This is not my story. Writing has been a very amazing outlet for me, and has helped in my healing. These words have helped me express how I am feeling and have felt. They helped me, maybe, somehow, it can help someone else to remember who you are, and it is not just what has happened to you.
No, you do not define me.
No, those scars do not tell you my story, they tell you parts.
These cuts, the ones down to my bone, though they tell what has happened to me, but they do not define me.
You do not get to look at me and say “How insecure. What a mess. Too sensitive. She did it to herself.”
You see insecurity because you are not man enough to comfort someone who is not you.
You see a mess, because you do not appreciate what it looks like to fall apart and put yourself back together.
You see sensitive, because your soul does not go deep enough to understand others pain.
You place blame on me, because you are not man enough to admit what you did wrong and face the pain you caused someone else.
So no, you do not get to define me.
You can look, you have even touched, but you cannot define me by the pain you see in my eyes or the feel of my skin and scars.
Your judgments do not define me.
Your rationalizations of what you did, they do not mention my strength. They only illustrate your cowardice and faulty sense of power.
You, coward, do not get to define me.
The memories may ring in my ears and play back to me like the reel of film in the attic, old and worn, but they do not have the power to manipulate every choice in my life. Not anymore.
Your hands may have touched me, and left me mental scars I can never rid of…
BUT I will not be defined by what you did to me.

Join the Conversation


  1. MinZRivers Volunteer

    Buildingmyselfbetter, those are beautiful words! Thanks for sharing. I’m happy to hear writing has helped you. It helps me as well. Even though these aren’t your own words, I’m glad you find comfort with these words. I’m sure there are other who will also. Lots of love?-Kia

  2. Marissa Day Captain

    Hi BuildingMyselfBetter,

    This is so powerful. I’m glad you have found such an amazing outlet where you can put your thoughts into something so beautiful. I think this writing will have a huge impact on others as well. Thank you so much for sharing your art with us.


  3. Natalie M Day Captain

    Hi there, thank you for coming here and sharing your writing with us. Words are so powerful. I’m glad you were able to find comfort in writing your healing. Thank you for being so helpful for those who might need it!

  4. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    Thank you for sharing your writing with us. I hope this has helped you in terms of catharsis. Let us know if you need anything else.


  5. rkr18 Volunteer


    Thank you for sharing such powerful words. These words will inspire many and I myself am inspired by your strength, courage and growth. May you continue to heal and gain more strength and courage every day!

  6. blashea Day Captain

    Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us! Your words are powerful and they inspire me as I’m sure they’ll inspire others. I love how you talk about not being defined by what happened or the person who hurt you. It’s so easy to forget that sometimes. So thank you for saying what needs to be said. This is a appreciated constant reminder of strength and bravery. Thank you. Please never hesitate to share more work with us!!

  7. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi BuildingMyselfBetter,
    Thank you so much for writing this and sharing it with us. It’s powerful, and it can help so many people. This made me feel better as well, so thank you! I hope you keep writing and that you’re doing well!

  8. Jamie Marie Volunteer

    I absolutely love this, and really need this today.
    Bless your heart.

  9. MH Volunteer

    Hello BuildingMyselfBetter,
    Thank you for sharing this with us and all of the other storytellers. These words are so powerful! They speak of moving forward which is always so important. I am sure that they will help someone else. Once again, thank you!

  10. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear BuildingMyselfBetter,
    Thank you for sharing your work with us. This is beautiful and holds so much. Keep writing and keep healing.
    Sending you love and strength,

  11. Turnschaosintoart Day Captain

    Hey BuildingMyselfBetter,
    This was really interesting and a wonderful and powerful read. It relateable to so many people and I hope it helps others as well. I am glad writing is an outlet for you. I hope you continue writing. Thank you so much for sharing with us. Please feel free to share anytime. We love hearing from our storytellers. Hope life is well. But seriously keep writing. It is good for the soul. Much love

  12. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi BuildingMyselfBetter,
    Thank you for sharing this poem with us. I really liked it. It will definitely help many people.