Some friends are better left alone.

What I am about to tell you happened over 20 years ago. I was raped. I did not ask for it. I did not want it. It just happened. I had a friend that I was extremely close with, and she and I did everything together. In fact, there was a six month period where we were together EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. (That is important to this). She was dating a guy that was older, and she seemed really happy, and he seemed like a nice guy. Then came a night when she and her boyfriend were getting a hotel room and he was bringing a friend...enter me into this little scenario. In my naivety at that time, I thought to myself "hell, a night away from my parents and free beer...woohoo!" I was having fun, not an experienced drinker, I kept playing "Up and Down the River" and "Truth or Dare". I was of the mind going into this evening that I would have my own bed and this random guy would take the couch. The room was huge. So I am… Read more  »

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Out of the Ashes

I am a survivor of not only one, but two separate sexual assaults. Recently Diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) I don’t know why the second event is seared on my memory, and the first passed with out hardly a memory at all. My therapist seems to think I was drugged the first time… Read more »

Traitorous Miracle

Disclaimer: The following is a disjointed mess. I apologize for the chaotic nature and the jumping in timeline. Ive never told my story like this, but am not aiming for attention or looking to gain anything by this being out. I dont even care if it gets read. its just finally out. I grew up… Read more »

A little of my story

I’m in therapy and have been a me to tell my therapist and few friends and family about being a used but haven’t been able to tell anyone about the most difficult things. My first memories of abuse was when I was about 4. At 7 was when I was first vaginally raped. It hurt… Read more »

My story…

My first memory is of me packing my belongings while sipping chocolate milk that was spoiled out of a bottle. I can taste it just thinking about it. I remember how hungry I was and how that hunger made me overlook what others would be repulsed by. I don’t remember the circumstance, but I remember… Read more »

My Fault

I can’t admit to anyone that what happened to me was sexual assault, and I feel like I’m to blame for all of this, but here’s my story: About a year and a half ago I was babysitting for my brother at his house. He had gone out with some friends who were all still… Read more »

I am not my past.

He told me he had done it to our neighbor before she moved to Texas. I will never know if it was true, but that started it all. We we in the upstairs bathroom when we took our pants off and he made me sit with my legs open so that he could see me…. Read more »

Survival in Three Short Chapters

Hi All, I am a proud AVFTI volunteer and have posted here before. This past weekend, I felt inspired to write a poem (something I never do), but it is, I believe, what my heart has been longing to say for 25 long years. I wanted to share it somehow and figured the loving and… Read more »

part 2. . . .

I have a little more time to write. It felt almost like a therapeutic experience last time I wrote here so I figured I should try telling the rest of the stories… after I told my mom I was raped at 7 (though at the time I called it sex I didn’t know what raped… Read more »

It’s time to tell it.

When I was 25 ish, my husband and I were co-pastors of a little church. We were there for a couple of years, and while I was okay with it for the most part, there were things that disturbed me. The pastor had a habit of being really mean spirited when he talked about people… Read more »

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