I was only 13 when I started helping out around my neighborhood. Babysitting, walking dogs, helping little kids with their homework.. you know, normal things 13 year olds can do for money. I started walking his dogs for money on every week day after school. I was only 14 when he first kissed me.
Keep in mind that this man was in his 40s. He shouldn’t kiss a 14 year old. And it made me uncomfortable. I dreaded coming over to walk his dogs when he’d be home. He would basically start a makeout session before I could leave. I was always worried about what would happen if he wanted to take it further. He lived alone. He had a three bedroom townhouse. I was only 14.
One day he said he got something for me and said let’s go upstairs. I said I didn’t have time to stay long because my parents were expecting me and he assured me it wouldn’t be long. We went upstairs. He played The Who and started kissing me. I finally decided to say something and I said that I’m gay (which wasn’t a lie) and he said “oh me too” and kept kissing me. He was not. He had a girlfriend. I shut up and it kept happening. He pulled up my shirt a little and I pushed him off of me and said I had to go.
This wasn’t the end. I felt trapped because I was embarrassed and didn’t want to quit because I’d have to tell my parents why I stopped. I found out we’d be moving and of course..he was our realtor. I stayed shut in my room and I knew I only had to last until we moved. I saw the end of the tunnel.
It kept happening until we moved in September 2009. I haven’t seen him since. I didn’t have the courage to tell anyone until 4 years later. And now? I finally have the courage to post about it.
I hope that my story can help anyone who is struggling with something similar. When it was happening I didn’t want to tell anyone because “it wasn’t rape” and “I let it go on for so long”. No one should feel this way. This is still sexual assault. There should be no downplaying it. It’s traumatic and scary and I hope that you know you are not alone.
It’s been 10 years and I’ve lived to tell you about it. It hasn’t been easy, but you can do it too.