This is a story about my fiancé and I. We were heroin addicts. I met him in May of 2018 and we soon became inseparable. Shortly after we linked up, he introduced me to heroin. I loved the feeling, just like I loved the feeling of the many opiates I had taken in the past. Our relationship soon became all about the drug; we would do anything for a fix. My fiancé had a friend named Will. He was a dope dealer and he had always taken a strong liking to me. Because he was so into me, my fiancé never wanted us to be alone.
Fast forward a few months and my addiction was taking over my life. I went to Will’s house for a fix. He ended up raping me, putting himself inside my mouth. I was so high I didn’t even care. I didn’t cry, kick, or scream. I acted like a zombie. When the next day rolls around I meet my fiancé and tell him where I had been. Before I could tell him what really happened, he kidnaps me. I’m begging for him to let me go, pleading with the golfers in his neighborhood to help me. Nobody does a thing. When we arrived at his place, he ends up assaulting me. When I tried to escape, he threw me up against a wall and choked me out. The police were called and that was the last I had seen of him.
However, when I was away at rehab, we reconnected. He told me he was still seeing Will for drugs. (He never knew that this guy had raped me.) Despite this, we still talked on the phone every day. When I called him and he didn’t answer, I thought he had blocked me. It turns out he had passed away; he was killed by Will.
When I left rehab, DEA agents got in touch with me. They told me the full story. Will apparently laced his dope with Fentanyl. He did this because he wanted to get closer to me. With my fiancé out of the way, he thought he would have a shot with me.
I live with guilt and shame every day, knowing that I was the cause of my fiancé’s death. Will is facing over 20 years in prison and no, he didn’t get any additional time for raping me because the cops wouldn’t press charges.
The one year anniversary of my fiancé’s death is coming up and that’s why I feel so compelled to write about him. I hope one day I’ll be able to forgive myself and move on.