I wanted out of this life and family, I needed it. After I had finally graduated highschool, I broke up with my girlfriend (her parents were against same sex relations, it was too difficult to do anything with her because of it.), I got a shit job at a fast food restaurant, and met the lunatic that I thought would save me and take me out of this situation.
We started dating after 2 months of knowing eachother. I was doing drugs and he was my (and the whole towns) supplier. I was drunk daily, walking around chugging literal bottles of wine to myself. Doing LSD, ecstacy, shrooms, whatever I could get my hands on to not be me anymore. I wasn’t dealing with my problems to say the least, just looking for a quick escape.
We had dated 2 years, I had been arrested 4 times for his drug operation, however, he always paid my fines and court fees. And always kept that factor hovering over my head, as if I owed him my relationship for that.
Eventually, someone gave me the low down that he cheated on me, I felt that meant he didn’t like me anymore. After all, he was starting to get really physical with me, making me feel like he honestly did not want me. I felt like I could finally leave the shit show without any set backs, or fear.
When I broke up with him he began stalking me. Asking where I was at, asking my friends leaving notes/presents to them to give me or calling/visting my work and local places I had a tendency to visit. He would follow me from afar, and threaten anyone I spoke to, telling them that I was still his. At certain points, even getting physical with some of these people.
When he was really drunk he would drive to my house and break in, i kept asking my mother and step father to change the key code, but they never did. He would break in and steal items, money, and sometimes crawl into bed with me to hold me or see if I had wanted to “fuck one last time.” It was utterly fucking terrifying. I would take videos of him drunkenly crawling on the floor, trying to be sneaky.
At one point he drove into a ditch at the front of my house and had to call a tow truck to get him out before we awoke. He was wasted.
This went on for about 8-9 months as I tried to keep getting a court order of protection which would turn into a 2 year restraining order. My parents did nothing to protect me or make me feel safe. They blamed me for his actions and told me to spend less time at the house because he was ruining the sleep schedule for the younger kids who were still in school.
So I started house hopping. Sleeping at houses of random friends, acquaintances, drinking buddies, druggies, coworkers, fuck buddies. He would ask everyone where I was at, each and every night. Most nights were okay, some were very not.
During this time period, I had met my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. Some of the, ex fuck buddies hated that I was settling down and trying to clean up my act. They would tell him where I was at, and with who and gave him a direct address, 40 minutes away from where he lived.
He would sneak up to the house late at night, trying to tear screens off the window as to sneak in, jiggling the door handles to see if they are unlocked, banging on windows and at one point smashing in my current boyfriend’s car window with a hammer. My current boyfriend tried to lighten up the situation by giving him the nickname “Stoner Thor”, but I still feel bad for all that shit happening to this day.
Even when I got the court order, the ex still tried to show his possession over me. Showing up at concerts, shows, etc. I never called the cops because I figured they wouldn’t do anything to help anyways, we would just go to management and have him kicked out.
About 2 months after he decided to respect my court order, he was arrested for having a gun in his car, and apparently started selling and using heroin and more. The friend group I had all new that this kid with 2 felony counts got an illegal gun only a few weeks after our breakup. They gave him my address and my locations daily, while in possession of a fire arm. They all knew he was stalking me as well.
He messaged me around the time the court order finally expired. He sent me a facebook message telling me how his, “timeout is finally over,” and “I see you’re still seeing that guy,” but he “would still like to talk to me about the last 2 years to see how I’ve changed”, etc. That happened about 4 months ago, of course I didn’t reply.
I became, and am still, too nervous to go outside and enjoy myself, or get close people. Essentially everyone who said they would keep me safe, betrayed me. I’m still afraid that I’ll see him randomly one day.