I feel like I’m losing the battle today

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Apart from what I shared, I have so much more that I haven’t shared. Today I feel like I’m losing the fight. Today my mind and heart just can’t see the light. Weakness, suicidal thoughts, just everything. I wanna give up so bad…… Help!


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42 comments

  1. zelda Volunteer

    Hi, how’s your night going, Optimistic?

    An organization called To Write Love On Her Arms is a nonprofit that helps people who struggle with mental health, addiction, self harm, and suicidal ideation. Hopefully, you are in a much better mental and emotional state now, but the website may still be worth checking out.

    You’re always welcome to post here again whenever you need help, have to vent, or just want to talk about your day. Thank you for sharing your feelings on this platform. I hope you found comfort, encouragement, and positive feedback.

    Take care and stay safe. ❤️

  2. pvb Volunteer

    Hi Optimistic ,

    I know that days that feel like this are tough. You will get through this and we are here for you. Please do not give up. Keep fighting! Every day is a new day.
    Use the text crisis hotline : text voice to 741741

    Stay strong and stay with us.

  3. eagle206 Volunteer

    Hi Optimistic,

    I’m sorry that I’m seeing this late, but I wanted to let you know that I’m here for you, as is the rest of this amazing AVFTI community. Some days are really hard. Sometimes we need to take a break and just sleep all day or take some space and go for a walk. Sometimes I need to listen to music on full blast. That is part of being human! On days when I feel weak, I try and just do the bare minimum and then get to bed early. Sometimes a good night’s sleep can make a world of difference with your mental health. Know that we are always here for you. You deserve love and support and the world wouldn’t be the same without you. I hope you have had better days since this post. Sending love.

    Ty

  4. Jay Volunteer

    Hi Optimistic,

    Do not give up, you are way too strong and brave to let this darkness take over. There is always light in the dark, and we are here to help you find that. You are not alone and do not ever think that you are. We are here for you for whatever you need to vent or talk to about things. We at AVFTI have so much faith in you and we know you are ready to fight. I understand this is a difficult time for you right now, but we are not given anymore than we can handle. You WILL get through this and we will help you. Stay strong.

  5. Turnschaosintoart Day Captain

    It was brave and took a lot for you to share what you did share with us. We appreciate that. Some days can feel like that and it can be hard. I am sorry you are struggling. I know it has been a little bit since you posted this. How are you doing now? Are you feeling any better? I know sometimes giving up seems like it is the answer. We are always here for you to support you and to listen

    kristin

  6. Dayana143 Volunteer

    Hi Optimistic!
    Don’t give up! Us here at AVFTI care, and are here to support you. Things might be tough at the moment, and can be harder than other days but you have gotten this far! You can do it, and you will beat this fight I have so much faith that you will. The fact that you are able to share your feelings with us shows how strong you truly are. Please recognize that! Sending you hugs, and love towards you. Please continue to come to us we want to continue to support you.

  7. lizzi

    Hi Optimistic,
    I hear your pain. It sounds like you’re really struggling right now, and I hope that you’re able to talk to someone that can help you stay safe through these thoughts. You are worth it, and you can keep fighting. Things will get better. You deserve to get through this and be happy again. Not every day will be this tough, and remember that there are better days ahead. Please don’t give up, and know that we’re here to support you. If you need immediate support, you can always text VOICE to 741741. Don’t give up… you’re such a warrior.

  8. rohina_kumar Volunteer

    Hello Optimistic,

    I can’t even imagine how difficult this must be for you and I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Thank you so much for sharing as much as you could with us, and for sharing what you’re currently feeling too. That is definitely not a sign of weakness. You are addressing your feelings and that is a great step towards personal growth. You are so strong and we’re all here to support you through all your difficult experiences! The tunnel might be a bit hazy and you won’t be able to see the light right now, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. In fact, you may even be closer to it than you might think. Keep fighting like the brave soldier you are. You got this!

  9. Kailey Volunteer

    Hi Optimistic,
    I’m so sorry to hear you’re having a hard time. We are all here for you and support you. If you are feeling like a danger to yourself please text Voice to 741741. Asking for help can be difficult but sometimes it’s necessary to help ourselves. Keep your head up and keep holding on! If there is anything more we can do to help and support you please let us know!
    Kailey

  10. Jess Volunteer

    I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling. I’m so glad that you reached out here to share your feelings and get some help. It is difficult to reach out for help, so recognize that strength within you that allowed you to reach out here. Stay strong and keep fighting the best that you can. If you find yourself in crisis, as others have said, please text VOICE to 741-741. If you need anything at all, we are always here for you. Please reach out if there is any other way that we can help. <3
    -Jess

  11. larakopp Volunteer

    Hi, Optimistic:

    We’re here for you!
    I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. I’m glad you reached out on here to share those feelings — sometimes you just need to get them out!
    You can do this! Sometimes we all need help and encouragement, and it takes strength to recognize that and to reach out. You are not alone–we’re here for you!
    If you’re concerned about your safety, do please text Voice to 741741.
    “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” The dark times are scary, but know the light is just around the bend. You are working so hard and have overcome so much. You are brave! You are strong! You are important! And you are not alone!

    -Lara

  12. Breanna Volunteer

    Hey Optimistic,

    We hear you. Please hang in there. Life is hard, but when there are downs, there will also be ups. How can we help you? If you are feeling concerned for your safety, please text VOICE to 741 741. We are here for you and we care about you. Stay strong, my friend.

    Sending so much love and strength,
    Bre

  13. SydSquid Volunteer

    Hey Optimistic,
    I’m sorry to hear your day has been so bad. I know its hard to keep your chin up when everything feels like its crumbling around you but hang in there. It will get better and hopefully it has already started to. If you are in need of help you should reach out to a friend or family member who will be there for you. Stay strong!

  14. Ryan4121 Volunteer

    Optimisic- please hang in there! The bad, like the good days come and go. Sometimes when I feel weak, I wrote out everything that is bothering me on paper. For me it is therapeutic. Or a will do something I like. The days do get better, they have. When things are bad, you can only go up. Please hang in there. We are with you!

    Ryan

  15. Knina7 Volunteer

    Hey Optimistic,
    I hope very much so that you are still here with us. Please don’t give up, you are so strong and brave! You have so many people that care for you, we care for you. Please click on our “Find Help” tab or text VOICE to 741741. “You’re stronger than you think You’re more capable than you realize.”
    Sending Love and Hope,
    Kelly

  16. dzreid Volunteer

    Hi there Optimistic!
    It takes a lot of emotional strength to share anything deep. I am so glad that you have found the courage to share what’s going on. Thanks for your honesty! As far as sharing more of your story, I believe when you’re ready & if you choose to share, know we’ll be here ready to listen. Take a deep breath, & take things minute by minute. You can do this! I believe in you! You might feel weak, but you’re anything but! You survived. You are a fighter, & so deserve to not live in darkness! I know the struggle is real, but your light will shine again. I care about you, & it would break my heart if I found out anything happened to you! If you need to talk, please reach out to the crisis line (voice to 741741), or to any one else. Please take care of yourself. You are worth every minute it takes to win this battle!
    Dawn

  17. Natalie M Day Captain

    Hi there Optimistic,

    Thank you for coming back and sharing your thoughts and emotions with us. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. But you are not losing the fight!! There are good days and bad days throughout the healing journey, and this might just be a bad day. But please remember every day you chose to fight and survive, you are winning. You are so strong and you are not alone! We are here for you, cheering you on. Keep fighting! Things will get better!

    Sending lots of hope and support,
    -Natalie

  18. meg Volunteer

    Hi Optimistic,

    I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so dark and alone. You taking the time to reach out shows that you are not weak at all. You are fighting to get out of that darkness. We are always here for you. You are not alone. There are excellent resources on our “Find Help” tab that are there for you for more personal, immediate support. When you feel like the world is closing in, try to take intentionally deep breaths. Feel the air fill your body and try to pay attention to the way your feet feel on the ground. Try to center yourself and if thoughts come in, just let that happen and gently bring yourself back to the breath and your body. Don’t give up. We love you. You are important. You are wanted.
    -Meg

  19. Lex Volunteer

    Hi Optimistic,

    I am so sorry that you have been struggling. I hope you are feeling better today. Please click on our “Find Help” tab or text VOICE to 741741 if you need to talk to someone immediately! Although you may feel like you are losing the fight, please remind yourself that you are not. You have made so much progress! Please do not give up, you are a strong person and will get through these emotions! Please remember and try to tell your self every day that you are important and strong!

    We are here for you, always!
    – Lex

  20. aegardiner Volunteer

    Optimistic,

    I hope today was a better day from when you posted few days ago and that all the encouraging words posted here helped. I know some days can be so hard and it can take all your energy to feel like you can make it through the day, but you are strong enough! Feel free to reach out here as often as you need and to text VOICE to 741741. Please take care.

  21. Amysue43 Volunteer

    Thank you for coming back and sharing your thoughts with us! We are here for you and want to support you in any way that we can. I would like to remind you that this is a safe space for you to share your thoughts and concerns regardless of the topic. I hope the comments here reassure you in this. Perhaps checking out our “For Help” tab could also be beneficial or you can text VOICE to 741741 if you’re feeling unsure about yourself. With regard to your wanting to give up, I think it’s important to acknowledge your strength in coming to this platform and sharing. It speaks volumes of how strong you are and your abilities. We are here for you!
    Stay strong <3

  22. Marissa Day Captain

    Hi Optimistic,

    Thanks for sharing again. I’m sorry you were feeling so down in the dumps. Are you doing better? It’s hard to see the light some days, but I promise you it’s there. Please don’t give up! Even though you feel weak, I KNOW that you’re not. You’re incredibly strong even if it doesn’t feel like it some days. You can do this. Please check out our “Find Help” tab for resources near you. If you need absolutely anything, please check back with us! We’re here for you, no matter what. Don’t forget that!

    Marissa

  23. Solongago Volunteer

    Optimistic, I am sorry you are feeling this way. Sometimes, when we begin the healing journey, or when we reach some milestones, we go through a period of exactly what you said, “weakness, suicidal thoughts, just everything.” You are not alone in this. I think it is a common reaction to recovering from trauma. We go so far, we tell so much, and then it just seems to hit us, the enormity of what happened, and the disappointment in people who should have loved and protected us. And we feel overwhelmed. But it will get better. You have survived the trauma itself. This stuff that you are struggling with, the aftermath of the trauma, you can do this. And it takes some time and work, but it is so worth it.

    There is help available, people to talk to, we are here to write to, and hot lines are available 24 hours. You are worth the time and the effort. You are worth the help that is available. You are worthy of a better tomorrow. You deserve the love and respect that you would show another person if they suffered what you suffered. You deserve to love and respect yourself for surviving what you did. Sometimes it is good to have a list of things that you like to do, some of them big that take time and planning, and some of them little that you can start and complete in minutes, and many in-between. In times when we are feeling down, we can pick something to do for ourselves from this list — a walk in the park, a hot bath, a one-tank-trip, that can take our minds off of the stuff that drags us down, so we can regroup.

    I hope you are feeling better today. But remember that you can write to us however you feel, whether you feel better or if you feel the same or even worse. We are here for you, and we want what is best for you.

  24. Northlane1991 Volunteer

    Hey friend

    i am so sorry you are struggling right now. Please reach out to our crisis text line by Texting Voice to 741741 if you ever need to speak to someone immediately. Please reach out anytime we are here for you! Hang in their friend.

  25. candyappleb Volunteer

    Hi Optimistic,

    I’m so sorry to hear that you are struggling right now. Please feel free to reach out to our crisis text line by texting VOICE to 741741 if you ever need to speak to someone immediately. Sometimes the battle can feel overwhelming and things can seem hopeless. You are such a strong person to survive this far. You are important, and we’re here for you. Please feel free to reach out anytime! Hang in there.

    All the best,
    Becca

  26. haesol Volunteer

    Hi Optimistic,

    It’s nice to hear aboutyou again. Sharing personal stories is never easy, but you’ve already done it. No matter how much or little you decide to share, it’s still extremely valuable and you’re incredibly brave for doing so.

    Having bad days is normal, sometimes they last a lot of days while othertimes they are few and far in between. You have every right to feel down sometimes, it is in no ways a sign of weakness or that your progress has stopped. I hope you can focus on how far you have come already, that in itself is a huge achievement. It might feel like a losing battle, but I promise you: you are winning it.

    Whenever you have those bad thoughts, text VOICE to 741-741 they will help you out!

    I wish you the best, stay safe and remember how far you’ve come and how amazing you truly are.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, we are always here to help and listen whenever you need.

    -sol.

  27. jcas120 Volunteer

    Hello Optimistic,

    We are really glad you are here. It’s very brave of you to talk about these deep emotions you’re having. I’m sorry you’re having a rough time right now. I know it may feel like you are loosing the fight, but I can assure you that you are not. Having a bad day doesn’t mean taking a step back or that one is loosing the fight. You are certainly not loosing the fight and I know you are very strong.

    If you ever do feel like harming yourself, please promise us to text VOICE to 741-741. We are always here for you!

  28. musicislove

    Hi Optimistic,

    I’m sorry you’re struggling so much right now. Please remember that we’re all here for you and that things do get better. I know how frustrating those words can be when things are so stressful but it’s true. If you need immediate help you can text VOICE to 741-741. You have so much strength and fight in you, and whenever you’re ready to share more, we’ll be here to offer support. Thank you for sharing how you’re feeling with us, please share again anytime you need. Sending you hope!

    Delaney

  29. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi Optimistic,
    I’m sorry that things have been so hard on you. Just remember that even though things are hard right now, they will always get better. You are strong. If you need any type of help we are here for you. You can also text VOICE to 741-741 for immediate help or look at the resources tab on the top right of this screen. Continue to stay strong. If you need anything we are here for you.
    -Alyssa

  30. Ashley Day Captain

    Optimistic,

    At the time you shared this, it sounds like you felt defeated and powerless. I encourage you to continue fighting because better days are ahead. It has been a couple of days since you posted this update and I hope you are feeling better. If you still feel the same, please know you can continue to lean on us for support. When you feel ready to share more of your story with us, we are here to listen.

    Ashley

  31. KatherineL Volunteer

    Hey Optimistic,

    I’m proud of you for coming to share what you’re feeling even when it feels impossible to carry on. Know that we are here for you – you’re not alone. This is only temporary and you have so many people here who are rooting for you to keep going because you matter. Hang in there!

    KatherineL

  32. colton95 Volunteer

    I work at a big retail store where I encounter stressful situations and unsympathetic customers. Almost every day at work, I feel like I’m losing the battle. I know that what I’m going through is not what you are going through, and probably not as stressful, but just know that you are not alone. Everyone here cares for you, your safety, and your well-being. Hang in there and stay safe! Things will get better! Feel free to share your thoughts whenever and however long you want to.

  33. rkr18 Volunteer

    Hello Optimistic,

    Thanks for sharing your feelings and thoughts with us. I am sorry you are struggling. Please know we are always here for you and we see and feel you. Please reach out to someone close that can be there physically or text VOICE to 741-741 as mentioned earlier this is the crisis text line. You are too valuable and worth it. Let us know if there is anything else we can do.
    -Marie

  34. JWorks Volunteer

    Hey Optimistic,

    I’m sorry you’ve been struggling. I want to start by saying thanks for sharing your story with us. It’s been great to hear your updates and I hope you keep coming back to talk to us. I’ve known many people in dark places and giving up has never been the answer. Just don’t give up on yourself. Please keep us updated!

    -Jay

  35. blashea Volunteer

    Hi, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. I definitely understand the feelings. Please never forget how strong you are! Don’t forget to celebrate how far you’ve already came! We all believe in you and are here for you. You are not alone. Please continue to reach out to us! Thank you for trusting us with your story. One day at a time!

  36. mikaylaanne11 Volunteer

    Hey there, optimistic,

    I’ve been where you are, and it’s a really terrible place to be. You aren’t alone. I know it’s hard to hear things like “it gets better” and “you are loved” right now, but they’re absolutely true. We’re glad you’re here sharing your stories. I am glad to have you as part of this community! There’s some genuinely wonderful things to hang on for, and I want you to be around to experience them.

    If you’re feeling like you’re too overwhelmed, you can text VOICE to 741-741. This is the Crisis Text Line, and there are incredible people there who are trained to help you when you’re in crisis. One of my best friends volunteers with them, and they have such a wonderful team of people over there. You can always reach out to them and to us. We’re in your corner! Sending some warm vibes your way today. You can make it through another day because you are strong and powerful.

  37. kelly Day Captain

    Hi, Optimistic. I’m sorry you’re struggling. Please don’t give up. You are so strong and I know you can get through this even though it might not feel like it right now. Just hang in there, it will pass. Try reaching out to someone or one of the hotlines posted below. You will get through this and you have a lot of people on your side. Hang in there.

  38. loveishere2020 Volunteer

    I’m here for you, Optimistic. The emotions come like waves and it’s high tide for you. The good news is the low tide is just around the corner. Hang in there okay? Call the hotlines shared in other comments – it will be a voice you can hear and talk you through it.

    Stay safe – Hollie

  39. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi Optimistic,
    I hear you’re feeling weighed down and that life feels difficult today. You’ve come so far on this journey, and I know you can keep going. I believe in you. I agree with the comments below – use those resources. Please reach out to someone you trust. If you want to share more of your story or anything at all, please write back to us. We love you, and we want you here. You matter, and you’re not alone in this journey. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us.

  40. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear Optimistic,
    You are loved and we can help to hold some of the heavy stuff while you rest. Please reach out to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741, the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255, or someone who can be with you through this. Things are hard, but you have made it this far and you are not alone.
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  41. april-federico Volunteer

    Dear Optimistic:

    Okay, what I want you to do is to text VOICE to 741-741 or look to our other resources. Also, call 1-800-273-8255. This is the national suicide hotline. Just know that you are in a VERY safe place to tell your story. Don’t be afraid to pour your heart out, but that’s totally your choice! I know this is easier to say than realize, but it may just be a worse day today. Do NOT give up. You are valuable, you are needed here on Earth. You are already 100% proactive today than you may realize, just to get some advice is courageous and just shows just how strong you really are.

    Please, please, PLEASE keep in touch with us,

    April

  42. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    Thank you for coming back to share. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. Please also text our crisis text line, VOICE to 741 741, for more immediate help and another resource. You matter. We are here for you, you are not alone.

    Erin