It’s been 7 months since my attack and I still have the nightmares. I still have the cold chills and sweats. I still have the flashbacks. They’re not as bad as they used to be. I feel sympathy for all these victims coming out recently. We as a family need to be there for everyone coming out and be there with a hand held out. There’s so many people recently coming out scared or are afraid to because they think they won’t be believed or judged. I love every single one of you guys and I’m here for anyone that needs to talk

Join the Conversation


  1. Julia Mandel Day Captain

    Thank you for speaking out about what happened to you and helping others not feel so alone! Your reaction is completely normal; healing takes time.

  2. Bethany Volunteer

    Hey there,

    Thanks for offering your support for everyone else. Don’t forget to take care of yourself too. It’s okay to still not be okay. There isn’t a time test for how quickly you can get over your attack. I have still been struggling with nightmares recently- despite not having them for forever. Good days and bad days happen. You’re allowed to have both.

  3. Ashley Day Captain

    Thank you for offering support and providing words of encouragement to those in our community. I’m sorry that the nightmares, cold chills and sweats, and flashbacks still emerge. I agree that the victims who come forward need comfort and understanding.

    Sending hugs and love your way.

  4. Sar

    It’s astounding that even through your own experience you are waiting with open arms to help others who are hurting. You are an incredible person and your strength and tenacity shines through. Hopefully in time your flashbacks get better; have you talked to anyone else about what’s going on? There are lots of new therapies that can help ease the flashbacks and nightmares. You deserve that happiness and peace you are so willing to help others find. Thank you for sharing and big huge hugs to you.


    Amen!!! We didn’t ask to be members of this “club” but here we are sharing, caring, loving, supporting, believing, and praying for each other despite our own pain. Much love and respect to each of you survivors!!!? and thank you so much for this heart felt blog Nikki you are amazing and I’m sending you
    Peaceful and healing energy sweets✌


  6. Manny

    Your words show your strength. In the face of what you are going through you are offering a helping hand to others.
    Wishing you peace and healing. We are here for you.

  7. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    Thank you so much for coming back to share more. As cliche as it sounds, each day is another day for you to keep going with your recovery. We are here for support you. Thank you for being here.


  8. MH Volunteer

    Hey Nikkiledgerwood,
    I am so sorry for what happened to you and that you are still experiencing the effects of it.
    I am glad that people are feeling supported enough to come out and tell their stories- we will always stand behind them and listen/believe.
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

  9. Jacqui

    You are so right. We need to be there for everyone. It isn’t always easy to tell your story, but I think it makes things a bit easier. I like how you reflected that even though you still have the bad effects, they aren’t as bad…taht shows things in a positive light. Thank you.

  10. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi Nikkiledgerwood,
    I am so sorry about what happened. If you are still scared about what happened it’s okay. You can take as long as you need to recover. I would try therapy because therapists are trained professionals who know how to handle traumatic situations. I know not everyone likes therapy, so you don’t have to try it, but if you do AVFTI can help you find a therapist.
    It is sad that many people have been sexuall assaulted, which like you said it is so important that we all stick together.
    Thank you for trusting and sharing your story with AVFTI. If you need anything else you can always write back.