It was a Saturday evening when I got the notification saying I got a match. We started talking every day and every night on the phone. We decided to make the next step and meet in real life. The first meeting was amazing and went extremely well. Then things got serious and since he lived 40 minutes away I asked if he wanted to stay Monday-Sunday with us and go to the coast that’s when things went down hill. That Thursday he woke me from a dead sleep and decided to have his way with me. I never felt so violated in my life. I never felt so helpless in my life. I felt disgusting and less of of a woman. The next day I kept my silence and he acted as if nothing happened. We went grocery shopping with my mom and him and I went down a separate isle and that’s when he hit me. Not only once did he hurt me he did it twice. That day his mom picked him up because my dad got called in and we couldn’t go to the coast. So he left and left me with this guilt and anger. That Sunday was Easter Sunday the day I finally filed the police reports went through things I never thought I’d have to go through and now I’m still waiting to know what is going on with my case.

Join the Conversation


  1. amitkhan2016


    I’m so sorry this happened. I hope everything goes well with the police report and whatnot. You are incredibly strong for going to the police about it and I hope they are able to throw that POS in jail. Thank you for sharing your story on here as well, you may not expect it but this helps so many people. You may have just inspired someone who was hesitant to go to the police about their experience as well. I hope things get better for you. Stay strong.

    – Amit

  2. Jacqui

    I am so sorry that you had to go through this. But you are so brave for telling your story. You said he left you with guilt and anger, but you shouldn’t feel guilty…he is the wrong one. I am so sorry that you’ve had to go through this. It is amazing that you are so strong and have had the strength to file a police report. We are here through that entire process. You should be so proud that you did that. Is there anything we can do to help? The court process can be long and confusing and you should definitely remember the take care of yourself. Thank you for sharing your story.

    1. Nikkiledgerwood Volunteer

      The amount of support that I’m getting is the only thing keeping me going! I’m so humbled by the amount of love and support I’m getting thank you so much.

  3. Bethany Volunteer

    I want you to know that you aren’t at fault because you met someone online. I don’t know if anyone told you that it was, but it was just on my heart to say so. I’m really sorry he decided to take advantage of you like that. I’m sorry he violated you and took away your control. He shouldn’t have done that. He absolutely shouldn’t have laid his hands on you. That’s not fair. I’m glad you filed a police report and took back some power. I know it’s hard. But you’re doing the right thing for you. There’s going to be a lot of waiting, a lot of probing, and a lot of unfair questions you shouldn’t have to answer. But stay strong. You are believed here. And we will listen if you need. Thank you for sharing your story.

    1. Nikkiledgerwood Volunteer

      Thank you so much Bethany! I’ve never been in a situation where I felt like I was nothing to someone. It was almost like an outer body experience in a way. I can’t thank you enough for your support it truly means a lot!

  4. Erin Day Captain

    I’m so sorry for everything that you have been through. You didn’t deserve this, and none of this was your fault? Have the police been helpful so far? Has any progress been made? You are so brave for filing a police report, and I really hope they are helping you-let us know if we can help you further as well. Thank you for sharing your story.


    1. Nikkiledgerwood Volunteer

      I spoke to a detective yesterday about it cause I felt like I was in the dark, but he has said he had an interview with him on Friday about it and his story was a little different than mine. He asked if I wanted to take it to court still and I was hesitant about it cause with my mental illness takes a lot out of me, but I said yes so I’m waiting to see if the DA picks the case up.

  5. daisy Volunteer

    You are really brave to do what you felt was right, going to the police. And for coming here and sharing your story. I hate hearing that people take advantage of anyone, especially someone you cared about and trusted. I hope that you can find some closure or at the very least – see some results in your case and justice.

    1. Nikkiledgerwood Volunteer

      Thank you so much

  6. Libertad

    I’m so proud of you, not only for sharing your story but for coming forward to the police. That action in itself is one of the most pure forms of self-love that you could extend to yourself. You are worth it. As someone who has also had experience with contacting local law enforcement, I’d like to throw it out there that if you have any questions whatsoever, feel free to reach out. Know that you did nothing wrong in this. You had no idea this guy was going to turn on you or behave in such a way. You did your due diligence by communication prior, then a date, etc. Don’t blame yourself for this. We’re here for you if you ever need us but please keep us posted.

    1. Nikkiledgerwood Volunteer

      I’ve learned a lot about myself due to this experience. I’ve learned that even in the darkest of times self love is the biggest key and no matter how bad the anxiety is I can over come it I just need to let the wave wash over me. You guys have been one of the biggest support systems since I found you guys over the weekend and I can’t thank you enough.

  7. Kristen Eby

    Hey there. I’m so, so sorry this happened to you. What he did was disgusting and criminal. You didn’t deserve it, and you certainly aren’t less of a woman. He’s less of a man. The blame falls squarely on his shoulders. I’m proud of you for filing a report – that’s really hard to do! I never thought I’d have to experience sexual assault either, and was totally thrown off when it happened to me.

    Please keep us posted if you want, and know that we’re in your corner. Thanks for sharing with us. You got this.

    1. Nikkiledgerwood Volunteer

      Thank you so much for the love and support it means the world to me!

  8. jenw

    hi Nikki. I can’t say that i know your pain, because I’m sure we all hurt differently, but i want to remind you that you are most definitely NOT any less of a woman because of a man who is less of a man. I know i don’t know you personally, but I know you will do amazing things in this life. Sending prayers and positivity

  9. Heather GG

    Hi Nikki

    I’m so sorry that happened to you. Was that just a couple of weeks ago? I hope you hear an update on your case soon. It sounds like you have a good support system, but if you need resources in your area please let us know.

    Thanks your for sharing your story

    1. Nikkiledgerwood Volunteer

      It happened a week ago last Thursday unfortunately. I still haven’t heard anything back yet but my family advocate said she’ll get back to me sometime this upcoming week with some info. Your guys’ support truly means a lot to me thank you so much!

  10. jamie

    I know we talked a little bit via email (which I will still respond to separately) but I just want you to know how sorry I am that this happened to you. This is just awful. You did an incredible thing filing a police report, and I hope it is a successful venture for you. If it goes to court, let us know if we can help you find a court advocate for you. They are generally supplied by agencies in your area, and they come free of charge. Their role is specifically to support you throughout your court case because they know how scary it can be.

    It’s a long process. I went through it with my dad. Stay strong. Remember that we are here for you whenever you need us.

    You didn’t deserve this. You aren’t at fault. And I am so sorry you’re dealing with it now. We’re on your side. Let us know how we can help.

    1. Nikkiledgerwood Volunteer

      Thank you so much for all the support jamie it truly means the world to me! I’ll be looking forward to your email I already sent you one privately! Take care!