Thanks to all for the support through this journey.
I saw Angela today. I did ask her why we are starting with the roughest memory. She says that we do that because a lot of it will translate to other memories. It is like if you go to the doctor and have several things wrong with you, they start with the one that is most severe, and by getting that under control, some of the others will fall under that one. Or something like that.
I am just trusting that she knows what she is doing. Since the last therapist was a bit questionable, that is a bit of a risk.
But I am doing it.
I talked about Mom a bit too, that when I defend her, it doesn’t mean I do not see things. It just means that I love her. She was good with that.
So I got the buzzers, and went back into the pond. Because I blacked out that day, there is stuff I just don’t remember. That’s ok. Angela assured me I can’t block it. I don’t know if I remembered much more. My one side is crunched up and stiff and I can’t move my arms. It is hard to breathe and then I can’t move at all. Everything is black.
Angela says she doesn’t understand why I did not die. She suggested the pain in the one arm is how I was dragged out, and maybe lying crumpled on it.
We talked about my premise that I should have known better. And I talked about some of the stuff this brother had done prior. But really, I did not have any way of knowing that he would to that.
Well anyway, this is supposed to purge the memory from my body. I am not getting it yet. I am hoping this will be good. I do have trouble telling her what is going on when she asks. But she doesn’t seem to concerned about that.