Hey everyone, it’s Jamie.

It’s my last night here visiting my friends in the city, and it was a much needed break. I met with the program director for the program I was accepted into, and it went well. I got to photograph and meet up with friends I haven’t seen since 2014, which was nice. Me & a friend are looking at places to live for when I move.

Unfortunately, I received news my grandfather passed away on the evening of the 29th, and the funeral/services won’t be until around Jan 20th. And it seems my sister’s ex, who ended up touching me when I was asleep, is trying to weasel his way back into our lives and of course is denying it happened…

On the plus side, my first love & I are talking again and it turns out we still love each other, so who knows.

I really, really hope 2020 is a better year.

Join the Conversation


  1. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I’m so sorry for your loss and for your sisters ex trying to come back. It sounds like everything else is going really good for you, so I would try to focus on that and making 2020 as good as it can be. Good luck with the move. I know moving sucks and can be very strenuous, but if your friend is helping I’m sure it will be less stressful. Thank you for updating us. If you need anything else we are here for you.

  2. dzreid Volunteer

    hello Jamie,
    I’m so glad you had the opportunity to visit your friends & catch up. I’m also happy for you that the first meeting with this program went well. This is great news! I am sorry to hear about your grandfather. Loosing a loved one is never easy. Draw strength from your friends & family during this hard time. it’s unfortunate that your abuser has re entered your life. continue to reach out & take care of you. Do what you need to make sure you are safe. I’m sure this could raise loads of questions & mixed emotions for you. Stay strong. Allow yourself the time to feel those feeling that may come up. You can continue on & not allow him to affect your life. I am glad that things are looking up between you & your ex. I wish the best! You deserve to be happy! come back & share any time!

  3. jcas120 Volunteer

    Hello Jamie,

    Thank you for returning to AVFTI to share more with us.

    I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather. The death of a relative can always be a difficult experience, no matter what their relationship may have been to you. Having your abuser come back into your life like that must be incredibly difficult. I hope you stay strong and know that you are not to blame for anything he says about what happened. We believe you and support you.

    I am happy to hear about some of your recent wins! I am glad that meeting went well, and I am glad you got to meet up with some old friends! These precious moments in our lives can give us the mental boosts we need to make more positive change happen. I always find myself looking back on fun moments during moments of doubt, and they give me strength. I hope these moments can do the same thing for you. I wish you the best of luck on your move as well! Moving can be difficult at first but the payoff is always great.

    Please come back and update us again, whether it be good or bad, so we can be here for you!

  4. Jess Volunteer

    Thank you for updating us! I’m so glad to hear that your break in the city went well. Sometimes, a break is a nice reset for us, and I’m glad you were able to get that. I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather and your sister’s ex. Remember to take care of yourself while you’re dealing with these events. Lots of self-care and coping skills. If you need anything at all, we’re always here. Stay strong and keep fighting.

  5. Breanna Grunthal Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for the update! I’m glad to hear you’re getting a break and it sounds like time in the city was fun! I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather and your sister’s ex. I hope that your family can support you while you are dealing with both of these new events. Keep your chin up and let us know if there’s anything we can do to support you. Positivity for 2020!

    Sending you love and support,

  6. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear Jamie Marie,
    It is wonderful that you were able to get a break and enjoy yourself. Sometimes a little “reset” is exactly what we need to get us moving forward again when we’ve felt stuck. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your grandfather and I am sending well-wishes to you and your family. I am also sorry to hear about your sister’s ex; dealing with both issues at the same time can be a lot, so be sure to take care of yourself and reach out if you need help.
    Keep up that positive attitude towards 2020 and you will attract positive things! Here is to a 2020 filled with love, laughter, and healing<3
    Sending you love and strength,

  7. Marissa Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for updating us! I’m glad you had a nice break in the city. I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather and that your sister’s ex is trying to get back into your life. My best advice is to just keep your distance from him. It’s awesome that you’re reconnecting with your first love again! I wish the best for you!

    Let us know if there’s anything we can do for you. We’re here to help, as you know.


  8. Samantha Harris Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    Thank you for continuing to share your story with us. I’m sorry that you’re dealing with your sister’s ex being involved in the family again. I hope that you won’t have to deal with him much. I’m glad you’ve been able to talk to your first love! That must be exciting. If you ever need anything, let us know. We’re always here for you.

  9. meg Day Captain

    Hey Jamie!

    Thank you for sharing this with us! I am sorry to hear that your sister’s ex is trying to get back into the family dynamic. Is there someone in your family or a therapist you can confide in about the worries you have with this situation? Just in case they do manage to be back in the picture, you can have a support system close to you. You aren’t alone. I am also sorry to hear about your grandpa’s passing. Remember to take moments for yourself, self care is very important while you grieve.

    Your energy and positivity is absolutely inspiring. You’re doing so well and you should be proud of yourself. Be gentle with yourself and please continue to update us! Thank you for giving such a wonderful, positive energy.


  10. daisychains8891

    Hey Jamie, I’m so glad you had the chance to take a break and get away. I’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather, I know how hard that can be. Hopefully your family won’t allow your sisters’ ex back into your life. Keep your head up, 2020 will be a better year!
    All my love and support,

  11. Knina7 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie,
    I am happy for you! It sounds like 2020 is off to a good start for you! I hope it stays that way, you deserve it! I am sorry that your sister’s ex is trying to get back into your life, I hope that your family doesn’t let that happen.
    Glad to hear things are well.
    Sending Love and Hope,

  12. CarmenR Volunteer

    Hi Jamie,

    It sounds like your year is off to a good start, and I hope that it continues to be great for you. You deserve it! I’m sure living with your new roomate and having your new place will be a lot of fun, and I hope things work out with your first love!

    I’m sorry that your sister’s ex is trying to get back in your life. Stay strong and know that we are here for you. You’ve got this!


  13. Marcus Aurelius Volunteer

    Hi Jamie,

    I’d like to add myself to the general conversation :). I love when you say 2020 should be a good year for you 🙂 I totally think this is possible for you. So many good things you mention in your last post. I have total faith this will work out 🙂 .

    Alrighty then, now for the tricky part (your sister’s ex). As per my experience, I think you have good judgement and I think it would be a good idea to be quite wary of the whole situation. Again, by personal experience I know that family issues can be very tricky..

    All I will say is: if you make it a point to try and remember to always listen to your inner compass, things will work themselves out in the long run. It may take time (or not!), but in the end, your own personal judgement is the “boss” of your life.

    Kind regards,


  14. Megan Volunteer

    Hey Jamie,

    I’m glad you got to visit friends and have a break for a while. And I’m sorry that your grandfather passed and that your abuser is trying to resurface. I hope he stays away. That’s exciting that you reconnected with your first love though! I hope things go well with that!

    I hope 2020 is better for you as well. Wishing you all the best,

  15. Natalie M Day Captain

    Hi Jaime,

    I am glad that you got a much needed break!! I hope you enjoyed your time in the city. I am so sorry to hear that your grandfather passed away. I send you lots of love and support.

    I hope you have a great 2020 year. You deserve it and so much more. Thank you for the update! Please continue to keep us updated as much as you would like!

    Sending all the best,

  16. sam Volunteer

    Hi Jamie,
    I’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather and the return of your sister’s ex. Grief is difficult enough to process, but I’m sure having that kind of negative presence trying to get back into your life makes it even harder. It sucks that he’s denying the pain he caused, but we believe you. I’m glad that other elements of your life are causing you to feel love and hope going into the new year. No matter what, we are here for you.


  17. Lizzi

    Hey Jamie Marie,
    I’m so glad that you got this break and got to have fun with some friends. It sounds like you have an exciting move coming up, and I hope that all goes well for you. So sorry to hear about the loss of your grandfather. I can imagine that’s hard enough to deal with without your sister’s ex coming back into the picture. Even if he denies it, we believe you. I hope 2020 is a better year for you as well, and remember that through good and bad we’re always here for you.

  18. candyappleb Day Captain

    Hi Jamie,

    I’m so glad you had a relaxing trip. I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather. Losing a loved one is difficult any time, but especially around the holiday season. I’m also sorry to hear that your sisters ex is trying to cause problems for you. We believe you. I hope 2020 has wonderful things in store for you. We’re here for you!

    All the best,

  19. Ashley Day Captain

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    I’m sorry for your loss. I hope that your sister’s ex will stop attempting to be in your lives because there’s no reason for him to be around since he has caused you pain.
    It’s great to hear that it was a relief to get away and spend time with your friends. There seems to be a handful of positive things happening right now. You mentioned the meeting with the program director went well, you’re searching for places to live with your friend, and your feelings towards your first love are reciprocated — it seems like life is moving in the right direction!

    Here’s to hoping that 2020 is better.


  20. musicislove

    Hi Jamie,

    I’m glad you enjoyed your break and that you had a good time with your friends. It’s great that you had a good meeting with the program director, and I hope you and your friend found a couple cute places that you like. I’m sorry to hear that your grandfather passed away and that your sister’s ex is disrupting your lives. No one should go through the trauma he put you through and then to lie about it is even worse, I hope he doesn’t get back into your family. It is exciting that you are back in contact with your first love and that the feelings are still there. I hope 2020 is better as well, you’ve got some great things coming up and you’re so strong, I think this year will be positive! Come back and share anytime.


  21. tayestlack Volunteer

    Hello love, I’m glad you’ve had a good time with your friends in the city and that your meeting with the program director went well! I’m so sorry about your grandfather, I hope you’re doing well with that. I hope 2020 is a better year for you as well. Keep your head high and keep fighting!

  22. Thomas Volunteer

    Hi Jamie,

    Thanks for the update. I’m sorry for your grandfathers death and the reoccurrence of your sister’s ex. But I’m excited to hear that other parts of your life are looking up. Healing is not a straight line and it’s a mixture of good and bad things. But a new year means new opportunities. You can do this. You’re strong and you’re capable of persevering. Plus you’re not in this alone. Please let us know how else we can help. Stay strong.


  23. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    Thank you for coming to update us, with both the good and the bad. I’m sorry your grandpa died, and we are here for you.


  24. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi Jamie,
    I’m so sorry for your loss, and I hope you have family and friends to support you through this difficult time. We’re also here to support you, so please write back if you need anything. I’m really sorry that your abuser is trying to re-enter your life and deny what happened. You didn’t deserve what happened to you, you are not at fault, and we believe you.
    I’m so glad that you were able to meet with your friends and have a break. Being able to reset is wonderful. It’s amazing that you and your first love are talking again, and I wish you both the best. This post sounds hopeful, and focusing on these good things can help a lot.
    Thank you for updating us, and happy new year! I hope 2020 is a year filled with happiness and love – you deserve it.

  25. Solongago Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I am glad that you got a much needed break, and got to see friends from the past. It sounds like you are moving forward with good things in your life. Please give yourself credit for all of them because change is hard, even the good ones.

    I am sorry that you abuser doesn’t leave you and your family alone. I wish that wasn’t happening.

    I hope that all your hopes for 2020 are realized, and if your first love is supposed to be the one to spend a lifetime with that would be awesome.

    Happy New Year. I love that you are starting it out with hope, and marking good things.

  26. mikaylaanne11 Volunteer

    Hey there Jamie Marie,

    I’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather passing. It’s always hard to lose the ones we love, and we’re here to support you through that journey, as well. It’s also upsetting to hear that your abuser is trying to reconnect with those close to you. Remember that we believe you, and you didn’t deserve to be hurt by him.

    I think it’s great to focus on the good things that have happened over your holiday, like reconnecting with your old friends and your first love. I’m sending lots of positivity your way in the hopes that you have a wonderful year! Reach out to us any time you need.