I have to pull myself together, let me tell you what happened, I severed my friendship with my best friends wife and that may affect our friendship as well don’t know I guess I have to know was I right in taking the action I took.
It started this past weekend I was enjoying lunch with them when she asked me straight up We’ve known each other for uh 15 years and I never knew you were raped, further she said that she feels sorry for my mother because how do you think she feels knowing her son was raped, the fact you didn’t fight, or report it means even worse for your mother cause you allowed this, ending by saying how could I commit this grave sin and live with myself.
My friends eyes were wide, he couldn’t believe what he heard the when instantly I shot up running to the bathroom I became physically sick, when I came out I saw my friend standing close by and he put his arm around me and told me she’s no longer there, and everything will be alright.
Since that fateful Friday I’ve had nightmares like never before, bouts of crying throughout the day at any point and time, nights are filled with me crying and rocking back and forth, migraines that cause me to vomit, questions like what kind of person am I to do this to my mother?, am I being punished for what indie or didn’t do?, did I ask for the rape in someway I’m not aware of?, is this why I can’t many people to love me?, is my mother better off if I was dead?, did I commit a grave sin that I will never be forgiven for?, more importantly was I right in severing my friendship with this woman who I consider toxic, vile, wicked and evil in every sense for opening up a wound so deep and causing pain that I haven’t had in so long, or am I being overly sensitive as my mother says?, sorry for bringing people down, and crying even as I wite and red this, but I have got to know. PS I know there are mistakes in this, please forgive and understand my pain