Hey AVFTI family, I just wanted to pop in and let everyone know I’m back from my mini trip to Pittsburgh. Unfortunately, as I told my mom, getting out of the area did help a little, but my PTSD would follow me anywhere I go. I had a minor breakdown at a milkshake shop, so it doesn’t matter exactly where I go. But all in all, it was a busy trip for me so I barely had time to do my own personal shoots.
But I did, however, earn enough funds for my CBD oil, which I have taken already from PureKana. I know it’ll take a while, as well as giving my new therapy a chance once I get seen.
But I do feel depressed today seeing as though tomorrow is my deceased friend’s Birthday (she would’ve been 26), so I’m just in a depressive state of mind, but I did learn while I was in Pittsburgh that I was accepted into a mental health wellness program.
The program would be for 3 months of training, plus 6 months of a paid internship and then afterwards get a career in that field. Part of me wants to move back to the city, but my mom is worried I’d end up slipping and go through more stress due to this condition, which i can see her point. I want to go since I know people I can move in with, and I’d have a support system up there as well, but I will be meeting with the program director in July for my next visit.
There’s just too much on my mind with my future…


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18 comments

  1. Marissa Day Captain

    Jamie Marie,

    I’m sorry that your PTSD followed you to Pittsburgh. I can’t imagine how hard that must be, but it sounds like things are going well for you right now and I’m so glad to hear that! The program you got accepted into sounds incredible and like an amazing opportunity – please keep us updated on how that turns out! It must be hard to make the decision, because as you said, your mom has a valid point. Maybe you need to get away for a while though. If you go, that doesn’t mean you can never come back… remember that.

    I’m so glad you gave us an update on what’s going on. Don’t hesitate to post as often as you’d like – we’re here to help and to listen!

    Marissa

  2. MinZRivers Volunteer

    Jamie Marie, thank you for the. Update. It’s always good to know how you are doing. Congratulations on getting in the program! I do agree it will do wonders for your career. Self care is always what’s most important. If you think moving will hurt more than help, maybe you can use that opportunity as a sort of spring board to other local positions in your field. Don’t push yourself too far past your comfort zone. I wish you much success and love ?-Kia

  3. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    Thank you for giving us an update. I’m so sorry about your loss. It can be more difficult on birthdays and anniversaries.
    I’m so happy you were accepted to the program! I think it could be a great opportunity. I like what blashea said about removing fear from the decision. There is a lot to consider, but no matter what you decide to do, you have a lot of possibilities for your future. I know you can figure out what’s best for you.
    We’re always here when you need to talk.

  4. Ash Volunteer

    Hey there,
    Getting accepted into that program is a great accomplishment!! It sounds like you had a lot going on during your trip, but that’s okay. I know it must be hard being so close to your friends birthday. But it is okay to have sad feelings it’s always hard remembering those no longer with us. We are always here for you 🙂

  5. Edjay Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    It seems like a lot happened in your trip to Pittsburgh. It’s totally understandable that you’re feeling depressed since it would’ve been your friend’s 26th birthday. However, congratulations on getting accepted to a mental health wellness program! There’s definitely a lot of factors to consider whether or not you should go through the program, and I wish you the best in deciding what’s best for you and your future.

    Edjay

  6. Megan Volunteer

    Hey Jamie,

    That’s awesome that you got accepted to that program!! It sounds really cool and like a great opportunity. Obviously there are a lot of things to consider when moving, but I think that if it’s what you want to do then you should follow your heart and move back to the city! Like you said, you have friends and a support system there that can help you out. Whatever you decide to do, it looks like your future is going to be bright! I’m excited for you!

    Much love,
    Megan

  7. Natalie M Day Captain

    Hey Jaime Marie,
    I’m really sorry you are going through a tough time, and I’m sorry that you lost your friend. None of this that you are going through is easy, but I believe you have the strength to get through it. I am very excited to hear that you got accepted into the mental health wellness program! That is amazing, congrats!!! I know there is a bit of worry from your mom, but you have to be what is best for you and what will make you happy, but also remember your mental health must come first. Stay strong! We are here for you!

  8. rkr18 Volunteer

    Jaime Marie,

    Thanks for keeping us updated. I am truly sorry about the loss of your friend.
    I am excited that for you that you were accepted into the mental health wellness program and that it will help you create the support system that you need. I know your journey is challenging so continue to keep us updated and we are here for you.
    -Marie
    -Marie

  9. blashea Volunteer

    Hi! I am sorry to hear about your friend. But I am so proud of you for getting accepted into that program. I know you will do great at whatever you decide to do. You have to remove fear from the decision, and see what you decide then. You have to do whatever is going to make you happiest. I hope therapy and the CBD oil help and that you begin to feel better soon!! We all believe in you and support you whole-heartedly. Thank you for continuing to keep us updated on your journey.

  10. zboone29 Volunteer

    The future can seem like a scary concept, especially when living with PTSD. The program sounds like a good opportunity for you to learn, get hands on and grow more, and with a huge amount of self-care you could do really good. Her concerns are definitely valid, and it’s a good idea to take life one step at a time, as well as wanting to strive for more. Having a good support system is incredible when it comes to moving forward, to taking those steps. We believe in you! Don’t hesitate to keep us updated on what’s going on.

  11. alexcostello Volunteer

    Hi there Jamie Marie,
    Thank you so much for messaging us again, it is wonderful to hear from you as always. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re not feeling very well at the moment but we are here for you and will be here for you through everything so please don’t hesitate to message whenever you wish to. Congratulations on getting accepted into the program, that’s an amazing achievement and you should be incredibly proud of yourself, we all certainly are! It sounds like you’re thinking through everything very well and weighing up your options and putting all the right mechanisms in place! I think definitely take some time to kind of process your mum’s concerns and figure out ways that they kind be monitored and processed as they come! But goodness me I think it’s amazing the thought and the work you’re putting into this and you should be incredibly proud! Please message us if you need anything at all.

  12. kelly Day Captain

    Congrats on getting accepted, Jamie Marie! I’m sure there’s a lot of pros and cons to weigh out, but that sounds amazing. Sorry to hear about your breakdown, but it sounds like you were able to work through it and I think that’s great. Even though the PTSD’s not gone, you have the tools to work through it where ever you are. Hope the meeting with the program director goes well. And let us know how the CBD oil works out, I’ve been trying it out also.

  13. MH Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,
    I’m sorry about the breakdown you experienced but happy to hear that you are focusing on moving forward. Congratulations on being accepted into the mental health wellness program! It sounds like a great experience. Making a big decision is always a little scary- however if you want to try it out and you know that you will have a support system, I think you should go for it! It may be hard at times, but try not to let anything hold you back! Meet with the program director to see how it goes/how you feel about it after the meeting. And remember, we are always here for you. Thank you for the update!
    MH

  14. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear Jamie Marie,
    I am so glad you enjoyed yourself on your trip and congratulations on your acceptance to the program you applied for! What an awesome opportunity. If you have a plan and a support system, it is defiantly something worth considering. Sometimes we have to do what we need to do for ourselves despite the best intentions of our loved ones.
    I am sorry about your friend and hope that you made it through the day without any major setbacks. Keep pushing forward!!
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  15. Solongago Volunteer

    I am sorry about your friend. Anniversaries like birthdays and such are just difficult for a while. It gets easier after some time.

    What will the program prepare you to do as a career? It sounds interesting. What do You think about whether it will trigger your PTSD? Is this what your mom is afraid of?

    Wishing for you the best. Good luck.

  16. Turnschaosintoart Day Captain

    HeyJamie Marie,
    Welcome back! And congrats on getting into that program. That is some exciting news. It will be awesome to start a new adventure. I am glad you had a nice vacation even with a little hiccup but that happens. I am sorry about your friend. I know how that feels and on days like birthdays or anniversaries I like to honor the ones I lost by doing something they would have liked or what we did together. It gives me comfort and makes me feel a little less sad. Let us know how the CBD OIL is. Much love
    Kristin

  17. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    It’s good to hear back from you. I’m happy you had fun in Pittsburgh except for the one incident at the milkshake shop. Congratulations on the mental health wellness program. Good luck with your future. Everything will fall into place. Thanks for updating us.
    -Alyssa

  18. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    Hi Jamie,

    Thanks for coming back to share more with us. I’m glad you had a good trip to Pittsburgh, and congrats on getting in to that mental health wellness program! If this is something you really want to do, I think you should go for it-where ever this program is, we could maybe help you find resources in your area for further support. Let us know what else we can do-we are here for you.

    Erin