Having a rough time right now. I went to group on Thursday, and saw Karen on Saturday, but it is Christmas, and for some reason this year is tougher than usual. Last year Christmas drove me back into therapy. This year Christmas seems just as bad. If not worse. I don’t want to see my older brothers at all. And I done all the stuff: breathing, mindfulness, acting opposite, radical acceptance, hot shower, the whole nine yards, and my mom had to give me an Ativan to get through yesterday, and another today.
Karen said I can limit the time I stay where my brothers are (at my parents). But not really. There is no place to go. Home is cold. I am conserving heat so that my fuel does not run out before the man comes with the propane. And I slept all day today. I can’t afford to do that the day after Christmas because I am working Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. One more weekend and the holidays will be over. Then I can settle down for a while.