(This happened back in january)
One night I was staying at a resort with my family. There were about 40 of us staying there that night. For my family we all have an unbreakable bond and we all support each other no matter what. But with that comes alot of judgement and pressure. I’m the baby of the family, even though I’m not the youngest, so everyone is crazy protective over me. At that time i recently got out of a 2yr relationship, he didnt even break up with me. He literally just ghosted me and started dating a new girl. I was so heartbroken and depressed. So that night my cousins tried really hard to make me have fun and forget about him. So we ended up drinking and smoking throughout the night. Later that evening we had a bonfire on the beach. My aunt’s husband then joined us (he was close to our age so we let him stay). Then a few of my cousins fell asleep by the fire. I was so drunk i dont remember much. But i remember him touch me and asking me to leave with him. And i remember telling him no so many times but he wouldnt leave me alone. he kept touching me, but it was dark and no one could really see what he was doing to me. I remember that i noticed that we were almost out of alcohol so i finished the rest of it. Then i asked my older guy cousin to go out with my aunt’s husband to get more. He looked at me so confused and i asked him and my girl cousin to come with me to the ocean. And my aunt’s husband tried to follow us but i told him i was going to throw up, so he let us be. I told me cousins what was going on and we made a plan to get met aunt’s husband away. I felt like my attire was the reason my aunt’s husband come onto me so i asked me guy cousin if i could wear his hoodie. When my guy cousin and aunt’s husband left i slapped all my cousins awake because i was so scared. I didnt know what to do. But it took longer than usual and my cousin and the guy was back already. I was planning to wake up my cousins then run and tell my uncles and adults who were sleeping in the resort that was literally 50 metres from us. But they came back too soon. That night no one slept, I was so scared even though all my cousins were there and aware. The guy left around 5am but we were still too scared to sleep. The next day the rest of my family found out what happened and was determined to track him down. My aunt called me a liar and a slut, because she said her husband would never do that to her and her 2 little children. I feel guilty and ashamed because I’m the reason shes cut out of the family now. I feel like i couldve done more to stop him. I feel like i shouldve worn more than just my bikini and shorts. I feel like a home wrecker. to be honest i just feel dirty.
There are still nights I have nightmares about his hands on me. This isnt the first time iv’e been sexually assulted, but it hurts the most because its family.