I’m feeling better than I have in a while.

I’ve added consistent self care to my schedule, and that’s been helping a lot. I decided to be kinder to myself instead of getting frustrated about my feelings. I started validating my feelings again and figuring out what I can control. I thought about some of the coping mechanisms I learned in DBT, and I’ve been using them.

With regards to my internship, I was feeling very insecure during the first month of it. I kept wondering if I was contributing enough during meetings and if I was good enough. After a while, I got tired of thinking this way. I was tired of feeling like everything I said was wrong. There’s this DBT process in which one of the steps is asking yourself, “do the feelings fit the facts?” At first, that question didn’t make sense to me. Now the way I think of it is, “is there objective evidence that supports my interpretation of events?” I realized that there was no objective evidence to prove that I wasn’t good enough, and this helped me feel better. I also asked my manager for feedback, and he told me about my strengths and areas of improvement. It helped me see that I’m not doing everything wrong. I’m doing better than I give myself credit for, and I put too much pressure on myself. I’m working on unlearning this and finding my way out of negative thought cycles.

I’ve been keeping in touch with my friends. I feel like I’m becoming a better listener. My default action is to give advice when someone is going through something. I truly want to help, which is why I have this urge to give advice. However, I’m working on giving advice only when the person asks for it. Sometimes a person may not want advice or a solution; they might just want someone to listen. I’ve been listening, validating, and asking more questions so I can understand where the person is coming from. I ask if the person wants advice beforehand. I feel like this has improved my friendships, and I’m proud of myself for doing this.

I’m in love with one of my friends. He’s so kind, empathetic, and driven. I feel like we ‘get’ each other, and I can tell him anything. My feelings get stronger the more I talk to him. I want to get to know him slowly instead of rushing into anything. I’m cautious yet excited. I have this feeling that he likes me, but I don’t want to assume and possibly jeopardize the friendship. If he doesn’t feel the same way, it’ll hurt, but I’m happy with our friendship. I want the best for him, even if it’s not with me.

As for family, things are going well right now. I don’t tell my parents everything. When I’m not feeling great, I tell them just enough to address their concern while avoiding invalidation. I remind myself that I can’t control my parents’ reactions, and this helps me feel better. I remember that I can stop these unhealthy generational cycles with awareness and effort.

I haven’t seen my assailant in about four months, and it has helped immensely. It’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can breathe freely.

The uncertainty of what will happen in the future (due to the pandemic, etc.) is creating a fog around me. In the midst of that uncertainty, I am taking one step at a time and focusing on the wonderful parts of my life. It has taken a while to reach this point, and I’m glad I’ve reached here. Thank you all for being so supportive and kind; it means more than I can put into words.


Join the Conversation

41 comments

  1. eagle206 Volunteer

    Hi Music2799,

    So glad to hear that you are feeling better recently. It sounds like you are making amazing progress with your self-care and coping! I’m sure you are doing amazing at your internship. The company is lucky to have you. It’s also always good to check in with a manager for feedback, that’s one of the best ways to grow. That’s a great way to approach listening and helping friends! Sometimes people just need to talk things through and have someone to listen to them and that’s a great help. Oooh, it’s so exciting having a crush! Those butterfly feelings are some of the best. The uncertainty of the pandemic is hard but it sounds like you are in an amazing place.

    Stay strong,

    Tyler

  2. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear music2799,
    Thank you for the update. It is good to hear about the healing that is happening in your life! You have grown so much from your first post to now. You are good enough and you deserve to have your internship (also, internships are for learning, so it’s okay if you don’t know something). Keep healing, even in these uncertain times.
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  3. Amysue43 Volunteer

    I am so proud of you. You have really taken the time to evaluate your own perspective and behaviors. This is very unique and shouldn’t be overlooked. You are putting your best foot forward with this attitude and it’s going to work wonders for you! This self-assessment can be overwhelming without some kind of downloading process where you’re not doing it all by yourself. Perhaps you are already doing this, but you could start journaling to help clear your thoughts when it comes to the overwhelming thoughts or concerns you have. It can also help you keep track of your feelings and progress – similar to this post.
    I also love that you asked for feedback and you are being more conscious of ho you contribute to conversation whether that be in the workplace or with friends. You are amazing!
    Stay strong <3

  4. candyappleb Volunteer

    Hi Music2799,

    I’m so glad to hear that you’re doing well! It sounds like you’ve overcome many of the issues that have bothered you recently and I am so proud of you. Healing isn’t easy and it’s inspiring to see that you continue to take the appropriate steps to continue getting better. I’m also really glad that you finally got a break from seeing your assailant. I know you really needed one. I understand exactly what you’re talking about when you reference the “fog” of everything going on with the pandemic. I’m glad that you’re able to navigate your way through it. We’re always here to listen and help when we can. Please feel free to write again anytime.

    All the best,
    Becca

  5. lizzi

    Hey music2799,
    Thank you so much for updating us! This was absolutely wonderful to read. You’re doing so much work to improve your mood, your self-confidence, to become a better friend, and overall have healthier and happier relationships. I can relate to so much of what you said you previously did, and it’s scary to do things like ask a supervisor for how you can improve but that is so important in becoming more confident in your work and less anxious. This post was really inspiring and it sounds so positive. Keep up the amazing work and know that we’re all so proud of you!

  6. rohina_kumar Volunteer

    Hi music2799,

    Thank you so much for coming on here and updating us! Reading your update really made me so happy and I’m genuinely so glad about how far you’ve come. I’m so glad that DBT has been so helpful for you and you’re able to apply it in such effective ways in your daily life experiences. It’s during moments like that you really realize that therapy really paid off for you. You’ve come such a long way through your healing journey. Indulging in self-care, giving yourself credit for all the hard work you do in your workplace, keeping in touch with friends and noticing your growth in character by becoming a good listener, having feelings for one of your friends because you truly trust him and handling things with your family so wonderfully – these are all signs of immense growth, development and maturity. Although I understand there’s still an uncertainty that looms around us due to COVID, I’m so happy with the positive mindset you’ve managed to maintain thus far, and encourage you to continue having the same attitude throughout. Continue fighting like the warrior you are, and from the looks of it, you’re already halfway there! We’re always here to support you and we’re so proud of you. All the love.

  7. Edjay Volunteer

    Hi music2799,

    It’s wonderful to hear about the things you’ve been doing. It seems like you’ve made great progress with regards to self-care. It sounds like DBT has been helpful for you. It’s completely understandable to feel insecure when starting new positions. Being placed in a new environment while learning what tasks you need to do can be daunting, but it seems like you were able to get through that initial hurdle of feeling insecure, and that’s definitely something to be proud of. It’s great hearing about your friendships, and that you even have romantic interests in one of your friends. He definitely sounds like a great person, and it’s nice of you to want what’s best for him.
    It’s great hearing from you, and I hope you continue updating us in your journey. Take care.

  8. brookeallnutt Volunteer

    Hi music2799,

    It’s always nice to hear from you! I’m so happy that you’ve been practicing self care, and I’m glad it’s been helping you. Definitely continue to do that. It’s great that you’ve started questioning your thoughts and getting out of your negative thought cycle. I definitely need to do that more myself. It’s also great that you’re becoming a better listener as well, and you should definitely be proud of yourself! I hope things work out with you and your friend, but even if it doesn’t it’s great that you have such a good friendship. I hope your relationship with your family gets better, and I love how you want to stop the unhealthy generational cycles. It’s normal to feel scared or confused during these uncertain times- I sure do! Take care of yourself, and I hope things continue to go well for you!

  9. haesol Volunteer

    Hi music2799,

    Thank you for updating us! It is truly wonderful to know about the things you’ve been doing to take care of yourself. Self-care is so important and I’m glad you’re noticing its positive impact in your life.

    It seems like you’re on track with your emotions and the way that you’ve been presenting yourself to the world and that shows a lot of growth, it is nice to know that you are truly making an effort on being a better you (and you’re doing amazing!!)

    I’m glad your internship is going well, you seem determined to do things right. Thank you for sharing the question that’s a part of the DBT process– “do the feelings fit the facts?”– it can be really helpful and I haven’t thought about it before!

    I’m sure your friends appreciate the effort you are making too! realizing that not everyone wants advice can be challenging because it often is our first response, but you know that is not always the case and I think that is highly valuable. Listening and understanding can mean more than a thousand words sometimes.

    I wish you the best in every aspect of your life. I look forward to hear more from you soon! We are here for you, always 🙂

    Stay safe,

    -sol.

  10. jcas120 Volunteer

    Hello music2799,

    It’s great to have you back to share more with us! I’m glad that you’ve been feeling better lately, during a pandemic this is a big accomplishment and it sounds like you’re doing great work! This is wonderful to see. I can certainly see how not seeing your assailant for a few months is also beneficial, it really sounds like you’re using this time to do some great work for yourself. If you ever do have to see him again, I know you’ll be able to handle it and he won’t stop you on your healing journey. To me, it looks like your miles ahead in a race and nobody can stop you now!

    I’m glad to hear about the coping skills you’ve learned from DBT, and I am glad to see that your internship is going well after incorporating those skills. These accomplishments are wonderful and its interesting to see how everything is tying in together. It also sounds like you’re being a great friend to your friends! During a pandemic, I’m sure they really appreciate that and I know they will be there for you when you need them. It’s also great to see that you have feelings for someone, I hope things work out for the both of you.

    It’s really great to see that you’re making positive steps and embracing the uncertainty. I look forward to your next update!

  11. Ashley Day Captain

    music2799,

    Implementing self-care into our lives and treating ourselves with kindness can make such a difference. I can tell that you’re using some of the suggestions from the comments on your previous post to guide you on your healing journey.
    I’m glad that you have been able to recall and rely on some of the coping mechanisms you learned from the DBT group.
    I read your story when it was posted but I didn’t have the opportunity to respond until today – The question “do the feelings fit the facts?” helped me when I had an unpleasant encounter at work; thank you for sharing that with us.
    The fact that you asked your manager to provide you with feedback demonstrates that you’re determined to strive in your internship. It can be easy for us to get stuck in negative thoughts and I know you have enough power to find a way to step away from those unpleasant thoughts.
    When you say that people might not want advice, I believe that’s true. It’s great how you’re asking whether or not someone wants advice about their situation. As humans, most of us don’t listen to understand, but we listen to reply.

    Continue to be kind to yourself. You got this!

    Ashley

  12. Northlane1991 Volunteer

    I am glad you are doing well. Self-care is such an important tool to use and always be kinder to your self. I know things are weird because of a pandemic but we will get through this. Please come back when you need to express yourself.

  13. musicislove

    Hi music2799,

    I’m glad you’re doing well! Self care can be so helpful and I’m glad it’s been good for you. Being kinder to yourself also makes a world of difference so that’s great. I wish you the best with your friend that you have feelings for, that’s exciting! It’s also great to hear that things are going well with your family. Your parents don’t need to know every detail and boundaries are healthy. I know things are weird right now because f the pandemic, but focusing on the good is so important, you’re doing great. Please come back to share anytime, we’re always here!

    Delaney

  14. Thomas Volunteer

    Hi music2799,

    It’s great to hear that you’ve been able to apply self-care so effectively to different aspects of your life. You’re doing a great job! It’s great you’re beginning to give yourself the credit you deserve. You’re a smart and capable person. It’s exciting you’re in love. I wish you the best!

    Keep going, you’re doing a fantastic job. Stay strong.

  15. KatherineL Volunteer

    Hi music2799,

    Wow, it seems like you’re doing a lot of wonderful things to care for yourself. It’s great to see you doing things that allow for validation in your feelings and strengths. You should be proud! I can certainly relate to a lot you shared, and am working on some of these things in my own self-care and healing. I really like the tool you shared to help address insecurity, I am going to use this moving forward. Thanks for sharing and please feel free to continue giving us updates!

    KatherineL

  16. colton95 Volunteer

    A lot of bad things are happening in my life right now, but hearing about how you’re going to stay positive despite the uncertainty and difficulties ahead is inspiring to me. I’m glad that you are trying to focus on the wonderful parts of your life and I’m going to do the same. Stay safe and positive!

  17. rkr18 Volunteer

    Hello Music2799,

    Its so nice to hear from you. I am so happy that you are growing as a person. It takes time, but it is worth it. Please continue to update us and I wish you continued growth.

    -Marie

  18. snandi2 Volunteer

    Hey music2799,

    Thanks for sharing your story with us! Your determination and perseverance are an inspiration to all of us here at AVFTI. Personally, my default action is to also give advice to my friends whenever they ask for my help or just rant about what’s happening in their lives. I’ve been trying to just listen instead of offering advice, but I feel so bad for them that it’s hard not to offer them help. Seeing your story was an inspiration to me because I know that I’m not alone. As for your friend, I think you should shoot your shot and ask him out! He probably feels the same way about you and doesn’t want to ask you out for the exact same reason you’re not asking him out. Worst case scenario, he says no and your feelings get hurt. But, he’ll still remain a close friend. You’re an extremely strong person and I’m so glad to hear that you’re doing better. The future may be uncertain, but you’re doing an amazing job and I hope you continue to update us with your stories!

  19. Nichole-SW94 Volunteer

    Welcome back music2799,

    I am so thrilled you are focusing on self care! You absolutely deserve time to focus your energy on yourself. Also, be patient with yourself. I have learned that there are various parts or versions of yourself that make us who we are. All are valid and have purpose and want the best for us. Don’t be so hard on these parts because they have the best intentions. It is completely natural to feel nervous when finding your place in a new internship. But you asking your manager for feedback is brave and shows you are working on improving yourself. Also, don’t try to assume what others are thinking about you. Maybe someone just bit their tongue and is trying to process the pain. Do not internalize and overthink because sometimes things have simple explanations.

    So proud of you! Honestly, I feel like it has taken me years to learn to listen and the importance of self care. Here you are completely smashing it. I really admire how smart and insightful you are. Thank you for giving everyone hope that healing is truly obtainable. I hope the relationship with your friends works out for the best. I can tell how happy his friendship makes you and I hope he feels the same. I agree taking things slow is the best approach. As far as this pandemic, I see no reason this should hold you back. You are strong, intelligent, and brave. I am excited to see what you accomplish next.

  20. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi music2799,
    I’m so happy that things going so well for you! it sounds like you are killing it at your internship and that is great. You are so smart and you should never doubt yourself that you can’t do something that you put your mind to. It also sounds like overall this whole quarantine has helped your mental health immensely and that is fantastic. You deserve to be happy, not have to worry about your assailant, and find someone you want to date. I think you said it best – to not rush into things with your friend that you like especially in quarantine, it’s better to get to know each other and figure out if he likes you. We are probably going to be in quarantine for a while so you have time to just talk and not have to worry about what movie and restaurant you want to eat in.
    Sometimes you don’t have to tell your parents everything about how you feel. I try to tell my parents everything, but sometimes I also feel like they invalidate me so I only tell them things that I think they understand. It’s hard with parents because they grew up in a different generation, which isn’t always an excuse for them, but that is a huge reason as to why they don’t always get how we feel. I think back then mental health wasn’t really too much of a thing that society cared about.
    Either way it sounds like you have a good grasp on what is going on in your life which is amazing. Thank you for updating us! We are always here for you.
    -Alyssa

  21. mikaylaanne11 Volunteer

    Hey again music2799!

    I’m so glad to hear that DBT has been helping. It sounds like you’re putting a lot of effort into utilizing the tools and skills that you’re learning, and it seems to be paying off. You deserve happiness and kindness and support, especially from that little voice inside your head.

    I think that the open line of communication you’ve instilled in your workplace and your friendships is incredible and super healthy. You really are doing much better than you give yourself credit for! I think that enforcing the boundaries you have in place with your parents is also going to continue to strengthen your interpersonal skills. Just because they’re your parents doesn’t give them the right to know everything about you; prioritizing your privacy is absolutely an exercise in self-care. I think that being away from your assailant has helped to enforce these healthy relationships. You are able to focus on growing instead of just protecting yourself.

    I empathize with feeling kind of foggy thinking about the future in this weird COVID world. I think that you are deserving of a future you’ve dreamed of for yourself, and you should continue to move forward with this awesome new confidence in yourself! I also think that you should shoot your shot with your friend; like you said, the worst that can happen is that he doesn’t reciprocate and you’re a little hurt. I think that you’ve crafted the skills to express your feelings to him and also be able to weather any feelings that come after.

    I’m really excited to hear about your growth and healing, and I hope you continue to come back and update us 🙂

  22. Breanna Volunteer

    Hey music279,

    Thanks for coming back with an update. I’m glad to hear that you’ve been feeling better and setting a self-care schedule sounds like a great idea! I’ve learned about some of the skills taught in DBT and I’m so glad they’re helpful for you. I totally hear you with your concerns about your internship. At my job, we’re in a similar situation and just hired some people and they’ve expressed concerns about “not contributing enough” while just getting started AND working remote. I think it’s very common to have these concerns, given the pandemic-climate. But you did such a great thing by challenging those negative thought patterns and also reaching out to your supervisor for feedback. I can imagine that talking to your supervisor took a lot of courage. Kudos to you! It takes a lot of practice to break those negative thought cycles and you’re doing great. And thank you for sharing this, because I think a lot of people who read this can try to learn how to be a better listener and apply those challenges to negative beliefs in their own life! (I know it was a great reminder for me!). And it’s so great to hear that you’re in love! He sounds sweet, and I like your mindset in thinking about it. I hope it works out for you 🙂 I’m also glad (SO many things to be glad about in this post) that things with your family are going better and not seeing your assailant has been incredibly helpful! I take a similar approach with one of my family members and I think that boundary has been very helpful – telling enough that I am comfortable with, which also limits the amount of feedback I get back. The uncertainty about the future is scary, but you’re taking great steps in taking care of yourself. Keep it up! We are all rooting for you 🙂

    Sending you love and support,
    Bre

  23. kelly Day Captain

    Hey, music2799. I’m so glad to hear that you’re feeling better. Sounds like you are getting a lot out of DBT! I feel like I should look into now! I struggle with giving myself credit too. I think it’s awesome that you are able to challenge your inner critic like that.

    That’s so exciting that you’re in love! It sounds like you are ready to tell him if you are comfortable with either outcome and just want to express your feelings. Wishing you all the luck! I personally can’t see how he would turn down such a strong smart person, and if he does it’s his loss 🙂

    I think it’s great you’re able to set up those boundaries with your parents. I know it’s not easy. I wish they could be there for you in the ways you deserve, but it sounds like you are being a great parent to yourself.

    Yes the pandemic is bringing a lot of uncertainty to the world, but it seems that all the work you have been doing has prepared you for anything. I know you can get through it. We all just have to take it a day at a time. Thanks for the update and hope you continue to stay well!

  24. Neesha Volunteer

    Thank you for sharing, and I am so glad to hear you are feeling better. Discerning between facts and opinions is a wonderful way to remain grounded and not get carried away with the inner critic. It was brave to ask for you manager’s feedback and accept the positive and the room for improvement areas. I relate to wanting to give advice and not compassionately listening to the other person and their needs. It takes practice to become a better listener. My heart is full hearing on how you are taking care of yourself and healing. You are on a good path, keep it up!

  25. Starling Volunteer

    Hi music2799,
    Thank you for continuing to share your story with us. I’m so glad to hear that you’ve been doing well! Self-care is super important, and I’m glad it is helpful to you. I’m glad that you are feeling better about your internship and that things are going okay with your family. I wish you luck with your friend as well. If you ever need anything, let us know. We’re always here for you.

  26. ryannlashea Volunteer

    Hi, I am so happy to hear that you are feeling better and that you are being more kind with yourself. Self-care is so important! It is so inspiring to see your growth. Thank you for continuing to allow us to be a part of your journey. I hope things continue to get better for you.

  27. loveishere2020 Volunteer

    Hello music2799 – I’m so happy. My heart is full knowing that you are healing and putting yourself first. I also went through what you are going through and self-care is so important. It’s like that analogy of the oxygen mask on the airplane. You have to put your oxygen mask on first before you put the mask on anyone else. You have to fill yourself up so that what spills over can go to others. I’m so proud of you. Please keep us updated.

    Stay safe,
    Hollie

  28. rachelb098 Volunteer

    Hi music2799 ,

    Thank you for sharing! It’s wonderful that you’re feeling better and that utilizing DBT techniques has been working for you. It sounds like you’re making great strides in both the career and social aspects of your life and it’s inspiring how much work you’re putting into getting help for yourself. Keep up the amazing work!

    -Rachel

  29. Rustin Day Captain

    Hi Music2799,

    It sounds like even though you seem extremely busy with life, it is going really well! I’m so proud of you for taking the time to give yourself some self care. Everyone deserves self care. Don’t fret about the internship and whether you are good enough. I’m not sure how long your internship is, but it took me a few months to feel comfortable with being myself and knowing that I was good enough to be there. Your supervisor will let you know if there is any concerns. Just do what you can and speak up when you feel you need to. Everything takes some time to adapt to and your internship is just another place to adapt to. Keep up the great work and I wish you the best!

  30. meg Volunteer

    Hey Music2799,

    Thank you for coming back to update us! Wow wow wow. I am SO proud of the work you are putting in. Being kinder and forgiving of yourself is major process. It’s something that’s so important. You’re the best person in your life! Gotta treat yourself well. How are you spending your time by yourself? Are you being kind in those situations too? Keep us updated. I’d love to know if journaling or meditating or even dancing all around to music makes you feel the most you.

    Be well!
    -Meg

  31. sfmbelle413 Day Captain

    Hey there music2799,

    I’m glad to hear you’ve been trying to be kinder to yourself – we all need to remember to do that. We are always trying our best, whatever that may look like. Internships and jobs can be really hard – and it’s important to incorporate feeling kinder to yourself into that, just like you did. You’re not alone in feeling like you may not be doing enough – I’m a professional in my field for a few years now, and I think that still sometimes. I appreciate you providing the updates, it gives me hope as we all move through this crazy thing called life.

    Also – the uncertainty in life right now is astonishing and has a great weight on many people. The world has been so unpredictable and that is not comforting in the least. You’re doing the best you can to keep yourself safe and happy – and that is truly inspirational.

    Keep on fighting,
    SFM

  32. dzreid Volunteer

    Hi Music!
    I am so glad that you returned to share an update. Thanks! I can see so much potential through all you shared! I am so glad to know how you are able to see the things differently. Your post this time is packed full of positive things happening. To me, this shows how incredibly strong of a person you are, & how far you have come. I agree, you can’t control your parents reactions, but you can control how you react. This is so powerful & I’m so happy that you are taking control back! Things with your friend, seem to be a strength as well. I don’t think by taking things slow is wrong, you are doing what you need to for you. As far as what the future may hold, just take today & be in that moment. Take it day by day & go from there! Keep working on improving & healing you because you are worth it!
    Dawn

  33. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    Thank you for coming back to share with us. I am so happy to hear that you are doing much better, and that your DBT has been helpful, too! I hope your internship is still going well, and I definitely understand the uncertainty fog (I have that, too). You can come back here to share anytime.

    Erin

  34. Lex Volunteer

    Hi music2799,

    Thank you for coming back to share with us again! I am so happy to hear that you are doing well, this post is filled with so many positive updates. You are taking control of your life and it is showing! You are taking the right approach towards the feelings you have for your friend, slow and steady is always a great approach. I hope everything works out between you two!

    Please come back anytime you would like to share with us again! We are here for you, always!
    – Lex

  35. JWorks Volunteer

    Music2799,

    I’m so glad to hear you’re doing well! All of these positive updates have been amazing to see. Your best friend sounds awesome and I hope you guys continue supporting each other. We always love to hear about positive and progressive stories like yours and we love talking to you about it. Keep up the good work!

    -Jay

  36. Natalie M Day Captain

    Hi there music2799,

    It is great to hear that you have such positive updates. It is truly obvious that you are doing everything you can to slow down and focus on your journey to heal. That is such an inspiration! Thank you for sharing and trusting us with your updates. I am always glad to hear from you!

    You have provided such an interesting and positive outlook on things. I am also glad to here that you have a best friend who understands you – I hope everything works out the best for you!

    Please come back anytime you would like to share an update!

    Stay strong,
    -Natalie

  37. aegardiner Volunteer

    Hi Music2799,

    It is good to hear so many positive updates from you! I’m so happy that you have taken the time to focus on yourself and recognize what you have control of in your life so that you can be happy. More than anything, I’m happy to hear that you haven’t had to see your assailant for 4 months now. That’s got to be such a relief and impacted your life for the better in such an immense way. It sounds like you have been able to start healing and focusing on what you want whether it is being a good employee, a good friend, or a new relationship. The uncertainty of the pandemic looks like it will continue for a while, I’m afraid, but I hope all that all the good you have going on in your life you make the future bright nonetheless. Regarding your internship and wanting to make sure you’re being the best you can possibly be, I recently read Dare to Lead by Brené Brown and she focuses on the idea of ‘do the facts support the way we think.’ It could be something beneficial to read if you have some downtime. Thanks again for such an inspiring update!

  38. adrian Volunteer

    Hi, Music2799-

    It was strong of you to reach out and post about your recent feelings- positive moves forward and what sounds like some small setbacks. Either way, you are showing great improvement with your coping resources! It is hard to intentionally work on ourselves and that is some brave work you are doing with your friendships (listening more) and yourself (being kinder). I understand where you are coming from with uncertainty, though. Just focus on what you are able to control (your reactions) and what will just have to be as the world determines it to be.

    You are a resilient creature, ready to keep fighting the good fight. Feel free to post again as you feel comfortable! It’s positive to see such great improvement and inspiring for all to read your updates.

    Take care,
    Adrian

  39. Marissa Day Captain

    Hey music2799,

    Thanks for the update! It sounds like you’re doing so much better and that makes me so happy for you. I’m honestly going to take your advice on asking myself, “is there objective evidence that supports my interpretation of events?” I often stress myself out thinking I’m not good enough and that question seems like it would be really important to remember! I was going to suggest asking your supervisor for feedback, but you’re already a step ahead of me there! You’re taking control of your life and that makes me so happy and proud of you. Everything you’ve said is super inspirational and I’m definitely going to try to implement some of your methods into my own life. So thank you for the help!

    I totally understand the internal struggle about the feelings you have for your friend. I think you’re definitely taking the right approach to everything, though! I hope it works out for you!!

    Let us know if we can help you in any way 🙂 You know we’re here for you!
    Marissa

  40. zelda Volunteer

    I’m happy to hear from you again, music!

    You sound like you are doing incredibly well, and I can’t tell you how proud I am of you. It can be so difficult to make life changes, no matter how big or small. Prioritizing self-care, putting your needs first, and setting up healthy boundaries are huge feats you should acknowledge.

    You’re doing awesome! Applying DBT skills, setting boundaries with your family, taking things slowly with your crush, being there for your friends, and reframing your thoughts are all fantastic steps toward recovery. If I could give you just one suggestion, I would make an appointment with your therapist or counselor to make a plan with them on what to do if/when you see your attacker again. I don’t want you to feel paralyzed or frozen with fear. If you and a professional could work out a strategy, your anxiety around seeing him could lesson dramatically.

    Anyway, thank you for keeping us updated. Come back again anytime. We love hearing from you!! 🌞

  41. Solongago Volunteer

    Hi music2799,

    Your post is so positive, that’s awesome! I am so glad that you haven’t had to see your assailant and that has made a big difference. Also using the DBT skills, and applying them to work. That’s wow. That is really moving forward. I feel more hopeful when I hear how you are feeling better. Thank you.