Hey everyone, I hope all is well.
I have some updates to share:

1.) I have a new therapist, and I start treatment next week for my PTSD.
2.) I’m not sure if some of you recall from one of my previous posts, but my grandpa wrote a hurtful letter to my mom about my rape, and basically blamed me. Well, three or four weeks later, my grandpa called and apologized, which was honorable of him. I know some older generations tend to view things differently, so I’ve accepted that.

I’ll keep everyone posted when I have my new session.
Here’s to a new month, and a new start for everyone.


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24 comments

  1. Musical_Alix

    Jamie, thank you so much for updating us. I hope the new therapist helps you. It’s so good to hear that he apologized, it won’t erase what was said but at least he acknowledged what he wrote was hurtful. I hope things go well for you <3 Enjoy your new start

  2. CarmenR Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for the update, and please continue to update us! I hope your first session goes well!

    Carmen

  3. Ashley Day Captain

    Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for hoping that things are going well.
    You posted this update about a week ago, which means treatment begins soon – I hope your first therapy session goes well.
    The fact that your grandpa offered an apology is wonderful. After he apologized, how did you feel?

    You’re not to blame for the actions of your rapist.

  4. alexcostello Volunteer

    Hi there Jamie Marie,
    I can’t tell you how happy the optimism of this post makes me! Continue to move forward and continue to prosper, and on the days that are a little bit harder than others remember how far you’ve come! Please always be kind to yourself, you’re doing wonderful things, forgiveness takes an incredible amount of courage!

  5. Jordan L

    Hey,
    It’s great to hear that things are hopefully going in the right direction for you! I’m glad your grandpa called to apologize for his letter, you didn’t deserve those feelings that it cause. Always remember it wasn’t your fault. It was your perpetrator’s fault. Thank you for the update! We are always here for you

    -Jordan

  6. Edjay Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    It’s great to hear you’re about to start a new therapist. It’s also good to hear that your grandpa apologized for the hurtful letter. It’s true that older generations have different views on things, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that the letter he wrote was hurtful. Keep us updated on how your session goes!

    Edjay

  7. Natalie M Day Captain

    Jamie Marie,
    This is great to hear! It sounds like you are on the right track, and doing well. You deserve to be happy!
    Keep us posted! We look forward to hearing updates!

  8. rkr18 Volunteer

    Jamie Marie,

    I am so happy that things are getting better. You deserve this and a million more. Thanks for keeping us posted.

    -Marie

  9. Megan Volunteer

    Jamie,

    That’s awesome!! I’m glad you’re getting the help you deserve! I’m definitely about having a new start, and I think that attitude is great!

    Here’s to a new start together <3
    Megan

  10. Hannah

    Hey there,
    I’m glad your grandpa called and apologized to you. I’m sure that meant a lot to you and you deserved that. I hope your new therapist goes over well and your treatment helps you. We’re all grateful for your updates and never forget that we’ll always be here to listen. Looking forward to hearing how your session goes!

  11. brittneyhahn

    Jamie,

    I appreciate you informing and sharing us with updates. I’m so happy to hear that you have a new therapist and am excited to watch for updates on how your sessions go. Next, the blaming is so hard and I’m so you had to experience that. You are optimistic and it is wonderful you are acknowledging your grandpa’s apology and accepted it. Can’t wait to hear from you, again.

    Brittney 🙂

  12. blashea Volunteer

    Hi, thank you for the update!! I know it may not take away the hurt but I am glad that your grandpa apologized. I hope your meeting with the therapists and your treatment goes well! I look forward to the next update!!

  13. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    Thank you for updating us! It’s great that your grandfather apologized and thought about the effects of his past actions. I hope your therapist is compassionate and willing to work with you towards your recovery. Continue to stay strong. We’re here for you.

  14. haleymorecraft Volunteer

    Jamie Marie,
    I’m so happy to hear such a reassuring update! Your willing to be forgiving and reach out and get the help you need/deserve is so inspiring. With this experience, you can be a gateway for other survivors. I hope your new therapist is a great fit for you and things keep going upwards.
    Haley

  15. MinZRivers Volunteer

    Jamie Marie, I’m so happy for you and your grandpa. I knew he would come around. I’m happy you are starting therapy for your PTSD. I hope and pray your new therapist works out for you and can help you move closer to your full recovery. Much success to you and much love?-Kia

  16. Jacqui

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I’m so glad to hear from you!
    I’m glad to hear of these things. I hope it all goes well!

  17. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    I’m glad you’ll be starting treatment for you PTSD, and I’m glad your grandpa apologized. I hope that helped. Good luck with your new therapist-thanks for filling us in on how you are doing.

    Erin

  18. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I’m so happy to hear good news. Thank you for updating us. It looks like things are going to get better. Older generations don’t always understand, but it sounds like your grandpa is trying to reconcile for what he did. Let us know how things go.
    -Alyssa

  19. Kristen Eby

    Hey there! Always good to hear from you. It sounds like you’re moving in a great direction for your healing, and I’m so glad. It’s great that your grandpa apologized, and I hope that helped you find some peace.

    Kristen

  20. shann246

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thank you so much for the update! I hope the new therapist works out well. That was very nice of your grandpa to call and apologize. You’re right, older generations tend to view some things differently. I am glad he was able to own up to his hurtful actions. Please let us know how you are doing, stay strong!

    Shannon

  21. MH Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,
    Thank you for the update. I hope that the new therapist is very helpful 🙂
    I am glad that you grandpa realized her was wrong and called to apologize. It sounds like things are starting to look up for you. Stay positive! And remember, we are always here for you!
    MH

  22. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear Jamie Marie,
    Thank you for the updates. It sounds like things are looking brighter for you. I hope that all goes well with your new therapist and that you are able to work on the things that are important to you. I am also really glad that your grandfather took some time to reflect on the things he said to your mom and realized that they were hurtful. I am also glad that he actually apologized! I am sure his apology will help the whole family.
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  23. Solongago Volunteer

    Good, I am glad you found a new therapist and you will be working on the PTSD. I am also glad your grandfather called and apologized. Yes, some folks view things differently. But a lot of folks are at a loss about stuff like this, regardless of age.

    I am reading a book by Beverly Engle, I think. In it she says, send them this book to read. Well, frankly, the book is good, for someone who has been through this, or for a parent that is dealing directly with a child that is going through it, and doesn’t know where to turn, maybe. A parent that REALLY wants to help. For most folks, the book is too much. Too detailed. Lots of older folks, like my parents’ age, wouldn’t or couldn’t make it through the first couple of chapters.

    Someone needs to make a VERY simple pamphlet. “Someone I love has been Touched by Sexual Abuse/Sexual Assault, How do I help them?” It doesn’t have to go into gory details. It shouldn’t have to be hidden from the kiddies. Just some very basic, stick figure type drawings and very basic guidelines, like: Believe them, Tell them you believe them and are sorry that this happened. Listen. Most victims need someone they love, who will listen to them without judging them. Understand your own capacity for listening, and be honest if you are having trouble. Be patient, it takes time for people to work through the feelings and everyone manages these differently. Encouraging your loved one to speed up the process tends to give most victims more guilt and shame.

    It shouldn’t be a text book on sexual abuse. It should be a simple and generic in that it should apply across the board to loved ones of victims.

    But you can write your Grandfather a short letter which includes what you really want/need from him. Letters that start with an acknowledgment of something good the receiver did are more likely to be received well. Something like,

    Dear Grandpa,

    Thank you for calling mom, that really helped a lot.

    I know this is taking what seems like a long time, but I am doing the best I can. It would really help me out if you could (here insert one to three of the most important things you want your grandfather to do, or not to do, if you can turn them from negative to positive, like instead of “not call and complain to mom”, maybe “when you call, ask mom how it is going, and give her encouragement.” Something like that.) The letter is something you might want to work on with your new therapist.

    Hope your first session goes really well. Good luck.

    Sue

  24. Turnschaosintoart Day Captain

    Hey Jamie Marie,
    Thanks for keeping us updated. I am so glad you found a new thearpist. Also am happy that you are starting treatment for ptsd. I have it beneficial. I am hoping the same for you. It will be difficult but you are strong and we are here for you. Keep pressing on. And good luck.
    Kristin