Family!

I was only 8 years old when a family member started molesting me. It went on for a whole summer. My mom found out I can’t remember if I told her or how it came out but her way of protecting me was moving us to another city. When I was 12/13 my brother started molesting me. It started with him trying to touch me in my private parts. He old grab me coming g out of a room and try force himself on me in a vary of ways. He would sneak in my room and try to force his penis in my mouth while I was sleeping. It went on for awhile. When I told my mom she promised me it wouldn’t happen again but it did! I managed to fight him off me on many occasions. I never felt save. The I met a boy and needed up getting pregnant at 14 years old. I had a daughter 9 months later. Then I not only had to worry about myself but now I was responsible for another… Read more  »

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Yes, In A Church (Update #9)

I have yet to cut again, you will all be glad to know. We finally got to start moving into our house this past Thursday, and I love it. Though I was suppose to see my therapist that night, we rescheduled for this Thursday evening instead. My best childhood friend read through all of my… Read more

It happened solongago, episode 30.

I went in today without even my diet coke, no journal, no briefcase with the stuff from group. See, I hide behind these — literally in group sometimes, but when I go to see Karen, I have my journal to back me up, and in the bag, the binder from group which has plenty I… Read more

Manipulative?

I had this realization. I’ve had it before, but I don’t think it hit me as hard in the past. I’ll explain. When I told him I liked him, he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship. When we were in that room together (the day of the assault), he said he was attracted to… Read more

Talking

A couple of weeks ago I was talking to a friend and we were talking about some of the reasons we were depressed and reasons why we find it hard to trust others. Well apparently we were both abused sexually as children and never really confided in anyone much less each other. It was really… Read more

Why do I remember this, after all this time?

My mother learned she has cancer, since we learned of this things have remained the same, only with more drama. One night I wasn’t able to sleep and I went and looked through my old yearbook, I read a passage from a teacher and I became physically sick when I remembered shortly after I was… Read more

Lost

People say “you have a voice” but to me nobody is listening. People say “don’t give up” but I am damaged and there’s no going back. I want to help survivors but I can’t find the words any more, because I’ve stopped believing that there’s any hope. They should have killed me. I’m worthless, I’m… Read more

My story.

When I was 13 years old I would go to my grandpas house on the weekends and in the summer. There was always a ton of kids and people at his house because he had an open door policy and had a kind heart. I would go with my little sister who is four years… Read more

Yes, In A Church (Update #8)

This past Tuesday I relapsed and self harmed again. I hadn’t done it all summer, and I was super proud, but now I’m pretty disappointed in myself. Cutting use to draw me back to reality, it made me feel something again. Right now I feel like I’m stuck in a play. I’ve studied the part… Read more

Going through a lot of emotions

Hi, I was sexually abused by my friend when I was around 10 years old. The memories of it were not escaping me as I got older and now I’m 26 and left with painful memories of what happened to me. I never even realized I was a victim of sexual abuse and I never… Read more

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