Trapped

Hi everyone. I'm at this interesting point in my life. I turn 20 next month, and I want to be more independent. One of my goals is to live on my own. I didn't think about being independent in high school - partially because I didn't realize my parents were invalidating me until my first semester of college. I'll admit it's frustrating because I want to live on my own, but I don't know if I have enough life skills or even enough money to do it. I have a plan to move out, and I'm trying to be positive. Yet it's so difficult. One of the reasons why I want to live on my own is so I can do what I want without caring as much about what other people think. Caring too much about what others think has been a major obstacle throughout my life. I think my parents trained me to do this, and I'm trying so hard to kick it to the curb. It's prominent in my culture, and if anyone wants to do something outside the subjective 'norm,' we're… Read more  »

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long time listener, first time caller

hey guys. I’ve been volunteering and responding to stories for close to two years now, but I’ve never really shared my story. I won’t really go in to too much detail, but I experienced sexual assault at the hands of a baseball coach at  6 years old. Later in college I was a part of… Read more

Sexual Abuse and Healing

My Father came in and out of my life when it was convenient for him, but I survived. My mother wasn’t really there but, I survived. My three uncles started raping me at 5 years old, but I survived. The Youth pastor rapes me at 13 years old but, I survived. At the age of… Read more

Thoughts…

The puppy’s collar and tags jingle like the keys on a belt loop  and send me deep into the abyss The darkness is overwhelming Fear. Panic. Dread. ~ consume me I know what is coming  I pretend to be asleep in my bed On my side. I face the door Light. Then back to dark … Read more

episode 33, the birthday party aftermath

Well, I talk a lot about forgiveness, but I struggle with it, because I think I have forgiven, and find that I haven’t, over and over and over again.  Today was my sister’s 40th birthday, and I had to go.  She threw me a party on my fortieth, and she came to my fiftieth.  She’s… Read more

Yet another life update

TRIGGER WARNING Hey everyone. It’s been a while since I have posted on here. I was supposed to respond to stories yesterday but I couldn’t and I’m sincerely sorry about that.I If any of you are curious about how my life is, I’ll share all the juicy details. I recently had a job interview at a… Read more

1025pm

Hi all. Thank you so much for all of your support. As I said this morning, I had an appointment with my lady today. It went pretty well.  I told her what I posted this morning. We talked about talking about it. And sitting with my feelings instead of running away, pushing them down, avoiding… Read more

Survivor Of Childhood Sexual Abuse

As a child Sexual Abuse took my innocents, destroyed my self-esteem, and stained my trust. I grew up looking for love in all the wrong people trying to be accepted while being rejected. Struggled very hard while growing up, but God knew the path I would take and the mistakes I would make along the… Read more

836am

I have an appointment in a couple hours with my lady.  It’s so weird to me that when I’m between appointments I want to talk. Like it’s right there just waiting to be said. Then the day comes and  I feel completely shut down. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to remember. I’m… Read more

Birth to 15

I honestly don’t know how to start this story but i do know i need to get out off my chest. My father raped and molested me until i was 15 years old. He taught me that it was normal and that that was what i was made for… Kinda because it was. My mother… Read more

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