Hey guys, it’s me April with an update from last Wednesday. Tomorrow is my 24th birthday, and I couldn’t talk to my therapist yesterday because my phone is broken and I won’t have one for a while. Thus far, it’s been very liberating without a phone. I thought I’d be totally lost! But no! I feel like Carrie Bradshaw — happy with only her laptop. Haha! 

I’ve been doing some things to keep me occupied after the breakup I went through two weeks ago. I’m no longer on Bumble, which is a blessing in disguise as they say. Some of you said it’s not completely abnormal to be on a dating site after a breakup. But I need this time to take care of and reconnect with who I really am. On what would’ve been our 1 year anniversary, I sunbathed (it was perfect for that here where I live.) I watched “Clueless” and “Legally Blonde” — my two favorite movies of all time (amongst others lol.) And I journaled and read. Not to mention there was a “Sex and the City” marathon, can you tell I love that show? I’ve been working out as well as getting in touch with my spirituality, too! As for my drinking, I’m still working on that. 

The one thing I’m worried about for tomorrow is that my dad will be negative. He chose today to get tested for the coronavirus and we don’t find out for another 24-48 hours. I’m scared because he has a weak immune system from fighting cancer (it’s in remission, and it has been for 10.5 years.) As of now, everything is fine and I don’t think that anything will come of the test. 


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42 comments

  1. Shari Volunteer

    Hi april-federico,

    Thank you for sharing! I hope you had a good birthday! It seems like you had a great time post-breakup, it’s great to keep your mind occupied. I see a lot of self-care here and it’s fantastic for you and your overall health. I hope your father is okay. Please keep up the good work! Take care of yourself and continue to share your stories as you please. We are always here to support you and cheer you on.

    Sending love and support,
    Shari

  2. pvb Volunteer

    Hi april-federico,

    Thank you for sharing! Happy belated birthday !! I hope that you had a safe and enjoyable time especially during these times. I am so glad you came back and truly took time for yourself. I am proud to hear that you are doing so many things to up lift yourself ! So much progress, I love reading that !! I hope everything was okay with your father! I am wishing you both the best health, mentally, emotionally, and physically!
    Take care and keep us updated! Keep thriving 🙂

  3. zelda Volunteer

    Happy 4th of July, April!

    I think it’s a fantastic idea that you are taking time for yourself and working through your struggles. It’s extremely important to know who we are, what we need, and what we want before getting romantically involved with another person. It can be difficult, frustrating, and draining, but, in the end, the dedication and commitment is worth it.

    When you cultivate a strong sense of self esteem, self respect, and self love, you will naturally attract people who do the same. Birds of a feather flock together.

    I married my husband before I took the time to work on my issues. If I could go back to the past, I would’ve been in therapy way before I ever even considered dating again. Now, I’m not only working on myself, but I’m also working on being a capable wife, full time student, vital volunteer, hardworking employee, and well rounded woman. Even though my life can be beautiful, it’s also crazy, hectic, and, at times, stressful. It’s a lot to manage and take on all at once.

    Even though relationships and marriage can be wonderful and fulfilling, they can also be riddled with conflict, pain, and disappointment. If you don’t take the time to work on yourself, you may end up in an even worse situation than the one you were in before.

    Heal your wounds, and gift yourself with a little TLC. As you already know, a man by your side isn’t important right now.

    But having you by your side, is. 🙂

  4. Hugo Volunteer

    Hey April-federico,

    Thank you for updating and trusting us with your story. First off, props to you for managing to get through the days without using a phone, i should try that myself! It sounds like you’ve been managing pretty well and I am so proud of you! Continue to participate in activities you love that bring you relaxation and peace. Your self-care is the most important and with time you will get better! I also hope things go well for you father, sending you positive vibes. Please let us know if you need anything, we are here for you!

    -Hugo

  5. rohina_kumar Volunteer

    Hi April,

    Thank you so much for the update. I’m glad that you’re finding relief in not using your phone for long periods of time and taking a break from Bumble. I’m really happy that you indulged yourself in activities you find rather therapeutic, such as sunbathing, watching movies, journaling, reading, and working out. Focusing on your self-care, physically and mentally, is such a great thing to do and I hope that you’re still continuing that routine. I hope things with your father go alright and I know that you just recently opened up to him, so I hope that went well too. We’re all here to support you. Sending you so much love.

  6. Turnschaosintoart Day Captain

    Hi april-federico
    Happy belated bday. I love your sex and the city references even though I have only seen parts of it. I can see how being without a phone could be liberating. I am glad you are doing ok after the breakup. Yes bumble is probably not the best idea. It is good you are focusing on yourself and taking care of you because you are the most important thing. I love how you did what you wanted on what would have been your anniversary. You are doing so well. I hope things with your dad went ok. Sending positive vibes,

    Kristin

  7. Dayana143 Volunteer

    Hey April!
    I admire you for being able to handle not having a phone! Thats good and I think more people should try it.
    I’m sorry you couldn’t contact your therapist, but you always have us here at AVFTI.
    Taking time for yourself is always important, and I believe it helps a lot especially in the process of healing. I’m glad you enjoyed doing the things you love on your birthday. I hope you and your family stay safe, and healthy.

  8. brookeallnutt Volunteer

    Hi April,

    Thank you so much for updating us! I’m so glad to hear that you’ve been keeping busy doing things you enjoy. I think it’s great that you are taking time to care for yourself. We’re always here for you if you need someone to talk to!

  9. lizzi

    Hey April,
    Happy belated birthday! I’m so glad that you have taken time to take care of yourself and find enjoyable things to do! I absolutely love Legally Blonde and Clueless, and sunbathing sounds amazing as well. I’m sorry to hear about your dad having to be tested for covid and I hope that his test came back negative! Stay healthy!

  10. Jess Volunteer

    Thank you for coming back to update us! I’m glad to hear that you’ve been able to keep yourself occupied after your breakup. Breakups can be difficult, but I’m glad to hear that you’re taking this time to reconnect with who you are. I think what others have said regarding your drinking is very important – take it one step at a time. Some days will be better than others, and that’s okay. Just keep taking those steps the best that you can. If you find yourself in need of more assistance, be sure to reach out for help.

    I’m sorry to hear that your dad is high risk for the virus and he decided to get tested. I think your approach of simply waiting for the test to come back is a great way of looking at it! Try to keep yourself as occupied as you can, as that anxiety is so real.

    On the plus side, happy belated birthday! I hope your day was wonderful and you were able to really celebrate yourself in some way. If you need anything else, please reach out. We are always here and we believe you. Stay strong and keep fighting. <3
    -Jess

  11. Breanna Volunteer

    Hey April,

    Thanks for sharing another update with us! It’s crazy to think about how much we rely on our phones and panic if something would happen to it. But it can be so liberating! I’m glad you’re feeling that way. Breakups are hard and everyone goes at their own pace. I’m so happy to hear that you are taking real action to take care of yourself and do things that you enjoy. With the drinking, don’t beat yourself up too much over it. It is one step at a time, and you are doing great! Let us know how we can support you. Best of luck on the results of your dad’s coronavirus test! We are here for you. Stay strong!

    Sending love and support,
    Bre

  12. SydSquid Volunteer

    Hey April,
    Thanks for the update! it seems like even though you are going through all this stuff you are still taking the time to take care of yourself and your own mental health. I know that watching my favorite mood always makes me in a better mood too. I hope you had a good birthday and remember to stay strong through this time

  13. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear april-federico,
    Thank you for coming back to update us. Happy Belated Birthday!! I hope you had a wonderful day and that everything turned out well for your dad. It sounds like you found some great ways for self-care on a day that could have been difficult. Keep taking care of yourself!!
    Sending you strength and love,
    Roxie

  14. Starling Volunteer

    Hi April,
    Thank you for continuing to share your story with us. I’m glad things are going better. I hope your dad is okay, and that things continue to look up! If you ever need anything, let us know. We’re always here for you.

  15. Ryan4121 Volunteer

    Thank you, April, for sharing. We are glad you gave us an update. We are so happy you are making progress! You are an inspiration for everyone here. We hop your dad is OK. Sending positive vibes!
    Ryan

  16. dzreid Volunteer

    Hi April!
    Thanks for sharing an update! I think with this virus, it’s hard enough to deal with, but when it comes to someone close to us, just the thought of a positive test could increase our stress. All I can say in regards to that, is I hope it’s negative. If it’s positive, all you can do is take it day by day. I’m hoping the results will be negitive.

    Sometimes, by taking a break allows us to have the time to reconnect with ourselves. I think by recognizing that you needed a break is a huge accomplishment! It’s a good thing that you able to acknowledge that a break is what you need. You deserve to have those breaks! Continue pressing on. You will be ok. You are indeed a warrior, Keep fighting for you because you are worth it!
    Dawn

  17. Natalie M Day Captain

    Hi April,

    Happy birthday (a few days late)! I am glad that you were able to take some time for yourself and get through a day you thought would be difficult. It sounds like you are making great progress! Small strides to feeling like yourself again! I am so proud of all you have been doing since your last update!! Don’t forget how strong you are!

    I hope that your dad is okay and tests negative. I’m sure that is very scary for him and for you! Hoping for the best!

    Keep working hard for yourself and stay strong! We will be here if you want to give us another update!

    -Natalie

  18. meg Volunteer

    Hi April-Federico,

    Thank you for updating us! I am so happy to see that you’re finding happiness! Happy Birthday!

    It’s a scary part after a breakup to relearn who you are on your own, but it is so important. It is wonderful that you’re doing things that make you feel like yourself. I’m proud of how you’re moving forward. Loving yourself is an ongoing process.

    Be gentle with yourself while waiting for results, I hope they come back quickly.
    -Meg

  19. Lex Volunteer

    Hi april-federico,

    I am so happy that you came back to give us an update! I am glad that you kept yourself occupied after the breakup, it is so important that you take care of yourself first and reconnect with who you truly are on the inside. You chose some really great movies to watch, “Clueless” and “Sex and the City” never get old! It is okay that you are still working on your drinking, everything takes time. You have made great progress thus far and should be proud of yourself! As for your dad, I hope that the results come back negative. Stay strong!

    -Lex

  20. aegardiner Volunteer

    Hi april-rederico,

    It’s so good to hear an update from you and I hope that you had a wonderful birthday! It’s funny how being without a phone can be liberating sometimes – we realize how tied to it we get and how much energy and time it takes up.

    I’m so glad to hear that you’ve been doing so many fun activities. Being in the sun is a perfect antidote for any time one is feeling blue, I think! Also, binging your favorite movies and shows is a great idea. It sounds like you are making so much progress so not being able to do everything at once is okay. You’ve proven to yourself already that you have the ability to make yourself happy and take control of what you can. The fact that you are wanting to work on the drinking is a great first step and there are many resources out there that can help you if you feel like you need some additional assistance.

    I hope that you have already gotten back good news since you posted here regarding your dad’s test.

    Everyone here is in your corner and happy to hear your updates. Please continue to reach out to us as much as you’d like!

  21. Amysue43 Volunteer

    We’re happy your back to give us an update! I praise you for focusing on yourself as it can truly make the difference in your relationships with others and yourself. I might suggest guided meditation or something of that matter. It has worked wonders for me when I find that I could practice self-awareness. It does take a couple tries to find a playlist of guided meditation that fits your needs, but I know Spotify has several. I love that you’re setting time aside to journal as well because it provides such a unique self-reflection. If you chose to check out guided meditation, journaling can also be beneficial to help you identify what works and what doesn’t for you as well as your progress. Your hard work does not go unnoticed, and I am so proud of you!
    Your concerns with drinking could be addressed with other resources as well. If you feel that you’d like some guidance in that manner, reaching out to someone for help could work!
    Stay strong <3

  22. Marissa Day Captain

    Hi April,

    Thanks for the update! I’m so glad to hear that you dealt with your one-year-anniversary issue in such a healthy way. That takes a lot of strength! It sounds like you had a really calm day. I LOVE Sex and the City!!! You’ve got great taste, haha! As for your drinking, it’s okay that you’re still working on it. That’s tough to just quit and no one expects that from you. Just take it one step at a time. You’ve got this!

    I hope your dad’s test came back in his favor. Please let us know if there’s anything we can do for you. We’re here for you!

    Marissa

  23. Solongago Volunteer

    I hope you had a nice birthday. I hope your dad is ok, and doesn’t have the virus, or if he does they know quickly and can get him on some good meds. It sounds like you are doing some good things and taking care of yourself. That’s awesome! I am so happy that you are doing things for yourself — watching movies you like, getting in touch with your spirituality, and working on the drinking. I think you should be proud of your progress. Know too that we are here for you, and whenever you feel the need you can talk to us. Keep up the good work.

  24. Northlane1991 Volunteer

    Hey April

    Happy Birthday have a blessed day. I am glad you are doing better lately. Remember you are in charge of your healing If you don’t feel ready to get back to dating yet it is okay. It sounds like you have a lot of positive think happening in your life right now. Please keep us posted and know we are here for you and care for you!

  25. candyappleb Volunteer

    Hi April,

    Happy birthday! I hope you had a wonderful day. It’s nice to hear from you again. I’m glad to hear that you’ve been doing better lately. Remember you are in charge of your healing. If you don’t feel ready to get back to dating just yet, that’s totally okay. It sounds like you have a lot of positive things happening in your life right now. I hope your father’s test results come back negative and that he will feel better soon.

    All the best,
    Becca

  26. haesol Volunteer

    Hi, april-federico

    It’s so nice to hear from you again! Happy late birthday! I hope you had a good one.

    I totally understand what you mean by feeling liberated without a phone, I experienced that too a couple of months ago, i’m glad you are seeing the positive side of it.

    It’s so good to know you’ve been distracting yourself and spending a good time! sounds like you’ve been taking care of yourself too, that’s amazing.

    I wish you the best for you and your dad–by the time I’m writing this the results must have come already, I hope they’re negative and that he’s okay.

    Thank you for updating us, we’re always here for you.

    stay safe

    -sol.

  27. Ashley Day Captain

    Welcome back, april-federico!

    I hope you enjoyed your birthday! If I didn’t have a phone, I would feel liberated too.
    I commend you for keeping yourself busy after the breakup and for recognizing that you need to take care of yourself right now. It sounds like you have various coping skills (sunbathing, watching movies, journaling, etc.) that you can rely on to improve your mood, which is wonderful!
    It has been a few days since you posted this update and your dad’s results should have come back by now; I hope he’s okay.

    Continue to take care of yourself,

    Ashley

  28. jcas120 Volunteer

    Hello april-federico,

    Its great to have you back for another update! I am writing this post after your birthday, so I hope it was a great day! I’m really glad you feel more liberated without your phone. I recently went through something similar and am now considering buying a non smart-phone to carry around. It really does feel great to not have phone/social media so close by all the time. I’m also glad to hear that you’re staying occupied and it sounds like it’s been good for you and that you’re trying to reconnect with who you are. Also, not gonna lie, Clueless is a pretty good movie. It sounds like you are doing great with self care lately.

    I am sending you well wishes for your dad! I hope that test comes out negative as well. I’m glad he is fine as of now, he sounds like quite a fighter.

    Please come back for another update whenever you wish!

  29. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi april-federico,
    Happy birthday! I’m happy that you have been connecting with yourself and putting yourself first. It sounds like breaking your phone was a blessing in disguise. Those are also some of my favorite movies.
    It is okay that you are still working on your drinking. You have many a lot of other big accomplishments like not being on bumble and working on self love.
    I hope your dad is okay and that he tests back negative. I know how scary coronavirus is and how painful just the test can be.
    Thank you for updating us. Continue to stay strong. We are here for you and I hope your dad is okay.
    -Alyssa

  30. musicislove

    Hi April-federico,

    I hope you had a great birthday! I’m sorry you weren’t able to see your therapist this week but I’m glad you’ve been focusing on yourself and your feelings right now! I could see how not having a phone could feel liberating and I’m glad you’re enjoying your time without it! I just watched Clueless the other day, always a great pick. I hope that your dad is okay and healthy so you and your family don’t have to worry about that. Thank you for sharing an update and please share again anytime, we’re always here for you.

    Delaney

  31. KatherineL Volunteer

    Hey april-federico,

    Happy Birthday! We have similar taste in movies/shows! Sex and the City is one of my go-to shows for comfort and empowerment. I’m proud of you for taking the time to think about your needs, coming to realize that you need to take care of yourself and reconnect, and taking the steps to do so. You should be proud of yourself for taking care of your needs. I wish you the best in reconnecting to yourself; you seem like a really wonderful person so I am glad you’re rediscovering that.

    Thanks for sharing regarding your dad. That is really scary and stressful. Try to use the helpful methods for coping that you’ve been working on. I’m sending positive wishes your way. We’re here for you!

    KatherineL

  32. colton95 Volunteer

    I love Legally Blonde too haha. I’m actually really looking forward to the 3rd one coming out (hopefully) soon. Thank you for updating us! Feel free to share your thoughts whenever and however long you want. I hope that your dad will be okay and that you and your whole family will be safe and well.

  33. rkr18 Volunteer

    Hello April-Federico,

    So great to hear from you again. Thanks for updating us and Happy birthday and may you have a peaceful and enjoyable day!!.
    Let us know how your dad is doing.
    -Marie

  34. JWorks Volunteer

    Hi April!

    I’m glad to hear your journey is going well. Also, I’m glad to hear you’ve found a hobby in HBO’s “sex and the city” and other shows lol. Taking time to connect with yourself is very important and it’s awesome that you’ve continued to do that. I really hope your dad is okay and keep us updated!

    -Jay

  35. blashea Volunteer

    Hi, thank you for continuing to trust us with your journey! We are so proud of you and the positive steps forward you are taking. You are so strong. I hope everything is okay with your dad!

  36. Kevin Casey Volunteer

    Happy birthday I am happy that you are keeping yourself occupied and staying busy it’s good to stay busy through the panathenaic that’s going on with this covid-19 I hope that your dad’s okay that he does not have it and I wish you good luck and you’re in are players and thank you for the update if there’s anything else that you need or have any questions we are always here for you at avfti

  37. larakopp Volunteer

    Hi, April:

    It’s good to hear from you! Happy Birthday!! I hope you’re having a good day and that you’re doing something fun to celebrate 🙂

    Oh, geesh; I hope you hear back about the test sooner rather than later so you don’t have to be nervous for long. Hopefully your dad can have a positive outlook today knowing it’s your birthday.

    It sounds like you’re doing a great job taking care of yourself and keeping yourself occupied and distracted — That’s great!! I’m glad you’re feeling good about getting off Bumble and finding different connections with yourself and who you are and what you want! I love all those movies and show’s, too 🙂 There’s also something empowering about watching the female main characters — they all find themselves and their confidence / inner “boss,” which helps me get motivated. LOL.

    Keep on doing you; You’re doing a great job! The rest will come soon enough.

  38. mikaylaanne11 Volunteer

    Hi again april-federico!

    I’m glad to hear that you’ve been finding lots of positive coping mechanisms in the past week! It’s always a little bit of trial-and-error until you really find what works, and it sounds like you’re really putting in that work. That’s awesome, and you are so powerful for taking that time for yourself! I’m also glad that you were able to keep stable through the anniversary. Keep it up 🙂

    Sending lots of positive vibes to you and your family, as well. A couple of my best friends had COVID for a while, and it was pretty rough. They’re negative now, so I hope the same is true for your dad!

  39. kelly Day Captain

    Hi, April. Thanks for the update. It sounds like you’re doing a lot of great things to take care of yourself. Keep it up! I’m sorry you’re worried about your dad. I know it’s a scary time right now, but I think it’s great that you are trying to stay focused on the present and take everything one step at a time. I’ll keep you guys in my thoughts. We’re always here for you if you want to come back.

  40. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    Thank you for coming to update us! And I think it’s good that you are doing things for you and taking breaks from phone/dating. Listening to your own needs can be difficult, and it’s great that you’re doing that for yourself! I hope your dad is okay, and you can come back to share whenever you need-and happy early birthday!

    Erin

  41. loveishere2020 Volunteer

    Happy Birthday April! I’m so happy for you! You sound like you are in such good spirits… hurray!!

    The coronavirus test is just a test and a lot of them have been proven to be broken. I am here if things don’t play out how you anticipate them, okay?

    Stay positive and keep looking inward 🙂

    Stay safe – Hollie

  42. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi April,
    I’m glad that you feel free without your phone and that you’re keeping yourself occupied. You’re involved in some healthy hobbies and lifestyle choices, which is great! Keep doing what helps you!! You’re acknowledging your progress and you sound hopeful, which is wonderful.
    Is there any way you could video chat with your therapist on your laptop? This may help you continue your therapy sessions since you won’t have a phone for a while.
    As for your dad, I hope he’ll be okay. How you’re feeling is valid, and I’m sending love to you and your family!
    Thank you for the update. We’re here for you whenever you need us, and we’re rooting for you. You’re doing great, and happy early birthday! I hope tomorrow is a wonderful day for you!