Distraught but relieved?

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Hey everyone.

So I got some news involving my ex (you know all about him by now I’m sure) that he’s engaged to his latest girlfriend. I find it rather weird they got engaged on the day he and I first started talking in 2018 (bizarre much?) In a way, I’m not surprised that he did after learning about narcisstic abuse that move rather quickly onto new supply, get engaged and married, etc. But it still hurts knowing that he’s probably been treating her way better than he ever did with me (he allows her to wear makeup, clothes he never wanted me to wear, etc) but who knows…

I don’t know if I should be distraught like I have been since the breakup, or relieved that I’m free from him altogether.


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66 comments

  1. amilne9 Volunteer

    Dear Jamie Marie,

    I know I am late to respond to this story, but I wanted to thank you for sharing. It is strange that they got engaged on that day, and it leaves me wondering if this is purposeful or not, as many narcissistic and abusive people will do things like this to try and subtly mess with their victims. It is also weird that he is treating her differently, but it makes me think that he is probably hiding his true colors or manipulating her in some other way that you can’t see yet. It is normal to feel unsure of your emotions after a breakup, especially one like this. I hope that with time, your feelings will settle down and you will be able to see the reality of the situation clearly, and I hope you will be happy. You are so loved, and I am so sorry that you had to go through such a traumatic relationship. You deserve much better, and I am praying that you find someone who will treat you like royalty one day.

    Much Love,
    Ari <3

  2. coachdiggs Volunteer

    Hello Jamie Marie,
    First I wanted to say thank you for sharing your update with us. I wanted to say thank you for being brave for telling us the story. You are very strong and i know it sucks seeing somebody with your ex. Honestly you should not let that bothering you because you deserved to be treated right. You should also be with somebody who you treat you correct. I also wanted to say you should keep focusing on you. Do not let them bring you down. Lastly, I wanted to say thank you again for sharing your updated with us again.
    Kevin

  3. Pamela Z Volunteer

    Hello Jamie Marie
    Thank you for sharing, it is understandable to feel that, and you have every right to feel like that. You are so strong, it must be weird to see your ex with someone else, but know that you deserve to be respected, loved, and cared for. We are here for you.

  4. jenniferb Volunteer

    Hello Jamie Marie,
    I think that whatever emotions you are feeling are valid, whether you are feeling distraught or relieved. It is normal to feel a mix of emotions, especially considering that you got news about your ex. I agree with what others have said in the replies, you do deserve to be treated with respect and you deserve so much better. Thank you for sharing with us. We are always here to show support, stay safe.

  5. Angela Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    Thank you for coming back! It is very understandable to feel this way about the whole situation but remember that you deserve a lot better. A partner should not be controlling, so I agree with you that you should feel relived that you are free from him. Please stay positive and strong, we are here for you!

  6. CSUN Student1 Volunteer

    Hello Jamie Marie,
    It is totally normal to feel distraught and having mixed emotions about this situation. It is also normal to feel hurt about how he is treating the other person, but don’t forget your not in that relationship to know what is actually happening. You should just as you said feel relieved because you are no longer with someone that was treating you bad and you should be happy that you are no longer dealing with that person abuse. Stay positive and strong because you deserve to be treated with respect and love and no one should be able to take away your happiness for any reason, your happiness should always come first because that’s how you have a positive life. We are always here for you whenever you need us and you have our full support.
    Thank You

  7. Araceli1090 Volunteer

    Hello Jamie Marie,

    Having mixed feelings about the situations is completely normal. it is fine to feel sad over the the possibility that he might be treating someone better. But you should never forget that you are enough. I believe that you are worth so much more than how he was treating you. you are a wonderful person who deserves the feelings to be reciprocated. I hope that time helps you heal. I am glad that part of you is feeing relieved. I am glad that you feel free. hope this positive feeling continues to grow and helps you enjoy your life.

  8. iap66325 Volunteer

    Hello Jamie Marie,

    It is completely understandable if you feel distraught and even relieved and happy since he is gone from your life. It most likely is just the fact that he is treating someone else different than the way he initially treated you. It is absolutely his loss because you are a magnificent person that always deserves the best and he could not give that to you. It is always for the best even though the timing is kinda weird that he got engaged but as long as you are living your own life to the fullest and as you please I believe thats all you need to worry and what matters since how much freedom you have and could go and do in anything your heart desires. I hope that you continue to remain in a positive and uplifting mindset. Do not allow him to bring you down because of what he is doing. Just focus on yourself that is what is most important here. Can’t wait to here from you soon on any new updates!

  9. Stark21 Volunteer

    Hello Jaime Marie,
    Honestly I think it’s perfectly normal to feel a bit of both relief and distraught. At one point he was your partner who you did love, so it’s reasonable to understand the distraught feeling. Also relief because you deserve happiness and peace in your life. We are here for you if you have any more stories to share.
    -R

  10. Karenv12 Volunteer

    Hello Jaime Marie,

    I know that finding news like this out is not easy, and you have every right to feel what you feel, your emotions are valid no matter what they are. I know it’s difficult to see someone who was once a big part of your life move on, but you went through so much and deserve so much more, you are allowed to feel sad about the break up, break ups are never a happy thing but putting yourself first and your physical and mental state of mind are much more important. We are here for you, please keep us updated.

    Sending lots of Love,
    Karen

  11. eagle206 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for coming back with an update! That is very bizarre timing for the engagement. It’s a hard moment to see someone you cared about move on, but since he doesn’t sound like a respectful partner, I hope you can find some relief in the fact that you can move on to bigger and better things. Obviously only you can know if you are feeling distraught or relieved, but I just hope you begin to feel free as time moves on. You deserve to be loved and supported!

    Stay strong,
    T

  12. haesol Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for the update!
    Having those conflicting feelings in situations like that is normal and you shouldn’t feel bad or question yourself for having them. You definitely deserve to be with someone who treats you better than how he treated you, you are worth so much more.
    Remember your feelings are valid and it’s okay to express them. We’re here to support you, let us know if there’s anything else we can do to help.

    Stay safe!

  13. chompyapple1 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. It’s normal to be experiencing these feelings and I understand how it can make you feel seeing someone you cared for treating someone else better than you. You deserve much better than that. Always remember that we are here for you if you wish to share more in the future. Take care.

  14. lilyk Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    It’s good to hear from you again. I can understand how this is a weird balance of emotions, but I’m so happy for you that you are no longer in an abusive relationship with him. Sending you strength and hope.

  15. VolunteerNem Volunteer

    Hello Jamie,
    It’s okay to have these feelings. I think it is important that he is no longer causing harm, so that is better. Also just remember you don’t have to deal with him and the harm he cause you because your free from him. Take care and Stay Safe.

  16. KatherineL Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    It’s definitely a complex situation so I can understand how you’re having conflicting feelings. It’s okay to feel both distraught and relieved. You’ll unfortunately probably never know the intricacies of their relationship, but hopefully you can find some comfort in the idea that he may not be harming someone like he harmed you, and that you’re free from him and better off.

    KatherineL

  17. leoreslavick Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I think it’s perfectly normal to think about your ex with someone else and contemplate their relationship and how he might be treating her. Imagining him with someone else and wondering if he’s treating her the same or differently is what I think anyone would do in this situation. But, I am so happy that you are out of that relationship and are now closer to finding someone who treats you with the utmost love and respect that you deserve than you ever were with him.

  18. sarahsays Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for sharing an update with us. I can understand how uncomfortable the situation with your ex could feel. You have every right to feel conflicted. The way he treated you is no reflection on your worth. I think with situations like these we can sometimes go through different waves of emotions. They take time to process. I am sending you strength and I hope things keep looking up for you.

  19. Jiggy Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,
    It is understandable that you have conflicting feelings as this guy was once a part of your life, even if he was abusive. It is hard to hear news of an ex moving on and finding someone new. While you mentioned this guy allows his new girlfriend to do things you never could, no one could know if he was not abusing her in other ways. Even though on the outside it appears he is treating her better, it does not downplay what he has done to you.
    Hope for the best!

  20. alexiswilliams

    Jamie Marie,

    I understand how this can be conflicting. It doesn’t seem to add up. I am confident that your person is out there, and will not insist on controlling aspect of your life that are your right. Try and focus on yourself, and the future rather than the past.

    Love,
    Lex

  21. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    It makes sense that this is painful, and it also makes sense that you’re relieved. It can be difficult when an ex moves on with someone else. Even though it might seem like he’s treating her better based on outward appearances, we have no idea what their relationship is like, and it doesn’t change how he treated you. I’m glad you’re free from him and his abuse, and that is something to celebrate. Focusing on the life you have now and processing how you feel (grieving, essentially) at your own pace may help you take steps towards healing and fulfillment.
    Thank you for sharing this update with us. We’re here whenever you need us, so please write back whenever you would like to share. We’re glad to hear about how you’re doing, and we want the best for you. I hope you’re having a wonderful week!

  22. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear Jamie Marie,
    Thank you for coming back to give us an update. It is understandable that you aren’t sure what to feel. You have a history with him and you cared very deeply. It hurts when someone we once cared about moves on to someone else even if we never want to have anything to do them again. We still have to grieve the possibilities that were lost and shift our focus to a new life. Grieving takes times. You can feel both distraught and relieved; just be sure to take the time to feel your feelings. They will tell you their message and then you will know what to do and how to heal.
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  23. Chris Volunteer

    Hello JaimeMarie,

    Thank you for the update. I am sorry to hear that you are feeling distraught over the situation with your ex and his new girlfriend. As someone who as followed your story for some time, I truly believe that as bad as it might seem, I know that you are far better off being cut and free from him altogether. How he treats his new girlfriend or fiance does not change how he treated you in your relationship with him or make what he did any less horrible. Cutting ties from him completely and not following what he is up to would bring much more healing than watching. Hopefully everything clears up and continues to go well on your path towards healing. I look forward to hearing from you again soon, and we are all hear if you need anything. Best Wishes.

    Chris

  24. oscarl2 Volunteer

    Hello JaimeMarie
    Thank you for giving us an update. I know that you might feel distraught about the whole situation but what is important to know is that you are out of that abusive relationship. Whether he is treating his fiancé better or worse, you are out of the abusive relationship you were in with him. You deserve to be in a better relationship. Hopefully everything continues to go good in your path to healing and feel free to update us whenever you feel comfortable.
    Wishing you the best,
    oscarl2

  25. dzreid Volunteer

    JamieMarie,
    I’m glad you have returned to share an update. I enjoy reading updates. I can see how this would cause conflicting feelings. I think it’s natural to be feeling both ways. I also think that if you feel freer with knowing he has moved on, then celebrate that. This is a good sign that maybe now you can finally be free to move on with your life. You deserve happiness but also to have a sense of freedom. Wishing you tons of happiness.
    Dawn

  26. Starling Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    Thank you for continuing to update us on what’s been going on. It must be difficult knowing your ex is engaged now. It’s completely understandable to feel conflicting emotions about this. Your feelings are totally valid. I feel like you should focus on the feeling of relief. He is out of your life and you are free of his influence. If you ever need anything, let us know. We’re always here for you.

  27. Lusine05 Volunteer

    hello Jamie Marie
    Thank you for the update. It is totally okay to feel two different emotions at the same time, even though I can imagine how confusing and hard it is. It takes time to figure out those feelings, and you should take as much time as you need.
    Stay safe and strong
    L

  28. CarmenR Volunteer

    Hi there Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for coming back and updating us. What you are feeling is valid and normal. It’s possible to feel confusion and relief all at once. Let yourself feel what you need to. Maybe you can try journaling or writing down a few things that are currently making you happy, big things or small. Remind yourself of the positive things in your life when times like this are hard. We are here for. Stay strong.

    Carmen

  29. betterdays1 Volunteer

    hi Jamie Marie,
    It must be really hard seeing someone you pictured a future be with someone else, however it should be a relief for you because you don’t have to deal with that anymore. It is also important to mention that people sometimes go through things that make them change or realise they were doing something wrong. He was not your person, your person is out there in the world and he’ll come whenever it is the right moment for you. But for now focus on yourself and be the best version of yourself.
    -v

  30. rachelb098 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for sharing with us. It sounds like a lot has happened and it’s understandable to be confused about how to feel, so know that we’re always here for you to talk it out. At the end of the day you deserve to feel like your best self and to focus on your own well-being, so I hope you that you’re able to practice self care, especially during this confusing and painful time. Sending good vibes your way!

    -Rachel

  31. Tokyo_Kaneki Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    That is such a weird coincidence that he got engaged on that same day you guys had first started talking.. definitely something else. I know it must hurt seeing the person we used to be with treat their new partners better then they did to us but thankfully they cannot hurt us like they used to anymore. Its okay l to feel like that, especially after finding out about a huge decision they did, it is completely normal. Please continue to take care of yourself and know that here at AVFTI we are always here with open ears and open arms. Sending you lots of love and support.
    – J

  32. casitasbonitas Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    It sounds like a good thing! to not have to worry anymore about the man he was with you. Try to close that chapter since you are free now.
    We are here for you if you need anyone to talk to, take care of yourself.

  33. heretohelp101 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I think its good to always be positive in times like this,
    maybe him getting engaged was something you needed to help you realize that he is no longer a baggage or strain onto your life anymore,
    and that you are capable and deserving of a life full of peace and happiness.
    Best wishes,
    Jan

  34. KevionS. Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for sharing your update with us. It is completely normal to feel upset about the breakup and also relieved that you are free. I understand, that it hurts seeing someone who you were in a relationship with for awhile treating someone else better than what you were treated but just think about the accomplishment of you healing yourself from that toxic relationship. You are doing wonderful and we are here for you.

    Best,
    KevionS.

  35. Amysue43 Volunteer

    Thank you for sharing with us. I’m sorry about the news. Definitely weird to see people who have treated us poorly get engaged and moving on. Perhaps, like you said, this is monumental for the both of you. This may be a sign to focus more so on yourself and put your energy towards your new life. We’ve been here for you along the way and have definitely seen you growing. So, with this rather abrupt news, this may really break the chains you’ve been feeling since the breakup. Regardless of what you decide, we are here for you and want to support you in any way that we can.
    Stay strong <3

  36. pfuentes Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    It is completely normal to be experiencing these feelings given your history. I understand how it can make you feel seeing someone you cared about treating someone else better than you were treated, but Just remember the things that you were able to avoid by ending the relationship. You deserve so much better than that. Always remember that. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, we are here for you if you want to share anything else.

    pfuentes

  37. lmc83823 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    The way you’re feeling is totally normal and valid. It makes sense that you would feel the way you do after what he put you through. Remember though, you are deserving of so much more and you matter more. As confusing as this is, we are always here to help and listen. Feel free to come back and share anything that may be weighing on your mind.
    Sending you love and strength,
    Luna.

  38. aegardiner Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I hope you have been well! It’s understandable that you would have the feelings you’ve been experiencing. Regardless of everything that happened with your ex, to hear that he’s still out there living his life and assuming that he’s doing so happy and care free can be distressing. Try not to dwell on what his actions may be now or how his current relationship is going. What matters most is how you are doing and the good things that have been happening in your life since he’s no longer a part of it. We are here for you whenever you need us. Stay strong!

  39. t3nnis_player18 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,
    I can’t imagine how confusing and painful this is for you, but going though these emotions can help you move on. I’m sorry you are having to navigate these very difficult emotions but you are not alone. We are always here to support you and you deserve the best this world has to offer and he is definitely not that. Stay strong and keep your head up!

  40. sarahj Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    Sometimes it is normal to feel this way.. seeing someone care for someone else far better than they may have ever cared for us. BUT, keep in mind.. you only know what they are showing you. Who knows what is really going on? Only they do. I know it’s painful, but you will find happiness and love. You deserve far better than what he offered you. Continue working on yourself and feel free to keep us updated along the way. We are always here for support! You got this!
    -sarahj

  41. Mary Ella Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for continuing on sharing updates with us. I am sorry to hear that you are hurting from this news. It is completely normal to feel what you’re feeling especially when you remember how he has treated you in the past, and the history you shared together. It is completely okay for you to have those feelings of being distraught and also being relieved because you are now completely free. Feel free to come back to us for updates, and continue on taking care of yourself – you deserve it!

    Mary

  42. SarahLove Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Maria.
    It can be challenging seeing someone you use to care about with another person.
    You’ve gone through so much and deserve to feel free.

    Thanks for continuing to keep us updated.
    Stay Strong,
    SarahLove

  43. 123Ahmet Volunteer

    Hello Jamie Marie,

    I understand your frustration with all that has been going on, I think that in order to move on you may have to not give in to what he is doing with his life. Your life is the most important and your mental state is also, you are a strong individual and not paying his circumstance any attention, I believe can make you happier. I know it is hard having mixed emotions but it is very important to prioritize yourself and give yourself a little bit of time to heal yourself. We are always here for you and if you need any help please feel free to talk to us and if you need further help you can click the “Find Help” tab on this site where you can see various types of recourses.

    -Ahmet

  44. CSUN Volunteer A.M Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie ,
    Thank you for updating us , I think it’s normal to have mixed emotions and feel upset and at the same time relived because he hurt you in the past, just give yourself some time try to keep yourself busy with the things you enjoy the most and think less about him.Im proud of you because you manage to get out of it.Keep you head high and be strong.Always remember we are here if you need anything.
    A.M

  45. Marissa Day Captain

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for the update! I think you are allowed to feel upset about the breakup but also relieved that you’re free. Breakups are hard, especially when it’s someone you spent a lot of time with or had a deep connection with. I imagine the relationship was a kind of security blanket, even though he didn’t treat you very well. It was something you knew and could take comfort in. That doesn’t mean you can’t be relieved that you are free, though.

    I don’t know, that might have been confusing, but I do know that you are entitled to your feelings about this. Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help you navigate the situation! We are here to help you however we can.
    Marissa

  46. lizzi

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I’m so sorry. It hurts so badly to see someone move on, no matter the circumstances. I’ll still look back on past relationships and see that the person is dating someone or married and it hurts, even after many years of not talking. If he’s treating her better than you, I can imagine that hurts as well because you didn’t deserve to be treated how you were. But at the same time, nobody deserves to suffer. However you feel is totally valid, and maybe you just need some time to think about it and decide how you feel.

  47. pinksky92 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for the update. It can feel very mixed when an ex-partner is in a new relationship, especially if they were/are abusive. You say that he treats her better, but at the end of the day you don’t actually know what is going on. I hope that for her own health and well-being that he has learned a valuable lesson with how people, especially women, should be treated. But, you also do not know what is going on behind closed doors.

    I think regardless of how you were treated by him, there will always be an adjustment period. It’s understandable if you’re feeling distraught, and it’s also understandable that you are feeling some relief as well. There is no right or wrong emotion, but just know that it gets better over time.

    I wish you all the best on this journey. Take care!

  48. brookeallnutt Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for updating us! It’s totally understandable to feel conflicted. I agree with you that this is a weird situation. You deserve better, and I hope this is a helpful step in your healing process. Please feel free to share more anytime!

  49. ryannlashea Day Captain

    Hi, thank you for continuing to trust us with your story. I definitely understand feeling conflicted. Your feelings are valid. I am definitely glad you are safe from that relationship now.

  50. jcas120 Volunteer

    Hello Jamie,

    I completely understand where you are coming from. It sounds like you have a lot of empathy and you are worried that this person might go through what you’ve been through with your ex, but also released that you aren’t in that relationship anymore. I feel the same way, happy to know that you are not in an unsafe relationship anymore but worried about the other.

    I hope you have a safe and happy week! Please come back and update us anytime we are here for you!

  51. Ana Espiritu Volunteer

    Hello Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for keep updating us. I can definitely agree that having conflicting mixed emotions is reasonable. If I was in this situation I would be distraught too, but worried for the girl as well. No one should be in the position you were in. However, I’m proud of you because you have grown and healed to handle a situation like this. Know that what matters now, that you’ve grown to become independent, and that you’ve gone a long way. Keep doing you, you deserve to be happy and to move forward of being free. Always know that you matter.

    Sending Support and Love,
    Ana

  52. Caitlin Volunteer

    Jamie Marie,

    I am sure this news has brought up a lot of feelings. It makes sense. It’s ok to feel them as they come, work through them so you can focus on you and what you need. It can be hard to not stay connected to someone who has had such an impact on our lives, but sometimes moving on is the release we need.

    I hope you are able to find some peace with this and look toward all you deserve in life.

    -Caitlin

  53. jyoung Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for coming back and updating us. It’s great to hear from your again. I understand how the resurfacing of information about your ex can bring up a range of emotions, and I believe they are completely valid. It is indeed a weird situation; however, I would have to agree that you dodged a bullet. I’m so glad that you were able to get out of the relationship when you did. I hope that you’re able to find comfort within the news, as you deserve it.

    Sending love and support,
    Jasmine

  54. musicislove

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Your conflicted feelings are understandable. Watching someone that treated you so horribly treat someone else well is hard and that’s okay. Your conflicting feelings are valid and understandable, it’s ok to be so sad but also feel relief. He put you through so much hell and although it’s great to feel completely free, it’s ok to be as sad as you are. Healing is a process and this is just part of it. You deserve so much happiness, sending you strength and hope!

    Delaney

  55. Thomas Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for updating us. It’s okay to feel conflicted. I think most people would feel both distraught and relieved. You have always deserved to be treated with respect and kindness. Watching someone who hurt you behave differently with someone else can be difficult to deal with. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Feeling conflicted over something like this is normal. You have come a long way and are continuing to get better. Feeling this way is part of the process of healing. You’re doing a great job!

  56. AlisonDKaufman

    Hello:

    It is positive to acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself time to process. I hope you are able to get yourself into a place where you feel your freedom from your ex is a gift. When we remove someone from our world, regardless of a healthy or unhealthy relationship it is hard and very natural to almost grieve the absence of the relationship. Remember you deserve to be happy and treated well!

    Ali

  57. ajklessig Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    Thank you for updating us. You are allowed to feel confused by this and unsure of the outcome. I would feel the same way. But I think it is important to remember who you are now, and that you have come a long way. It is so easy to judge ourselves based on the standards we see of others. However, try to remember that their relationship, although it may be different, does not define who you are. You deserve to be happy and treated well.

  58. zelda Day Captain

    Hi, Jamie Marie! Glad to hear from you again. 🙂

    I’d probably feel a mix of both emotions, if I were in your shoes. Don’t get me wrong; I’d definitely be more relieved to feel completely free from his grasp, but it’s scary to think that someone else is with him now.

    I feel sorry for his fiancé, but I’m just thankful that you are not his fiancé. You dodged a bullet. You deserve someone who treats you like the queen you are, and you know that. I hope the woman he is with can leave before it’s too late. Maybe he has truly changed, but abusive/narcissistic people hardly change. But that’s not your problem to solve anymore. Good riddance to him! You move forward with your life, and never look back. 💪

  59. colton95 Volunteer

    I think it’s normal to feel both distraught and relieved. This is a very odd situation but I think it’s awesome that you’re sharing this on here and it seems like you’re trying to move on. I hope that you will be safe and strong.

  60. Ashley Day Captain

    Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for keeping us in the loop.

    It is weird that they got engaged on the date that you and he began to talk in 2018. Since you read about narcissistic behavior, I hope it’s helpful to know that narcissistic people tend to be impulsive.
    Although he allows her to wear makeup and certain types of clothing, we don’t know the full picture of their relationship.
    I believe that it’s okay to simultaneously feel distraught and relieved.

    Ashley

  61. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    It’s good to hear from you again. I’m sorry that you are feeling confused about the news. You are allowed to feel how you want to feel. Sometimes it takes time to feel relieved to know that the abuse is over. It can be very surreal to know that the abuse is officially over. Hopefully you will start to feel better soon about the situation. Thank you for the update.
    -Alyssa

  62. laurenp34 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie! Thanks for the update. That is a weird coincidence but you’re right it does make sense how fast he picks up and moves on. You are totally valid in feeling hurt about the situation. I hope you know that the difference in the way he treated you and his fiancée has nothing to do with you. It only reflects onto him and all of his insecurities. It is also perfectly valid to feel unsure about your situation. I hope that you give yourself time and space to heal. There is no right way to heal, but the important thing is that you are safe.
    – Lauren

  63. karinakalke Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for updating us. I think it makes sense that there would be a lot of complicated emotions wrapped up in this news. Please know that all of your feelings are valid, even if they’re confusing. Your ex’s new behavior has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. We are all here for you.

    Sending love and support,
    Karina

  64. mikaylaanne11 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    That definitely is some news that can be distressing! Your feelings are valid and natural. You never know what’s happening behind the scenes, but it’s understandable to speculate about what their relationship is like. I think it’s important to focus on the healing progress that you’ve made and celebrate the steps you’ve taken. You are strong and powerful and deserve the best! Sending lots of good vibes your way.

  65. Neesha Volunteer

    Jamie Marie,
    Thank you for the update! His engagement date is weird, but it makes sense that he moved quickly to secure the next supply. I know it seems like he is treating her better, and it makes sense that you feel hurt. After all you deserved to be treated well and be cherished rather than controlled. I am relieved to that you are free of him.

    Thank you for sharing and I assume you know by now that we are always here for you!

  66. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    Hi Jamie,

    Thanks for coming back to share. I think it makes sense to feel a lot of complex emotions, and feeling what you are feeling right now. I totally understand that it hurts when someone who treated you terribly then treats their next partner well, because you think it’ has something to do with you. I promise you that it doesn’t-it has everything to do with that other person. Let us know how else we can be supportive.

    Erin