I was denied disability for my PTSD, which I’ve heard is common for first timers.
That isn’t exactly why I’m at my breaking point, but rather when I went to see my old counselor since my other appointment is on hold.
She stated she had clients who could work and deal with their shit, and asked me why I couldn’t…
I really hope she didn’t mean it like she stated, but it feels like nobody wants to help me. I know I’m supposed to help myself, but how can I without proper guidance? All they do is prescribe meds that make me worse, and expect me to be a-okay, and yet they turn down my idea of CBD Oil.
But I will be visiting some friends, and doing photography this week in Pitt to just get away and clear my head..
I just don’t know how much more I can take before I snap..


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12 comments

  1. alexcostello Volunteer

    Hi there Jamie Marie,
    I am so sorry to hear this, it can be incredibly disheartening when the people we go to for advice let us down in this way! I promise we are here for you in any way that you need, and you certainly are worthy and deserve help where you wish to have it! I think one thing that was important in seeing someone for me was that it’s easy to know that you need to give yourself some help but it is just so tough to figure out in what way and where to start! So please don’t feel like there’s something wrong with you or that you’re doing something wrong, this is one of the hardest things people go through! So please be kind and gentle to yourself, this is incredibly hard and you’re doing an amazing job so you should give yourself some credit!! We will always be in your corner and we are here for you whenever you need it I promise you, and we will always do our best to help you in any way that you need!!!!!
    Sending love and strength to you and I hope you enjoy your week in Pitt seeing your friends and recharging!
    Alex

  2. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I’m so sorry you’re struggling right now. What your counselor said was insensitive. It’s okay to ask for help as you work through trauma. It can be so hard to ask for help, and I’m proud of you for reaching out and being in therapy.
    I hope you feel better when you visit your friends and that the getaway helps you clear your head.
    Thank you for updating us. I hope things will get better soon.

  3. kelly Day Captain

    Hi, Jamie Marie. I’m sorry you’re struggling with finding the right support. It can be hell. I’ve been through so many therapists myself, and I’ve seen some that I’m sure are doing more harm than good. It’s a frustrating system. There are good therapists out there, though. Ones that will let you lead and trust you know yourself. Please don’t give up hope. You will heal from this, it can take time and be incredibly draining, but it’s possible.

  4. Turnschaosintoart Day Captain

    Jamie Marie,
    So being denied disability sucks but that’s normal, that’s when you get a Lawyer involved and Re-apply. You old thearpist was kinda out of line. Therapist should never compare clients. Thats kinda the point of client confidentiality. So not cool on her part. People do want to help even tho they seem like they dont. Doctors think meds will make everything better, that isn’t always the case. If you don’t want them tell them no. Find a doc who doest think meds are the only solution and look for someone who is int alternative healing methods they probably would agree with cbd oil. Id try it personally. I have a friend who takes cbd gummys and swears by them. You are doing really well. I think visiting youe friends and getting out of your head for a while Will help a lot. Especially if photography is something that makes you happy. O I have a book for you. I use it in my sessions, its a workbook but it helps explore your ptsd. Its pretty beneficial called “The Ptsd Workbook 3rd edition” by Mary Beth Williams ,Phd LCSW, Cts Soili Poijula Phd. Hope it helps if you arnt in therapy. Can get it at Barnes and Noble on line or Amazon. Keep being strong. Much love
    Kristin

  5. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear Jamie Marie,
    I am sorry that things are so hard right now. Dealing with your PTSD, finding out your disability was denied, and being on hold with your new therapist is quite a lot to handle. Then having someone you are trusting to help you say something so insensitive…it can certainly push one to a breaking point. Keep breathing, keep finding those happy moments, keep doing things you enjoy, keep pushing forward. As long as you are working on it, it will get better. I know that it is hard, but I also know that you are strong and you will begin to heal.
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  6. Ashley Day Captain

    Jamie Marie,

    I wasn’t aware that people who have PTSD typically get denied for disability the first time they apply, so thank you for sharing that information.
    Since you were willing to sit across from your previous counselor, I can tell you’re doing what you can to push forward.
    It wasn’t okay for your counselor to make comparisons among her clients. Everyone copes differently and there’s nothing wrong with that. It seems like you’re doing what you can to keep your head above water, and wanting to have the guidance from an outside source isn’t unreasonable.
    It’s great that you’ll be spending time with friends and taking photos to provide yourself with a break.

    I encourage you to continue fighting.

  7. CarmenR Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I’m so sorry that your counselor commented the way she did. Even if she didn’t mean it in a bad way, it was still unprofessional of her to do so. Have you considered seeking a new therapist? Maybe you can find one who may be able to medicate you less, and help yolu work through your feelings more. I know things seem hard right now, but please come to us when things get difficult. That’s what we are here for. I’m glad to hear you are spending time with friends and doing somehtign you are passionate about, like photography. Being around loved ones and focusing on my passions has always allowed me to feel better. Please stay strong and know that you can come to us. You’ve got this! <3

    Carmen

  8. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I’m sorry things are not better. I hope the photography goes well and it cheers you up. When you are feeling depressed I know how hard it is to think of happy things, but it will help you get through the tough times. You can also write to us. We love hearing from you and want you to get better.
    I know it is hard to get disability for PTSD, but you can try again in the future if you need. I think once you get proper help from a good therapist things will look up. Don’t listen to what your old therapist said because that was rude and insensitive. You did not deserve to hear that. I honestly can’t believe that a therapist would say that to a patient. You can take all the time you need to recover because everyone recovers differently. We are all here for you and want you to feel good. I know you work for AVFTI so you can also message me if you ever need to talk. Have fun in Pitts!
    -Alyssa

  9. Solongago Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie.

    I hope she did not mean it the way it sounded. I wish that counselors were taught better how to work with us. It seems that some of them see us as numbers. They see 30-40 patients/clients per week. Some more. We see one of them in that week.

    Currently, I am working with a lady who seems to get that my Merry-Go-Round may have the same music as other survivors’ but all my horses are individuals. There are similarities when it comes to people who have experienced sexual assault or child sexual abuse. And yes, many of us are able to work. But no two histories are the same, even in the same family. And, no two people process and manage abuse the same because no two people have the same genetic make-up or the same history and early programming. Most therapists get this, I think.

    I wish that they knew how much the stuff they say or do can effect us. We are vulnerable. We tend to expect and therefore find the most negative in everything. I mean, if we have a low self-esteem, or believe we deserve bad things to happen to us because of our guilt or shame, then we tend to hear statements as negatively as possible. We read into things stuff that isn’t there. At least I do. And, some of us have only heard affirming, kind statements that build us up in therapy, so that losing that connection is like losing a lifeline — whereas, they see hundreds of patients, and sending some to another counselor for whatever reason is nothing to them.

    If my counselor says, “this does seem to exhaust you, maybe you would do better coming every other week instead of every week.” My brain starts churning away, thinking “she doesn’t want to see me every week. She thinks other people only need to come in every other week. I am not doing enough to need to come in every week. I shouldn’t still be here…” It is complicated. For me, I can see (at least eventually) that my therapist is not necessarily thinking any of this stuff.

    Maybe what your therapist was trying to do, was to clarify for the paperwork, using your words, your experience to explain why the PTSD for you is a disability.

    Anyhow, I am sorry you are having such a hard time.

  10. himynameisamos

    I’m really sorry, Jamie, that you’re having issues with receiving care, on top of everything else. I’m also sorry that your counselor had that response to you. You went to them for support, which you weren’t met with. Hopefully, visiting friends this weekend will turn things around and help you think of things in a different way.

    -Amos

  11. gordonsv Volunteer

    Jamie,

    I am so very sorry to hear about what happened! You are so strong and brave, something good will come of it! Please continue reaching out to professionals and people to help you. If you ever need to talk about anything or need a list of resources, please let me know!! Visiting your friends sounds like a great, relaxing time 🙂 Enjoy it!

    -Savannah

  12. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    I am so sorry that you are having all of these issues with the medical system. It’s so unfortunate that our healthcare system so often fails survivors. Is there a local rape crisis center that may be able to help you through the process of getting your disability for your PTSD? Maybe they could at least support you along the way. I’m sorry your therapist said that-will you be able to get back with your new therapist who is more helpful? Let us know how else we can help-we are here for you. Text VOICE to 741 741 whenever you need.

    Erin