Victim to victor???

I started off coming to this page as a volunteer to help others. Turns out you truly can't help another person until you can help yourself. I have spent these last two years in a cycle of trauma and alcohol abuse. I thought I was one of those people who was okay because I thought my drinking wouldn't affect anybody. Turns out all that drinking was just covering up trauma that I have been holding in for years. Since telling my story on this page, I had gotten into a relationship that was pretty damn good. We had a lot of ups and a lot of downs, mostly due to my drinking. We would move in together and then break up. Throughout that time we then gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and decided it was time to bring our families together and move it in once again. And, that's when the darkness takes over when I'm happy and I feel like I don't deserve it. So self-sabotage is my best friend. Why do we feel like we don't… Read more  »

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Was I just set up to be a target?

What do you do when you’re going on 40 with a life time of memories that still affect you?  I always thought the issues I was experiencing were because there was something wrong with me, my mental health, or genetics.  I have memories, lots of hurtful memories, but I never thought those were the full… Read more

What’s wrong with me?

Before I go on, two things. One, this post is going to be very long. Two, this post is going to be more of a rant about how horrible my life feels right now rather than me sharing about my last experience with sexual assault. If neither of those two things interest you, stop reading… Read more

I am so disappointed…

Ok, so I went to the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center in October, well I contacted them over the summer looking for a group.  I started doing individual with them in October, and my 5 months are up next Wednesday.  THAT doesn’t have me disappointed.  The lady was really nice, but I felt pressured to just… Read more

Obsessed With Sex

It’s been about a month and a half since I shared my first post here on this website.  To recap: My ex-boyfriend, Asshole, blackmailed me into being his sex slave using my nudes and forced me to do disgusting sex acts like ass-to-mouth and being his human toilet and swallowing his piss.  I told my… Read more

Third post

Ive been quite since my second post not because i was nervous, but i just wasnt sure what more to say i guess. I always feel like once i get it out what happened theres not much else to say. everything else are things i assume people already can guess, like yes i have flashbacks,… Read more

Finding Courage

So since deciding to share my story here, I’ve been shown so much support and love from all the comments on my story. Everyone who commented, thank you so much. Thank you for caring. Thank you for your kind words. And mostly, thank you for giving me the courage to share my story to others. … Read more

episode 51. Quinnie

I put her down today.  I waited too long, but she was still wagging her tail.  She was still eating.  She was still getting up and going outside and going after treats, and happy to see me.   I took her in, and she was only 39 pounds.  She was 53 pounds two months ago. … Read more


Hi everyone. It’s been a long time since I’ve posted here. I think the last time I shared that I went to the police in 2016 to file a report about a rape I survived in 2005. They opened an investigation but nothing good really came from it aside from some emotional closure for me…. Read more

Victimized twice

    My story has been hard for me write out even though I’ve told it a thousand times in my head. The first time of being abused I was 7 years old, its was summer and I would go to the park in our neighborhood with my brother who was a few years older than me…. Read more

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