how to cope with your ex being convicted

how to cope with your ex being convicted

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so my ex boyfriend got found guilty after a long and hard trial we will be having the final sentencing hearing in 2 weeks to decide how long he could go to jail for and how what will happen hes now on house arrest he got convicted on 10 charges of producing child porn selling child porn assault,buying underage sex, underage human trafficking and drug possession i made a impact statement which the crown read it was hard i was wondering also what it means for the crown to ask for money like example 6 grand for damages if the judge agrees he has to would i get the money asap?? also how can i cope through this it’ll mean a lot to get some support also sorry for not writing in a while its been hard i hope you’ve all been ok stay strong everyone 


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14 comments

  1. colton95 Volunteer

    I’m really sorry for what you went through and are going through. When it comes to legal stuff I know absolutely nothing so unfortunately I am not of much help there. What I can say is that I sincerely hope things will be better for you and that I and many others here at avfti care for your well-being and are more than happy to listen if you want to vent or talk.

  2. mikaylaanne11 Volunteer

    Hey there, Maria,

    Thank you for sharing this update with us. It’s wonderful to hear that justice will be served on your behalf, but it’s also upsetting that you’ve had to have this experience. We’re here to support you with anything you need.

    I did a very brief little search on what to anticipate from court proceedings, and I found some stuff from RAINN that might answer some of your questions. Here’s the link—I hope it might answer some of your questions! https://www.rainn.org/articles/what-expect-criminal-justice-system

    I also don’t know much about the legality of assault cases. I do know that you are so strong and are capable of incredible things. Any time you want to talk, feel free to update us. I hope this resolves quickly for you!

  3. kelly Day Captain

    Hey, Maria. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can’t really be of any help regarding the legal stuff. I think it’s awesome you made a statement. That takes a lot of courage. Take care of yourself during this time. Talk therapy and support groups have helped me a lot, and there is a lot of groups online or even over the phone if you can’t find any in your area. There’s a lot of resources on this site. Let us know if you need help finding any. Also exercise, writing, meditating, or anything that helps you feel calm. Self care can be a lot of different things. Stay strong, you got this!

  4. Jess Volunteer

    I’m sorry for everything that you’ve had to deal with, but so glad that it seems like you’re going to get closure soon! I don’t personally have any legal advice – I’m not well versed in that world. However, as far as coping with this goes, make sure you’re taking time for self-care in every way possible. Self-care could mean making time for walking/exercise, time for enjoyable activities (like coloring or writing or going out), time with family/friends, or as simple as making sure to relax daily. It is so vital to care for ourselves when we are going through hard things like this.

    If you need anything else, we are always here. Thank you for updating us and I hope we hear from you again saying the trial is finished and you finally have that closure you deserve! Stay strong and keep fighting, Maria. <3
    -Jess

  5. MH Volunteer

    Hello Maria,
    I am so sorry that you are going through this. You are extremely brave. Keep your head up high and keep moving forward. Do you have any support at home/with friends? Please feel free to come back and update us- we are always here for you!
    MH

  6. musicislove

    Hi Maria,

    I’m sorry for everything you’ve been dealing with but I’m glad it sounds like you’ll finally get some closure soon. I don’t have any legal advice but we’re all here to support you! On how to cope through everything I would just say to be kind to yourself while you’re going through all of this, try to focus some time on things you love, and reach out when you need more support! Friends, family, a therapist, and AVFTI are all great sources of support! Stay strong and we’re here for you.

    Delaney

  7. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear Maria,
    It is good to hear from you again!! It sounds like you are finally going to get some closure with all of this. I don’t have legal answers or any different advise to offer. Take a moment to acknowledge how amazing you are for pushing through to the end of all of this!! Keep us updated if you can.
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  8. Breanna Grunthal Volunteer

    Hi Maria,

    Thanks for coming back for an update. I am so sorry that you had to go through all of this. I hope it was healing for you. Unfortunately, I don’t know much about how the courts handle the money transfer, but I’m sure you can ask the judge or someone who works there. I’m glad to hear it’s almost over. Stay strong, we are here if you need anything!

    Sending love and strength,
    Bre

  9. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi Maria,
    It’s good to hear back from you. I hope you have been well. I’m not too sure about how fast you would get the money. That is something you would have to ask the judge. I’m sorry that you are going through this trial, but at least it is almost over. We are here if you need anything. Thank you for updating us.
    -Alyssa

  10. Samantha Harris Volunteer

    Hi Maria,
    Thank you for sharing your story with us. I’m sorry you had to go through this. I’m glad that your ex was brought to justice. It must have been hard to be in the courtroom for that. As for the money, I would suggest asking the court or an attorney to find out the process for that. If you ever need anything, let us know. We’re always here for you.

  11. Shannon Volunteer

    Hi Maria,

    Thank you for sharing with us. You are so brave to give an impact statement, you should be very proud of yourself. As for the money for damages, consulting the court or an attorney would probably be the best option to find information. We hope to hear from you again soon, be kind to yourself.

  12. meg Volunteer

    Hello Maria,

    I am so sorry to hear about everything you’re going through. In my experience, even just being in a court room is incredibly stressful. You are so brave for making a statement. I am proud of you. I wish I had more information in terms of the legal side of the verdict and compensation. I would reach out to the attorney for clarification if you can.

    Know that even posting this is a major step towards moving forward. Asking for guidance is a sign that you’ve already begun the process of healing. Be gentle with yourself. Take a moment and focus on just being present. As dzreid said, deep breathing techniques could be helpful. I use the 4-7-8 method myself and it helps me bring my mind and heart rate under control when I find everything else overwhelming. If you need someone to talk to, please look through the Find Help tab for free resources/therapists.

    Remember that you’ve got this. As you told us, stay strong!
    —Meg

  13. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    Thank you for coming back to share with us-maybe you could see if there’s some legal support? That could help. We are here for you.

    Erin

  14. dzreid Volunteer

    Maria,
    I’m so glad that you are able to come back & share. I’m sure this is a difficult period for you. As far as the money & how you would get it, I think that would be a good question to ask the court or an attorney. It is good that you can reach out, use that support system (even if it’s the support from here). I would take one day at a time & allow yourself time to process all this. I believe that doing self care techniques (deep breathing, or journaling) could be applied to help you through & to cope. Take care of you through this. Come back again when you can. I know you can make it! Stay strong!
    Dawn