Hopeless

I guess it’s safe to say this is the first & maybe the last time I try to admit myself into a psych ward.
I got into a heated argument with my family, that started out small and it escalated to the point where my PTSD was triggered so bad, my mom had no choice but to take me into the emergency room, where I spent four hours for nothing.
Unfortunately, I’d literally have to be in full suicidal mode to legally be admitted to the ward, which I wasn’t, so now I’m back home feeling humiliated, embarassed and ashamed.
Luckily though, I was given resources to a women’s organization for sexual assault/domestic violence, so I’ll look into that program.
Other than that, I cannot help but help hopeless..


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12 comments

  1. MinZRivers Volunteer

    Jamie Marie, I’m glad you feel comfortable enough with us to come back. We are always here for you. I’m sorry you had this bad episode.. Maybe the women’s organization can help you better than anything you have tried in the past. Please reach out to them and I will be looking forward to a more positive future update. You are in my prayers and thoughts. Much love?-Kia

  2. Natalie M Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie, thank you for coming back to update us. I am so sorry you had to go through all of this. Im glad you were given resources for a women’s organization. I hope that you are able to participate in this group and that it helps you on your journey! You are very strong and I hope that you know that. You will get through this. We are all here for you!!

  3. blashea

    I am so sorry that you’re feeling this way. I hope that program helps you. You are so strong and brave and we are all so proud of you. Thank you for keeping us updated. I know it may not seem like it, but with time, things will start to look up. You are so important to us. We are all always here for you.

  4. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I’m so sorry you went through this and that you’re feeling hopeless. You have been trying to get help, which is amazing. I hope the women’s organization will help you. I believe in you, and I know you can get through this. We’re always here to support you, and we’re proud of you. Thank you for updating us.

  5. whispersofsoul

    I’m so sorry to hear that, I think the program is a more ideal option and I am sure they can help you through this.
    Keep us updated <3

  6. kelly Day Captain

    Hi, Jamie Marie. I’m sorry you went through that experience at the emergency room, that sounds awful. Very glad to hear you’re okay and that you found some resources – I hope they work out for you. I think you’re incredibly strong for surviving everything you’ve gone through, and I know you can get through this too. I know you feel embarrassed and shameful now, but it takes incredible courage to try to get help for yourself and I think you should be proud of that.

  7. alexcostello Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I’m so sorry to hear about this triggering experience, I can imagine it would’ve felt quite draining and overwhelming. Please try not to feel embarrassed or shamed or humiliated, I know it can be hard sometimes but know that we all think you’re strong and brave and you’re doing the best you can and that’s the most important. I’m also sorry to hear that the hospital wasn’t as helpful as they should’ve been although I think the organisations might be a great reference point for resources and for a sense of community and support for moving forward. I am not sure if this is the greatest piece of advice but I know that whenever I feel hopeless I start with the tiniest things to build me back up again. A lot of people say that the best way to start is to find three things a day that make you happy but I find just one and it may not even be something that makes you feel happy but something that makes the earth a special place. My favourite thing is leaves. They always make me feel grateful to be here. All their colours and shapes. So it could be nice to find something like that, something that makes you happy or grateful to be on this earth, or something that makes this earth special no matter how small it is. Another favourite of mine is the smell when it rains. Such a strange and unique smell. I hope this has helped a little bit, please know we are always here for you
    Love always
    Alex

  8. Solongago

    I think that the sexual assault/domestic violence program can be very helpful. We had a rape crisis center here years ago, and besides being advocates for women and girls going through the court system, they also put on groups for survivors. I was in a place where I really could not pay, and they did not charge anything. They put on a self-defense class too, that my sister and I went to.

  9. Turnschaosintoart Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    Psych wards are scary and can be beneficial as well but they are right if you aren’t on full blown suicidal mode they wont admit you. Which in your situation I feel you would benefit more from the program suggested and seeing your therapist and doing the PTSD treatment. The psych ward would watch you, give you meds and make you do group therapy with a bunch of other patients all different problems that may or may not help you. Plus they do a lot of coping skills which is the part I got the most out of. But you can do that with your therapist. Plus the food normally sucks. Haha. I really hope this program has some good information and is beneficial for you. You are doing really well and I know you are getting stronger. It just takes time. Keep us posted. Thinking of you
    Kristin

  10. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I’m so sorry that happened to you. You have nothing to feel ashamed of. You were trying to get the help that you want. I’m happy you are not in full suicidal mode. I hope the woman’s organization helps you. Things will get better when they calm down.
    -Alyssa

  11. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear Jamie Marie,
    I am sorry to hear that this happened and that you are feeling hopeless. Our health industry leaves a lot to be desired… Adding more sources of support to what you are already doing may be really beneficial to you.
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  12. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    We are glad you are still here. I’m so sorry you were so triggered, and that the hospital wasn’t more helpful. Let us know how the resources help you, and if you need help finding others. I think they will help-you don’t have to be ashamed for your PTSD. It’s not your fault. Thank you for coming back to share more.

    Erin