How I was saved

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It was June of 1984 my mother was in the hospital recovering from her 1 of 25 surgeries on her bones, I believe it was a spinal fusion not sure though, anyway my step father who caused her to have the surgery by ramming her head against the furnace, wall or anything else to yanking her head back by pulling her hair and over a period of years caused her problems.

I was 16 at the time taking drivers ed I vividly remember sitting in the drivers seat of a little red Ford Escort when standing on the sideline was my rapist I saw a few of his buddies pointing at the car, he quickly ran to the car, and because I prevented a possible rape earlier by letting the girl know who she was with, he got upset before I could answer or think of what to do he punched me in the jaw so hard not only did it knock and break my glasses but caused my head to go to the right, so I was facing the passenger. The rapist took off running into the park, while the front seat passenger handed me my glasses, and the girl in the backseat jumped out the car to let the instructed know what happened, I got out and begged her not to, cause I was terrified all she said No screw that, he shouldn’t have done that, and saying some other things as she told the instructor he asked me what happened and who he was, when I told him he said don’t you worry about a thing. That was the last day I took drivers ed, also the last time I drove a car, and more importantly the last time I saw my rapist. Often I think of those passengers in the car as well as the instructor and who they were, wanting them to know they may have saved my life. Cause he would never stop tormenting me. Wherever the girl is and the instructor are I want to thank them for their concern and compassion, after that day I got a little respect from the school, largely because the one I went to before was like hell. The high school was much more supportive student body as well as teachers, and when I got there it was well known what happened to me.

Meanwhile after my mother came home couldn’t understand why I dropped out of drivers ed. I told her is it perhaps cause it was the last place I saw my rapist her response still shocks me, she sort of smiled and said you knew what you were getting into when he was inside you, what you complaining about it now for while my sister maybe 9 at the time is giggling and laughing at me.

As time went on I began to realize that the last person you would think that would support you, was always there including the only one who believed me, and that was my step father. We never talked about what happened that fateful day but I could tell that he believed me by his looks, he never minimized it once he realized what happened.

The day I graduated from high school the girl the rapist was with came up to me and while crying hugged me tight and said I’m so sorry in what happened to you, but I want to thank you for saving me, she held my hand for what seemed to be hours. I didn’t know what to say, she just kept staring at me with tears in her eyes when in the background I heard my mother say hey dumb ass its time to go, my eyes shut and I whispered I’m so sorry and she instantly leaned in and kissed me sweetly slowly moving away she asked me did I want to go to a party, she knew I couldn’t, but I believe she was accepting me, wanted to include me in our big night, I don’t know

When I got to where my family was it was like a circus my mother is cussing and just upset, grandma is holding her purse like its part of her, like someone was going to hurt her, step father got me very mad cause he has a video camera and I didn’t want to be video taped so he says shut the hell up, turned around and walked at least 10 ft in front of us, while my grandma asks my mother what’s wrong? My mother said if I wasn’t so fucked up in the brain there wouldn’t be a problem

I went home that night channel surfing and ended up watching Dr Ruth on TV eventually I went to bed crying cause not only did I survive, but I helped a possible victim years before. To a degree my faith in people was slowly coming back realizing maybe had I not isolated myself so much I would have found others who truly were concerned me as well as loved me maybe in a relative sense.

Again to the girl and instructor wherever you are, thank you, you have no idea how you saved my life

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  1. Ashley Day Captain

    The girl who told the driving instructor what happened and the passenger who handed your glasses to you seem like compassionate people. It sounds like the driving instructor didn’t press you for information – Instead, he had a basic understanding of what occurred and he supported you. We need more people like them in our world and I’m glad you had the opportunity to cross paths with the three of them.

  2. CarmenR Volunteer

    Thank you for sharing this story with us. I’m glad you were able to help another victim. Please continue to keep sharing with us.


  3. Erin Day Captain

    This is a great story-thank you for sharing. I’m happy to know that you have these great memories.


  4. Heather GG

    I’m so sorry for what happened to you. I’m sorry your mom didn’t support you. You deserved better.

    I’m glad you were able to find some support from your teacher and other students.

    Thank you for sharing your story