen coiled up in it.  Asshole said, “Every single bit of my shit here should be inside of your stomach right now, Cunt.”

I asked him why he was such a monster to me.

Asshole said, “You’re a cunt.  I’m a man.  Cunts obey men.”

I asked him how he could hate girls and women so much.

Asshole said, “Your tight little slits between your hips mean you’re inferior.  Cunts are good only for sex.  Cunts are delusional if they think they’re equal to or superior to even the lowest man.  Men like me are GODS compared to cunts.”

Asshole sent me ANOTHER picture of his erect penis and said, “See this?  This means I’m better than you.  Come over and suck me now, cunt.  I’m not done with you by a long shot.  You need to learn to obey.”

I told him I was going to block him on my phone and I never wanted to see or talk to him again.  I told him that I was taking screenshots of all his text messages that he sent me, backing them up somewhere safe, and if he continued to harass me that I was going to go to the cops and have them arrest him for being a monster.

Asshole said, “No one believes a cunt, even with proof.  No one cares about cunts’ feelings or thoughts either.”

I blocked him and turned my phone off.  I wanted that to be the end of the day.  I was so exhausted.  I just sank into bed.  I wanted everything – the storm my life has become – to stay on the outside.  Without my phone I could pretend everything is normal.

I cried and cried and cried.  And then I slept.

Just as an extra bit of humiliation I was passing by my brother’s room.  His door was a little open and I saw what he was looking at on his computer.  It was one of my nude pictures.  It was the picture of me with my feet behind my head, the one where I’m spreading my ass open for the camera with a smile on my face.  And you know what my brother was doing?  He was masturbating.  So I have to deal with THAT shit too now.

This is my fucking life right now.  And as much as I hope this is the worst its going to get, I don’t think so.  I’m going back to school Monday.  Back to the school where everyone knows what I look like.  Where everyone thinks I’m a disgusting slut.

The school wants to talk to me about Asshole too.  I think they want to talk to him as well.  I don’t know what’s going to happen and I really just do not want to find out.

Thank you for reading this.  I’m sorry that it’s another long rant but everyone and everything is terrible right now.  I hope you others are doing much better than I am.


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18 comments

  1. alexcostello Volunteer

    Dear NotAToilet,
    Thank you first for sharing your story with us and also for updating us with how the conversation went with your mother. I am so sorry for everything that has happened to you, I can’t imagine the pain and confusion it has caused for you. I hope you know that we are always here for you and will provide as much support as you need to get you through this extremely difficult time.

    Please know that none of this is your fault, I cannot stress the importance of that enough. You did not deserve for any of this to happen to you. And you are most certainly NONE of the names that you are being referred to in your posts. It is heartbreaking to read that you have had to endure such name calling as well throughout all of this. You don’t deserve this and you aren’t to blame for what happened. I think if you do feel comfortable, and it is completely ok if you don’t, you could speak to the police about what has happened. What has occurred is definitely against the law so you are well within your rights to explore the legal option as well if you feel comfortable in doing so. One thing I might suggest also if it is possible is changing your phone number and potentially your email address. It may be therapeutic to know that these people can’t contact you anymore and that only people that you give your number to will have it.

    You are so incredibly strong and you should be proud of the courage and the strength you have shown despite all of this. And please know that you aren’t at all inferior or less than he is. Exploring your body and your sexuality doesn’t make you a bad person and doesn’t mean that you are at all to blame for any of this. What he has done is a terrible breach of privacy and trust and he is the one who should be punished, not you.

    Please keep updating us if you wish, sending lots of strength and light your way, things will get better!
    – Alex

  2. Northlane1991 Volunteer

    Hey . Thank you for updating us and i am so sorry your mother responded that way. What this person do was wrong and disturbing and should be in prison. There are people out there who are there to help you. Please let us know if you need anything.

  3. kelly Day Captain

    Hey there. Thank you for updating us. I’m so sorry your mother responded that way. Is there anyone else you can go to like a teacher or school counselor? You can always text Voice to 741741 as others have mentioned as well. What this person is doing is very illegal and he should be in jail. Remember you don’t have to talk to anyone about this if you don’t want to, but I think it might help. There are people out there who are on your side. We’re on your side. Please let us know if you need anything.

  4. Jess Volunteer

    I am so incredibly sorry to hear that your mom didn’t give you the support you needed and that your ex sent out those pictures. You don’t deserve anything that is happening right now. I hope you know that. No matter what your mom says, what he says, or what other people who don’t know the story say, you do NOT deserve this. You are not a slut. You are none of the things these people are calling you. I know you said the school was wanting to talk to you both – maybe you could try talking to your school counselor about the details about what happened? They would be able to assist you in finding a way to deal with this situation. If you don’t feel comfortable telling them, is there anyone you would feel comfortable telling the whole story to? I’m so glad you trusted us enough to share your story here and we will help in whatever way we can. Please let us know if there is anything else we can do for you. We are always here and we believe you.
    -Jess

  5. Gamato04 Volunteer

    None of this is your fault and I can’t stress that enough. I’m sorry your mom wasn’t that understanding and under no circumstance is calling your daughter a slut okay. Because you aren’t one. You aren’t a cunt. You aren’t inferior. You are strong. You are beautiful on the inside. You are a survivor.

  6. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear NotAToilet,
    Thank you for coming back to update us. I am so sorry that all of this is happening to you and that your mom isn’t providing the type of support that you need. You were incredibly brave to tell her about what was going on and to stand up to the boy who was doing this to you. No matter what happens, remember how courageous you are! Do you think it would be helpful for you to talk to a guidance counselor or school social worker even if you don’t want to go to the police, they might be able to help you. The boy should be in jail for what he has done to you, but it is okay if you don’t want to turn him in. Just do what you need to do for yourself. You are not a slut and taking pictures of yourself doesn’t make you one. I really wish there was something more I could do to help you. Please know that you can come back and write to us as often as you need and we will help you in any way we are able to. Others have given you the number for the Crisis Text Line (Voice to 741-741), it is free, anonymous, and available 24/7. RAINN is another great support it has a call-in line or web chat (1-800-656-4673 or http://www.rainn.org). Please think about finding someone that you trust to talk to and tell them the whole story; it can be very helpful. Take care of yourself and remember that you are not alone in this!
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  7. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi NotAToilet ,
    I am so sorry he thinks he has a right to do this to you. You are not a slut, cunt, or anything else these people are saying to you. I think you are beautiful, courageous, strong willed, and overall soooo brave for putting up with as much as you have. You deserve better, so much better than what he is putting you through right now. I wish I could give you a hug right now and tell you that it will get better. If you want to go to the police, by all means, you have EVERY right to go. He deserves to be in jail for what he did to you.
    I cannot tell you how proud I am of you for telling your mom. That is amazing. I know she did not give a response that anyone wants to hear and for that I am extremely sorry. However, you did the right thing by telling her because she was able to get the school involved, which needed to be done and it helped you put your foot down and tell him no. Remember, you told him no, you stood up to him. That is amazing and I really am proud of you for saying that because you do not deserve to be a human toilet.
    I know it is embarrassing having your nudes sent out, but you do not deserve to eat his shit. It is going to be hard to deal with going to school after what he did, but you are strong, and if anyone says anything to you, ignore them. Let it roll off your back. When you are ready, if you want to you can go to the police and show them his messages, the messages that others have sent to you, and if you have any bruises or scars you can show them too. I know I am not physically with you to help you, but know I am on your side and spiritually I am with you to help make sure you get the justice you deserve.
    Never apologize for writing long a story or updates to your story. We are here to listen, believe, and validate. Whatever you want to say, we are hear to listen no matter how long or short. We want to help. I also wanted to say, what your brother did, is just as gross as Asshole sending out your nudes. I’d want to hear what your mom would say if she found that out. I don’t think she would be happy with him at all. What he did isn’t right. He should want to help and protect you. That isn’t what a brother should do to his sister. I am so so sorry for all of this. Please remember what I am about to say to you. You are so strong and I do not know how you were able to put up with what Asshole did to you for so long, but you did and you are a survivor. If you can survive that, you can survive anything. Do not let what people are going to say to you hurt or define you because you are beautiful, absoluely amazing, you should love yourself for who you are. Continue to stay strong. Let us know if you need anything.
    -Alyssa

  8. eagle206

    Hi NotAToilet,

    Thank you for coming back and sharing an update to your story. We are all here for you and you are so strong for sharing with us. Asshole is a horrible person, he should know what he is doing to you is horribly wrong. It is not at all your fault, he is just a miserable person. I am sorry that your mom was not sympathetic to your situation. She should be there for you. Again, you are not a slut. We believe you. I am sorry she does not. Even if she is old-fashioned she should realize that this is not your fault and that Asshole is the one at fault. I am glad she helped you. Please continue to share updates with us, I know it doesn’t seem like it now but things will quiet down and get better. We want to help in any way we can. You are so brave and strong. You will get through this. Sending Love.

    Tyler

  9. Shenna2213 Volunteer

    I am so sorry that you are continuing to go through this trauma. You did the right thing by telling your mom and although her reaction wasn’t exactly the one that you wanted or hoped for, you still did it. I know that the things people are saying to you are hurtful after the pictures were sent out, but you know your truth. You know your worth. You know your strength and I commend you for having the courage to post your story, tell your mom, stand up to Asshole, and still go back to school on Monday even though you really don’t want to…I wouldn’t either. Please continue to share your courage and like I said, you know your story and your truth and you will continue to get through this! We are all here for you! If you’re interested there is a really awesome facebook page that has always inspired me and it’s called feminist news. Please continue to stand up for yourself and what you believe. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think!

    Much love,
    Sheena

  10. Julia Mandel Day Captain

    Thank you for reaching out to us again. I am so sorry you are going through this right now; no one deserves to be treated this way. I know several commenters have given you some resources, so I won’t repeat them, but if you need any help finding more or more support please let us know. We are here for you always; please stay strong. You will get through this.

  11. Natalie M Day Captain

    Hi again,

    I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. This is in no way your fault! What this boy is doing to you is not okay. I wish that you got a bit more support from you mother, but I think you did the right thing by telling her when you did. I want you to know that you are not a slut or any of the other things they are saying about you. You are a person, who is deserving of love and respect. You are human and you are not alone. We are here for you, we believe you, and we validate you. How can we support you? Always remember, you can text VOICE to 741-741 if you need to talk to someone immediately at a crisis center. I want you to know that you are strong, you are loved, you are valued. This does not change the person that you are and this does not define you in anyway. Stay strong! You are most important here, never forget that.

    Sending love and hope,
    Natalie

  12. CarmenR Volunteer

    Hi there,

    I am so sorry that this is happening. You are not a slut, and you didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t deserve this. I’m so sorry that your mom has not been more supportive. Please reach out and let us know what we can do to help. We believe you, and we support you. Stay strong. We are here for you. Sending positive thoughts your way <3

    Carmen

  13. Amysue43 Volunteer

    What you have gone through is by no means your fault or your responsibility and I wish that your mother was more supportive in her response. However, we are here for you and we believe you full-heartedly. You’ve been very clear when saying that the sex was not consensual and you are absolutely right. I think the evidence you have collected is more than enough to get this guy out of your life and we support you if that is what you want to do! We are here for you and glad to have you confide in us. You are so strong!

    Amy

  14. music2799 Volunteer

    Hi NotAToilet,
    I’m extremely sorry you’re going through this. You’re not a slut, and you don’t deserve for this to be happening to you. This is not your fault, and it never will be. The way he is treating you is a reflection of his character, not yours. What he’s doing is abominable.
    I’m really sorry that your mom isn’t being supportive. It sounds like she’s struggling to accept the truth, but that’s not an excuse. You deserve better – you deserve support and love through this extremely difficult time. As for the people in school, they don’t know the full truth and are instead making erroneous and harmful judgments. They shouldn’t be sending you those things and harassing you. I would highly recommend blocking them if you haven’t already.
    I agree with the people who said to save his texts and change your number/email address. He could be in serious trouble if you decide to report. Of course, that is your decision and you should do what you feel comfortable with. There’s no pressure.
    However, I’m so proud of you for working up the courage to tell your mom, even though her reaction wasn’t as supportive as you were hoping for. It can be so difficult to tell someone what is happening, and I’m thankful for the fact that you have an in school restraining order. These are good first steps, even though you’re still going through so much.
    Thank you for updating us. We’ll always be here for you, so please reach out if you need anything. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, but I am sending you my love, strength, and a huge hug. I believe in you. You are strong, and you can make it through this.

  15. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    I am so sorry for what is happening to you. I’m sorry your mom is not supporting you as she should. You’re not a slut. This isn’t your fault. Your ex boyfriend is abusing you-and that will never be your fault and you will never deserve this. Please text VOICE to 741 741 if you need more concrete help-they may be able to connect you to some supports that could help. Please reach reach out- we are here for you.

    Erin

  16. Brianna W Volunteer Volunteer

    I’m extremely sorry your mom’s response wasn’t what you were hoping for. I know you were hoping she’d be more supportive and understanding of what happened. You are not any of the horrible things you have been called. You did absolutely nothing to deserve this at all .I need you to know that this isn’t your fault. He’s absolutely disgusting. You don’t have to talk to the police now if you don’t want to but I suggest maybe you should what he has done is illegal and absolutely disgusting you deserve so much better in life than this . I can imagine it’s hard to talk about and it sounds like there’s a lot going on. But if you decide to go the policeyou have more than enough evidence to show them. If you need someone to talk to right now,like one of the other volunteers said please text Voice to 741741 to get support. We are always here for you and please please come back if you need anything else, we believe in you and want you to continue to fight and stay strong. You are worth the fight please don’t give up.

    -Brianna

  17. Megan Volunteer

    Hey girl,

    I agree that your mom should not have responded like that; that’s not the support that you need right now and I’m so sorry. It’s good that she is trying to help though. And I’m sorry that he shared your personal picture/videos and your contact information; that is completely wrong of him. You do have the ability to go to the police and take legal action if you want. They may not have enough evidence for rape charges, but the texts he keeps sending you, sharing your photos, and sharing all of your information is absolutely a crime. I’m not sure where exactly they fall (I’m thinking harassment and child pornography or something like that) because I don’t know a whole lot about legal things, but I do know what he did and is doing is 100% illegal. I believe you also have enough evidence to get a restraining order against him as well so he will stop contacting you, especially with those saved messages from him. Obviously this decision is completely up to you and what you want to do, but I wanted you to know that I think you do have the ability to get him in trouble if that is what you choose to do. I would suggest changing all of the contact information that you can because it’s probably not safe that a lot of people have your information. Obviously your address is a hard thing to change but it shouldn’t be too hard to change your phone number and email address. I would also put your social media accounts on private for the time being to protect yourself even more and prevent a bunch of strangers from accessing them and/or commenting on all your stuff and tagging you in photos. My final suggestion would be to look into seeing a therapist. You have so much going on in your life right now and it’s so unfair, I think it would really help to talk to a professional to help you process through it. My therapist has been a huge help to me. If you need help finding one, we have a “Find Help” tab at the top of the page that has a lot of good resources, including a 24 hour help line if you ever need to talk to someone right away. Just know that we are always here for you and we are really hoping for the best for you. You deserve so much better than all of this. You are strong and amazing and important and valuable. I wish you all the best and I sincerely hope that things start looking up for you.

    Sending all the love and good vibes your way,
    Megan

  18. Lizzi G Volunteer

    Hi girl,

    I’m so sorry that your mom’s response wasn’t what you were hoping for. I was hoping she’d be more supportive and understanding of what happened. You are not any of the horrible things you have been called. You did nothing wrong. Reading this made me so angry I really can’t come up with many words to say but I need you to know that this isn’t your fault. He’s absolutely disgusting. I don’t know all the laws but what he’s doing seems illegal, or at the minimum harassment. I think I said this on the other post but I would recommend saving everything he sends you and says to you. You don’t have to talk to the police now if you don’t want to. I can imagine it’s hard to talk about and it sounds like there’s a lot going on. But if you decide to, you have more than enough to show them. If you need someone to talk to right now, text Voice to 741741 to get support.

    Much hope,
    Lizzi