Daydreaming

156 42

My mind is withdrawing again.
Detaching from reality.
The voices fade in the background.
The pattern on the floor slightly warps and I sink in.

Are you listening?
Yes! I smile, and proceed to snap out of it.

I fabricate characters.
Places. Plots. Dialogues.
Details are important.
I can’t stop.

I’m sorry, can you repeat that again? I wasn’t paying attention.

My mind plays the scene over and over.
If only I had said _____.
That was so embarrassing.
That happened 5 years ago.
Stop.

I didn’t understand the question, can you say that again?

Randomly I begin to think of a  poem.
My mind wanders away.
I need a synonym for that word.
It doesn’t fit with that paragraph.

Hey! I’m talking to you!

I don’t want to remember.
My body can’t escape.
My mind will.

Sorry. I wasn’t listening. What did you say again?


Join the Conversation

42 comments

  1. MySunshineD Volunteer

    I love reading your words. They are always so touching. I hope that you are journaling them. Pretty soon you will have a book to be published. No, really! ~Terri

  2. dzreid Volunteer

    Hey Nomore,
    Thanks for sharing your art with us! Your words are so powerful. I am so glad that you have found this as a healing, helpful tool to express yourself! Keep writing & please continue sharing on here any time.
    Dawn

  3. Marissa Day Captain

    Hey NoMore,

    Thanks for sharing your art with us again. Your poems are so relatable! Feel free to continue sharing with us whenever you want. I’m so glad you have found a productive outlet for your thoughts and feelings. Keep us updated!

    Marissa

  4. aegardiner Volunteer

    Hi NoMore,

    Thank you again for sharing your poem with us and for expressing how you’ve been feeling. I hope that others who have been struggling have been able to read your words and have benefited from the fact that they are not alone in how they have been feeling. It can be so hard sometimes to pay attention to things that are going on around us when our mind takes us somewhere else. It can be uncomfortable when we find we’re surrounded by others who are laughing or talking about something and we realize we haven’t been paying attention because we have been so worried or preoccupied by something else that we don’t want to express to others. Your poem is relatable. Most of all, I hope that your poems continue to help you with your emotions and that you have been doing well.

  5. Mary Ella Volunteer

    Hi NoMore!

    Thank you for another beautiful poem. What I love about your poems is the fact that you give us such a vivid glimpse of what you’re currently feeling. Art is such an amazing way to communicate or navigate your feelings and your thoughts. I hope you have a wonderful week, and feel free to keep sharing your poems with us. You have such a wonderful gift and I hope writing this poem gave you some peace.

  6. eagle206 Volunteer

    Hi NoMore,

    You have a very beautiful way of writing. It’s so frustrating when you look back on a conversation and wish you could have said something different. One thing to try and remember is chances are the other person doesn’t even remember what you specifically said, and definitely doesn’t think things went wrong. It’s hard to have your mind constantly racing while someone is trying to talk with you. It’s definitely something to remember, as it happens to lots of other people as well. Sometimes I need things to slow down and I need to politely ask people for a moment to gather my thoughts.

    Stay strong,

    Tyler

  7. Solongago Volunteer

    Daydreaming is an artform. Some of us are masters at it. We can have good ones, which I consider day dreams. And we can have crappy ones where we relive moments that were hard or conversations or we work out possible scenarios of stuff that may happen if… I think this is a form of chronic worrying. I’ve never considered those day dreams. But from your poem, well I just always considered the stuff that we manufacture for how we would like things to be, to be day dreams. The intrusive thoughts and reliving of the bad can certainly reek havoc on anything we are trying to do, to learn, to participate in. And I think most of us indulge in this, at least I do. I let myself go there. I don’t really know why. Interesting poem.

  8. Ruby98 Volunteer

    Hi Nomore,
    I always look forward to seeing your incredible poems you share with us, Thank you! Zoning out and thinking of endless memories that ponder through ones mind can be scary sometimes. It’s happen to me quite a bit during school actually. I’m sure everyone knows the feeling but the way you put it into words is perfect! Your work is sincerely loved here, please continue to share! Hope you have a wonderful week and stay safe, take care!

  9. lizzi

    Thank you for sharing another incredible poem with us. I hope these are helpful and healing to you, as they definitely are to me! I hope that if writing helps you, that you’ll keep doing it because you’re really great at it.

  10. Lex Volunteer

    Hi NoMore,

    Thank you for coming back to share one of your poems again with us! You have a beautiful way with words! Please continue sharing them with us, we love to read them!

    Lex

  11. tbird830 Volunteer

    NoMore,

    Thank you so much for sharing another one of your beautiful pieces of art with us. I’m always amazed by how you’re able to put the words together so well. As I read it I could picture if in my mind. You are so talented and I’m so glad you have found a way to share what’s in your head so perfectly. I know that writing can be a great coping strategy/stress relief for some and it seems like it is for you as well! I really look forward to reading more of your pieces!

    -Tori

  12. rohina_kumar Volunteer

    Hi NoMore,

    Thank you so much for sharing another one of your beautiful creative pieces with us. It’s always such a delight to go through them. This really seems like such a healthy way for you to cope with and process your thoughts in a healthy manner. I can always feel the hurt and vulnerability in your poems and they never fail to amaze me. You’re so good at writing these. Surely some days are harder than others, and I’m sorry that you still seem to be going through difficult times, but I’m truly glad that you’re indulging in such a creative form of self-expression. Your work is always appreciated here and we’re here to support you through all the hardships of life. Feel free to come back on here with an update at any time. We’d love to hear from you soon! All the love and be kind to yourself.

    – Rohina

  13. pinksky92 Volunteer

    Hi NoMore,

    You are incredibly talented and I hope that writing your poetry allows you to heal. I’m wondering about what you are writing about exactly. I think it is often hard to act normal, social, busy, happy, and just be overall responsive to people and their endless requests when you are struggling with so much. I see that as something that comes through in the poem; there are almost two different realities going on. When you’re struggling with so much, it is so hard to be an active participant in the world. I’m thinking of the difficulties of functioning at work and the endless requests to please when there is just so much going on behind the scenes, personally. I’m not sure what you had in mind or are referring to, but thought I would try and share how my experience parallels yours. Please feel free to write back anytime, we always enjoy your writing. Take care.

  14. ZJC9753 Volunteer

    Hi NoMore,

    I think I have said this every time you have shared your poems with us but you have such lovely and beautiful writing. I hope it brings some peace. Thank you for sharing with us again, I am glad you are here. I definitely empathize with this writing-not wanting to remember and wanting to escape, replaying my experiences over and over, and wishing there was something I could have said to change what happened. I think it is important to remember that you did everything that you could have to survive your experience and that there is nothing that you did that would make you deserving of blame. I think your poems are so beautiful and relatable to a lot of survivors so thank you so much for sharing with us. Please come back and share more whenever you want to or need to.

  15. haesol Volunteer

    Hi NoMore,

    Thank you for sharing your writing with us. I’ve mentioned it before but I can’t help but compliment the way you write. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling that way, but I’m also glad you resort to writing as an outlet–I hope it’s helping.
    The disassociation you’ve described is very raw and real, it’s weird and scary at times. I hope you continue to write and share some poems with us if you’d like.
    Stay safe,
    sol.

  16. Northlane1991 Volunteer

    Hey No More

    Thank you for sharing the poem with us. i really enjoyed the poem and the way you express yourself. Feel free to share your work or anything that you need you feel like! Take Care!

  17. brookeallnutt Volunteer

    Hi NoMore,

    Thank you for sharing another poem with us. I’m always blown away by your writing skills and ability to express yourself. Feel free to share your work or anything else whenever you feel like it!

  18. jcas120 Volunteer

    Hello NoMore,

    Thank you for coming back and sharing more of your poetry with us! We love to see it here and it’s also very helpful to read. This piece reminds me of dissociation. I know many people can feel this way due to trauma and this poem can be relatable to many. Thanks again for coming by and sharing this with us!

  19. musicislove

    Hi NoMore,

    Thank you for sharing another poem with us, it’s incredibly written. Your writing style is great, I love the way you get your story out. I definitely relate to the disassociation that seems to be described in your poem, it’s very common for people that have gone through traumatic experiences. Please share any other poems you’d like, we love reading them!

    Delaney

  20. AlisonDKaufman

    Hello:

    Simply an amazing piece of art- thank you for sharing this with us. You paint an amazing picture, allowing the reader to dive right in and understand what you are experiencing as well as allowing us to imagine our own experiences when this happens to us….which I’m sure most of us have been lost in our own thoughts instead of staying IN the moment. I do hope you continue to share your poetry with us – thank you and continue to express yourself!

  21. mjy1999 Volunteer

    Thank you for another great poem. Please keep writing and continue to share your story.

  22. Thomas Volunteer

    Hi NoMore,

    You’re writing style is very creative. I think it’s really cool how you are able to express yourself this way as you continue your own journey of healing. Thank you for sharing with us and please let us know how else we can help!

  23. KatherineL Volunteer

    Hi NoMore,

    Thank you for sharing! It’s amazing how you can transfer your experiences into something creative like this. You’re not alone in experiencing traumas that results in dissociation. It’s a normal coping mechanism in response to trauma. I am glad that you found poetry as a way to process and heal.

    KatherineL

  24. snandi2 Volunteer

    Hey NoMore,
    Thank you for sharing! Your pieces always fascinate me with their unique writing style and the way they all tell a story. I’m sorry that you’re going through so much hardship, but know that we are here for you! Please continue sharing your writing pieces with us.

  25. Ochoa Volunteer

    Hi NoMore,
    Thank you for sharing this poem. It’s very common what your going through. You are not alone. When experienced trauma people tend to dissociate. Just keep your head up, one step at a time things will get better.

  26. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi NoMore,
    Thank you for sharing this poem with us. I love your writing style. I write poetry too and my style of writing is very similar. Dissociating is very common. You are not alone when it comes to this. Like others have said when people have gone through something traumatic, people can dissociate. For me, when this happens it’s because I have a flashback or memory from my trauma. Thank for updating us. If you need anything, we are here for you.
    -Alyssa

  27. colton95 Volunteer

    If you wrote this yourself, I think that you are an immensely talented writer. I am sorry for all that you’re going through right now, and I hope that you will be able to get through this, and stay safe and strong. Maybe writing some more or finding other ways to vent your thoughts will be beneficial towards growth and healing?

  28. kelly Day Captain

    Hi, NoMore. Thanks for sharing your words. As others have said, it’s very common to dissociate after experiencing trauma. It makes simple things like answering a question seem impossible. I definitely struggle with remaining present also. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. Meditation and mindfulness has helped me a lot with staying in the present moment. Sometimes just taking a deep breathe, and focusing in on my senses – like what’s around me that I hear, smell, see, etc. – can bring me back down to reality. Try to be gentle with yourself and remember it’s a completely normal response to trauma.

  29. Neesha Volunteer

    NoMore,
    Not being able to focus, or disassociating, is a perfectly normal way of coping. In some ways it is a brilliant, disengaging from the blinding pain of trauma. It is frustrating when we can’t seem to turn it off at will and focus when we want. I am sorry that you are struggling with it. It takes practice and patience to come back to reality and stay grounded. Please be compassionate with yourself as you move through this.

    I love your poetry and thank you for sharing.

  30. alexiswilliams

    NoMore,

    Thank you for sharing. I am sorry that you are experiencing these things. This is a normal way that people cope with trauma, you are not alone. It can be hard to engage with people when your mind is elsewhere, I can relate to that. I have found that the best way to stay engaged is to just make a conscious effort and keep practicing, I know how frustrating it can be.

    Sending hope,
    Lex

  31. rebabyblue Volunteer

    Hello NoMore,

    You are so talented, it is great that you using writing as a method of healing. I am sorry that you are struggling with your past experiences. You are a strong person and in the process of healing and that is great. When we are projecting our past traumas we tend to feel it will never end or we are not able to heal but I hope you know that it not true. Everyone is able to heal from traumas and you are on the journey already which is amazing. Thank you for sharing your poem. I hope you will not stop sharing your talent.

  32. yailinrenteria Volunteer

    Hey NoMore,
    Thank you for always sharing with us. Your poems are always such powerful pieces. It amazes me how poetry can be such an amazing way to express feels and heal. Words are very powerful and they hold a lot of meaning. I’m glad writing has been a method of healing for you. It seems like it has helped you express your feelings. Sharing feelings is not easy and the way you are sharing your feelings is very creative. If writing has been positive on your health and life, please do not stop writing. You are very talented. I know what you have been through is a lot and those awful experiences have only made you stronger. You are strong and resilient. Thank you for your constant updates and poems. It is always great to hear from you.
    Take care,
    Yailin

  33. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi NoMore,
    Thank you for sharing your feelings. Your writing is vivid. It can be so hard to stay in the present moment when our minds are actively trying to withdraw. I empathize with you, and this poem resonates with me. Could it be helpful to look into other ways to stay in the present moment?
    I hope writing is helping you process how you’re feeling, and I hope you’re doing okay. Please take care of yourself, and let us know how we can help.

  34. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear NoMore,
    Thank you for continuing to share your wonderful work with us. Your poetry has a way of bringing clarity to an experience. I could actually imagine myslef in this situation, falling into the pattern on the floor and reliving a moment, hoping I can change it this time, make things different. Then being yanked back into the present moment by someone else. Please take care of yourself and continue doing things that help you heal.
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  35. Breanna Volunteer

    Hi NoMore,

    Thank you for sharing another lovely, well-written poem with us. It sounds like you’ve been struggling staying concentrated and present with reality. It seems like poetry and writing are your go-to coping mechanisms, and I’m glad that you have these healthy tools to fall back on. Being detached from reality sometimes can be distressing and frustrating, especially when interacting and engaging with others. I hope you are feeling okay and that these tools are helpful. I’m looking forward to reading more of your work. Keep your chin up, things can get better.

    Sending you love and support,
    Bre

  36. Ashley Day Captain

    NoMore,

    When we detach from reality, it can be difficult to bring ourselves back to the present. It sounds like you attempt to break free from body memories by focusing on various things in your mind, such as poems and scenes.

    Thank you for sharing this piece of work with us. I hope you are doing okay.

    Ashley

  37. jlanderos16 Volunteer

    Hey Nomore,
    Thank you for coming back and sharing with us! First off, thank you for sharing another poem with us, it’s always nice just reading poems and understanding your feelings. You’re a strong person for doing this and just sharing with us. We are always here for you and your beautiful poems! Be safe!

  38. almax Volunteer

    Hey there NoMore, thank you for sharing another poem with us, it is always nice to read the way you express yourself. It seems writing poems really helps you get your feeling out, that makes me happy to see you can do this. You are very strong for that. We are always here to listen, I wish you well.

  39. cindy024 Volunteer

    Hi, NoMore,
    Thanks for sharing with us your poem! and As always, we are here to help and support you! You are strong and brave! This is very valuable and powerful! thank you!

  40. Elvia29 Volunteer

    Hi NoMore,
    Thank you for this great message. I see writing is helping you express your feelings. That’s great keep doing it. Also, hope you continue to share your new message with us. We really appreciate your message.
    Stay strong,
    Elvia

  41. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    This was a really great poem. Thank you for coming back to share-this really resonated with me. Keep writing if that helps!

    Erin

  42. larakopp Volunteer

    Another great poem, Nomore. I love how you play around with the conscious and subconscious themes in your poetry. I am sorry that you have a hard time being present in the world around you and are having to remember such awful experiences, but I’m glad that you have poetry and/or songs as a means to escape or to filter and express the pain or emotions that you feel. That last stanza is so powerful: “I don’t want to remember. / My body can’t escape. / My mind will. / ” Wow; so, so, so powerful. Once again, your bravery and willingness to be vulnerable is helpful to others. Thank you for sharing this!
    Take care,
    Lara