Grudges

It has been about 25 years since the sexual abuse ended and 20 years since I first told someone. There were several instances by multiple men starting from the age of 2 years old till I was in my twenties. Sometimes it was only once from a date rape or an old man neighbor that made me hold his wrinkled dick while he peed in his backyard. (That was the first abuse at thw age of 2), the one that still haunts me is my brother. Years and years of him coming in my room and I lay there prenting to sleep while he would finger me. I was prettified and didn't move nor said any words. He would cum and smell and lick his fingers and then leave. I still have triggers. It is little things that can shoot back a memory, a smell, someone smacking their food, etc.... He is in prison again for drugs and dwi's but never has he gotten judge and jury for my abuse. I live with this shame and he has no remorse.… Read more  »

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The year that fell apart in pieces

It was June of 1986 and since September of 1983 I had overcome suicide thoughts, self harm habit where I would mostly punch my legs, and upper arms, but would also because I’m double jointed, proper term I understand is having more flexible bones, I was able to punch my back, and I would even… Read more

Starting over again

I have to start over again, having pain, suffering, memories, physical pain, and who knows what else This time it’s going to be different, I will get the therapy, medical, support, and any other help I can get. Sometime last weekend everything that I worked on for 37 years was almost like I didn’t heal…. Read more

Echoes of my rape

I have to pull myself together, let me tell you what happened, I severed my friendship with my best friends wife and that may affect our friendship as well don’t know I guess I have to know was I right in taking the action I took. It started this past weekend I was enjoying lunch… Read more

My story

When I was younger I didn’t know who my dad was, my mom knew but didn’t tell me. One day she invited my Grandma, my Grandpa, and my Aunt (all from my dad’s side of the family). I instantly felt a connection with them so I started going to their house and staying the night… Read more

I just had to say something

It was summer in 2008 when me and my mother went on a weekend trip, we caught a good deal where a charted bus would take us to the many places. It was about 3pm the first day and the bus was full except for one person, so it waited. About 15 minutes later this… Read more

The precious gift of love

Many people take things for granted today, like love. And for those of us who are victims of rape and abuse hopefully find this little story encouraging As I sometimes put ties on when I get dressed there is this special blue tie that I sometimes hold to my cheek, let me tell you why… Read more

Everyone deserves to be loved

It was September of 1995 when this young woman started working at my job, she seemed different, while others would laugh play jokes about my rapist coming up to see me, she’d always seem to be at my side every time. She’d hug me everyday we worked together, give me rides home where I opened… Read more

How I was saved

It was June of 1984 my mother was in the hospital recovering from her 1 of 25 surgeries on her bones, I believe it was a spinal fusion not sure though, anyway my step father who caused her to have the surgery by ramming her head against the furnace, wall or anything else to yanking… Read more

8 years old older cousin

I was 8,9,10 when it began and ended. I am a non binary person (born female) who is into women, and the person who took away my innocence was a female. Sometimes I wonder if thats why I am gay. I have two solid memories of the abuse. We were in a hotel room, and… Read more

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