I’m now over what happened and I want to be a voice

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I was a middle school student at a private school in a small city in Northern Kentucky. It started my 7th grade year, my attackers were peers who were just a grade above me. There was show running on MTV called “Jackass” and a strange segment called Party Boy where 5 to 7 people would find a stranger in public and start dry humping them, often times removing their own clothing near their crotches. This is what happened to me on a weekly basis for 3 months by a group of 8th grade students. They thought it was funny to see me cry and curl up onto the ground. What really made this a bad experience was when they would pretend to take off their pants buy removing their belt buckles and by singing the song that went along with it. I felt so emasculated and I could tell no one about this. Who was going to believe me? A friend once saw it happen in the hallway and told me I should swing a punch at them but I fell to the ground at that attempt and it only caused them to laugh harder. They used to called my house phone and would start chanting the song that went along with the bit. They had a girl do this once and I couldn’t look a woman in the eyes for a few years following that. It wasn’t until my Mom witnessed me pick up the phone one night and I started crying in front of her. The school suspended them for 3 days, but I still had to see them every day in the hallways for the rest of that school year. It took me years to face it head on and I’ve just finished my therapy sessions within the past week. I feel I am finally at a place of peace after using songwriting as a stepping stone to express myself. Two of my assaulters eventually tracked me down to apologize in person years later.


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8 comments

  1. CarmenR Volunteer

    Hi there

    I am so sorry that this happened to you. The actions of those kids are unacceptable and cruel, and I’m sorry that that is something you had to go through. I’m glad that you have been facing it in your therapy sessions. You are a strong individual. If there is any other support or anything you need please do not hesitate to let us know. Thank you for sharing your story!

  2. Bethany Volunteer

    I’m sorry this happened to you. Kids are cruel, but kids who continue to be cruel after knowing how bad something hurts their target make me feel awful. I’m glad you got an apology, and I’m glad you feel at peace. You deserve that. You didn’t deserve what they put you through. You’re so strong. Thank you for sharing your story.

  3. Kristen Eby

    Hey Gavin. I’m so, so sorry this happened to you. What they did was not okay and definitely not funny. I was bullied in middle school too, and it breaks my heart that you were tortured like that. You are incredibly brave for seeking therapy and I’m thrilled to hear it’s brought you peace. I’m amazed your assaulters apologized to you – it gives me hope that people can change, can become self aware and confront the pain they’ve caused others.

    Thank you for sharing your story with us. Please come back and talk more if you ever need to; we’re in your corner and we’re happy to have you.

  4. Ashley Day Captain

    I’m really sorry that your peers behaved inappropriately toward you for their own entertainment. What they did isn’t acceptable and they should have never done these things to you. Three months seems like such a long time, and dealing with that on a daily basis must have been emotionally draining. It’s not funny to make people cry or to make them feel scared; your reactions in those moments were valid.

    I’m so proud of you for having the courage to sit across from a therapist to share your story. You deserve serenity.

    Thank you for sharing your story with us.

  5. Heather GG

    Hi Gavin

    I’m so sorry that happened to you. The school system failed to protect you and it must have been really difficult to see them every day. I’m glad to r mom was able to find out was was happening and protect you.

    You should share one of your song lyrics. We’d love to hear it

    1. Gavin Bonar

      Heather, my band is currently writing a script for a music video for a song called What May Come. Hoping that the message can encourage someone who is currently a victim to speak out. I’ll share when it’s completed!

      This is a different song and took 10 years to do. It’s all about forgiving what happened to me in the past and my goal to help become a voice for the innocent. Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quG6rKNMpBM

  6. Jacqui

    I am so sorry that this happened to you. Jackass does a lot of things I do not understand, and that is one of them. It isn’t okay. I am so sorry that those boys bullied you. You should feel so strong for dealing with what was happening to you. It isn’t easy but you should be proud of yourself.

  7. Erin Day Captain

    Hi Gavin,

    I am so sorry for everything that’s happened to you. You didn’t deserve that, and none of it was your fault. I’m glad to hear that therapy has helped you-although I’m sorry you had to go through it at all. How do you feel about your attackers apologizing? Although it doesn’t excuse or make up for what they did, I hope it helped a little bit. I’m glad you’ve found songwriting as well-writing has helped me a lot with my instances of assault as well. Do you need any other resources? Let us know-we are here for you!

    Erin