Meaning life

268 48

Hi. I just don’t think i have the will for living anymore. How could i believe, i after being heartbroken, by feeling helpless everyday because i was born in a city that kills and abandon and torture domestic animals, after having mu cats which i considered my daughters being poised over and over, losing them and not being able to do ajy justice. After being sex assaulted. And living with a toxic family that instead of supporting who i am, (they don’t care how i feel and dont know about sexual ass ) they just care about them and what about what i could benefit thwm. How could i still pursue my dreams, or get my degree, or get a company, or change politics in the city, or just drop off everything and go to Europe. I couldn’t do that. I am broke. I have no job and my family sucks my energy. I guess what i am asking too much for is guidance. I hate myself for being useless

Join the Conversation


  1. e.almaguer Volunteer

    Hi Jasmine, don’t be so hard on yourself. You are strong, you are resilient and you will make it through! Your good karma will come just watch. Do not give up on life.
    We are here for you. Please feel free to reach out and talk to us!

  2. JWorks Volunteer


    It can be hard to find the will to keep going sometimes. You’re perfectly reasonable in feeling down and out, and I’m sorry you have to feel that way. I am also really sorry to hear about your cats. I love animals and it breaks my heart to know that happened to them. As others have said, texting VOICE to 741-741 could be helpful.


  3. snandi2 Volunteer

    Hi jasminejas,

    I’m so sorry that you’re feeling useless and heartbroken. As someone who loves animals, it breaks my heart to hear what happened to your cats. Do you have any trusted adults or friends you can talk to? It might be extremely difficult to talk to someone about what you are going through, but it would be a step in the right direction. Please continue to post updates and if you ever feel like you need to talk someone, text VOICE at 741-741. We are here for you.

  4. MarciaD Volunteer

    Hi again Jasminejas – I’m glad you feel you have a place to come when you feel this way. We are all here for you. I would like to encourage you to check out the “Find Help” tab at the top of the page. I think it would really help you to be able to talk to someone about all of this. I understand your feelings and voice of hopelessness. It can get better. Reaching out like you have done is the first step. Keep posting with AVFTI as we are all here for you and will continue to support you with our responses. Holding you tight with hopes that you feel better soon.

    Much love,


  5. rohina_kumar Volunteer

    Hi jasminejas,

    I’m sorry for all the things you’ve been through – you didn’t deserve to go through any of it. And I’m really sorry that these things are still haunting you. I agree that the horrific treatment of animals is wrong and I’m sorry you’ve been hearing about/witnessing such things happening in your city. I’m also incredibly sorry that you’ve been through such traumatizing experiences, that you feel that you’re not able to achieve your professional goals, and that you lack a constant support system that should be helping you through this rough patch going on. If you’re still feeling overwhelmed; we have some amazing resources you can visit on the “Find Help” tab, or you could text VOICE to 741741. Some days are worse than others, but please hang in there. For long-term recovery, I would highly recommend visiting a mental health professional (if you’re able to gain access to one) to help you process these thoughts in a manner that is healthy for you. We are here to support you through your healing journey and continue fighting like the warrior you are – soon you’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel. We’d love to hear back from you soon and until then, please treat yourself with kindness. All the love.

    – Rohina

  6. Ashley Day Captain

    Welcome back to our community, jasminejas.

    Since you are feeling heartbroken and helpless, it’s not abnormal that you feel like you don’t have the will to live right now.
    I can tell that your cats were important to you, especially since you considered them as your daughters, and I wish that you didn’t have to experience the pain of losing them. Your feelings matter and I’m thinking it would be comforting if your family treated you differently.
    It sounds like you have plans for your future (obtaining a degree, owning a company, relocating to Europe, etc.); I hope you will keep pushing through to pursue those dreams. You might not be able to follow your dreams right now, but who knows what the future holds.

    Take care of yourself.


  7. pianogirl44 Volunteer

    Hi jasminejas,

    I’m so sorry that you’re struggling right now. You have every right to be feeling down, angry, upset, disappointed. I understand how challenging it must be and how alone you must feel. I just want you to know that you’re not alone. We are here to support you. You mentioned how you wanted guidance. At the root of guidance is wanting to feel supported. I just want you to know that we can be that surrogate for you.

    Losing your pets is incredibly hard since you end up forming such a strong bond with them. They really do provide the emotional support that we need during times of stress and crisis. Additionally, being a victim of sexual assault is something that is incredibly challenging to deal with. As other volunteers have mentioned, if you need to talk to someone, please reach out to our crisis text line by texting VOICE to 741741. We also have a lot of great resources under the Find Help tab on this site. Thank you for trusting us and please come back to work through any complex feelings. Sometimes writing out how we feel can be incredibly helpful in our healing.

    You are questioning so much, but sometimes you don’t need to have everything figured out. We don’t need to have all of the answers to everything that is going on in life. I understand how difficult life is for you right now. I hope that you can find some relief by reading these responses from our amazing volunteers. Also, it may be a great time to find an activity that will help you to de-stress and feel less overwhelmed by everything that is going on. Sometimes taking a walk to clear your thoughts is a great healer. I hope that you can find inner peace and healing. Please feel free to write us back with an update.

  8. ajklessig Volunteer

    Hi Jasminejas,

    You are not useless! You have so much power and potential in life. I am deeply sorry to hear about what you have witnessed and experienced throughout your life. I love my animals more than anything in the world so I understand how helpless you may have felt.
    You have already taken a great step just by posting on here. Additionally, the fact that you are thinking about dreams and the future is amazing! Having the goal of getting your degree, getting a job, changing politics, are all great goals to have. Aspirations can be such motivating factors to help bring you out of the way you are feeling. Your passion for animals could also be a great place for you to start if you are interested in animal shelters and things like that. As others have mentioned, starting small and progressing upwards is a great way to go. Also, please know that it is okay to distance yourself from people who make you feel drained and exhausted, even if they are family. You deserve to be surrounded by people who are going to support and uplift you!
    There are a ton of free resources on the “Find Help” tab that may be of use to help you manage all that you are dealing with. I wish you a lot of future success and happiness.

  9. Ruby98 Volunteer

    Hi Jasminejas,
    I am so sorry for this rough time in your life right now. I know that you must be going through a lot right now, and the way you feel is completely understandable. However, you are not useless you are strong and resilient and passionate for those fur babies. You have endured so much and have very inspirational goals in life and that enough is a big round of applause for you because even after how exhausted you must feel you have a passion for justice. Don’t give up, pursue your dreams…there is someone or some animals out there waiting for your kindness and care to cross their path. Remember one thing, this is not your fault okay. We are here to help and support you. I appreciate you sharing your story, we are here for you. Text VOICE to 741741 if you are thinking of harming yourself. Stay safe jasminejas.

  10. haesol Volunteer

    Hi jasminejas,

    I’m sorry to hear you’ve been going through a tough moment in life right now; i’m sorry that you don’t have the support system you need from your family, and it’s really sad to hear about losing your cats. The fact you wrote that post, though, goes to show how resilient and strong you are despite everything. It’s okay to have bad days, weeks, even months, it doesn’t mean you are not healing or halting the process–remember healing is different for everyone and it is not linear. You’ve been doing great simply by not giving up. The world is out there for you, even if the circumstances aren’t the best right now, tomorrow might be different. Don’t give up on your dreams, you’re absolutely capable of achieving them, even if it takes time. Everything passes eventually and no storm lasts forever.
    If you feel like you need immediate help you can go to the Find Help tab ( )
    We are here for you, we believe in you.
    Stay safe,

  11. Ochoa Volunteer

    Hi Jasminejas,

    I’m sorry to hear about the struggles you’ve been going through lately. I want to be the one to tell you that you are not useless and I completely understand where you are coming from. You are not alone in this. We are here for you whenever you need us.

  12. brookeallnutt Volunteer

    Hi jasminejas,

    I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling lately. You’ve been through so much, and your feelings are completely understandable. However, you are definitely not useless! You are passionate about justice which is amazing, and you deserve to follow your dreams and have a good life. Don’t be afraid to ask for help whether it be from a support group, a therapist, or people you trust. Also take time for yourself and the things you enjoy. Pursuing your dreams takes time, but if you keep at it you can achieve them. Like the others have suggested, breaking down your goals into smaller goals can help you start on the path to achieving your dreams. And remember, we are always here for you when you want to talk!

  13. Edjay Volunteer

    Hi jasminejas,

    It’s totally understandable to feel frustrated when it feels like no one is by your side. It seems like you have so much that you want to achieve, and it’s okay if it feels like it’s too much. It’s sad that you feel that you’re useless, but that is definitely not true. I don’t know your entire situation so I’m not able to give you guidance, but please know that we’ll always be here for you. Take care.

  14. jcas120 Volunteer

    Hi jasminejas,

    I’m so sorry that you’ve been struggling lately. You’ve been through so much lately but please know that you didn’t deserve anything that happened to you and none of it was your fault. I know things look hopeless right now, but I know that you’re very strong for enduring so much. You are most certainly not useless, you came here with a lot of bravery today. I know you mentioned that you don’t have the will for living anymore, so please text 741-741 if you feel like harming yourself or others and they will assist you.

    I’m so thankful you came here to share with us today. You’re very strong and will make it through!

  15. Ryan4121 Volunteer

    Jasminejas- Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry you are working with these emotions. I hope you understand, especially after reading these comments, how much we all care about you. We are so thankful you shared with us. The only thing I will add is when life feels like it hits rock bottom, that is the best time to keep going. Like with the stock market, you want to invest when stock is low and will get better. Same with life. Things can only go up, so you might as well be around for the better times. This is the time to fight, learn and hang in there. We are here for you and so thankful you shared with us.


  16. Mary Ella Volunteer

    Hi jasminjas,

    Thank you for sharing. You have every right to feel everything you are feeling right now, especially after what you have gone through. Everything you have gone through are a lot, and I understand why you feel as though it is hopeless now. However, I believe that you are a valuable addition to this world. You seem like you want to make a difference in the world. I can also tell that you love animals, and hey, that might be something you could focus on. Perhaps, spending your time at a shelter would be beneficial and that could also help you spend time away from your family.

    It may seem tough right now, but I am here to tell you that you are not alone. Everything you’re feeling is valid, and do not lose hope. If you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, this website can provide you that support. There are also hotlines available on our Find Help page. I’m sure there are many resources available for you when you do need that help and that little push. Just know that you have a community here, and you are stronger than you think! You’ve gotten this far, so hang in there.


  17. musicislove

    Hi jasminejas,

    I’m so sorry you’re struggling right now. What you’ve been through is unfair and I’m so sorry life keeps throwing curveballs at you. You are not useless and you deserve to have a happy life. Even if moving to a different country isn’t possible, other changes might be, and no matter what, you deserve to live to see what they are. I’m so sorry you lost your cats, I know pets easily become family and I can’t imagine the heartbreak that brought and I’m sorry your family is so draining and toxic for you. Dealing with the aftermath of sexual assault on top of all of that must be so exhausting, are there any activities you like to do that help you de-stress and relax? If there are, maybe you should try implementing some into your normal routine to see if that helps. If you need to talk to someone, please reach out to our crisis text line by texting VOICE to 741741. We also have a lot of great resources under the Find Help tab on this site. Thank you for trusting us and please come back anytime.


  18. KatherineL Volunteer

    Hey jasminejas,

    Your feelings are totally valid. You’re not alone in feeling this way either after being through so much harm and hurt. You’re not useless and you do add value to the world and those around you (both human and animal).

    You don’t have to make huge moves right away like going to Europe, but start small. What is something you enjoy doing? If you’re able to work, maybe finding a job that isn’t too emotionally taxing to help you find a sense of independence and contribution. Volunteering may also bring you a sense of purpose and fulfillment — maybe at your local animal shelter? Getting out to interact with others may help to bring back some of the good energy that your family is taking from you. You can gradually start working toward Europe or wherever you’d like to go, and create distance from your family if that is what you want to do. You can absolutely still pursue your dreams, but it can be intimidating sometimes to jump right in. Creating a plan or setting smaller goals can be a good first step and bring hope at all the wonderful things that lie ahead.

    Hang in there!

  19. Thomas Volunteer

    Hi jasminejas,

    Thank you for sharing with us. You have the right to feel the way you do. I’m sorry that you have been through so much, but you aren’t useless. It’s clear from what you wrote that are passionate about animals and that you have ideas about what should happen politically. You also seem to have considered moving to Europe. These are all passions and goals. Even with no money and all that has happened making these seem impossible for you, Don’t give up! You can still live the life you want to live. And remember, you aren’t alone. Please let us know what else we can do to help and feel free to post more as you feel comfortable. You have already persevered through so much. You’re strong and you can keep going!

  20. colton95 Volunteer

    There is no such thing as a useless person. People who feel useless just have to discover their purpose in life and I’m sure that you will be able to find yours if you keep trying! I know it won’t be easy, but I assure you it’ll be worth it in the long run. I’m sorry about you losing your cats and your toxic and unsupportive family. I know you don’t know people on this site personally, but many of us do genuinely care for your well-being and want to help you if possible and listen to you. So feel free to share more often your personal thoughts! Click on the FIND HELP tab to search for resources that could help you if you want! Stay strong and safe!

  21. alexiswilliams

    Hi Jasminejas,

    You have a right to the way you are feeling. Although you mentioned that you feel useless, know that your passion for animals is a gift, and something that you should not give up on. You are stronger than you know, and your courage for telling your story is inspiring.
    Sending strength and hope.

  22. alexiswilliams

    Thank you for sharing your story. You have a right to the way that you feel. Remember that you are not alone. You are so strong, and you are not useless. Your passion for animals is a gift, don’t give up on that.
    Sending you strength and perseverance.

  23. ZJC9753 Volunteer

    Hi Jasminejas,

    I am so very sorry for everything you have gone through. You are so strong for coming and sharing your feelings and your story. None of these things that happened to you were your fault and it is so unfair that your family has not supported you, you deserve so much better than that. I want you to know that you are not useless, you are courageous. Nobody should have to experience the things that you have gone through and the only person to blame are the people who caused you harm. There is a “find help” tab on the website that has a lot of resources that you can utilize. Here is the link for you

    I know it can be difficult to move forward after so much pain but I believe in you and I know you can do it. You are so courageous and I am sorry that so many people have failed you. We are all here for you and want to support you. Please share with us how you are feeling whenever you need to or want to.

  24. MySunshineD Volunteer

    Hello Jasminejas ~ Thank you for sharing yourself with us. I am very sorry to hear that your having a hard time. I wanted to reach out to you today and just check in with you. I am hoping that you are feeling much better after talking about what is upsetting you. And, I hope that you did check out our “find Help” tab and are able to utilize what is there for you. Do you have any groups in your area that you can join that are based on your interests? For example: maybe a group of people that love Europe and want to travel there as well? This may focus your attention on things that YOU want to do in life and that bring you happiness. We are all here for you. We care and would love to see you succeed in your life. If your feeling up to it, we would also love to get updates on how you are doing. Daily/weekly, what ever you need. We are here for you. Stay stong!

  25. Neesha Volunteer

    You have been through a lot from losing your cats, being assaulted, and being around family that sucks your energy. I can imagine you are feeling hopeless and that is understandably exhausting. I admire your strength to ask for you guidance. What you are feeling is a real health issue and with small steps it can be treated. If you are willing I would suggested talking to a doctor and counselor, you can find resources on the “Find Help” tab

  26. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi jasminejas,
    I hear you’re feeling hopeless. Hopelessness can be exhausting, and I empathize with you. Being around toxic family members can drain your energy. You’re not useless. You’re going through a lot, and it makes sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed. My guidance for you would be to take things one day at a time. The small steps can make such a difference in the long run. We may not see it in the moment, but when we look back, we can appreciate how far we’ve come. You are important, and I believe you can make a difference in a way that speaks to you and to others. I would also recommend self care – do things that help you de-stress (maybe reading a book, watching your favorite show/movie, etc.).
    Thank you for this update. We’re here to hold space for you and your experiences. You deserve to live life on your own terms and be happy, and I hope you find peace. We believe in you, and we’re here for you.

  27. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear jasminejas,
    Thank you for coming back. It is understandable that you are feeling down, you have been through a lot and it doesn’t seem like you have any support. We are always here to listen and to help hold some of that heaviness. You are not alone and you are needed here on this earth. There are so many very tiny ways people make change and affect the lives of others that do not require schooling or money. Find little things that you enjoy and do them. Keep doing them and notice the little things others offer to you.
    Sending you love and strength,

  28. Breanna Volunteer

    Hi jasminejas,

    Thanks for coming back – I’m glad you did. I’m sorry you’re feeling so down and hopeless. What you’ve been through was tough and I understand how you are feeling this way, and not having a supportive family makes it really difficult. But I believe in you. You are important and you can do great things. We care about you. You are not useless. What have you been doing lately to take care of yourself? Sometimes when things seem like they’re falling apart, the things that are enjoyable and make you happy often hit the back burner. But maybe taking some time to engage in enjoyable hobbies or some simple self care can help you feel better and help you manage. You can do this. You can also explore our Find Help tab for a variety of resources that may help (books, crisis lines, resource centers for counseling/advocacy/shelter, etc.). Keep your head up and stay strong.

    Sending you much love and strength,

  29. almax Volunteer

    Hello jasminejas,
    Thank you for sharing with us, I am very sorry for all the trauma you have been through, you have a lot of strength and I know you can get through this and overcome the negative feelings. You are very important, not at all useless. I am sorry your family doesn’t support you, but here at AVFTI we support you 100% and know you can accomplish your dreams. Prove everyone that has caused you to hurt wrong. You got this, just push one day at a time, if you have someone you can rely on like a friend, make plans with them to help distract you and guide you as well. But know we are always here for you. We have other resources available to you as well in the find help tab just above your post. I wish you the very best.

  30. zelda Volunteer

    Hi, Jasmine, welcome back!

    I’m sorry for what you have been through; it sounds like your trauma wounds are still open and sore, and your family is making your healing journey more difficult. Do you have anyone you can rely on at this point in time? Maybe staying with a friend or close relative would help improve your mood and will to live.

    You are so important. And you’re valued and needed here on this Earth. I know your cats must love you, and they would never want anything bad to happen to you. There are resources you can browse in our Find Help tab of the website. Maybe you can find a support group or hotline that can help you cope with your current situation.

    I will keep you in my thoughts. You are a beautiful person inside and out. We care for you very much. Wishing you ☮️ and ❤️

  31. Elvia29 Volunteer

    Hi Jasminejas,
    I’m sorry that this happened to you and no one should go through this. You are not useless. You are going to get through this. At first, it might be hard but you will overcome this. You have to believe in yourself because that’s the only thing you have is yourself. Don’t let anyone stop you from what you want to do in life. Nothing in the world is impossible, you can do anything you put your mind to do. Just take everything one step at a time, it might take time but don’t give up. You are not alone in this, we are here to help you with what we can. I know your strong and you’re going to get through this.

  32. yailinrenteria Volunteer

    Hi there Jasminejas,
    Thank you for sharing your story. I hear your pain, we hear your pain, and you are not alone. If you need emotional support we are here for you. You are strong and what you have been through is a lot and no one should have to go through that. You are still here. Pursuing your dreams may seem far-fetched right now but they are not, if you set your mind to it you can achieve it. Take it slow. There is no rush in making your dreams come true this instant, you have your whole life ahead of you. If you ever feel the need to share again we are here for you. We listen. You deserve happiness.

  33. mjy1999 Volunteer

    Thank you for sharing your story. I am glad you did. Take it one day at at time do some small things that will help get you buy.

  34. jlanderos16 Volunteer

    Goodevening Jasmine!
    Thank you for sharing your story with us! And hearing your pain! I’s sorry about hearing your trauma and you don’t deserve that in life! Don’t rush your dreams to happen right away or soon, it takes time and you could accomplish all your dreams! You’re capable to do anything and you’re a strong human being coming with a family that sucks up your energy but you’re still here in life fighting your hardest.

  35. Jamie Marie Volunteer

    Thank you for sharing your story with us.
    I’m so sorry for the trauma you’ve endured, and it wasn’t your fault. I know what it feels like to have no idea where you’re heading, or if there’s any life after abuse.
    Take life one day a time, and realize you’re capable of anything. You’re strong and loved, and deserve happiness no matter what.

  36. dzreid Volunteer

    Hi there jasminejas,
    Thank you for sharing! I’m glad you did! I hear your pain! You matter & deserve to live. It breaks my heart hearing your struggles & knowing that you feel like you’re alone. You’re not alone! I believe in you. I can understand your feeling of uselessness, but believe me, you’re not useless! Take it slow & go one day at a time. Sometimes taking things minute by minute is often all we can do to get by. Take some deep breaths & remind yourself you’re not alone. You have a support system with us. I had someone tell me once, even though things may seem bleak, I can control how things turn out. You can decide when & how to turn the page & begin a new chapter. Don’t allow any one or anything stop you from going after your dreams! You can reach for your dreams. That is possible! You are worth it, are a fighter & stronger than you think. I hope you will find hope, comfort, encouragement, & support from us here! Come back & share again anytime!

  37. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi jasminejas,
    I’m so sorry that this happened to you. You are not useless. You are important. You can follow your dreams and do anything you want. You have the power to control yourself and be happy. If you want to get a degree or go to Europe you can. I’m sorry that your family doesn’t help you, but here at AVFTI we care and we want the best for you. If you need anything we are here for you. You can also you our find help tab at the top right of this page. Don’t doubt yourself or your worth. You are strong. Thank you for trusting and sharing your story with AVFTI.

  38. cindy024 Volunteer

    Hi, jasminejas,
    I hear you, everything will be fine. Just keep on pushing yourself on positive energies and achievements. There are numerous amount of resources that can help you during this difficult time. Resources: around you. this may help you if you need more assistance and guidance. I support you, this platform supports you no matter what. You are not useless. You are an inspiration and you are strong for sharing your story here.

  39. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    I am so sorry you’re feeling like this right now. You are not worthless-even in pre-pandemic, our society does not do a good job of collective care, and helping us to care for ourselves. Especially now, I know it’s even more difficult. We are here for you. We support you.You matter. Please text our crisis text line, VOICE to 741 741 if you need more help. Come back here to share anytime.


  40. aegardiner Volunteer

    Hi jasminejas,

    I’m sorry to hear about everything that is going on, but please hang in there. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to pursue your dreams. You are not useless. We are happy that you reached out to us here and everyone here cares about and your well-being. I noticed that you are in Brazil so reaching out to the resources on our page are not accessible for you, but it looks like Adrian found a potential resource – have you been able to check into that? Do you have any friends in your area you could talk to if you’re not finding support from your family? The job market is tough right now with covid, and I’m sure it’s no different where you are. Are there any opportunities that you are aware of? We are here for you any time you need us as well, so please do reach out whenever you need.

  41. eagle206 Volunteer

    Hi jasminejas,

    Thank you for coming here to talk with us. We are all here for you. Life can be so hard, but I promise it’s so worth it. So many people want you here and love you so much. You aren’t useless. It sounds like you have a lot of things stressing you out right now and it’s completely normal to be overwhelmed. That is human. Don’t blame yourself for not always being able to do everything! Try and focus on one thing at a time. Maybe just your degree to start. We have some amazing people to talk to here: and we are always here for you. If you can start to move away from certain toxic energies I think that would only help! Maybe taking some space from your family or a day away from the city if that is stressing you out.

    Stay strong,


  42. adrian Volunteer

    Hi, Jasminjas-

    Thank you for updating us. You are brave to come back and share your story and current situation. It’s TOUGH being alive- so many twists and turns, and so few support along the way. You did not deserve to be sexually assaulted and you deserve a loving environment to live in.

    I noticed below that you are in Brazil and looking for some support. I found this great website that may help-
    They offer assistance online (chat), on the phone, and through Email! I have not used it personally, but it looks similar to the American websites that you may have read about by other volunteers. I encourage you to reach out when you need it most. We are definitely here to listen and support, but sometimes we might not be here when you need us, 24/7. I hope writing in to AVFTI helps in the moment, though, as sometimes writing what we’re feeling is the first step to acknowledging it is happening, then resting in knowing that we are still alive, still breathing, and our heart is still beating, and sometimes (no matter what the world says) that is enough!

    I hope you are feeling encouraged as you read through these comments. We are here for you! Keep fighting the good fight – you deserve place here on mother earth.

    Take care,

  43. caitlynmmiller Volunteer

    Hi jasminejas,

    I hear you. I know what that feeling is like, but you are NOT useless. I promise. I’m so proud you took a step to share your feelings here. I can assure you every single one of us here at AVFTI cares about you and your life, even if we don’t know you personally. I know you mentioned in a reply that you’re in Brazil and can’t reach some hotlines, but I would advise you to google hotlines near you and see what you can gain access to. Maybe instead of chatting face to face virtually with your psychologist, you can start with texting? That’s my other piece of advice. Keep us updated if you can. Your life matters, even if things seem bleak right now. You deserve all the love and happiness in the world. We’re here for you.


  44. Marissa Day Captain

    Hey jasminejas,

    Thanks for the update. I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough time. I want you to know that you’re NOT useless. You’re stuck in a rut and it may seem impossible to get out of, but please don’t give up. Just take things one step at a time. Have you looked into getting a job? I think McDonalds and Walmart (and I’m sure other companies) help pay for higher education, but I can understand not wanting a job where customer service is so central to the position. It’s important to find a position that you are (at least) somewhat interested in because that will help make going to work so much more enjoyable. But I’m sure you know that.

    Like lizzi said, your support system doesn’t have to be your family. It may be hard, but please know that you don’t owe them anything. If they don’t support you, they don’t deserve you. I hope you know that we are here for you no matter what. We can be your support system! We believe in you and we KNOW that you are going to do great things. Again, just take baby steps. One small thing at a time. I promise you, the small steps all add up! Please let us know if there’s any way we can help you. We are here for you no matter what!


  45. lizzi

    HI jasminejas,
    I hear your pain. I’m sorry for everything you’ve gone through, all the heartbreak and trauma without the help of a supportive family. I know it doesn’t seem possible right now in this moment, but you can heal from this. You can pursue your dreams, get a degree, get a job, move wherever you’ll be happiest. You can have supportive people in your life… it doesn’t have to be your family. You can get away from them. I’m not saying you can do this today, but you can work towards it. You aren’t useless. You’re important in this world, and you’re going to go on to do amazing things in life. Have you talked to a counselor about what all you’ve been through? That could be a really good start to getting your life on track for what you want it to be. Healing takes time, but it’s worth it. And then you’re able to pursue all these amazing dreams and enjoy life like you deserve to be doing. Thank you for sharing with us. We believe you, we support you, and we care about you. Please post again if there’s more you want to share or if there’s anything more we can do to support you through this time.

    1. jasminejas

      Thanks so much. I was seeing psychologist before pandemic, but she had to travel. And i could only do online, but i feel shy. And the textline seems great but im in brasil. But thank

  46. candyappleb Volunteer

    Hi Jasminejas,

    I am so sorry that you are feeling this way right now. Please reach out to our crisis text line by texting VOICE to 741741 and you will be connected with someone immediately to help with these feelings. Please do not feel that you are useless. I understand how you may be feeling overwhelmed. We are here for you! We believe you, and we support you. We also have a list of resources all across the country some of which could be local and able to help support you in different ways. Please feel free to reach out to us again anytime you need to. Sending you strength.

    All the best,

  47. Solongago Volunteer

    Hi Jasminejas, I am sorry you are currently feeling overwhelmed. Have you checked out the tab above, “Find Help”? Writing your story is fine and we may be able to read/listen to you, but we are not always right here, and the find help tab can provide you with more immediate response if you feel like you are in a crisis.

    There is so much going on in the world right now, that what you are currently feeling is understandable. Adding to the current state of things a toxic family that sucks your energy and a history of being assaulted, being broke and out of work, it is way too easy to get down on yourself. You are the only You you have. (Not sure if that was Jiminy Cricket or Dr. Seuss.) Right now a lot of folks are coming off of unemployment and isolation because of the Covid. There may not be a better time to change paths and get a job, in that you really don’t have to explain why you aren’t currently working.

    When we are in our bad place, it is hard to see options. It is hard to feel that we have the energy or the brains or the will to try to make things better for ourselves. The thing is, it’s temporary. Your toxic family is not. Your history of abuse is not. But the feelings of depression, helplessness, or being useless these are temporary and sometimes we do need some help in getting through them. Nothing wrong with that. It is a sign of strength to realize we are in a bad place, and that we need help, and to reach out for that help.

    You have been through some bad stuff, and you deserve to have good things happen in your life. There is good in every day, we have to train ourselves to look for it. There is hope. There is healing. You are not useless. And you are worth going after your dreams. If you can break your dreams down into goals and you can break goals into steps. You’re there. You can do this.