I feel really unheard and alone but I don’t know why

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getting to hard… i hope your all good Im not gonnah lie you may have had many girls but i only saw you but when i realized the first time you showed me that one girl it hurt but we were so high but i still felt that hurt eventually i just got used to you getting so many girls to the point were all i saw was you and i didn’t want to face the fact you were with all those other girls but i want you to know fero that it still hurt and i still to this day wish it was just me and you back then… but life has its ways of breaking and healing people i know this is super random of me to post but ive been on a drug binger and i left my man and started seeing a guy who sells drugs but is trying to get out of this lifestyle to just i need help my ex husband he wants me back so bad he wont let me leave the house or hed stalk me every time i go anywere there’s alot more but he says he will take my daughter but i cant have that i love her and im always good with her when i get to see her he kicks me out on the street so much yet wants me to live with him and the other night he was kicking me out it was -40 the guy was gonnah come pick me up he was on his way i was leaving him and he said he will give me 30 minutes with a random man in his car but to please stay ive tried to leave and cheated 12 times i used to feel bad all that but i stopped so any advice please what now this is


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29 comments

  1. lizzi

    Hey Maria,
    I’m so sorry for what you’re going through and how hard this all has been. I agree with what most people have already said, that there are options for getting help and that maybe going to a treatment center or a shelter would get you off the street and get you some help for your addiction. You deserve to be happy and not have to struggle like this. You also deserve someone in your life that treats you better. I hope that you’ll reach out to some of the resources other people suggested and find help soon. You’re in my thoughts and I hope you’ll let us know if there’s anything we can do to support you through this time.

  2. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi Maria,
    I’m sorry that you are going through this. You are strong. You will get through the hard times. If you need anything you can always text our crisis line; VOICE to 741-741 like Erin suggested. We are here for you. Thank you for updating us.
    -Alyssa

  3. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    I am so sorry you are dealing with this and going through this. Please text our crisis text line, VOICE to 741 741 if you need more immediate help, which it sounds like you might. We are here for you.

    Erin

  4. mikaylaanne11 Volunteer

    Hey there, Maria,

    It sounds like you’re going through a really rough time right now. It’s easy to feel like you’re alone when so much is being piled onto your metaphorical plate. We’re here for you, and there’s some really great resources out there that can help you get back on your feet. Like some of the others said before me, the Crisis Text Line might be a place to turn to. Text VOICE to 741-741, and they’ll connect you with some wonderful folks who can help you stabilize when you’re experiencing a crisis. I have also heard good things about Addiction Campuses regarding issues with using drugs. They have some treatment facilities across the US, but you also can call them at 888-816-8415 for help and resources for free. You aren’t alone, and you don’t deserve to feel mistreated by your network of people. Try to find the people in your life who are reliable and caring; confiding in them might be the first step in your healing journey. We’re always here to help, too!

    Sending you some positive energy to get through this week.

  5. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi Maria,
    I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now, and I hear that you’re struggling. Are you safe right now? If you have any family or friends nearby, could you ask if you can stay with them? I found a link that lists hotlines and mental health resources in Canada (if I’m remembering correctly from your past updates). I don’t know exactly which area you’re in, but this may help: https://www.ctvnews.ca/health/mental-health-care-in-canada-where-to-find-help-1.3767445
    Thank you for sharing this update with us. Please keep us posted. We hear you, and you’re not alone. We’ll be here for you while you’re going through this. You deserve to heal for yourself and for your daughter.

  6. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear Maria,
    You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be healthy. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to love. Keep fighting and searching out ways to heal.
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  7. eagle206 Volunteer

    Hi Maria,

    Thank you for coming back to share with us. I’m sorry to hear that you are experiencing so much pain. We are all here for you in any way that we can be. You can also text the Crisis Text Line 24/7 by sending VOICE to 741-741. I hope you have somewhere safe to sleep, do you have any family nearby that could help you find somewhere? It sounds like some of the men in your life aren’t very reliable. Talking to a friend or family member might help you solidify the next steps.

    Stay strong,

    Tyler

  8. Starling Volunteer

    Hi Marie,
    Thank you for continuing to share your story with us. I’m sorry that you’re dealing with this. You don’t deserve this and it isn’t your fault. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you. You are so strong, and can get through this. If you ever need anything, let us know. We’re always here for you.

  9. Ryan4121 Volunteer

    I am so sorry this is happening 🙁 I can’t imagine how hard this is. Please hang in there. We are always here for you and hope you keep coming back to us to share.

    Ryan

  10. dzreid Volunteer

    Maria,
    It breaks my heart hearing how you are struggling. I can’t imagine how difficult this is. I do know that you are indeed a strong person! You can & will get throught this! There are safe places (shelters) where you can go with your daughter. I hope you are doing what is needed to make sure you both are safe. Keep doing what you need to do to care for you. I know you may feel alone & unheard, but you aren’t alone. You do matter & you are being heard! I believe in you! There’s plenty of resources on here (AVFTI resource page). We (I) am behind you! Keep moving onward, you got this!
    Dawn

  11. Stellablue Volunteer

    I’m sorry this is happening to you right now. No one should treat you like that. Stay strong and remember your worth! Be safe please keep posting.

  12. Marissa Day Captain

    Hi Maria,

    Thanks for updating us. I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. You don’t deserve it. While I can’t offer any advice, I hope you know that we’re here for you no matter what. Just keep your head up and keep working towards your goals. You can do this. I believe in you.

    Marissa

  13. Amysue43 Volunteer

    I’m so sorry you are goin through this situation right now. I hope you have found a safe place to stay for you and your daughter. There is the Crisis Hotline that I would recommend reaching out to if you feel you are unsafe by texting VOICE to 741-741. You deserve to so much more than this. If you’d like, we’d love for you to update us on your situation. We support you and are keeping you in our thoughts!
    Stay strong <3

  14. Ashley Day Captain

    It sounds like you’re going through a lot, Maria. Since you cared for him, it makes sense that it was painful to see him with other girls. In regards to your ex-husband, it’s not okay that he won’t allow you to leave, plans to stalk you, and threatens to take your daughter away. He shouldn’t have kicked you out, especially not in cold weather.
    Hang in there and stay strong.

    Ashley

  15. SydSquid Volunteer

    Hey Maria,
    I’m so sorry to hear this is happening to you. You don’t deserve to be treated like this ever. I understand that you feel alone but we are always here to listen and I’m so glad you reached out. I hope you have someone you know or can find someone to reach out to about this, they may be able to help or even give you a place to stay. But no matter what we are here to listen to you. Please keep reaching out to people I know things will take a turn for the better soon.

  16. sfmbelle413 Day Captain

    Hey there Maria,

    I hear life is getting hard for you, but I also sense there’s some hope left. I’m glad you came here for support – you deserve it. I hope you’ve found a safe place to stay. You deserve safety as well as support. Other comments offer some great suggestions – like finding someone to reach out to. AVFTI also offers some great resources at: https://www.avoicefortheinnocent.org/help/. Our friends at Crisis Text Line are also available 24/7. You can reach them by texting VOICE to 741-741.

    Sending you light,
    SFM

  17. myazojo Volunteer

    Hi Maria,

    I am sorry you are in so much pain. Thank you for writing to us. We are always here to listen. Is there anyone you can reach out to there? Maybe try a counselor, a hotline, a support group? You can check out our resources tab and see if anything around you could help. We are always here to listen and support you, even when you are feeling so overwhelmed.

  18. tbird830 Volunteer

    Maria –

    It sounds like you’re having a really hard time. I’m glad you reached out and I hope it provided you with a little bit of relief. Do you have any supportive people in your life that you can talk to about what’s going on? I would be happy to get you some local resources if you’re not able to find any under our resource tab. Please know that you can reach back out at any time and we will be here for you.

    Tori

  19. candyappleb Volunteer

    Hi Maria,

    I’m really sorry to hear that things have been so rough for you recently. I understand that things can be extra difficult when you’re feeling so overwhelmed. Please continue to reach out and seek the help that you need. We’re always here for you. In addition to posting here, please check out our resources tab. There may be someone locally that you can speak to in person as you navigate through this difficult time.

    All the best,
    Becca

  20. jcas120 Volunteer

    Hello Maria,

    I’m so sorry to hear that you feel unheard and alone. You have been through so much and are going through so much right now, you’re very brave to come here and share all of this with us. We are here to support you any way you can. There’s a lot going on in your life right now and its understandable that you feel the way that you feel. There are many options that can help you out right now. One option is the resources section on this website: https://www.avoicefortheinnocent.org/help

    If you feel like you’re in danger, please reach out to https://www.thehotline.org/help/ to get help and the resources you need to get out of a bad or abusive situation.

    We are here for you, Maria! I hope you find our responses helpful and you can do what is best for you.

  21. Northlane1991 Volunteer

    i am really sorry for what you been through and you struggling with all of this. I am sorry you in pain and you didn’t deserve anything that happened. Anytime you need support and someone listen to you. We are here for you friend. We truly care for you and take care.

  22. musicislove

    Hi Maria,

    I’m really sorry for what you’ve been through and that you’re struggling with all of this. I’m sorry you’re in pain you don’t deserve it, is there someone you and your daughter can go to for help? Family or a domestic violence center maybe? We’re always here for you and will support and listen to you, please come back anytime you’d like.

    Delaney

  23. MH Volunteer

    Hello Maria,

    I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. It may be difficult but you need to try and surround yourself with good people. Also know that you are not alone or unheard- we are here for you! Please feel free to come back and vent, update us, etc.

    MH

  24. KatherineL Volunteer

    Hi Maria,

    Thank you for sharing. I hear you. You do not deserve any of this. You deserve you have stability and safety in your life. Have you considered seeking help from a local domestic violence support source? Even if you don’t feel like what you’re experiencing is domestic violence/abuse (I don’t want to assume either way), they can help you find local support and connect you with resources that can help you find stable housing, a temporary restraining order, and/or legal help regarding your daughter. I’m not sure what exactly you need, but they can connect you with local resources or just be another source of listening/support. You can chat online or call: https://www.thehotline.org/help/

    Please come share with us again if you’d like. We are here for you!

    KatherineL

  25. kelly Day Captain

    Hi, Maria. I’m so sorry you’re struggling with all of this. Thanks for reaching out. Is there anyone you can reach out to there? Maybe try a counselor, a hotline, a support group? Or even 12 step meeting, even if you’re not looking for a sober program it’s a great place to find support and they’re free. It’s okay to ask for help. Please let us know if there’s anything we can do. I know you can get through this.

  26. colton95 Volunteer

    You do no deserve to go through any of the turmoil and pain that you are unfortunately experiencing right now. I think that you’re brave for seeking help and sharing your story on here. Unless you have already, I would recommend clicking on the FIND HELP tab on this website and looking for resources both here and hopefully in your personal life that can help you through this extremely tough situation. I hope that you will be able to stay strong and that you won’t get separated from your daughter.

  27. rkr18 Volunteer

    Maria,

    I am sorry you are going through so much turmoil and pain. Thank you for trusting us. I’m not sure everything that is happening, but sounds like you want help getting out and you love your daughter deeply and you want her to be safe. Do you have a place to go that is safe? Do you have someone that can guide you out? Please keep us updated and let us know if there is anything we can do.
    – Marie

  28. Solongago Volunteer

    I hear you. I don’t understand everything, but I hear that you are struggling and trying and are confused and are not sure which way to turn. It sounds like you are ready to reach out for help. If you can, do it for yourself because you are worth it, and do it for your daughter because she needs a mom. We are pulling for you here.

  29. Turnschaosintoart Day Captain

    Maria,
    Hi there, you are heard. I am hearing you and I am hearing how much you are struggling. I am glad you came and wrote to us tonight. I am sorry for what is happening right now. I am sorry you are hurting. You are doing your best to be a good mom to your daughter. You deserve to be loved and treated with respect. You are worth so much. Are you safe tonight? Do you maybe have a friend you could stay with? Is there anything we can help with. Please know we are here for you and to write when ever you want. Sending positive vibes.
    Kristin