It’s been two years today when me and my ex made it official, and I’m in such heartache over him, even after the turmoil we put each other through.

Been trying to move on, focusing on my photography when he, out of nowhere, viewed my instagram and liked a few of my posts…I haven’t talked to him since April when I told him it hurt too much to be just “friends”…

I don’t know what he’s feeling, or thinking despite him having another girlfriend and it kills me not knowing…I just downright miss him, and I don’t know why.


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38 comments

  1. Natalie M Day Captain

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for providing us an update! I am sure this day must have been very difficult for you. That is always a hard thing to go through, and it is very normal and valid that you felt this way. It is okay to miss him. Remember, you are the most important person in this situation! Do whatever you need to so that you can be at your best! We support you through your journey, and it will get better!!

    Stay strong,
    -Natalie

  2. eagle206 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I’m sorry to hear that you are hurting about your ex. It’s definitely hard to think about people in your past, especially on old anniversaries or holidays. I know it might be hard but you may want to block him on Instagram. If it’s hard seeing his activity it might give you peace of mind and some healthy space to block him for the time being. You can always add him back when you are in a better place. It’s completely human and normal to miss someone who used to be a big part of your life. Keep focusing on your photography and try and spend time with other friends! Time can help heal a breakup wound.

    Stay strong,

    Tyler

  3. Bluebell13 Volunteer

    Dear Jamie Marie,
    It is good to hear from you again. Congratulations on focusing on a creative outlet! It is a great source of healing.
    I am going to have to agree with Meg and Jordan on this one. You set your boundary and he crossed it by liking your posts; it is time to block him so that he is not able to cross it again. Jordan’s reasons are spot on. Don’t let him undo all of the healing work you have been doing. Take care of you and keep your focus on you.
    Sending you love and strength,
    Roxie

  4. Starling Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    Thank you for continuing to share your story with us. I’m sorry that you’re struggling with this right now. It’s completely understandable to still miss him. You’ve been really strong by working through this time with your photography. It’s never easy dealing with a breakup, especially when you have to be reminded by him liking your posts. I hope things start to look up soon. If you ever need anything, let us know. We’re always here for you.

  5. rachelb098 Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    It must have been incredibly difficult to go through that separation, and your ability to push forward and focus on photography demonstrates resilience and perseverance. With that said, it’s understandable to miss your ex, and that must be painful to deal with. Sometimes it can be helpful to think about what’s helped you feel better in the past when those feelings came up. If you ever need someone to talk to about what’s been going on, reach out back here or text VOICE to 741-741 to speak to a trained counselor.

  6. Jordan Volunteer

    Dear Jamie Marie,

    I can’t even imagine the whirlwind of emotions that he brought up for you by viewing and liking your stuff on Instagram. I feel like that would give you mixed signals as well. Something tells me that it might be a good idea for you to block him on social media for a few reasons. 1) you made it clear that you guys would never be able to be friends after the breakup, and it seems that the breakup is still affecting you in some ways still to this day. 2) by him reacting to your stuff on social media, it seems to have abruptly stopped your trying to move on and start to focus on his intentions and motives- which sounds like something you do not need in your life. Lastly, 3) he currently has a girlfriend and something tells me that a current girlfriend wouldn’t be completely cool with that. I don’t want you to get caught up in someone’s else’s drama because whatever is going on with them (whether good or bad). It has nothing to do with you. It isn’t that I don’t think you can’t be friends with a past partner after a breakup, but given the fact that you said it wasn’t a good relationship to begin with and that it just hurt too much to be friends, it doesn’t sound like anything good could come out of this. Just trying to keep your best interests in mind. <3 You deserve better and you're in the process of moving on, you have been. Don't let this little bump in the road stop that. Sending hugs your way.

    – Jordan

  7. meg Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie!

    Thank you for sharing with us. I am sorry to hear that your heart is hurting.. break ups are always so hard especially when you were with someone for a long time. Take it day by day…it’s always hard to believe but you will find that you will be thinking of him less often with time. I think it’s amazing that you’re working on your photography! I love photography. It’s such a beautiful way to express yourself and share the inside of your brain and what you see/feel with the world. With your ex liking your posts, it’s difficult and sad to do but temporarily blocking him and muting his stuff too will help. If he has an issue with that, it’s just as simple as telling him that “it’s not about you.” and leaving it as is. You don’t owe him anything or any explanation. Missing him is hard but acknowledge what you’re feeling and know that it’s only temporary. Keep working on yourself, you’re putting in such great work. Do you have a therapist that you can talk to when it feels overwhelming? If you look through the FIND HELP tab, we have some excellent resources that can help you find a therapist. I believe in you. I hope you come back and share with us again!

    -Meg

  8. dzreid Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie!
    Thanks for returning & sharing. Breaking up with someone is never easy. The way I view a breakup, is similar to the stages of grief. You have to first acknowledge, then accept, then allow yourself time. Time to process. Time to grief. Time to continue on. I know these aren’t the “stages” of grief, but they’re my version. I understand how much of a challenge this has been for you. The way you feel, I believe is a normal reaction. You need to continue taking care of you. You can’t control his thoughts or actions, but can control your responses. Hold onto any positive memories that was created between the 2 of you! I find taking pictures to be so enjoying, & so entertaining. I hope your passion for photography will grow!
    Dawn

  9. larakopp Volunteer

    Hi, Jamie Marie:

    Thank you for writing!

    I’m glad you’ve been able to focus more on your photography. But breakups are hard–and it can be hard, too when people reach out again after we’ve told them that “it’s hard to be just friends.” Your feelings are your feelings and it doesn’t matter when or why you feel them, they’re just there. I think it’s good that you’re acknowledging them, but I’m sorry that they’re causing you heartache.

    We’re here for you anytime you need to share!

    -Lara

  10. JWorks Volunteer

    Jamie Marie,

    I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with thoughts of your ex. I know it can be hard to get past exes sometimes even when we think we have. It’s a long and difficult path but you can do it. I wish you luck and please keep us updated!

    -Jay

  11. aegardiner Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been having a difficult time. It can be so frustrating when we take the time to move ahead and focus on other things when all of the sudden people can appear out of nowhere. It can be unfair for them to do this because it can stir up a range of emotions in us all over again. The feelings you are experiencing are normal and hopefully in time, even if he does pop up every now and again, the heartache should subside. Just keep focusing on all the positives that you have in your life like you have been doing. Reach out here whenever you need!

  12. Marissa Day Captain

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for coming back and sharing with us again. I’m sorry you’re going through such a hard time, but I hope you know that your feelings are normal and valid. Breakups are really hard but you will get through this! It won’t be easy but you’re strong and we are here supporting you through everything, no matter what. Please let us know if there’s anything we can do to make this less difficult for you. Keep moving forward!

    Marissa

  13. Amysue43 Volunteer

    Your feelings are playing out as expected. There is going to be a period where there’s regret, despair, anger, sadness, etc. It’s normal to miss someone; however, being patient with the idea that you are doing what you’re doing because it’s what’s best for you. The pain now will soon be something you reflect on and are thankful for.
    Stay strong <3

  14. Lex Volunteer

    Hi Jame Marie,

    Thank you for coming back to share with us. I am sorry you are feeling this way and having a difficult time right now. Breakups can be a difficult thing to go through, and it can be hard to not think of the great memories you both made with each other. It is completely understandable and normal to miss him. I hope by focusing more on your photography you will be able to heal and move on.

    Stay strong! We are here for you, always!
    – Lex

  15. candyappleb Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I’m sorry that you’re feeling unsure of yourself right now. It’s okay to miss him, but remember you are in charge of your healing. If you’ve decided that it’s best not to speak to one another; then he needs to respect those wishes. You are in control. Break ups can be really difficult especially when there has been some abuse or trauma involved. We’re here for you and we support you. You know what’s best for yourself right now.

    All the best,
    Becca

  16. lizzi

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through such a hard time right now. Relationships can be complicated, even long after they’ve ended. You may have put each other through a lot of turmoil, but that doesn’t take away the good memories you may have together. No matter how or why things end, it can be hard to see someone you cared about with another girl. It’s hard enough without having any contact, but it sounds like he just kinda popped back into your life and I’m sure that’s making it harder to forget him right now. It’s understandable to miss him, and it’s okay if you don’t know why. Keep focusing on other things, like your photography, and hopefully you can continue working towards moving on from him.

  17. rohina_kumar Volunteer

    Hi Jamie,

    I’m so sorry you feel this way and this really does sound painful. It can be really hard to let go of someone who was so close to you during one point of your life, regardless of how things ended. And of course, these small reminders such as liking your instagram posts can affect you a lot more than you think they will. I just want to remind you that although you may not completely understand why you’re feeling this way, it is completely normal. Take it one step at a time and make sure to focus on your healing process. We’re always here to support you and would love to keep hearing from you. All the love.

  18. Ashley Day Captain

    Letting go of someone can be difficult, especially when there’s a part of us that wants to keep holding onto them. It sounds like photography has kept you occupied. In regards to your ex “liking” some of your posts, I can only imagine what kind of thoughts ran through your mind. It’s okay to miss someone who was an important person in your life, Jamie Marie.

    Ashley

  19. Edjay Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    It definitely sounds painful being reminded of certain dates that remind you of your relationship with your ex. It definitely doesn’t make it easier to move on when he starts liking your instagram photos too. It’s okay to miss him, the process of moving on is not linear. Some days will be better than others, but either way, we’re here for you. Take care.

  20. sfmbelle413 Day Captain

    Hey there Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for coming back and trusting us with this. You have been a great contributor in our community and we welcome you with open arms any time. “Anniversaries” can be hard – present or past. It makes sense that it’s too hard to be friends. There can be too many memories and feelings when you see, or even hear, of someone you once had a relationship with. It’s okay to miss him despite what happened. As they say, the heart wants what the heart wants. I do hope you’ve taken time for yourself and given yourself the time you need to process and heal.

    Sending light your way,
    SFM

  21. brookeallnutt Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for taking the time to update us. I’m sorry that you are having a tough time right now. It’s totally normal to miss an ex especially during special anniversaries. I hope focusing on things like photography will help you heal and move on, and as always we are here for you when you want to talk!

  22. haesol Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thank you for sharing! I’m sorry you’ve been having a hard time. Missing someone, especially one that had such an impact on you, can be really challenging. Your feelings are totally valid, you know better than anyone else what your relationship was like. It is okay to miss him, you’re not at fault.

    Him liking some posts might mean he’s having a hard time moving on too, even if he’s in a relationship right now. Have you tried contacting him again? Maybe having some closure can help you to move on with good terms.

    Feel free to come back and update us if you want! we’d love to hear from you again.

    I wish you the best,

    -sol.

  23. jcas120 Volunteer

    Hello Jamie Marie,

    It’s great to have you back with us for another update. I’m happy you’re here!

    I’m sorry that you’re having a hard time moving on. It sounds like your ex was a big part of your life. Especially after he liked a few of your posts out of nowhere, it seems like that reminder of him was hard. After all, you did just tell him that it hurt too much to be friends. I know that the uncertainty of not knowing can be difficult even when you miss someone. What you are going through sounds really difficult, but you have done so much great work that I know you will make it past this and make the right choices.

    You can always come back to update us again, and I hope you find the responses here today helpfu.

  24. Northlane1991 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie

    I am sorry you are missing your ex. You cared for someone so long and it takes time to heal from it. Sometimes we get triggered by thing and that is okay. It is great to find outlets you use to help you cope. Please know if you need anything we are here for you and care for you.

  25. musicislove

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    I’m sorry you’re missing your ex so much. When you’ve cared about someone for so long it can be hard to get them out of your head, especially when they pop up unexpectedly. Photography is a great thing to focus on I’m glad you’ve found that outlet, it’s great to feed your creativity in such a fun way. I know anniversaries can be hard so I hope you’re doing okay, you deserve to feel peace. Please come back anytime, we’re always here for you.

    Delaney

  26. Thomas Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for the update. First of all, I think photography is a great thing to focus on. Keep that up! Great job.

    And I’m sorry that your ex liked some of your posts. When it isn’t expected, that can hit like a freight train. It’s okay to feel the way you are. I’d recommend making sure he is blocked on all of your social media accounts so he can’t reach you like that. I know it isn’t easy, but you’re doing a great job.

  27. KatherineL Volunteer

    Hi Jamie Marie,

    Anniversary dates like this can be really tough to handle, especially with everything that’s happened since that time. You’re allowed to feel this way, even if you can’t explain why. Like others have said, maybe consider blocking him on social media so you don’t get these surprise alerts that may be triggering. It doesn’t have to be forever, but may help you during this time. Something to consider, but you know what is best for you and we support you regardless. Take care and hope to hear from you again soon.

    KatherineL

  28. rkr18 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie-Marie

    Thanks for sharing Jamie-marie. I’m sorry your feeling sad about your ex. It’s not easy to forgot someone that you loved no matter the relationship. And you are allowed to have feelings and emotions. I do wish you peace and strength today. Please continue to update us know we are here for you!
    -Marie

  29. snandi2 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie,

    I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through so much pain and heartbreak. It’s completely okay to still miss him even though you broke up with him two years ago. It’s never easy to let go of someone you loved so deeply. Healing is a long and difficult process, but I have faith that you’ll get there! Focusing on your hobbies is a great step forward. Blocking him on Instagram and other social media accounts would help in the process of healing as well so you won’t be reminded of him. Please continue to update us and rest assured that we are always here to listen to you and help you.

  30. Nichole-SW94 Volunteer

    Welcome back Jamie,

    I know to some two years may seem like a long time, but there is no timeline when recovering from heartache. I am sorry you are feeling this pain on this significant day. I cannot tell you that you will eventually forget but hopefully one day this day will not hurt you as much. Time and distance makes us miss people who do not deserve our affection and energy. It sounds like you made the right decision for yourself by distancing yourself from him and focusing on photography. This is a great way to help you cope! But when he came back out of nowhere, it was natural for these emotions to come flooding back. Keep on your path of healing and this is just a bump in the road. You may not be able to control him coming into your life unexpectedly, but you can control your actions afterward to help yourself. But it’s okay to miss him, he was a significant part of your life. Having someone that close to you then just disappear, it is hard not to wonder about them. Always here for you

  31. Alyssa Day Captain

    Hi Jamie Marie,
    I’m sorry that this break up has been so hard. When you love someone it is extremely hard to let go. It doesn’t always matter how much they hurt you if you don’t have the correct closure that you need it makes things harder on you. The new girlfriend might just be him trying to move on because you haven’t spoken to him since April or maybe him and his girlfriend broke up. Him liking your Instagram pictures might be an indicator that he misses you.
    Remember, you are allowed to have feelings and miss him. You are human. Just always go with your gut feeling, if you saw that he liked your pictures maybe you can just message him and say thanks if you want to talk to him. Sometimes if you just start out with something small like that it can rekindle things. Thanks for updating us.
    -Alyssa

  32. mikaylaanne11 Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    What you’re feeling is normal and valid. You aren’t at fault for continuing to think about him, especially since he was a big part of your life for such a significant span of time. Blocking my manipulative ex on social media really helped me to get over her. What would have been our 4 year anniversary just passed this week, so I sympathize with you. But after being detached from her (online and in person) for so long really made that day hurt less. You are allowed to feel that hurt! I think it might be helpful for you to consider what might help you heal in the long term, even if it hurts a lot right now.

    We’re always here to be a sounding board any time you want to share! Keep being patient with yourself and take some time to treat yourself this week.

  33. Breanna Volunteer

    Hey Jamie Marie,

    Thanks for coming here to share with us. I’m sorry you’re feeling all of this right now. It is super hard to let go of someone who was once so close to you, and even more so when there are random and confusing signals. It can make it really hard to move on. It sounds like you’re doing great and focusing on the things that make you happy, like photography. Maybe over the next few days while you’re dealing with these emotions, you can try to place extra focus on the things that make you smile. Keep your head up and stay strong. Things will get easier.

    Sending you love and support,
    Bre

  34. kelly Day Captain

    Hey, Jamie. I’m sorry you’re going through that. Heartache can last a long time, especially if the person keeps popping up in your life like that. Just continue to do what you were doing – focusing on your photography and moving forward. I’m sorry you’re put in this position. It doesn’t sound like he’s respecting your boundaries and they deserve to be respected. Hang in there, it will get better.

  35. Erin O'Callaghan Day Captain

    Thank you for coming back to share. I’m sorry that this day is so difficult, and that it has only been made more confusing by him liking your Instagram posts. I think it is understandable to miss people you cared about, even if they hurt you. I can’t remember if you are still seeing your therapist remotely, but it might be helpful to talk to them about how you’re feeling? Keep coming back to share, and I think focusing on your photography and what helps you is really important.

    Erin

  36. Neesha Volunteer

    Jamie,
    The heartache is normal, and it makes sense that him liking some of your posts brings up feelings. Anniversaries are hard, keeping focusing on your photography and include self care into your routine. Feel your feelings and you will make it through.

  37. zelda Volunteer

    Hi, Jamie!

    I understand the heartbreak. Losing a partner is devastating, and time doesn’t always heal wounds. It’s okay to still miss him, love him, and want to be with him. Be kind and patient with yourself, especially during the special days (birthdays and anniversaries) of the relationship. You may feel a variety of overwhelming emotions during that time. Allow yourself to embrace the sadness, anger, happiness, etc.

    If you want to visit the blog Modern Loss, it may help you. The site centers on people who have lost loved ones to death, but there’s one article in particular that may comfort you. The writer lost her mom to cancer, then her boyfriend broke up with her. Her mother had some great advice for her, and I believe the writer wrote a very encouraging piece.

    Here is the link: https://modernloss.com/the-breakup/

  38. music2799 Day Captain

    Hi Jamie,
    To me, the anniversary and his likes on your posts are reminders of him. These reminders may have led you to reflect on the relationship, and maybe as a result of that, you’re missing him. I want to let you know that your feelings are valid. Anniversaries can be hard. It can be difficult to wonder what the other person is thinking or feeling, and it can take time to let go. You’re not wrong for feeling this way.
    I encourage you to keep focusing on your photography and to find healthy ways to express/care for yourself. Sometimes having an outlet for our feelings can help us process them. Do you have anyone you can talk to, such as a friend or a therapist? Having a support network can help us when we’re feeling this way.
    Thank you for updating us. We’re here for you whenever you need to talk, and I believe in you. I hope you can find peace soon.