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i-love-youWe have all seen a fair amount of negative press about the movie 50 Shades Of Grey. The thing that has people the most upset is the fact that it does not promote a healthy relationship (BDSM or otherwise), and yet it is coming out Valentine’s Day weekend…the day that is most identified as a ‘relationship’ day. So, in honor of keeping a positive light on this year’s Valentines Day, we asked ten people to explain to us their own definition of a healthy relationship, and what qualities are the most important to them in order to be happy with their partner.  Here is what they said:


file8901250742781“A healthy relationship is based in collaboration.  Instead of compromising to make a significant other happy, collaboration benefits lovers.  To understand each other, empathize, and make decisions holistic for progression of both interests, is what a healthy relationship is about.  There will always be compromise when it comes to dinner, or a car purchase, but to compromise out of insecurity, jealousy, or exasperation, is not healthy.  Look for a partner who is collaborative.” -C.M.

A healthy relationship practices consent 100% of the time- no exceptions, no excuses.  A healthy relationship never leaves any of its participants feeling guilted, shamed, humiliated, or manipulated.  A healthy relationship leaves all parties feeling like individuals participating in something willingly and happily that adds fulfillment and enjoyment to their lives.” – D.F.

“To have a healthy relationship means that you have a mutual loving and emotional connection, the utmost respect for one another, and that you maintain open and honest communication at all times.” -E.B.

“In my opinion, a healthy relationship is  based on trust and respect.  When you and your partner enjoy spending time with each other, but don’t mind spending time apart.  After all, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder… I also believe communication is important in maintaining a healthy relationship, and learning to work through conflicts together.” -S.B.

“For me, a healthy relationship is one where both parties are loving, understanding, open, and honest.  There has to be support and perseverance to get through the difficult things.” -J.S.

“A healthy relationship is one where the person you are with makes you a better person for being with them.  They encourage you to follow your dreams and are there for you when you need them.  That person loves you for you.  Respect, trust, and communication are key.” -A.M.

“I think the healthiest relationships are the ones that seem effortless day-to-day.  When the person you’re with makes it so easy to be comfortable in your own skin that you don’t even have to think about it anymore.  So, simplicity, I think, is necessary.  Sure, all relationships take work sometimes.  But the kind of relationship where you can just wake up every day and know with absolute certainty that you can be as open, honest, or flawed as you need to be, and your partner is going to just love, support, and respect you regardless of a bad day – that is what matters.” -S.A.file0001003772897

“A healthy relationship, in my opinion, is one where you fully trust the other person without even realizing you’re doing it while being able to communicate – even when it’s about difficult topics that make us vulnerable.” -J.S.

“A healthy relationship is one where both people in the relationship share an intimate and loving bond.  One where each person is in charge of themselves but works toward the greater  good for the relationship.  In a healthy relationship, there is mutual trust and respect where each person is free to make their own decisions, have their own opinions, and come and go as they please.  Their relationship is safe from the refuge of the rest of the world where each person can rest upon each other for support and encouragement.” -S.P.


So what’s the definition of a healthy relationship to you?  Let us know in the comments!

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  1. Erin Day Captain

    A healthy relationship, to me, is one free from manipulation, deception, and distrust. You both must give and maintain the trust of the other person. In a healthy relationship, both partners must be loving, attentive, and supportive. One partner shouldn’t try to dominate the other. It should be an equal partnership based on trust and love. Speaking has a person who has experienced both types of relationships, I realize now what I had been missing before. And that is true, unconditional love. I think that is very important; that love be unconditional.