I honestly don’t know what brought me to this realization. I want to blame it’s my forgiving nature, or my ability wanting to believe there’s good in everyone, despite what they did to you.
I was checking my facebook earlier, and stumbled upon my sister’s ex’s moms page (if you already know, he set off the triggers from the actual rape last March), and it has already been a year since he moved out of our home.
I saw a photo of him, and I already knew he’s been losing weight, and drinking heavily, but the photo just haunts me. I mean, this is the guy I looked to as a big brother for years, and yeah, there’s no excuse for what he did to me, but I still can’t help but care for him in a way, same with my ex boyfriend.
Do you think if I can forgive them both, maybe then I can forgive and quit blaming myself, too? Will it start to feel a little better?