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8 years ago I was sexually harassed. I have never been a confident person but after what he did to me I broke. No 12 year old should have to go through what I did. I became mute, anorexic, suicidal, and would self harm. I have just gotten to a point in my life where I was happy. I lived my day to day life without letting my past define me. I found a man who makes me feel beautiful and worth it, plus he ALWAYS asks for consent to do anything even if it’s to put his arm around me or hold my hand. 

Today I found out the guy I lost my virginity to sent a picture of my butt to his group chat of his sports team. This brought so many emotions back to the point that I broke down in tears in front of girls from my dorm. I have never felt so humiliated and just straight mad before. I didn’t know where else to go but here so I thank God that I found this place and have been a volunteer for a little bit now. Just needed to get this off my chest so I don’t fall even farther.


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13 comments

  1. JProshuto Volunteer

    Thank you for sharing your story with all of us at AVFTI. Did you ever seek professional help with the traumatic experience and the other feelings you were having and thinking about? I am glad to have you on board with us at AVFTI.

  2. Mary Volunteer

    Hi Gamato,04,

    Thank you for sharing your story! I am so sorry, both for what happened 8 years ago, and for what just happened. You did not deserve to go through either. I am so happy that you are in a good place now after you were struggling so much as a teen. I’m glad that you are in a healthy relationship, as well. You deserve it! What this guy did with your photo was horrible. He betrayed your trust and violated your privacy. It makes sense that you are feeling humiliated and furious. We’re all here to talk.

    Mary

  3. Jamie Marie Volunteer

    I can see firsthand how seeing that photo could bring back all of the memories and emotions to the surface, but it’s okay to feel what you feel.
    I’m sorry you had to experience this in the first place, and it’s completely their fault, not yours.
    You’re strong and worthy of many amazing things life has to offer.

  4. Zoe Volunteer

    Hey, Gamato04.

    I am so sorry for these things you have experienced. I know how angry and hurt you must feel after finding out what that guy did. You have every right to feel the way that you do. What he did was completely unacceptable. You deserve to be valued and treated with respect. I am sorry that your privacy and trust was violated in such a way.

    I’m thankful that you seem to have found a partner who treats you well. You deserve love and respect, and I’m glad you have that now. I hope you never settle for less. And please know that you have so much worth, regardless of whether a guy tells you that you do or not. Self-love and validation can be extremely difficult (trust me, I know), but it is so beneficial and healthy for us.

    Thank you for sharing your struggle with us. As I’m sure you know, you’re not alone.

    Zoe.

  5. kelly Day Captain

    Hi, Gamato04. I’m so sorry that happened to you when you were 12, and I can see how this recent event with the picture would cause a lot of those emotions to come up. I think the sending of images without consent happens to a lot of people and it is incredibly violating. I don’t know if you want to involve the law, that’s completely up to you, but I think it’s worth mentioning that a lot of U.S. states have implemented “revenge porn” laws. Sharing intimate photos without consent should be taken seriously. I’m glad you found us and shared your story. You’re incredibly strong for surviving all of that and you deserve to feel beautiful and happy. You are worth it. Let us know if we can help in anyway. We’re here for you.

  6. SAF Volunteer

    Hi gamato04,
    Thanks for sharing with us. Talking about things that happened can help work through the emotions surrounding it. I hope talking to us has helped you and if there’s ever anything else we can do, please let us know.
    Stay Strong,
    Stella

  7. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi Gamato04,
    I’m truly sorry about what you’ve been through. What he did was so wrong, and I hate that he had the nerve to send that picture. That says so much about the type of person he is. What happened was not your fault, and you don’t deserve any of this. I can understand why this brought back a lot of feelings, and how you’re feeling is valid.
    I’m glad that you found an amazing person. You deserve that kindness and support in your life. Have you told him about what happened? It could help to confide in someone you trust if you’re comfortable.
    Thank you for volunteering with us and for sharing your story. We’re here for you. Please don’t hesitate to write back if you need to talk. You’re strong, and you can make it through this.

  8. Kailey2298 Volunteer

    Hi Gamato04,
    I’m sorry to hear this is happening to you, thank you for trusting us with your story. None of these events are your fault and it’s important to remember that. I’m happy you found someone who cares about you and makes you feel safe. That’s very important. If you need anythin* else please feel free to com back and share! You are strong don’t forget that!
    Kailey

  9. Julia Mandel Day Captain

    Thank you so much for reaching out to us and sharing your story. You did not deserve that sort of treatment and none of what happened was your fault. We are always here for you whenever you need us <3

  10. jamie.lynn Volunteer

    Gamato04,
    I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with this. You don’t deserve to be treated this way and I can totally understand the magnitude of emotions you are experiencing right now. We are so happy that you are here with us and I know you know we are here to provide you with as much support as you need! I remember a therapist telling me once, it’s okay to the feel the emotion and then release it. It can be scary to feel that intense of an emotion but sometimes we need to in order to set it free. I hope that you find comfort in allowing yourself to feel it but not letting it define who you are or what your day looks like. You are a strong individual and you can overcome these feelings! We are here for you!!

    -jamie

  11. CarmenR Volunteer

    Hi Gamato04,

    I am so sorry for what happened to you, and what you are currently going through. You don’t deserve to be treated the way that you were, and I hope you know that you are not alone. What you are feeling is normal, but we are here to support you through it. We are glad that you found us, and thank you for sharing with us. As Natalie mentioned, when things get rough, try to remember the things in life that make you happy and mean a lot to you. You’ve got this, and we are here for you. Stay strong!

  12. Natalie M Day Captain

    hi there,
    I am so sorry that this happened to you. You are right, no 12 year old should go through something like that. Its great that you found a man who can make you feel happy, and I am sorry that what the other guy did brought back old emotions. But that is okay and that is normal. We are glad you came here to share with us! Thank you for trusting us. But I want to let you know that these things that happened to you were not your fault, and they do not define who you are today. You are so much more! Stay strong. Try to remember the happy times even when you feel you have no place left to turn! We will always be here! You got this!
    -Natalie

  13. Solongago

    I’m sorry that happened. What a jerk! This was the guy that seemed so nice to you, that makes you feel beautiful and worth it? If I read that right, what a betrayal. Well, you are beautiful and worth it, and there are more fish in the sea. There are guys out there that are even better if this one did that. And, if he did, it is far better to know now what a scum ball he is, before you are planning your life around him, engaged, married, with child. But even so, I know it hurts, and I am sorry.